Chapter 20

More than anything

THE AUDIENCE CLAPPED appreciatively as the group of novice skaters took their bows. Dressed in costumes from Alice in Wonderland, their programme had gone down a storm. The rink side was packed with family and friends and those who just liked skating, as well as coaches and agents from farther afield, who had come with an eye out for the next Sasha Cohen or Torvill and Dean.

Behind a curtain that shaded the skaters from the audience, Tania and Zac waited. There was one more programme to go before their turn.

‘You look great,’ Zac murmured.

Tania flushed. She had worn the catsuit the day before, for the dress rehearsal, but she still hadn’t quite got used to it. It was so very revealing; she felt almost naked. Not helped, of course, by Zac’s gaze, which had swept over her from head to toe before he whistled appreciatively. At that moment, she had almost blurted it all out – how she felt about him; her terror that they would never skate together again – everything. But she had bitten back the words. She had only just won him back. She couldn’t afford to frighten him off so soon, especially just before the show.

Today, Tania had taken pains with her appearance. As well as the catsuit with its swirling blue whirlpool of sequins, she had added silver and blue sparkles to the side of her face and her hair. She had even painted her nails silver to complete the look. Zac had been quite dazzled when he saw the final effect. ‘I didn’t realize your eyes were so blue,’ he eventually managed.

The little girl waiting nervously beside them took a deep breath and prepared to step onto the ice. ‘Good luck, Connie,’ said her coach, and Tania blinked with recognition at the name. Connie looked about nine years old and was wearing a baby-pink skating dress, with a tiny tiara perched on top of her head. For a moment, Tania forgot her own nerves as she watched Connie take up position on the ice. The music began, and the little girl started to skate. Tania’s eyes opened wide: this girl was very good indeed.

‘She looks like a mini-you,’ whispered Zac, his gaze also following what little they could see of Connie through the gap in the curtain.

‘She’s better than I was,’ said Tania. An anger was rising in her against the woman called Meg who thought skating wasn’t as important as a stable career. She said fiercely. ‘She’s as good as Kerri was.’

Zac nodded. ‘She should go far.’

‘I’ll tell her that. Someone should look out for her.’

Zac looked a little surprised but didn’t comment. Instead, he peered out of the gap in the curtain. ‘My parents are here,’ he suddenly said. ‘Wow! I didn’t think they’d come.’

‘Where?’ Tania squeezed up close so she could see out too.

Zac pointed. ‘There. Sitting by the aisle. My mum’s got long brown hair like you. Dad’s next to her in the blue jacket.’

‘They took the afternoon off to come and see the show,’ said Tania.

‘A Saturday too,’ said Zac, sounding as though he couldn’t quite believe it. ‘They never take time off together.’ His face split into a smile.

‘They must really want to see you skate,’ said Tania.

Zac glanced down. Their faces were only inches away. ‘I guess,’ he said, and his voice was husky.

Tania gazed into his face – the one she had come to love. ‘Zac …’ she said.

‘I know,’ said Zac.

‘You do?’ Tania’s heart skipped a beat.

‘Yeah.’ His hand found Tania’s and he squeezed it.

‘Can’t believe this is the last time we’ll skate together,’ he said quietly.

Tania gulped. That’s not what I was going to say, she thought.

‘Not sure I want to go back to skating on my own,’ said Zac, with a half-laugh.

Tania stared out at Connie, unseeing. ‘Then don’t,’ she whispered.

‘What?’ Zac bent to hear her. ‘What did you say?’

She looked up at him. ‘Don’t. Don’t go back to skating on your own. Skate with me.’

They stared at each other. ‘Are you …’ began Zac.

There was a sudden burst of applause. Connie’s programme had finished.

‘It’s our turn,’ said Tania.

Zac nodded, his eyes never leaving hers. ‘You ready?’

Tania breathed in. Excitement and impatience surged through her. A huge smile spread across her face. ‘Yes.’

He answered her smile with his own. ‘Then let’s go.’

Connie, her cheeks flushed to match her pink dress, stepped off the ice. Tania grabbed her arm as she passed. ‘Don’t let them stop you,’ she said firmly. ‘If you want to skate, don’t let anyone tell you you can’t.’

Connie stared at her. ‘I won’t,’ she said solemnly. ‘Thank you, Tania.’

Tania nodded, then Zac was pulling her onto the ice and into position.

She barely heard the applause as they took up the opening pose. Her whole attention was focused on Zac. The music started, and Tania felt her body respond by itself. By now, every move was so familiar to her that she gave herself up to the ice.

They moved in perfect harmony. Instinctively Zac reached for Tania at precisely the right moments. The air whistled past them as they built up speed around the end of the rink before Tania held out a boot for Zac to grab and lift her into a stag position. There was cheering, but Tania was oblivious. Adrenalin fizzed through her like a firework, and by the look on Zac’s face, she could tell he felt the same. They exchanged looks of pure delight, and the death spiral was the best they had ever done it.

The programme started conventionally enough, but before too long they were into Zac’s skateboarding section. There were gasps from the crowd as Zac used his knees to skid across the ice, and Tania performed two cartwheels in succession. Then the audience burst into spontaneous applause. Tania felt her body flood with excitement, and it felt just like the moment on the zip-wire, when she launched herself into space.

As they went into a pairs spin, Tania was acutely aware of Zac’s hands on her, as though they were burning through her costume. The spin increased speed, and for a moment it was hard to tell where Tania ended and Zac began.

The music built to a climax and Tania felt her heart beat faster. This was it – the tabletop lift. Without hesitation, she sprang up, and Zac lifted her high above his head, his blades skimming the ice below her. Tania closed her eyes for a second, arms stretched out. This was true joy – this was flying.

As though she were a delicate piece of china, Zac lowered her swiftly into their fish dive, and as the music came to an end, Tania turned her head to look back into his eyes. The expression in his matched how she was feeling – more alive than she had ever felt before. Her hand brushed his cheek, tracing the outline of his jaw without thinking. Zac’s lips moved.

‘You know I’m crazy about you, don’t you?’ he was saying. His words were drowned out by the crowd, but Tania knew she had heard him right. She couldn’t reply; the breath stopped in her lungs. She felt dizzy at the look in his eyes. It was as though she were at the centre of his world and nothing else existed.

He set her on her feet, and suddenly Tania was aware of the audience. They were on their feet, clapping and cheering, and as Tania looked out, she caught sight of her parents, standing and cheering with the rest of them. Beside them were Libby and Scott. Libby was whooping so loudly Tania could hear her over everyone else.

Zac said out of the corner of his mouth, ‘I think we’re meant to bow.’

Tania blinked. ‘Of course.’

They bowed to all four sides of the rink. The applause just grew louder and louder, and to her satisfaction, Tania caught a glimpse of Connie’s mother Meg, on her feet and clapping just as enthusiastically as everyone else.

It was time to leave the ice, but for one moment, Tania paused. Her eyes slid across the audience, drinking it all in. This is what I love, she told herself. This is what I lost. But now I’ve found it again.

They skated to the side, where around seventy skaters were waiting to come on for the big finale. Brock nodded to them as he corralled the smaller ones together. It was a nod of approval, and although he didn’t say anything, they knew he was pleased. Tania and Zac moved to the back as the others poured past them, and then, suddenly, they were alone.

‘I guess we should get changed,’ said Tania.

Zac reached for her hand. ‘Wait a minute,’ he said. ‘Before – when we were waiting to skate. You said – did you mean it? Do you want us to keep skating as a pair?’

Tania looked into his eyes, and her gaze didn’t falter. ‘More than anything,’ she told him.

Zac opened his mouth to speak, but his breath caught in his throat. ‘I was hoping you’d say that,’ he whispered. ‘I can’t imagine coming here every day and not skating with you.’ He grinned. ‘I guess we should get changed then, like you said.’

‘One thing first,’ said Tania, as he turned to go. ‘Out there, on the ice. What did you say?’

He looked steadily at her. ‘You heard me.’

‘I want you to say it again.’

Zac glanced down and reached for her other hand. He held them out in front of him. ‘I said I’m crazy about you.’

Tania couldn’t speak, she felt so happy.

‘Didn’t you know?’ asked Zac. ‘I thought it must be obvious how I felt about you.’

She shook her head.

‘Every day, when I wake up,’ he told her, ‘you’re the first thing I think about. Seeing you – skating with you. You make my day better – you make my life better.’

Tania eyes shone. ‘That’s how I feel too,’ she whispered.

Beyond the curtain, far away, the crowd erupted into applause.

‘Then I guess there’s just one thing left to do,’ said Zac softly. He reached for her face, and slowly, as the cheers grew louder, he bent his head to hers and kissed her.