In the morning, I feel like I’ve run a marathon. I still remember the nightmare of Vasily trying to meet with me for a date or something else and getting shot because he was focused on me. Having his blood on my hands, all over me, unable to get it off. Then being taken, losing everything to monsters that have too many shapes to count.
Rolling over, I find him there, sleeping peacefully. I move my foot, pressing my toes to his ankle. It’s small, stupid, but it’s a reminder that he’s real. In my dreams, I can never feel my feet.
Someone knocks on the door and I jump, pulling the sheet over my head.
V speaks in quick Russian and the person answers before leaving us in silence. I exhale and V laughs before joining me under the sheets. He gives me a questioning look. “Are you ashamed to be found in my room?”
“No, it’s just ... I’m naked,” I whisper, like it’s a secret.
He chuckles and cups my cheek. Before he can kiss me, I push the sheet in his face and run to his bathroom.
After we both brush, he fucks me right there, like he can’t keep his hands off me. We have breakfast on the terrace, saying almost nothing, but he moves closer, taking my hand and playing with it.
I change into shorts and one of the sexy lingerie tops I got, just to tease him. I put on a jacket, knowing that Vasily wants to take me out. He has a plan.
Which is ruined the second he sees me. He groans, looks me over, and shakes his head. “You’re not going out like that.”
“No?” I ask.
“Absolutely not. I’d have to blind so many people. I’d have to ...” he looks down.
He’s hard and his slacks don’t hide a single thing. “Please, Sienna, put on a shirt.”
“So that way, you know I’m wearing this all day?”
We don’t make it out of the house. He orders the staff to leave while staring at me, panting. The second they’re out the door, I try to run from that predatory glint in his eyes, but to my joy, he catches me right against the door. He drags down my shorts and underwear and fucks me right there, pulling my hair, palming my breasts, ripping the top off me. It makes me wild. It ruins me.
He punishes me by not letting me come at all. Every time I’m close, he stops. Then he puts me on my knees. I pant up at him, wet, wild, trying to fight the urge to touch myself. “Vasily.”
He arches an eyebrow at me. “Yes or no.”
My eyes dip to his cock and I wrap my lips around the head. He pulls away. “Use your words.”
“Yes, V. Please.”
He grips my hair and fucks my mouth. It’s different from a blowjob. I realize that. He slams into my mouth again and again until his pace calms. So I ramp him back up, taking him fast, taking him all the way down my throat, slurping, and licking.
Vasily groans, tightens his hold on my hair, then releases. He groans as he comes down my throat, his eyes rolling back as his abs shudder. I lick along his length, then focus on the head, continuing to suck before I swallow.
I lick the tip again, eyes on him as he hisses and looks down at me.
I pop off him and smile. “It must be really good lingerie.”
He shakes his head. “It’s you, Sólnyshka.”
V kisses me, pressing me back to the door before thrusting his fingers inside me. My lips part against his and he sucks in the breath that leaves my lungs. “Good girls get to come.”
And he follows through, fingering me with a clear focus. When I come apart, he kisses me again and again.
The rest of that day we spend together. I show him my favorite movies, we talk, and we just exist together in the best way. I’ve never seen him laugh or smile so much. I didn’t know he was capable of it, but I kiss every smile he gives me, run from him when he gets all growly and demanding so the sex is hotter, and by the time the sun sets, we watch it from the second-floor terrace. I sigh and rub his bare chest.
“Will you ever tell me what your tattoos mean?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “It could get you into trouble.”
“With your people or the law?”
“Both. The law ... well, if you knowingly help me, you could go away, Sienna.” His brow furrows. “I learned that early.”
His fingers move through mine. I want to believe I can live with that. I do. I want to give what V and I have a chance, but it’s easy to believe we can work when we’re in his mansion. When he’s taking me shopping and standing up for me and when he’s supporting me at work. But outside of this setup, is it even possible?
I know it’s better to focus on the now. It’s better not to think about what’s waiting for us, but I’ve never been able to just live in the moment.
Resting my head on his shoulder, I sigh. “You have a beautiful home.”
“Are you going to stay?”
Looks like I’m not the only one who can’t stop thinking about the future.
“I want to. I’ve removed the time limit. Seems kind of pointless now, but ...” I collect my thoughts. “How does this work outside of our situation? Can I tell my best friend about you–not the mafia stuff–but you at all? Or is even your name too bad?”
His fingertips stroke mine. “I don’t know. This is new to me.”
“New?”
“I haven’t considered dating anyone since I was brought into all of this. I’m willing to take the risk. You can always say you don’t know, Sólnyshka. Why would I ever tell you? You have an innocent face. The police I don’t have on payroll and the feds I can’t control will believe you.”
Could I sacrifice him like that?
“I’ll do things you don’t approve of. I am a killer. I’m no stranger to how brutal life can be. Maybe I’m the reason that Miami is so brutal. I’m not trying to scare you, but I promised I wouldn’t lie.”
“I appreciate that,” I whisper.
“Do you want to try this, to continue seeing me, to be mine outside of this house?”
His eyes stare into mine like he can find the answer before I say it. Is it stupid? Is it a recipe for disaster? Is it wrong? “Yes.”
He kisses me with a softness he hasn’t shown me yet. His tongue brushes mine, then he softens and presses his forehead to mine. “Are you teasing me? Fishing for punishment?”
“No, Vasily. I want to try this.”
We linger there as I consider what I just said over and over again. V doesn’t push for more sex that night, but in the morning, I notice no one is here, not even the chef. Not even V.
I enjoy myself. Then my phone buzzes. I pick up for Lindsey. “Hey!”
“What the hell happened with Fernanda? I was hoping to see you today,” she says, the pout obvious in her voice.
“I ... quit,” I say, not sure what else to say. “With my friend’s help.”
“What kind of friend are we talking about? Because I heard about a sexy guy with golden skin, a scary face, sunglasses, and a suit. Then a bunch of shooting.”
“Yeah, unfortunately, the shooting was real,” I murmur. “Some gang activity or something.”
“You weren’t hurt?” she asks.
“No. I’d already left.”
“With the scary, yet sexy, guy?” She laughs. “Well, spill!”
“We were friends as kids and he saved me from a terrible situation while catering. He’s paying me to do the photography I want to do and he has rich friends,” I hint.
“Please set me up!” She begs. “Please. I need someone who can at least pay me for my time, since everyone only sees me as a pretty face.”
“You know you’re more than that.”
“More than what?” V asks, scaring me. He smirks. “Did I scare you?”
“You couldn’t scare me if you tried,” I goad. Then I speak to Lindsey. “Can I call you back?”
“If it means you’re getting laid, yes.”
I hang up on her teasing. V sits beside me and strokes up my leg. “I’m sorry I left you all alone.”
“I can handle being alone,” I dismiss with a shrug.
“Oh, so it’s better than my company? I see how I rank.” He gets up, but I take his hand. He looks at my fingers on him and sits back down. “As much fun as yesterday was, I’d like to show you off.”
“Oh yeah?”
“You’re my girlfriend, aren’t you?”
“So you’re going to show me off like a new watch?” I snort.
“I was thinking more like showing off the woman that can hold a devil in a choke hold,” he purrs before kissing the inside of my wrist.
“But I’ve never choked you.”
He takes my hand and puts it on his throat, wrapping my fingers around him. “Press your fingers deep to cut off blood flow, just like I did to you last night. Press this part,” he traces from my thumb to my index finger, “against my throat to cut off my air.”
I don’t do either. I just stare at him. He drops his hand from mine and I reach around to grab the back of his neck and kiss him. V groans and grabs my hips, pulling me onto his lap. I slide both hands into his hair, tugging and trying to take control of our kiss.
He grabs my wrists, holds them behind my back, and draws back. “I gave you a chance to choke me.”
“I don’t want it,” I say, surprised at how honest the words are. “I want you alive, with me.”
He kisses me again, cupping the back of my head. “You’re more dangerous than I am.”
“Impossible. I don’t know how to use a single weapon.”
“You don’t need one,” he says before kissing me again.
I giggle and push against his chest. “I thought we were going out. I’m dressed appropriately and everything.”
“We are,” he assures me. “Under my terms. If I want to fuck you and you want to be fucked, why shouldn’t we?”
I open my mouth to answer him, to explain why it’s wrong, but I can’t figure out why. Why would it be wrong to go at it constantly, to lose myself in him all day? He nods. “Exactly. The world becomes much more fun when you ignore the rules of society and do what you want.”
“I want to do some photography. And then we can go to some clubs, bars, whatever you want.”
“I might have people to meet,” he says against my ear, nipping the lobe. “Bad people.”
“Salinas?”
“Perhaps he’ll be there.”
“No more guns, please. Please, V. I’ll beg, I’ll crawl across the floor, I’ll ...”
“Shh,” he kisses my cheek. “I’ll try to avoid guns. At the very least, I’ll make sure you aren’t there. You can wear almost anything you please. No lingerie.”
“But something sexy?” I ask.
“Of course,” he kisses my neck, taking his time. “But photography first. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two.”
“Haven’t I already?” I ask while stroking his chest and kissing along his scar. “You’ve gotten so good at being gentle with me.”
“Maybe that’s how I’ll get you to admit you like being spanked.”
“Keep hoping,” I tease.