Sienna watches, her face going red. I smile at her and focus on her. Her eyes water, then she storms in. “What the fuck, V!”
The girl pops off my cock and looks at Sienna at the same time my phone rings. I look at my phone and see a winky face from Danya. Fuckers set this up.
“Get out,” I tell the girl.
“But ... you’re still hard,” she complains. “Tell her to get out.”
“Go,” I order again.
She huffs and walks out. Sienna shoves me. “You asshole!”
“Sienna-”
“You can’t tell me you want me, call me sexy, defend me, and drag up old shit then have some other girl ...” she seems to realize what she’s saying. She takes a step back and something dark and terrible covers her eyes.
“Two can do this, Lev.” She says in a hostile whisper. “Karik told me I could take my top off if you weren’t around. I might not be the prettiest girl. I might not be the sluttiest, but I can get a man to fuck me.”
“Sienna, if you walk out that door, I will spank your ass purple!” I yell.
She freezes, then shuts the door. She looks at me defiantly, furious. Turning around, she pulls off her bikini bottoms, flashing her bare ass. She spreads her legs and bends over, arching her back at me.
“That’s the rule you’re going to break?”
“Get dressed,” I growl.
Instead, she kicks her bikini bottoms away, then takes off her top. “Want me to leave now? Want to find me sucking some random guy’s dick?”
I blink a few times. My head is spinning. The girl of my fucking dreams is naked in front of me, her full breasts on display, gorgeous hips, thick thighs, not to mention that little heart of ginger hair above her slit. How am I supposed to speak when I want to get on my knees and lick every inch of her?
“Answer me!” She yells.
“Are you jealous?” I ask.
She bites her bottom lip, scoffs, and gets dressed. I close the space between us, putting one palm against the door so she can’t leave. I’m not touching her, but she’s stopped fumbling with her top.
We stare at one another for a long time.
“I’m not fucking jealous of you,” she hisses.
“I didn’t say jealous of me,” I lower my voice. “Are you drunk?”
She stumbles a little and pokes my chest. “You are how I thought you were.”
“I can’t come without thinking of you,” I say. “It’s been that way since before I ... took you.”
She faces me. I can’t read the emotions that play across her face. “Yes. I’m drunk. Because for some reason, that sounded nice.”
“I’m not a nice person.”
“Obviously,” she huffs.
“Neither are you, Sienna. You’re jaded, hold grudges, drive me fucking insane. You’re vindictive as hell. And you like knowing that I can’t come without thinking of you. You like knowing that I’ll choose you instead of some girl giving me a blow job. You enjoy torturing me,” I accuse.
“Yeah,” she whimpers. “You fucked me up so much.”
“We’re both fucked up, Sólnyshka. Everyone is. God, if you weren’t drunk right now,” I groan, leaning closer. “I want to kiss you, want to taste your favorite drink. I want to show you the kind of sex you should be enjoying instead of settling for shit that doesn’t get you off.”
“I ... I want ...” she says, staring at me. Then she blinks a few times. “I need to lie down.”
Sighing, I shake my head. “Can I touch you to help you?”
She nods once. “Just tonight. Just to help.”
I pick her up and walk through the door to my favorite showers. Of course, the room is empty. I have rules. I set Sienna down and turn on the water. She gasps as the cold spray soaks her. I sit down beside her and stuff my cock back in my swim trunks.
She’s drunk which means nothing is happening tonight.
I take Sienna’s hands. “Talk to me, Sienna.”
“You’re an ass,” she murmurs.
“I know.”
“I don’t want to want you. I want to hate you. You’re terrible and ... and if I don’t hate you then ...” she sucks her bottom lip and opens her gorgeous eyes, always more green than brown.
I brush her hair off her face. “Then what, baby?”
“You’ll hurt me all over again, V. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I wanna trust people. I want to forgive people. I wanna ... fix ...”
I catch her as she slumps over and lift her head. “Sienna! Sienna, wake up. Wake up.”
Her eyes open and she stares up at me. She smiles. “Is this a dream?”
“Yes,” I say.
“Nope,” she taps my nose. “When I dream of you, there’s no scars or tattoos. You’re nice and sweet. You bring me daisies and sunflowers and apologize.”
“Is that so?”
She nods and nuzzles my neck. “Then you fuck me hard in the middle of the garden, always touching me ... gentle hands. No fighting.”
“Stay awake, Sienna.”
“I like how you say my name. Like a song.”
“What else do you like?” I ask, abusing the situation.
“I like V ... not Lev. You’re not a Lev. You’re Vasily,” she sighs. “I see stars.”
I look around, then see she’s staring at my knees. She touches one. “Tattoos are secrets. You have so many. So much pain. Why do you hurt?”
I turn her chin so she faces me. “You’re going to have a terrible headache in the morning.”
“I lost my shirt,” she pouts. “Danya took it. He used to have a crush on me, you know? He’s nicer than you.”
Of course he is because he hides all his kills. Just like Ed. That’s why she spent all night with them, laughing, smiling, enjoying herself. She doesn’t do that with me. My brows furrow. “Sienna, I want to make you happy.”
She mimics a buzzer. “You just want to fuck me and spank me and make me beg. You shoulda kissed me before asking me why I hated you. I woulda done it.”
I walk to the sauna, grab my tank top, and pull it over her chest. I pick her up, making her groan, and carry her to her room. I adjust her in my arms, grab a towel, lay it down, then put Sienna in bed.
She moans when I leave and takes my hand. “I’d kiss you now.”
“No, Sólnyshka. When you kiss me, it will be while sober and because you can’t wait another moment to kiss me. I don’t want you to regret it,” I mumble. “You can sleep now. I’m right here.”
“No blow jobs in my room,” she grumbles.
I rub her back as she rolls onto her belly. I smile. “Were you jealous?”
“You wanted her and not me.”
“I didn’t. I always want you but it isn’t easy when you don’t reciprocate. Everyone else is a placeholder for you,” I say before kissing her temple. “I won’t touch anyone else knowing that you care as long as you are here. Tease me all you want, you’re the only woman I want to touch.”
* * *
I make Annik bring Sienna juice, Advil, and breakfast. She needs to get through her hangover. Of course, all traces of the party are already cleaned up. I look at my phone and see a picture of Sienna kissing Ed’s cheek, hugging him.
Another one of Danya holding her chin, just inches from her mouth. Jealousy tightens my stomach. They’re using her against me. I know that. If she gets attached to them, even as friends, they’re going to break her just like I did.
All I can hope is that she blacked out, and she doesn’t remember a thing from last night. She shared so much with me, but I don’t want her ashamed of flashing her naked body (the only thing I need to come for my own hand apparently). I don’t want her to remember what she walked in on.
An hour later, I dismiss the staff for the day. Karik already warned me that Sienna’s got plenty of plans to piss me off. Best if that’s done when others aren’t around.
But she comes downstairs in a top and skirt, looking gorgeous. Her hair is wild and everywhere, but it’s her and that’s all that matters.
“I was stupid last night,” she whispers.
“How much do you remember?”
“All of it,” she rubs her forehead. “I’ve never blacked out, but I got stupid.”
“Are you angry with me?” I ask.
“I shouldn’t have been jealous. You’re not my boyfriend. You can get whatever you want from whoever you want.”
“No, I can’t,” I say, staring at her with blatant frustration.
Instead of rising to the challenge, she blushes and plays with her fingers. “Can you scrub last night from your memory?”
“Absolutely not. I got to see you naked, got to hold you, and we had a productive conversation. I want all those memories.”
“They’re messy and terrible.”
“I like the messy parts of life and it’s fucking obvious that I like you or Danya wouldn’t have sent you to me,” I grumble.
She bites her bottom lip and walks to me. She sits next to me and stares into my eyes. “I hate that you’re sweet and then an ass. If you were a monster to everyone else, but good to me, I could stand it. But you don’t get to just dismiss shit because you don’t like it with me. That’s the only way we can move forward.”
“Thought you didn’t want to.”
“It’s the only way you get through this without me punching you again,” she revises. When I smirk, she points at my dick. “I didn’t say where I’d punch. That’s the only head that’s important to you.”
“You’re after my heart with threats like that,” I chuckle. “Let me guess, shopping again? Going to punish me by stripping and not letting me touch?”
“No,” she says.
“What’s the torture for the day?” I ask.
“I need a shower and you showed me the best shower in the house last night,” she says.
“Sienna,” I groan.
She walks there, but I grab her shirt and pull her onto my lap, so she’s facing away. She gasps. “Your no-touching rule is bullshit.”
“You didn’t read between the lines with that comment,” I say as I feel her up, cupping her breasts. “I behaved with you last night. Didn’t touch, kept you safe-”
“You were ... decent,” she pants, arching into my hands. “You don’t get a reward for doing the bare minimum.”
I groan and press my forehead to her shoulder. I pinch her nipple through her shirt and she lets out a whimper. I stroke down her belly and grip her skirt in my hand while still tugging her nipple.
“You should wear shorts,” I growl.
“Touching my pussy is a privilege you haven’t earned,” she replies as her head falls over my shoulder. “Let go, Lev.”
“V,” I whisper in her ear. “You like ‘V’ remember?”
She moans and her thighs spread. I almost take the bait, almost slide my hands over her panties, rub her clit, give her a hint of what I could give her, but I release her. It makes my whole body ache with need.
“You only get to call me that when we’re alone,” I pant.
She gets up, looks at me, eyes my hard-on, then swallows. “Did you mean it?”
“I meant everything I said last night.”
“About not touching anyone else while I’m here?” she clarifies.
“Da.”
“But you’re going to give me up, aren’t you?” She asks.
“I don’t want to,” I answer.
She swallows and nods before wrapping her arms around herself. “At least you’re half honest this time.”