CHAPTER FOUR

September 24th

‘Mia. It’s nearly nine thirty.’

Dad banged on her door again. ‘Mia? Are you getting up?’

‘Yeah. OK. In a minute.’ She sat up and swung her legs round from under the bedclothes. For a second the room span; then it went back to normal. She got dressed and went downstairs to find Dad.

‘OK. I’m ready.’

‘What about breakfast?’

‘Not hungry. I’ll get something when we’re there.’

Dad sighed heavily as he picked up his keys from the table. ‘Let’s go then.’

He’d only agreed to give them a lift because Becky’s mum had phoned: ‘… Can you take them? I’d do it myself, but I’m working…’ Mia, listening on the upstairs phone, had heard Dad explaining that he had to work most of the weekend too, even though he was at home: ‘… everyone always thinks teachers have short days, long holidays, but I always have to bring work home evenings and weekends. It’s not easy, you know.’

Dad sounded pathetic, she thought. Whinging on about what hard work it was these days. Why didn’t he do something else if it was so difficult? But he had agreed to drive Becky and her to Thornton Park. A major breakthrough. She hoped he wouldn’t be too embarrassing in front of Becky.

He parked outside the entrance gates to let them out. ‘OK, girls. Make sure you stick together the whole time. No talking to strangers.’

Mia grimaced.

‘I’m not joking, Mia. There are all sorts of weirdos who hang out at these sort of places. You need to watch out.’

‘What do you mean, weirdos?’

‘Don’t be obtuse, Mia. You know what I’m talking about.’

‘Dirty old men in raincoats? For heaven’s sake, Dad. You’re the weirdo around here.’ Mia raised her eyes in exasperation.

Dad turned towards Becky. ‘Your mum will pick you and Mia up?’

Becky smiled sweetly. ‘Yes, Mr Kitson. Don’t worry.’

Mia cringed inside. Any minute now her dad would say something even more embarrassing. Sure enough.

‘Less of the Mr Kitson, Rebecca. Why don’t you call me David?’

Mia groaned out loud. ‘Dad! Can’t you just go?’

Becky clambered out of the back seat; Mia slammed the door and stalked towards the ticket office.

Dad leaned out of the window and gave a mock salute. ‘It’s been a pleasure, madam. So glad to have been of service. Any time.’

Becky grinned. ‘Thanks a lot for the lift. Bye.’

Mia was determined not to turn round. Thank heavens Ali wasn’t around to witness his performance. Or Will. She’d die of shame. Dad thought he was witty and amusing. He probably told jokes in class and thought the students saw him as one of them. Thank God he didn’t work at their school.

Becky joined her in the queue. ‘You shouldn’t mind so much about your dad. He’s sweet really.’

‘He’s just so – embarrassing. Your parents don’t behave like him.’

Becky shrugged. ‘Let’s go and find the others. Forget about your dad.’

They went through the turnstile and walked on to the platform for the little train that took them into the park.

‘How’s things with you and Will?’

Mia shrugged. ‘I don’t know really. I’ve hardly seen him this last week.’

‘Well, you’re the one who’s skiving, aren’t you?’

‘Ill, actually.’

‘Oh yeah? Come off it, Mia.’

‘Really.’

They’d reached the first rides. They stopped to watch three girls being buckled into harnesses for the SkyDive Experience. It cost extra, and they gave you a video of yourself afterwards. It looked fantastic, Mia thought. The nearest thing you could get to flying. You were winched up in your harness, way up in the sky, and then dropped so you free-fell through the air until the cable tightened, caught you, swung you up in huge, arching parabolas. The whole crowd held their breath as the girls waited, suspended high in the air. They held hands. Then they screamed, fell, seemed to hurtle towards the earth as if they’d smash into it and then, at the last moment, they were whisked back up and the smooth, high, swinging motion began. The screams changed note. Now the girls held their arms out and squealed with joy.

‘We should do that. Only I don’t have enough money,’ Mia said.

Becky squeezed her arm. ‘Never mind. We can do it another time. We’ll get the money and come again. You, me and Ali.’

They found Will queuing with Liam and Matt and Ali for the WaterSlide. Mia’s heart gave a little lurch. He didn’t notice them at first; he was talking to Liam and they both laughed. Then Liam must’ve said something because Will turned round and smiled at her and Becky. Mia wished he’d hug her or something, but she knew he wouldn’t, not here, not in front of his mates. Not cool. Well, she could be cool too, if that was what he wanted. They stood awkwardly in the queue.

Mia pulled a face at Becky. ‘Shall we go on the slide together? Two in the same boat.’

Ali looked at Will. ‘Good idea. Want to go with me?’

‘OK.’

Liam nudged Matt and they both laughed.

Mia watched Will and Ali get in the rubber boat together in front of her and Becky. Will had to put his arms round Ali’s waist in order to hold on. She felt tears pricking her eyelids.

‘It doesn’t mean anything,’ Becky whispered. Then it was their turn. Mia climbed in the round boat, Becky squeezed in behind, arms tight round her. They launched off.

The first part of the slide was a sheer drop. Mia’s stomach lurched. She screamed; Becky squealed; then they were laughing, uncontrollably. They were skimming through the water, the boat spinning them round, and then it was over. Becky climbed out, still laughing.

‘I’m completely soaked!’

Mia sat hunched in the boat.

‘Mia?’

‘I think I’m going to be sick.’

Mia staggered towards the toilet block, Becky tagging behind her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Ali and Will climbing the steps for another ride on the WaterSlide.

They sat together at a bench opposite the House of Horror. Becky ate another doughnut.

‘It wasn’t that scary. Not enough to make you sick.’

‘I wasn’t frightened. Well, only a tiny bit at the start, you know, when it just drops away. I just threw up. That’s all. No big deal.’

‘Let’s join the others then. Megaphobia next. Or that pirate ship?’

‘Where’s Will gone?’

‘I’m not sure. They all went together, I think.’

‘How could she?’

‘Ali?’

Mia nodded.

‘Typical really. She’s like that. Don’t take any notice. She’s just jealous of you and Will. But he doesn’t fancy her or anything. You can tell.’

They wandered over towards the biggest rollercoaster ride. A woman was standing her small children against the sign, measuring their height. ‘See? I’m sorry. You’re just not big enough, Mandy.’

The little girl began to cry.

Mia read the notice on the wooden post. ‘Nobody smaller than this line may take this ride… No one with back problems… No one with heart problems… No pregnant women…’

The words hit her like a fist.

No pregnant women.

Becky was saying something, but it was as if she were a long way off. Mia put out her hand to steady herself and caught Becky’s arm.

‘Mia? Are you all right? Are you sick again?’

Mia shook her head. She mustn’t let Becky guess. No one must know.

‘I don’t think I’ll go on this one. I’m starving. I’m going to get something to eat. I’ll meet you later. I’ll wait for you at the place where you can get your photo. OK?’

‘All right. If you’re sure. You should have had a doughnut with me earlier.’ Becky ran off after the others.

Mia found herself a bench under a tree. Her heart was still thudding.

No pregnant women. That meant her. She mustn’t ride on the rollercoaster. Presumably because it could harm a developing baby. Cause a miscarriage or something. The speed or the shock, or the rattling around and vibration in the cars. Made your blood pressure go too high or something. You might lose the baby.

She sat on the bench for ages, half watching the families milling around, trailing from one ride to another, queuing for chips or drinks or doughnuts, arguing, laughing, looking bored, while in her head the thought looped and circled like the rollercoaster itself. What if –? This was her answer, wasn’t it? Why not? It was worth a try, surely?

She waited until she was sure Becky and Will and the others had gone far enough ahead in the queue for Megaphobia. She had to be on her own for this. What would happen? Would she feel anything? The rattling and shaking, the building pressure in her ears and belly and then – what? A sort of pop? A sense of things shifting, dislodging. That moment when it’s all in the balance, teetering on the edge, and then the long slide down the other side.

Nothing would happen straight away. A day, perhaps, and then the bleeding would start, and everything would be all right. She could start all over again. She hoped it wouldn’t hurt.

She walked past the sign and joined the queue. Above her, the rollercoaster looped and snaked its way through and above the trees. The screams of the passengers came in long waves, flooding out thought as she got closer to the front of the queue. Now it was her turn. Her face and knuckles were white, but there was no one watching. No one to witness her shaky descent at the other end, or to see the stooped figure retching into the toilet, over and over. By the time Becky and the others found her, she was sitting on a bench under the trees, composed again. Later, they all watched the firework display, and Will held her hand in the dark.