Chapter 8

Ren woke with a start. His heart was beating very fast, and his sheets were soaked with sweat. He had been dreaming, but it wasn’t that dream. It felt real. It felt like it was a warning or something. He dreamt it was nighttime, and he was on the beach, alone, staring at the ocean and having a few beers. Then he could sense there was a light behind him. He turned around, and there was a fire coming across the sand behind him and on his right and his left. He stood up and turned to head into the water to swim down the beach away from this fire, and he saw the ocean was also on fire in front of him. He didn’t know what to do. He called out for help but couldn’t hear anything over the roaring flames. He kept turning to each direction to find a way out, but the flames kept getting closer and closer. He screamed, “Please help me!” and he woke up. What the heck was that about? he said to himself. This is a strange feeling. It seems like this means something, but I don’t believe in all of that prophecy crap my mom kept talking about. The idea that some old guy is sitting in the clouds directing our lives does not make any sense to me. I run my own life. I control what happens to me. Ain’t trusting no geriatric guy in a long robe, he said to himself confidently. As he stood up, he stripped the sheets off of his bed and threw them in the hamper in the corner of his room. He knew that Carol, their housekeeper, would replace them when she made his bed this afternoon. It is great to provide work for others, he told himself. It must be good for their self-esteem to be able to provide a service to others. Besides, I sure ain’t making no bed for anyone. That ain’t my jam, he told himself with a smile.

Ren wandered into the kitchen to get some juice and a bagel. He noticed the expresso machine was used this morning. Looks like dad is gone already. Good for me, he told himself with confidence. As he flopped on the couch, he flicked on the TV. Just then, his phone buzzed. He looked down to see a text from Kyle. “Weekend plans are not happening. Coach is mad at us for blowing our game last night, so he called practice for Saturday and Sunday. What a jerk! Sorry, dude, we are grounded.” That is just great! Now, what am I supposed to do? he said to himself. I know I can’t sit around this dump all weekend. I am young, and I gotta be out with my people, he said smugly to himself. Well, Jimmy, it looks like we are taking a little drive, Ren said to himself as he called his driver.

“Jimmy, I need you to pick me up and take me to Fresno State University,” Ren commanded. “Yes, I know it is over 200 miles. Yes, I know that the I-5 is usually backed up. That is why we need to leave now,” Ren ordered.

Twenty minutes later, Ren heard the horn of the Q7. “It is about time!” Ren muttered as he climbed into the back seat of the Audi. Take me to the athletic office at Fresno State,” Ren instructed as Jimmy pulled onto the busy street heading North to the I-5. “Why do I put up with this crap from these snot-nosed ungrateful kids? Jimmy said to himself. Oh yeah, it is because of my rent of $2,500 for a tiny one-bedroom apartment with bars on my windows. Welcome to California! Jimmy told himself sadly. I should have stayed in Texas, he reminded himself.

Half an hour into the trip, Ren dosed off and was awakened by Jimmy as they pulled onto campus. “What time is your appointment?” Jimmy asked. “I don’t need an appointment. This is Coach Simpson’s lucky day,” Ren replied.

Ren walked into the athletic center and asked the guard where Coach Simpson’s office was. “Up the escalator and the second office on the right,” the guard replied. “Do you have an appointment?” he inquired. “Nope,” Ren replied as he hurried up the escalator.

Ren found the office and walked in to see a receptionist staring back at him. “Can I help you?” she asked. “Just need to see Coach,” Ren replied. “Do you have an appointment?” she questioned. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Ren retorted. “No, I do not have an appointment, but Coach will want to see me,” Ren reassured her. “Sorry, sir, but Coach Simpson is very busy. I could possibly get you in on Tuesday,” she offered. “Ma’am, I need to talk to Coach today. I drove over 200 miles to talk to him,” Ren responded. “Sorry, sir, but he is not in the office at the moment,” she responded as the door opened and Coach Simpson walked into the reception area. “Coach Simpson, could I speak to you for a moment?” Ren asked. “Sorry, sir, I was just explaining to this young man that you were booked up today,” the receptionist interjected. “It is okay, Julie. How can I help you?” Coach asked. “It is more how I can help you,” Ren replied. “Well, if you are here to help me, come into my office and enlighten me. I have fifteen minutes until my next call. Let’s see what you have to offer,” Coach offered.

Ren followed Coach Simpson into his office. He looked around at the trophy case and the pictures on the wall of the great players that had come through Fresno State. “Have a seat,” Coach offered as he pointed to the two leather chairs in front of the mahogany wood desk. Ren settled into a chair and looked up at the coach. “Sir, I am Ren Carter. Perhaps you have heard of me,” Ren stated. “Yes, I have heard of you. Great arm, excellent runner, above average field vision, above average pre-snap reads of the defense,” Coach responded as Ren grinned. “Poor teammate, below average game management, history of off-field issues,” Coach continued as the smile left Ren’s face. “Coach, I threw for over 4,100 yards and seventy-two touchdowns this season!” Ren shared. “Yes, and you were arrested once, suspended twice,” Coach reminded him. Actually, just suspended for the third time, Ren thought to himself. “Son, you have talent, but there is more to football than just talent. As the quarterback, you need to be a leader. The rest of the team needs to trust that you know what to do and that you will lead them to victory,” Coach Simpson explained. “Isn’t that your job?” Ren asked. “The coaching staff’s job is to prepare the team to be ready for the game. We design a game plan that will help the team be in the best position to win. But it is up to the players to follow that plan and to make the plays. Without a leader on the field, the team will not win. Plain and simple,” Coach responded. “As you know, we inquired into you and looked at recruiting you for next season. What we heard over and over again is that you were talented but selfish. Yes, you had seventy-two touchdowns, but how many were from you running the ball yourself instead of passing to a teammate?” Coach asked. “I had thirty-four rushing touchdowns, but that is because my teammates could not catch, so I had to run, and I put up great numbers, didn’t I?” Ren explained. “That is exactly the attitude that we were told about. Son, a true leader cannot only think of himself. He needs to make those around him better, and then the whole team is better,” Coach responded. “We almost won the state championship, didn’t we?” Ren said. “Yes, your talent allowed you to reach that game, but you did not work as a team, so you fell short,” Coach reminded him. “So how about if I come here next year and you show me how to lead? I will be better than Derek Carr was here,” Ren asked. “Sorry, son, but we are set for this year. Perhaps you could find a JUCO program that you could work with to help you grow. Honestly, this may sound strange, but you need God in your life. It appears that you have some hurts that need mending. Joining a big program like ours would not help you learn more about yourself. Then you can become the leader you need to be. As for Derek, he understood that it was not about him; it was about the team. He had great numbers, but that was not the focus. He knew that the team being successful was much more important than him putting up amazing numbers,” Coach added. “God? What does He have to do with football?” Ren exclaimed. “Nothing. But God has everything to do with helping each of us become who we are designed to be. Without His help, we will all fall short,” Coach explained. “Whatever!” Ren said as he stood up. “Coach, you will see that I will join a team, and we will destroy the teams we play. You will regret not offering me a chance to show you,” Ren continued. “Son, I truly hope that you get a chance to show yourself what you can become. Start there, and don’t worry about everyone else,” Coach said as Ren reached the door of his office.

Ren left Coach’s office and hurried past the receptionist. The nerve of that guy. Who does he think he is to tell me that I need God to make me better? I am perfect right now. I don’t need no God or anyone to change me. Mom fell for that baloney, but not me. I am my own man, and I control my life. Ain’t letting no hypocrites tell me what to do, Ren said to himself as he walked to the back door of the Q7. “Take me home,” Ren ordered to Jimmy. “I am done with this place,” he added.