She was scared and vulnerable, so at first I'd backed off. Taking her inside, helping her get up to her bedroom, that had all been completely innocent. I wasn't about to take advantage of her when she was scared. It wouldn't be right. That's what separates men from assholes, and I'm a man. Of that there is no question.
But I'm also only a man. And when Brynn confessed how much she wanted me, how often she thought about that night in the closet, fuck, the way she felt when I pressed her against the wall, it awakened the rough, ragged thing inside of me. That thing inside of me that I always kept chained up below.
How badly did I want to show it to her right now? But I held back, pushed it down and instead I let her use me for what she needed. I could feel the heat of her pussy through the fabric of my slacks — my God she was so hot and ready. I put my lips to her neck, and my fingers inside of her, then I held her fast and I made her come.
Her eyelids fluttered, only the whites showing for a second as her lips parted. I felt the muscles in her back go taut, and then she came with a sharp inhale and it was fucking incredible. And I knew I needed to see it again.
"Okay Princess," I growled, feeling that tight hot thing pacing inside of my chest. "You want to use me to get off? I can get you off a lot better than that."
She sagged and I lifted her easily. In three steps I had her lying on her bed, her dress hitched up around her waist, her hairs splayed out in halo on the pillow.
The more I pushed her, more she seemed want. My heart was thundering in my chest, like a caged animal trying to break free. I had to remind myself who I was with. This was Brynn, after all. She'd always been easygoing, eager to please. I needed to make sure she wasn't agreeing to things she didn't want to do, just to make me happy. It would kill me if I pushed her too far.
But at the same time, I wondered just how far she truly was willing to go. I knew myself. I needed trust first. I needed to know I was someone she would trust her body to...
I knew how to do that.
"Spread your legs for me, Brynn," I told her, pressing my hands inside of her thighs. "Wider. I want to see you."
She rocked from side to side, making this small little whining noise that was driving me crazy. I shoved her thighs open, rougher than I wanted to be. She was driving me crazy with possibility.
"Get that dress off," I told her. "I want to see all of you."
She bit her lip and reached back to her zipper, but she was moving too slowly for me. I batted her hand away and yanked the zipper down, hearing the fabric tear and not giving a fuck. I pulled the dress over her head and she lifted her arms, willing and ready, and fuck I was starting to lose it for this girl...
That first taste of her was purely selfish and all for me. I slid my tongue all over her, tasting what I was doing to her, how wet I was making her, and I groaned against her when I felt how slick she'd become.
When she moaned and reached out to sink her fingers into my hair, I had to battle the urge to bat her hands away and pin her down again. This wasn't about what I wanted. Not yet anyway. Perhaps in time.
For all I knew, she really was just using me to get off. I had to be okay with that.
The dark desires I kept hidden meant that I was never with one woman for very long. How could I be when the things I wanted were so at odds with the person I tried to be? The man I tried to be?
The lover I tried to be?
Familiar shame flooded the back of my throat and I did the only thing I could do. I covered the taste of it with the taste of her.
Fuck, maybe this was for myself, because even though I could feel her coming over and over again, I couldn't stop devouring her. I stayed there between her legs, sliding my tongue deep inside of her, tasting her secret places before moving up, swirling around her clit to make her crazy all over again. "Too much... too much..." she was moaning, but I wasn't stopping, and her fingers still held my hair, holding me to that same place over and over again.
When I felt her shuddering and starting to arch again for the — what was it? Sixth? Seventh? — time, I pulled back. My lips and jaw were slick with her, but now I needed to taste her mouth.
I grabbed her hands from my hair and pressed them to the mattress, pinning her under me again before I slid my tongue against hers. She met my kiss with such wild abandon I almost went down on her again out of sheer gratitude. My cock was a diamond, straining against the fabric of my boxers. I knew that the moment I slid inside of her, I wouldn't last long, because I'd already tasted how hot and tight she was.
I knelt back and grabbed my wallet from my pocket, sliding out that foil wrapper and holding it above her gaze. "You tell me what you want," I told her. My whole body was vibrating with the strain of holding back, fighting the desire to let those darker desires free. Fuck, the way she was lying there, looking up at me — her hands still splayed outward where I had pressed them into the mattress holding her down — I felt like I had gone past the boiling point and was starting to smoke.
Brynn bit her lip, that gorgeous little telltale indecision. I waited, holding my breath. "You tell me how far you want to take this," I said again. I was already farther than I'd ever thought possible.
"I want it," she finally said, punctuating that declaration with a firm little nod.
I battered down the part of me that wanted to roar in triumph, and instead bent to kiss her. "Tell me what you want," I told her, no, begged her, drawing my lips along her jaw to whisper in her ear. "Tell me exactly."
"I want you to fuck me," she said in a desperate little squeak. "My God, please, whatever, I'll beg if I have to."
I pulled back and couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. "Then beg," I ordered her.
Her eyes darkened, whether with anger or desire, I couldn't tell, but I liked the way she looked there. I liked the way the red marks of my fingerprints marked her peachy skin around her wrists. If I closed my eyes, I could see those pink lines crisscrossing her body in a beautiful lacework pattern, delicate and gorgeous and...
I snapped my eyes open to see her staring me down. "Please," she hissed through gritted teeth. "Please fuck me, Rett."
That was all I needed.
I yanked my pants down and unrolled the condom onto my dick, watching her watch me. Her chest rose and fell in tight, rapid breaths. The way her peachy nipples drew into tight little rosebuds had me stroking myself even before I pressed my tip against her entrance. "You're using me to get off," I said again. I wasn't sure why I kept reminding her that she said that. Maybe it was to keep myself under control, remind myself that this was all about her.
And it worked, pulling me back from the point of no return, so that when I slid inside of that heat, I didn't immediately lose control.
"You want it fast and rough baby?" I asked her, driving myself deep inside of her. "Or slow and deep? What do you want, Brynn? Tell me how you want me to fuck you."
Her eyelids fluttered, and her head lolled back. She didn't answer me, but then again, I supposed I didn't need an answer. If this was nothing more than a booty call, if it wasn't anything deeper, I could close off those parts of myself that wanted so badly to show themselves.
With a frustrated growl, I bent down and took her nipple into my mouth. Looking up at her, I thrust into her slowly, biting down until I saw her eyes go wide, then pulled back. The way the blood flowed back in to the mark I made...
I lost control again.
"Fuck!" I growled, grabbing her arms and pinning them above her head with one hand, my other hand sliding underneath the small of her back, arching her up to me so that I could fuck her at a better, deeper angle. Her eyes went wide with surprise — but maybe that wasn't surprise at all, because she threw her head back, exposing the length of her neck to me and when I sank my teeth into her skin, she only moaned all the louder.
"Fuck, Brynn, you're going to ruin me," I murmured.
An answering moan escaped her lips, and then dissolved into a whimper. Then it became a yell as I drove even deeper. She bucked, rising up against where I was holding her down and the noise that tore from my throat nearly drowned out the sounds she was making. Then she opened her mouth in a full throated scream, shaking her head from side to side like she was trying to deny how good this felt.
Holy fuck, did it feel good. I felt her pussy clench around me and even though I wanted to do this forever — hold her down, make her scream — the sheer exultation of it made me throw my head back, and suddenly I was coming too, a blinding orgasm so intense that the corners of my sight grew dim.
When our heavy breathing subsided, I looked down at her. She was wide-eyed and wild looking, breathlessly gasping, her whole face flushed crimson. I stared at her, searching for the answer to a question I didn't want to give words to.
For a long time, she just stared back at me, meeting my gaze, holding it. Completely unafraid.
I wanted to ask her, what? What is it about you? And I was about to do just that, when she opened her mouth.
"Stay?" she pleaded.
My question died on my lips and I nodded. Because what else was I going to do except whatever this girl wanted?