She followed me back into my bedroom. I could hear the sound of her feet against my wood floors and that sound was the only thing that kept me from thinking I was in some kind of dream.
I'd asked her.
And she said yes.
When we reached my bedroom, she stopped. I could tell she was taking stock of this and I would have given anything to know what she was thinking. Did she wonder why my bed was so huge? Did she think it had anything to do with my perversion or did she just assume I bought it to accommodate my six-foot-four frame? Was she looking around for warning signs?
Would she stay?
I wouldn't stop her if she left right now. But I was also certain that I would never be able to look at her again. To come so close only to turn away...
The box is there, high up on the shelf in the back of my closet. Before I reached up and grabbed it, I paused to consider. I could still give her an out. I could still smile and say just kidding and proceed with regular, vanilla sex.
I darted a quick glance behind me to see Brynn standing there, eyes shining with something quietly ecstatic.
Then I made my decision.
When I turned back around, Brynn's eyes went straight to the length of rope in my hand. It's bright white and silky. I kept it coiled and neatly knotted, because I like everything to be neat and orderly. It helped keep back the chaos inside of me.
Even when it's the chaos that gets me off the hardest.
"You have rope available, just waiting there?" Brynn said, her eyes wide. I could tell that she was trying to make light of the situation, laughing away her nervousness.
But I felt no such nervousness. With the rope my hand, I felt calmer then I'd felt in a long time. More in control. That which I had been denying for so long was no longer able to be denied.
"Yes," I said. Because what other answer could there possibly be to that question? Then I looked up at her and gave her a grin, reminding her that after all, it was still me, the man she said she trusted. "I like to be prepared," I told her.
Her lips slipped into a sideways grin, and I saw some of the nervousness fade away, replaced with an eager shine to her eyes.
She was into this. She was into this. Like I was. And the fact that she was made me want to kneel down at her feet and kiss those sweet little toes.
"Take off your shirt," I told her. There was a tightness in my throat that I couldn't swallow away.
She bit her lip in the momentary agony of indecision before nodding lightly and obeying. My heart pounded in my throat as I watched her lift her t-shirt over her head. In the daylight, the creamy peach of her skin was even more enticing. The rope I had in my hand was silken, white and expensive. Against that skin, it would look like lace. I was going to weave her into intricate knotwork fit for a princess.
"Now your shorts," I said.
"You're not going to get undressed?" she squeaked.
I shook my head. "Not yet."
She blinked and the pulse at the base of her throat fluttered faster. I could already feel the way it would beat against my lips as I kissed her while she was tied.
She hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her shorts and pushed them down over her slim hips. I exhaled sharply when I saw that the white cotton of her panties had gone transparent already, she was so wet. My cock throbbed painfully in response. And I saw her eyes go to it. She saw me crowded uncomfortably into my jeans, just as I was seeing all of her standing nearly naked before me.
Nearly.
"Take off your bra now," I told her.
She licked her lips. "And my panties too?" she asked.
I shook my head. "No," I told her. "Those are for me."
A soft sound escaped her lips before she reached behind her back and unfastened her bra. As she flung it away, she looked at me, as if inviting me to take her in.
I did just that, letting my eyes roam the length of her. "My God, do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" I asked. It wasn't flattery. It was an honest question.
She didn't answer, but her eyes shone for a second. I gestured, nodding towards the bed. "Lie down," I told her.
She hesitated, wavering in place.
"I'm going to take care of you," I told her. "Whenever you're with me — tied up or not — I'll never leave you needy. You know that."
She blinked as if drugged." "I know," she said quickly.
I stepped forward. "Do you? Do you know that watching you fall apart is becoming my favorite addiction?" I asked." Do you know that seeing you lose control keeps me up at night?"
She trembled softly, and I could wait no longer. "Lie down," I told her thickly, barking orders like a bastard. But fuck, she was already unleashing all of the things I tried so long to keep tamped down. "Lie down, on your back, and spread your legs so I can see you."
She bit her lip and sat down on the bed, then walked herself backwards, her eyes never leaving mine. I knelt up on the bed and let a length of rope fall through my fingers to brush against her leg.
"Look at me," I said.