CHAPTER TWENTY: THE WALL

 

 

SEAN MET THE others for breakfast at 8.30. The sky was teeming. Figures without umbrellas were bent double, their coats and jackets drawn up around their heads. Water sluiced along the street, reflecting the miserable black seam of cloud.

“It’s just sitting there,” observed Robbie, a huge mug of tea obscuring most of his face. “A big, black bladder of piss. Pissing on us.”

Lutz flicked a baked bean at him from his plate. “That... is poetry.”

Trio’s was like any other breakfast hang-out. Populated mainly by the men working on the demolition site, it was also first-stop for a number of ashen-faced office workers poring over briefcases filled with pages and mobile phones that never seemed to cease ringing. The windows were simultaneously drenched with condensation and fogged with heat. The place was run by three Italian guys. During the rush, when plates of chips, sausage, egg, toast, and bacon were being passed around and devoured, their voices ricocheted off the walls as they called out fresh orders or lambasted the help: two women dwarfed by the huge steel tea urns, apparently doomed to a lifetime of scraping a layer of butter onto bread or hunting down the carousel of red and brown sauce.

Sean was sitting with his back against the wall, watching the smears of colour hurry past the window. He felt nauseated by what had happened the day before, but the boys around him were helping to make him feel normal again, part of a crowd, rather than someone picked out for the limelight.

There was one customer he had noticed who visited every day and seemed to end up bickering with the staff about his order. Here he came now. He wore a red, corduroy jacket and blue jeans. Caterpillar boots. Simple black T-shirt. He shed his earphones and dug in his pocket for some change with one hand while the other marked his place in a paperback.

“No,” the chap was saying now. “I said mustard. Who has tomato sauce on a hot beef sandwich? Mustard. Anyway, it doesn’t even sound like tomato sauce. Or ketchup.”

The old Italian guy said sorry maybe a dozen times, his voice thick with accent. Sean liked Luigi. He had a kind face, even though it was heavily lined. He had friendly, sorry eyes magnified by unflattering glasses; his hair was oiled and swept back from his forehead. His brothers were younger, beefier. Sansone had a series of diagonals shaved into his right eyebrow and wore a Fiorentina football shirt; Pepe sweated profusely and rarely lost his expression of bewilderment.

“Reminds me of Salty, that,” Robbie said, gesturing towards the counter. “Every day is the fucking same for Salty in this caff. He asks for marmalade on his toast. Every morning. They stick Marmite on it. He says something about it and some of them, especially the hard-looking one, complain, make a big song and dance. I half-think he does it on purpose. Fucking Italian stereotype game. Scowling like he’s some mob fuck with an itch up his shitter. He goes: ‘Fack, meester, iss like you ask Marmite I give you Marmite but iss no facking good. Iss marmalard you want. Haysoo facking Chrize, man. You thin’ I here for your good health an sanidy?’

“So this morning, right, he gets it spot on, first time. Without Salty having to ask for it. Marmalade. No problem. Salty, mad bastard, tells him he wants Marmite. The fucker barred him. Barred him from a caff, for fuck’s sake.”

“This weekend,” Nicky Preece was saying. “What do you say?”

A friend of the family was getting married. Nicky, as best man, was organising the stag do, which would be an all-day affair. The celebrations were due to begin on the Saturday morning: a game of football at Victoria Park. Nicky was trying to recruit some ringers.

“It’s nothing serious, just a kick-around, really.”

“Will there be nets?” Jez asked.

“Does it matter?”

Jez shrugged. “I find you can’t have a really decent game of footie unless you get some nets. It’s the sound of the ball hitting the back of it. That kind of wet, whipping noise.”

Robbie laughed. “A noise you and your mother know all too well, eh, Jezzer?”

“’K off.”

“Look, we need five more people. That’s all. It’d be great if you lot turned up. We’d have a laugh.”

“This Saturday, you say?” Lutz asked. “Only I can’t make it.”

“Fuck,” Nicky spat.

“Me either,” said Jez.

“But you were just asking about nets.” Nicky looked around him, as though for confirmation that this was so.

“Yeah, but I was just asking for the others. You can’t have a decent game without nets.”

Sean said, “I’ll go. If you want me.”

“That’s great,” Nicky said. “Anyone else? Robbie?”

Robbie nodded, his mouth full of bread.

Nicky gave him an OK sign. “Come on, Tim. You look like a footballer.”

Tim was bent over his poached egg on toast, still bovinely chewing his first mouthful. In this time, Lutz had gobbled his breakfast and was half-way through his second mug of tea. Tim sat up at the mention of his name and swivelled his large, moth eyes until he was staring at Nicky.

“Brittle bones,” he said. “Asthma. Glue ear. Angina...”

“Okay, okay,” Nicky said, wearily. “I asked you if you wanted a game of footy. I didn’t ask you for a list of stuff queuing up to kill you.”

Tim said, “Piles.”

 

 

THEY MADE GOOD progress that morning. Nicky and Sean worked as a team on a fresh wall while the others pulled up floorboards in another room. In his T-shirt, sweat hooping the neck and armpits, Sean had mastered the art of talking and working with the hammer.

“We going to need special kit for this game?” he asked, swinging the tool over his head.

“Nah,” Nicky said. He was taking a breather, leaning against the handle of his hammer while he watched Sean work. “We’re hiring kit from the sports centre there. Nothing serious though, we’ll just have a kick-about if not that many turn up. I doubt they will. Freezing cold morning. I must be bloody mad. Should be good though.”

“You lot hang around together quite a bit then?”

“Yeah, pretty much. It’s a tight little unit, you know.”

Sean whipped his head around, trying to get the sweat out of his eyes. “And Vernon. Is he part of it?”

“Vernon’s his own man. We hardly see him. I like it like that. Same with Salty and the Rap. Upstairs men. Not like us. Salty, maybe, but not really.”

Sean let him chew on the silence a while and concentrated on his job, waiting for the question. The wall was coming apart, slowly, but the deeper they got into the building, the sturdier the construction. It was as though in the building of the de Fleche tower they had run out of decent stuff towards the top and substituted inferior materials. It was hard going now and would become harder. But that suited Sean. He was building himself up in the evenings, working hard at his press-ups and sit-ups and squat thrusts. He was running hard in the mornings, up to five miles a day now, and he felt better than ever.

“The other day, when Vernon wanted to see you. How did it go?”

“Fine,” Sean said. “He just wanted to welcome me on board. Took me for a beer.”

“Oh,” said Nicky, non-committally. “Nice one.”

“You don’t sound convinced. Did he not buy you a pint when you joined up?”

“Well, yeah. But me and the boys thought there was something more than that.”

“Really?” Sean said, not giving anything away. He didn’t want to piss Nicky off too much. He desperately wanted to inveigle his way into the gang; a football match and an afternoon in the pub would go a long way towards cementing their relationship.

“Well. Yeah. We knew Kev. The guy who was... well, I suppose he was Vernon’s right-hand man. He was invalided out, couple of weeks ago. We all thought Lutz was going to get picked to work with Vernon but then you came along.”

“Invalided out?”

“Vernon didn’t tell you any of this?”

Sean stopped swinging the hammer. He stepped back and ran his forearm across his face. “No he didn’t. Where’s Tim? I need a drink.”

Nicky Preece was obviously unsure as to whether or not to go on with his story. He picked up his mallet and took over from Sean, bashing the wall at a much quicker pace than his partner, but with less power.

“Kev got shot,” said Nicky. “He and Vernon were visiting the owner of a nightclub. This guy, he owed Vernon some money, I think. But the nightclub owner was savvy to him. Tooled up. Vernon got out by the skin of his teeth. Kev was cornered in an alleyway by a couple of bouncers. Shot through the throat. He works on his allotment now. Digging beetroot and shit.”

“Where?”

Nicky said, “Out Bewsey way. The bouncers got their comeuppance though. One of them was blinded in an acid attack a few weeks later. Nobody’s saying nothing about who did it, but, well...”

Sean looked at him calmly. Nicky returned his gaze. He downed tools and smiled at Sean, breathing hard. “You know,” he said, “it’s the weirdest thing. I can’t help it, talking to you, but it’s like talking to the police.”

Sean laughed. “I’m as much a policeman as you are a circus clown.”

“I don’t mean anything by it, mate,” Nicky said. “I don’t want to get on the wrong side of you or anything, but you don’t half act like a copper sometimes.”

“How do you mean?” Sean asked, trying to appear amused.

“The silences. The one-word questions. The look. You have got the classic look of a copper.”

“Which is?”

“No offence, but bland as fuck. You know. Dead cold stare. No expression.”

“And you’d know all about that, would you?”

Nicky grinned. “Too much. I’ve been a good lad these past five years, but I was a terror, let me tell you, when I was in my teens.”

“So what about Vernon? What’s he up to?”

“You tell me, PC.”

Sean kicked the hammer across the floor. “That isn’t funny. And I’d prefer it if you didn’t bring this up again with any of the others.”

“Why not? It’s just a laugh.”

“I don’t find it funny. And I don’t want people thinking I’ve got anything to do with our boys in blue. Okay? Jesus Christ, I’ve had a hard enough time as it is without being mistaken for a fucking flatfoot as well.”

Nicky patted him on the arm. “I’m sorry, all right? I’m a tit. Speak my mind, that’s all. No harm meant.”

“Okay, then. Let’s forget it. But Vernon... tell me about Vernon.”

 

Born Vernon Lord, nobody knows where, nobody knows when. Left school without any qualifications. Worked for a series of low-lifes and hoods across the Northwest of England and, for a short period, as bodyguard to a stripper in a Soho bar.

Never married. No form. No known relatives.

Vernon Lord now lives in a very nice house in Appleton. He knows his martial arts and his military history. He knows his weapons best of all.

It is rumoured that he has murdered in the region of seventeen people over the last twenty-five years.

 

What is it with this fucker? Sean thought. No form? No form? The man is a psychopath. He was standing over the stove, steaming some broccoli to go with his re-heated curry from the previous night.

As if summoning the man, his mobile chirped. It was Vernon.

“Tomorrow night. Runcorn. I need to drop by on a client. And then we’ve got to get some video rolling. Can you come?”

“I don’t know about that, Vernon. I’m supposed to be cooking dinner for a friend.”

“You’re not doing too badly, are you? Only been here five minutes and you’ve got work and mates coming out of your backside. Bird is it?”

“A friend,” Sean reiterated.

“Name?”

“I couldn’t possibly tell you that.”

“Aww, and us best chums and all. You can tell me.”

“Esmerelda, her name is. Esmerelda Arbuckle. The third.”

“Right. I see. So the job. The job. You won’t do it? I strongly advise that you do. Bring your woman with you. Big, is she?”

“Go to hell, Vernon. I’m not your puppet.” Phone down.

Sean poured himself a drink. A large brandy. No longer hungry, he switched off the stove and took his glass to the window. Some view. Not that he was taking it in. The steep embankment choked with nettles and fast-food wrappers was a dark slab in the night, bejewelled with frost. The sleepers gleamed coldly atop it. Something squirmed through the undergrowth: a rat, maybe, or a cat. A bottle smashed in the alleyway and a flurry of giggles followed the sound.

Sean was thinking of Tim Enever.

He had left Nicky when the questions had veered too close to home, using his thirst as an excuse. The rest of the building was consumed with noises generated by the wind. He was convinced that there must be animals living on some of these floors, judging by some of the scratching and scampering sounds that echoed through the walls. The others were working a floor beneath him and Nicky, stripping out architraves and dados and skirting boards. He saw Tim leaving them, scuffing his way towards the lifts that were no longer working and standing in front of them for a few seconds before the penny dropped. Plodding to the stairwell, he descended two floors and moved into a room off the main corridor; this much Sean could see from where he stood.

Sean followed. He watched Tim moving through the rooms of what had once been a suite of offices. A notice board on the wall contained a holiday planner for 1994 and a photograph from an office party: three men and three women adorned with tinsel, wearing funny hats and booze-loosened smiles. Tim observed the traffic through the window as it was chased along the carriageway by sunlight slipping from a bank of hard, black cloud low to the west. Then he went to the opposite wall and placed his hands against the plaster, moving them as a doctor might against the flesh of a worried patient. He was whispering too, words that Sean couldn’t fathom, though he recognised the tenderness in the delivery of them.

“Tim?”

Tim moved as quickly as he could away from the wall: still a languid movement. “What?” He blinked.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. Wandering around.” His voice was wet, catarrhal. Listening to him breathe was like listening to a sucking wound in casualty.

“You were touching that wall up like it was your girlfriend.”

Tim reddened. He pushed the babyfine floss of his hair away from his eyes and made to walk past Sean. It was easy to block his path. A cobweb would have impeded him.

“What were you doing, Tim?”

“I. Was. Do-ing. No-thing.” Enunciating every syllable, Tim tried to stare out Sean, summoning as much fury to his puppy face as possible.

“Okay, Tim,” Sean said at last. “I don’t mean anything. I was just curious.”

Tim seemed to slump; relief wiped the pitiful attempt at pique from his features. “Do you want anything from the shop? I’m just off to get Salty a packet of fig biscuits.”

“Bottle of water,” Sean said. “Thanks.”

“Right. Put the money in the tin, won’t you?”

“Always do. See you later. We’re going to the pub, aren’t we?”

Tim nodded. He was waiting for Sean to leave the room with him. Sean didn’t disappoint, heading back up to where Nicky Preece was stationed, but as soon as Tim had pushed through the revolving doors, Sean was back down the stairs. He retraced his steps through the offices to the wall that Tim had been caressing. It was a wall scarred by tiny holes where nails or tacks had fastened charts and plans and diagrams to it. Pale green paint was chipped here and there, revealing a sickly pink undercoat. Feeling somewhat self-conscious, Sean placed his hands against the wall in the same way that Tim had. The plaster was warm to the touch and he could feel a slight vibration: no doubt Jez or Robbie or Lutz working with a power tool down below. Sean moved his hands across the wall, wondering what it was that Tim had been doing. Could he have some kind of demolition fetish?

He pushed himself away, chuckling to himself and feeling embarrassed that he had allowed Tim to get at him like that. At the threshold of the room he heard the wind getting up outside the building, howling through the brick nets and chutes and scaffolding. The traffic had dwindled on the carriageway. The cloud had infected the entire sky. It was as though the sun didn’t exist any more.

 

 

EMMA ARRIVED JUST as the evening news was beginning on the television. Sean let her into the flat and then returned to the set, where a man with too-pink skin was standing by a curve of motorway. A crater in the road’s surface was the size of a large roundabout, straddling the central reservation. The crash barriers had ruptured and bent like toffee. Days after the explosions on the M6 and M1, forensic teams were combing the area around the detonated bombs, looking for clues.

“...as yet nobody has claimed responsibility for the explosions and, although it seems unlikely from the sheer scale of the attack, police are not ruling out the possibility that the culprit is a lone terrorist...”

Sean was wiping his hands on a tea towel. Emma plucked it from his fingers and, stepping into the circle of his arms, kissed him deeply.

“Hello to you too,” Sean said, smiling, when she eventually pulled away.

“That was just a message to you, from me,” she said. “Whatever went before... it doesn’t matter to me. I’m here if you want me.”

Sean had made a stew of tomatoes, bacon, and beans. He served it up with hunks of bread and glasses of merlot. They sat eating on the floor, cross-legged, leaning lightly against each other while sleet spattered the windows and the news played out its awful theatre to them.

Later, sitting among the dirty dishes and listening to music, Emma asked Sean what he thought about the motorway bombs.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve seen nothing like it before. I mean, look at the number of cameras they’ve got out on the roads these days. And you’re telling me nobody picked up anything on them?”

“They aren’t all working all the time, are they?”

“No, but you’d think, if what, over fifty bombs had been planted, that something would have been filmed. It’s all too perfect. Nobody has that kind of luck during an operation. Nobody.”

“Well, it looks like they have now,” Emma said, absently stroking the soft fuzz on the nape of Sean’s neck.

Sean thought of the way Tim had moved his hands over the pimpled, scarred surface of the wall. He had treated it almost reverentially.

“I wish I could open you up sometimes,” Emma said, her voice changed. Nervous. Gentle. “You’re so quiet, really. You’ve always been quiet.”

She pressed against his ribcage as though, in the bones that patterned his skin, she might read something about him that she didn’t know. “In here is the real you. The you I want to understand and get to know better. I want to get under your skin, Sean. Does that upset you at all? Does that kind of talk scare you?”

They held each other until it grew too cold to remain on the floor. In bed, they watched the heat of their bodies reach out to the window and slowly draw a grey veil over the freezing railway embankment and the broken sodium lamps. It was a magical time, an immanent time. It felt like Christmas Eve, or a leaden sky at the cusp of emptying itself of snow. Sean felt the hair at the base of his spine lifting with the deliberate grace of a spider’s legs. He wanted to make love to Emma, but something was holding him back. Maybe it was maturity. At the edge of sleep, he thought he understood the secrets of the world and the reason behind too many things that were never considered in life. He stirred, his head woolly, tears in his eyes. Naomi was perched on the edge of the bed, waggling his big toe between her thumb and forefinger. The further out of sleep he came, the more insubstantial she grew, until she was no longer there. She said, as she faded from view, “There doesn’t have to be a door for there to be a doorway.”

Sean crept from bed to the window and palmed away the condensation. Outside, shadows beneath the trees teased themselves into and out of faces he thought he recognised. Some of the people he saw were long dead. Voices from his past tried to re-establish themselves in his memory but they had been gone too long for them to gain purchase. His grandfather was there somewhere, his face as grave as an eagle’s. The hooded eyes, the jut of the jaw, the thick blade of a nose. But the voice would not come.

Dwelling on all of this, he failed to remember what it had been that drew him from sleep in the first place. His toe, when he reached to feel it, was warm where the rest of his foot was cold. He trudged back to bed, arrested in his movements as he saw Emma, the bedclothes shrugged off her, the light streaming through the window hitting her arched body and giving Sean the illusion of transparency; he could see everything in her. Everything.