I Am In Love With V
TrooSelf diary entry four of seven
Dated: 7 June
Filed by SPalm123
The detox retreat went really, really, weirdly well.
Or at least, I think it went well.
I mean, Kate actually seemed to tolerate me throughout almost twenty-four hours! I had to work up so much nerve to break the ice and start talking to her, and then I assumed she’d drift off and mingle with everyone else. She didn’t! Hours later, when she and I were still chatting, I honestly expected Lizzie to come over and subtly try to tell me to stop harassing the poor girl.
This may have strictly been all in my imagination, but I can’t help feeling Kate considered me to be half-decent company.
Towards the end of the night, the ghost of my old confidence even whispered that Kate might be interested. This seemed unlikely, but there were… definite signs, I am sure of this. Come the end of the night, when we stood in the corridor that held everybody’s rooms, I almost experienced a will-we-or-won’t-we moment!
Not that I would have dared try anything, of course. And even if Kate had dragged me into her room, she would have been sorely disappointed. I can’t even function while trying to enjoy The Demon at the moment. This development has scared the living fuck out of me and made me seek urgent online help.
Still! While Kate and I ate goulash in a tent, I mentioned that I was planning to be in Leeds for business in a couple of weeks. This was a lie, but I decided to make it happen if she suggested we meet up. To be honest, diary, I have lost sleep over some of these mistruths I’ve so shamefully told this woman. If you have to lie to form a connection with someone, then can that connection still be considered real? Almost definitely not, but I can’t stop myself. I feel like I need Kate, and in person she is ten times more bewitching than even her Tinder profile suggested.
Anyway. I waited for her to mention Leeds again, which was quite a torturous wait… but she finally did when we were saying goodbye on the Sunday! WOW.
Heyyy now, let’s not get carried away here. I need to keep this whole thing very much in perspective. The chances are, she’d like to see me again as a friend, because we shared the detox experience. Most of it, anyway, since I almost bottled out on the whole thing. In the end, I only arrived on the second day. Argh, what a tool, but I got there in the end and that’s what matters. I ultimately went through with the plan, and as a result I haven’t felt this proud of myself in quite some time.
On the unlikely off-chance that sex happens in Leeds, I’ve been experimenting with a new thing and am loving the results. The side effects aren’t great, but they’re surely worth it when you consider the embarrassing alternative facing me at the moment.
I very much doubt I’ll ever end up on a bed with Kate, but huge thanks in advance anyway to Viagra.