In the tunnels.

Mikey and Tony come to a dead end.

Mikey   What?

Tony   It’s blocked. Fallen in.

Mikey   Are we going to die here?

Tony   No. We just need to go back. There’ll be a way out.

Mikey   Right. Sure.

Do you have anything to eat?

I feel a bit …

Tony   Polo?

Mikey   Do you know what’s nice?

The quiet.

They listen.

Tone.

Don’t you have a phone?

Tony   No.

Mikey   What’s that like?

Tony   I don’t know. I just never have. I suppose with my mum things have rather passed me by.

I did once go on Facebook.

But to be honest it was all rather …

Mikey   What?

Tony   Well, seeing the people from school; partners, kids. I dunno.

I suppose. It can make you feel lonely.

Mikey   Yeah.

You know I was actually on a date tonight.

Tony   Oh right. Good?

Mikey   I stood him up.

Tony   I see.

Mikey   Oh. Him. I said him.

I’ve never said that before.

I’ve always thought …

Well. It just came out.

Tony   Maybe it’s the effect of being deep underground.

The Agathus effect.

Mikey   Yeah!

Sorry. Only …

He is crying, suddenly overwhelmed.

Tony   That’s okay.

Mikey   I wanted to tell my mum.

But it’s like there’s this thing inside. And whenever I try I just …

It chokes me up.

Tony   I used to get that. Lecturing. Even when no one came.

A sort of tightening up?

Mikey   Yeah.

I mean, it’s happening a bit now.

Tony   Maybe you just need to practise.

Mikey   What?

Tony   Well, saying it out loud.

Mikey   Right.

Tony   Go on then.

Mikey   What? To you?

Tony   Unless …

Yes.

Mikey   What do I say?

Tony  

I’m gay?

Mikey   Me too!

Tony   No. No. I was being you.

Mikey   Oh right.

I’m gay.

Tony   Mum.

Mikey   Mum, I’m gay.

Tony   That’s it. Sounds good.

Mikey   Mum, I’m gay.

I’m a big gay goose.

Tony   I’m as gay as you like.

Mikey   I’m a goosey gay gander.

Tony   Like a lovely old mop.

Mikey   Like the top of a tree, waving in the wind. Somewhere on a mountainside.

That’s me, Mum.

That’s me inside.

She’ll be alright.

Tony   Of course she will.

Mikey   I liked your mum.

She was fun.

Tony   Was she?

Mikey   She used to let me play with her fridge magnets when I was little.

Tony   Oh, yeah. The strawberry and that big shoe.

Mikey   She had all the alphabet too.

Tony   Really? She must’ve got that for you.

Wasn’t there when I was a kid.

Mikey   I sometimes hid in her kitchen. Spelled out rude words.

Your mum would do them too.

Tony   Mum? No.

Mikey   Had a filthy mouth on her.

Tony   She was always so strict with me.

Mikey   People change when they get old.

He hears something, calming and peaceful and far away.

What’s that?

Tony can’t hear anything.

Tony   What?

Mikey   That song. It’s beautiful.

Mikey is getting woozy.

I like you, Tony.

Glad you’re here.

Sorry I called you a paedo.

Feel a bit … weird … though …

Mikey faints. Tony catches him.

Tony   Michael?

Mikey!