CHAPTER NINETEEN

WHAT IN THE world had he let happen?

Angelo raked his fingers through his hair, not caring if he messed it up or not. He’d already messed things up big-time with Kayla. In the bright light of the morning sun, he stood on the balcony of his suite in the royal palace. He’d woken up in the middle of the night after a nightmare—a nightmare he’d thought he’d done away with long ago.

After leaving Italy, he’d had nightmares about his father turning him out—of his father throwing his clothes out in the drive and telling him that he was not welcome there ever again. In his dream, and in real life, his mother had cried, but she didn’t dare go against her husband’s wishes even if it meant sacrificing one of her own children.

But last night his nightmare had been different. It was Kayla who’d turned him away. She’d told him that she never wanted to see him again. He’d begged and pleaded, but she’d hear none of it. Her face had been devoid of emotion as she slammed the door in his face. With nowhere to go, he’d walked the dark streets of New York. When a mugger attacked him, Angelo had sat up straight in bed. His heart had been racing and he’d broken out in a cold sweat.

Angelo gave his head a firm shake, trying to erase the haunting images. Of course, he knew that he wasn’t going to end up homeless, but he also knew that the dream was a warning of looming trouble. If his own parents could turn him out, why couldn’t Kayla? How could he risk getting close to her, knowing how unreliable relationships could be? After all, his own parents were quite familiar with the divorce courts as they broke up and got back together on a regular basis. Angelo’s chest tightened.

The only thing he could do was end things with Kayla—quickly and swiftly. There was no way to put the genie back in the bottle, but that didn’t mean that they had to continue down this road—no matter how tempted he was to do just that. He couldn’t put his tattered heart on the line only to have it shunned again. The price was just too high.

A knock at his door alerted him to the fact that their car was waiting to take them to the airstrip. It was time to return to Italy. More than that, it was time to face Kayla. He didn’t know what to say to her—how to explain that everything they’d shared was a big mistake.

By the time he made it downstairs, Kayla was already in the car. Not even the clear blue sky and the sight of the beautiful gardens could lighten his mood. He was in the wrong here. Things had spiraled totally out of control yesterday, and it had been all his doing.

“Good morning.” He settled in the seat next to her, making sure to leave plenty of room between them.

Her face was turned away. “Morning.”

That was it. The only conversation they had as his luggage was loaded in the rear. Time seemed suspended as he waited for the car to roll down the driveway. This was going to be a very long trip back to Italy. And a very quiet one.

It wasn’t until they were on his private jet and airborne that he realized ignoring the situation wasn’t going to make it go away. They still had to work together.

“We need to talk.”

Kayla turned to him. “Funny you should pick now to talk.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you didn’t have time to talk last night. You had one thing on your mind and now that you’ve gotten it, you want to give me the big kiss-off.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. I didn’t set out to hurt you. You were as willing for last night as I was.”

“You didn’t even have the decency to face me this morning. You slunk away in the middle of the night.”

“That’s not true.” Not exactly. “I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to wake you up.” The truth was that he’d never gone back to sleep after that nightmare. He just couldn’t shake the feeling of inevitable doom.

She eyed him up. “So then I jumped to the wrong conclusion? You weren’t trying to get away from me?”

The hurt look in her eyes tore at him. This was all about him, not her. She was wonderful—amazing—perfect. He just wasn’t the guy for her. But how did he make that clear to her?

He got up from his seat and moved across the aisle and sat beside her, still not sure what to say. Somehow, someway he had to say the right words to make her realize that she was amazing, but they just weren’t going to have more than they’d shared yesterday.

He resisted the urge to pull her into his arms and kiss away the unhappiness written all over her face. Instead, he took her hand in his. “Kayla, you are the most wonderful woman I have ever known. And yesterday was very special. I will never ever forget it—”

“But you don’t want to see me again.” She jerked her hand away.

“No—I mean yes.” He blew out a breath. “I’m not the man to settle down into a serious relationship.”

“Is that what you tell all of your women?”

“No. It’s not.” She eyed him with obvious disbelief reflected in her eyes. “I’m telling you the truth. I never let anyone get this close to me.”

She crossed her arms. “Then why me? Why did I have to be the one that you let get close only to reject me after one night?”

Frustration balled up in his gut—not at her, at himself for being unable to explain this properly. He’d been a scared young man with no one to turn to for help. Thank goodness for his inheritance or else he never would have been able to make it in the States. But did either of his parents care? No. Did they ever write or phone? No. Not until he’d made it on his own did he hear from his mother—she was marrying his father again and she wanted him to be there. Angelo didn’t bother to respond. The only family he acknowledged these days was his brother and sister.

He didn’t need a romantic relationship. Love was overrated. His business gave him happiness and a sense of accomplishment—that was all he’d ever need.

And somewhere along the way, he’d stumbled upon his explanation to Kayla. “You have to understand that for years now the only thing I’ve had to count on in my life was my career, and then it was my business. I’ve put everything I am into it—”

“But what does that have to do with me—with us?”

He reached out as though to squeeze her arm, but when her eyes widened, he realized that he was making yet another mistake and pulled back. “One of the reasons that Amatucci & Associates was able to grow so rapidly into a top advertising firm is that I gave it 110 percent of my attention—to the point of spending many nights on the couch in my office.”

Her eyes grew shiny and she blinked repeatedly. “So what you’re saying is that your company is now and will always be more important to you than me.”

Is that what he was saying? It sure sounded much harsher when she said it. His gut twisted in a painful knot, knowing that he couldn’t be the man worthy of her heart.

“You have to understand. I’m losing my edge. I fumbled this wedding pitch. If it wasn’t for you, it would have been a disaster. The thing is I don’t fumble accounts. I always maintain my cool. I keep my distance so that I am able to view projects objectively. But since we’ve been in Italy—since that first kiss—I haven’t been able to maintain a professional distance. I’ve been all over the place, and that can’t happen—I can’t lose focus. It’s what keeps me ahead of my competitors.”

He did his best work when he relied on his head and not his heart. It was all of the talk about romance and weddings that had him thinking there was something between him and Kayla. That was all. Exhaustion and too much talk of love.

“I really need to work now.” Kayla’s voice was icy cold and dismissive.

“Do me a favor.” He wanted to say something to lighten her mood.

“Depends.”

“Remind me to stay far, far away from any other accounts where there’s a wedding involved.”

She didn’t smile. She didn’t react at all. Her head turned back to her computer.

He felt compelled to try again to smooth things over. Was that even possible at this point? “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Her narrowed gaze met his straight on. “You’ve helped me quite enough. I can handle this on my own. I’m sure you have something requiring your objective view and professional distance.”

He moved back to his seat on the other side of the aisle. The fact that she was throwing his own words back in his face hurt. But he deserved it and so much more. He’d lost his head while in Halencia and now Kayla was paying the price.

For the rest of the flight, Kayla didn’t say a word, and though he longed for her understanding—he had to accept that it was too much for her to take in. There was a part of him that wasn’t buying it, either. It was the same part of him that couldn’t imagine what his life was going to be like without her in it.

He leaned back in his seat, hearing the wheels of the plane screech as they made contact with the tarmac. Instead of returning to Italy, he longed to be in New York—a return to a structured, disciplined work atmosphere.

Back at the office there’d be no cucumber waters with sprigs of mint and the most adorable woman dressed in nothing more than a white fluffy robe that hid a lacy hot pink set of lingerie. His mouth grew dry as he recalled how Kayla had stared at him over the rim of her glass with those alluring green eyes.

He drew his thoughts to a sharp halt. He reminded himself that his regular PA should be returning from her maternity leave soon—real soon. If he could just keep it together a little longer, his life would return to normal. But why didn’t that sound so appealing any longer?

* * *

It doesn’t matter.

Kayla kept repeating that mantra to herself, wishing her heart would believe it. Three days had passed since she’d woken up alone after a night of lovemaking. How could Angelo just slip away into the night without a word? Did he know how much it would hurt her? Did he even give her feelings any consideration?

It doesn’t matter.

Today was the day they learned whether their royal wedding pitch had been accepted or not. Kayla replayed the presentation in her head. She couldn’t help wondering—if she hadn’t been so distracted by the problems with the fund-raiser and with her growing feelings for Angelo could she have done more? She worried her bottom lip. For months and months, she’d done everything to be the best employee, and now that it counted, she’d lost her focus. She’d let herself fall for her boss’s mesmerizing eyes, devilish good looks and charms.

It doesn’t matter.

Dismissing their time together was his choice. Why should she let it bother her? She didn’t need him. She squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out the memories of being held in his arms—of the tender touch of his lips. How could such a special night go so terribly wrong? Had she totally misread what Angelo had been telling her?

None of it matters!

She had important work to do. Angelo had just departed for his brother’s villa to speak to him about their sister. Kayla had declined his stilted offer to take her with him. She may have made a mess of things with Angelo, but there was still time to pull together the after-school program fund-raiser.

Kayla focused on the email she was composing to the manager of another New York City band. She could only hope they had a cancellation because the most popular bands were booked well into the future. With her name typed at the bottom, she reread it, making sure it contained plenty of appeals to the man’s generous side. After all, who could possibly turn down a group of needy kids? She sure couldn’t. Once she was certain there weren’t any typos, she pressed Send, hoping and praying that this appeal to the Spiraling Kaleidoscopes would turn things around.

Her thoughts immediately turned to her faltering career at Amatucci & Associates. She grabbed frantically for some glimmer of hope that there was a way to get back to their prior boss-employee relationship. But every time Angelo looked at her, her heart ached and her mind went back in time to those precious moments they’d spent together, wondering if any of it was real.

Ending things now was for the best. It was all of this talk about a wedding that had filled her head with these ridiculous romantic notions. And after working so closely with Angelo these past few weeks, it was only natural that she would project them onto him. The truth was that she wasn’t ready to fall in love with him—or anyone. She didn’t want to settle down yet. She still had her dreams to accomplish and her career to achieve.

A message flashed on the computer screen. She had a new email. Her body tensed and she said a silent prayer that it would be good news.

She positioned the cursor on the email and clicked, opening the message on to the screen:

The backs of Kayla’s eyes stung. She continued to stare at the email, wishing the letters would rearrange themselves into an acceptance letter, but they refused to budge. This was it. She was out of ideas and out of time. No other band at this late date was going to be available.

Another email popped into her inbox.

Her vision blurred. She’d made a mess of everything. And she had no idea how she was ever going to face the children of the after-school program and tell them that she’d let them down—that the doors of the center were going to close.

Just then the door of the suite swung open. It must be the maid. Kayla swiped a hand across her cheeks and sniffled. She was a mess. Hopefully the cleaning lady wouldn’t notice. And if she did, hopefully she wouldn’t say anything.

“I’ll just move out of your way.” Kayla closed her laptop, preparing to move down to the pool area to work.

“Why would you have to get out of my way?”

That wasn’t the maid’s voice. It was Angelo’s. He was back. But why?

When she didn’t say a word, he moved to her side. “Kayla, what’s the matter?”

She didn’t face him. “I...I thought you were the maid.”

“Obviously, I’m not. I forgot my phone so I came back. I didn’t want to miss a call from the royal family about the pitch.”

“Oh, okay.” She kept her head down and fidgeted with the pens on the table.

“Kayla, look at me.”

She shook her head.

“Kayla.” He knelt down next to her.

Oh, what did it matter? She lifted her face to him. “What do you need?”

“I need you to explain to me what’s wrong.” The concern was evident in the gentleness of his voice. “I thought we had everything worked out between us.”

“Is that what you call it?” He really wanted to know? Then fine. She’d tell him. “I call it ignoring the big pink elephant in the middle of the room.”

But that wasn’t the only reason she’d been crying. It seemed in the past few days that everything she cared about was disintegrating.

“Kayla, talk to me.”

His phone chimed. Saved by the bell so to speak. He checked the caller ID and then held up a finger for her to wait. He straightened and moved to the window, where he took the call.

This was her chance to escape his inevitable interrogation. She didn’t know where she would go. Suddenly gelato sounded divine. So what if she was wallowing in her own misery? She deserved some sugary comfort—until she figured out what to do next.

She moved to her room to splash some water on her face, repair her makeup and grab her purse. When she was ready to go, there was a knock at her door. She knew it was Angelo. She sighed. Why couldn’t he just leave well enough alone?

“Kayla, we need to talk.”