Chapter 25

Next was the first game of the year. The team was traveling to Tulsa for the first game of the year. Both Ren and Isaac, along with the rest of the third and fourth strings, were not included on the travel team for week one. This worked out for Ren because it meant that he had the weekend off and was able to head home to attend the Celebration of Life party for Kyle. I miss him. He would have had a ball here, Ren said to himself as he parked his Camaro at the airport. Ren headed to the private plane section of the airport to board his NetJets flight to Santa Monica. Jimmy would be waiting at that airport for him to arrive. The flight west was uneventful, which gave Ren time to catch up on his homework and continue studying the playbook. Ren enjoyed flying in the Embraer Phenom. It was crazy fast and extremely comfortable. “There are some really cool plays in here. I cannot wait to run them,” Ren said as he kept reviewing the team’s playbook.

After two and a half hours, the jet gently touched down in Santa Monica. Ren glanced out at the sun shining brightly. It is good to be home, he said to himself. Ren grabbed his backpack and jogged down the steps of the plane onto the tarmac. As he exited the airport, he found Jimmy waiting in his Audi Q7 outside. Ren jumped in for the short drive to Ren’s house. As he got out, he looked at his phone. “It is half past twelve now. I need you to pick me up at four o’clock to go to the party this evening. Got it?” Ren instructed his driver. “Got it, sir,” Jimmy replied.

Ren got out and headed up the steps to their home. Ren shut down the alarm and unlocked the front door, closing it behind him. “Dad,” Ren called out. “That figures. Not here as usual,” Ren said dejectedly. As he walked down the hallway toward his room, he noticed that the light in his dad’s room was on, and the door was slightly open. That is strange; Dad always turns off the lights and shut his door. He must have been in a hurry, Ren thought to himself. Ren slowly opened the door to see if his dad was in there, but no one was there. As he began to close the door, Ren noticed a large cardboard box sitting by the large walk-in closet. There was something about that box, so Ren crossed across his dad’s bedroom to take a look at it. Carefully, Ren opened the top flaps on the box and peered inside. At first, he was confused by what he thought he saw but then realized what it was. In the box were dozens upon dozens of letters and cards from his mom. “What the heck?” Ren said out loud. He fell to the floor and stayed focused on the contents of this box. Ren grabbed handfuls of envelopes and looked at the dates on them. They went back to when he was eight years old, and none of them looked like they were ever opened. Why does Dad have all of these letters? Ren thought. Ren carefully tore open the first letter that he found. “Dear Ren, I miss you so much. I tried calling several times, but your dad would tell me you were asleep or out somewhere. This is so hard for me. I love you so much. Please reach out to me. I need to hear your voice. Remember that I love you. Mom,” the letter read. This was dated six months after she left. Dad said he never heard from her. This does not make sense. He grabbed another one. “Happy 12th birthday. I dreamt about you last night. I felt God was telling me that you were doing okay and that you were special. I miss you so much. This hurts more than you could imagine. Please call me. I can’t get your dad to answer my calls anymore. I hope you have a great birthday. Wish I was there. Love, Mom.” I don’t understand. Ren lay back on the floor, staring at the ceiling. What do I do? Ren felt the floor, looking for his phone. Once he found it, he called Isaac’s number. “Hello,” Isaac answered. “Dude, you are not going to believe what I just found. My dad has a big box of letters and cards and gifts from my mom. He has been hiding them from me for all of these years,” Ren told his roommate. Isaac could almost hear the tears in his roommate’s voice. “I am so sorry,” Isaac replied. “I cannot imagine what you are going through right now,” Isaac continued. “Did you ask your dad about them?” Isaac asked. “He is not here, and I don’t think I could face him right now. I have hated my mom for leaving and never coming back for ten years. Now to find out that it was all a lie? I am so done right now,” Ren said sadly. “It will be okay. This is sad but actually a happy thing. The mom you thought you lost forever you can actually reconnect with now. God is opening a door for you to release the hate you held in your heart and be free from that pain you held on to,” Isaac reassured him. “Reconnect? How would I find her?” Ren asked. “Find the latest letter and see if there is a return address,” Isaac suggested. “Good idea,” Ren replied with a small part of hope in his voice. “Looks like St. Louis, Missouri. Wonder how far that is from Iowa,” Ren said. “That is the next state down. It is seven or eight hours away. We went there when my aunt died,” Isaac shared. He did not bring up the news about the free zoo. Did not think that was very important at this moment.

“Isaac, I really feel lost right now. Everything I thought I knew now I find out it was all a lie. What do I do now?” Ren said dejectedly. “What time is the celebration for your friend?” Isaac asked. “Oh, no. It starts in like thirty minutes. I got so caught up in this that I forgot that is why I am here. I can’t go. I am too much of a mess to go and see his family,” Ren reported. “Actually, I think you need to go. You need to be around people that love you, and it will get your mind off of this. We will figure this out. You are not alone,” Isaac reassured him. “Thank you. Why are you doing this? Why would you care about a messed-up person like me? I have been a jerk to you; why would you care?” Ren asked. “Why did you call me?” Isaac asked. “You are a decent person who I felt would be there for anyone who would ask. I felt I could trust you to not judge me or hang up on me,” Ren replied. “I hope I am a decent person, but no matter what, I would not hang up on you,” Isaac shared. “You must think I am a loser for having such a messed-up life. Not one that is perfect like yours,” Ren mentioned. “Perfect? Are you kidding me? You have no idea how messed up my life and I are,” Isaac replied. “When you get back here, we can talk about all of that. Right now, you need to get up and go celebrate your friend. Then you need to talk to your dad,” Isaac suggested. “You are probably right. Thanks,” Ren relented. “Can I call you later?” he added. “Call me anytime. I will be praying for you. Talk to you soon,” Isaac shared as he hung up. Ren started to say something but realized it felt good to know he was going to pray for him. “God, at this point, I don’t know if You are real or not. If You are real, I do need some help,” Ren said hesitantly, not knowing what would happen next. Ren kind of froze there for a minute or so. Not sure if a lightning bolt would come at him or thunder or what. Finally, he got up from the floor and got ready. Jimmy would be here soon to pick him up.

As Jimmy pulled up to Kyle’s house, Ren noticed that there were several cars parked outside. He got out of the Audi and walked up through the gate into the courtyard where the celebration was being held. He had not been here since the night he found out about Kyle. “Kyle, I do miss you. I could really use your advice right now,” Ren said quietly. Then his quiet conversation was interrupted by someone yelling, “Ren!” As he looked over, he saw Kyle’s mom heading his way. She gave him a big hug. “I am so happy you made it. How is college?” Sheila asked him. “It is fine,” Ren replied. “Enjoying your classes?” she asked. “They are okay. Only taking the basic courses this first semester,” Ren explained. “How is football? Make any friends?” she followed up one after another. “It is fun. The coaches are great. I have been hanging out mainly with my roommate. He is a good guy. Not Kyle, but a good guy,” Ren answered. “Well, this is not another Kyle. He was special,” Sheila agreed sadly. For a moment, both stood there quietly, reflecting on memories of Kyle. “Well, come over and say hi to everyone. We are just sharing stories,” Sheila said as she grabbed Ren’s hand and led him over to where the group was sitting. The courtyard was set up perfectly for a California evening. Several outdoor sofas and chairs encircled a firepit. The firepit was used more for light than for heat. It created a comfortable vibe. “Everyone, this is Ren. He was Kyle’s best friend since they were eight or nine,” Sheila announced to everyone. As Ren looked around, Sheila introduced each family in attendance. There were her sister, Rachelle, and her family and her brother, Tony, and his family. Also were Sheila’s aunt and four cousins. Ren could not remember all of their names. He was having a hard time concentrating anyway. As Ren sat down, another round of stories about Kyle started. They ranged from the funny way he crawled sideways when he was little to when he fell off his bike and scratched the side of his face the night before school pictures to when he made the varsity soccer team. Ren learned a lot about his friend that night. He sat there thinking about how Kyle would be upset that everyone was sharing his embarrassing moments. Though it seemed to be good for everyone to focus on the life he lived instead of his death. As the evening wound down, Ren stood up and said that he needed to get back because he had an early flight the next morning. “Oh, yeah, you need to get back to school. When do you start your season?” Sheila’s brother asked. “Actually, the team started today. Since I was late in getting on campus, I did not travel with the team this week,” Ren replied. I wonder if we won, he thought to himself. I cannot believe I forgot about our first game. I guess there has been a lot going on today, he thought to himself sullenly. “Let me walk you out,” Sheila offered. “Thank you so much for coming. I really appreciate it,” she said as they walked toward the gate. “I am glad I made it,” Ren replied. “Is there something else bothering you?” she asked. “Why?” Ren answered. “Just a mother’s intuition,” she replied. “Well, yes, but I did not want to bring it up tonight,” Ren answered. He then gave her the short version of finding the letters and how he could not believe his dad would do that and how he had hated his mom for leaving and now didn’t know what happened. As Ren finished his explanation, he noticed that Sheila had a tear in her eye. “I am so sorry. No boy should ever have to find that out. I never met your mom; she was gone when we moved here. I never wanted to pry because Kyle said you were still upset about her leaving. I had just lost my husband, so our lives were in turmoil too. I feel so sorry for you. Are you okay?” she asked as she wiped away tears from her eyes. Ren leaned against the stucco wall that held the courtyard gate. “Honestly, I don’t know. It has been such a shock; I don’t know how to feel yet,” Ren responded. “Would you mind if we prayed for you? Kyle had mentioned that you were not a believer and always shut him down when he would mention God. Would you mind us praying?” Sheila asked carefully. Ren thought back and did not recall Kyle talking about God. Maybe he was afraid to because I put it down so much, Ren thought to himself. “That would be fine,” Ren replied. “Aunt Betty, come here, please,” Sheila called out. Ren looked over to see the elderly woman amble over to where they were standing with a curious look on her face. “Aunt Betty, this young man is dealing with some turmoil in his life right now. I think we need to pray for him,” Sheila instructed. “Yes, ma’am, I agree. Can I hold your hand?” Aunt Betty asked Ren. “Sure,” Ren said hesitantly, as he did not know what was going to happen next. Carefully, he reached out to put his hand in hers as Sheila grasped his other hand. “Lord, You know what this young man is going through right now. We do not need to know, but we ask that You be with him and comfort him through this time of trials. Please give him dreams and visions that will bring peace to his soul and allow him to feel Your presence all around him,” she prayed. Ren immediately froze at the thought of God giving him dreams. He did not know if he could handle any more dreams. As Aunt Betty finished praying, she gave Ren a hug and held him tight. “As I was praying, I felt there was something to do with your mother. Is she in your life?” she asked Ren. “No, I have not seen her for over ten years,” Ren replied with a puzzled look on his face. How did she know this was about my mom? he thought. “I feel she misses you and has been praying for you. I feel there is a breakthrough coming soon,” she continued. How does she know this? Ren thought, completely stumped. “My son, please be patient. God is in control,” Aunt Betty said. “Thanks,” Ren said, not knowing what to do. Just then, Jimmy pulled up to pick him up. Ren staggered to the car. He was feeling strange. Ever since Aunt Betty had hugged him, he had felt odd. Like there was a weight that was coming off of him. Ren did not understand it. He sat quietly in the back of the Audi as Jimmy drove him back to his house. Ren went in and found that his dad was still not home, so he picked up the box and took it to his room. He spent the next several hours opening each letter and reading through them. He realized that his mom had sent him a letter and or card at least once per week for the first five years and then monthly ever since. There were over three hundred cards and letters. Finally exhausted, Ren fell asleep with the letters strewn around him.