As tempting as it was to stay in Brynn's bed — holding her tight as she slept — I knew how it'd be in the morning. She'd avoid me, ducking away from my eyes and everything would be ruined.
I knew I needed to give her space to absorb what had happened between us last night, so I quietly slipped out of her house in the early morning, before she could wake up and hate me.
I walked out to my car, still parked at a wild angle at the base of her driveway. Somehow it didn't seem right to head back home again and pretend everything was normal. So I headed for the only place in town that would be open at this hour.
Bob and Lou's diner was in institution. A few years back, some travel magazine had declared it one of America's best small-town diners, and it subsequently became overrun for a few years with tourists. Bob and Lou themselves cashed out, leaving their beloved diner and fleeing to Florida, leaving the place in the capable hands of a formidable Greek by the name of Spiro Yannas. Spiro wasn't one for courting mentions in travel magazines or giving interviews, but he knew his way around a menu. As the hype died down, the menu got better and slowly, Bob and Lou's was returned to us, the people who actually lived in this town.
I pulled up to a spot right by the window, and headed inside. I gave a smile to Charlie, the blonde hostess behind the counter. "You're working early this morning," I said.
"Always," she sighed, then she sort of straightened up and did this weird thing where she tossed her mass of blond curls behind her shoulder. "Is that your car outside, Everett?" she asked me as she led me to my table.
I blinked at her. "You saw me come in," I said.
"It's nice," she said, leaning over a little too far over to hand me my menu. I had almost no choice but to stare directly down her shirt. "It must've cost quite a lot, huh?" she trilled.
I looked down and studied my menu as she poured my coffee. Charlie was a nice girl, and I'd known her forever, but there was no disguising what she was up to. This sort of halfhearted flirting, I encountered it from time to time from girls who wanted to trade their attention for my money.
Last night, Brynn and I had joked about using each other. But after lying next to her all night, listening to her breathe while ignoring my raging hard on, it didn't feel like that was what we were doing anymore.
"It's a fine car," I finally said to Charlie.
"Maybe you could pick me up in it sometime?"
I looked up at her. Her eyes were wide and hopeful, but her smile was tight. And I could tell that she really didn't have her heart in it.
Something in me had changed last night. I couldn’t say what it was, but it made me do something completely out of character. Charlie was startled when I leaned forward and grabbed her hand, but then again so was I.
"Charlie," I told her. "You're beautiful." I meant it sincerely. "And someone will be lucky to have you. But not me. I'm not the right guy okay?"
She blinked slowly, and I saw her shoulders stiffen. I pressed my lips together and inhaled sharply. Too much, I told myself. You showed your hand. You gave too much away.
But then Charlie sort of crumpled in on herself. I nodded at her and without another word she slid into my booth across from me, her head down, she tapped her fingers on the table, her curls hanging like a curtain in front of her face. I saw her shoulders rise and fall as she took several deep breaths. I sipped my coffee and looked over her shoulder, keeping watch for her manager.
After second, she took a big breath. "You're not going to hate me now, right?" she asked.
I shook my head earnestly. "How could I?"
"Because I..." her voice caught and she looked away. "This isn't who I thought I'd be," she finally sighed, plaintively.
There was more here than I knew, so I just nodded. "I know," I said, hoping I sounded reassuring.
"It's so hard sometime. Being alone."
This I did understand. "I know," I repeated again.
She stared off into the distance, tapping her fingers against the table some more. Then she looked up and gave me a smile that was wholly and completely genuine. "Thank you."
I nodded, not fully understanding what happened, but knowing it was necessary. "You'll be fine," I told her.
Her smile grew wider. "Of course I will," she declared. And with that she slid out of the booth and walked away, swinging her hips as she passed by a booth full of farmers. As they swiveled their heads to watch her, I grinned into my coffee cup. Yeah you will, I thought.
She was pretty girl, and I had her the palm of my hand. Hell, she was pretty much throwing herself at me. She was ready and willing to be one more girl I pushed too far until I pushed her away, and yet I'd told her no and sent her on her way.
There was only one girl I wanted.
Something had changed for me last night. And now I needed to be even more careful.