The breeze tickled through the towering stalks of grass. White pillowy clouds dotted the blue skies. Somehow, I must have been dropped in the middle of heaven. I propped up on my elbows, looked around, and planted my hands on the ground to get a better view of my surroundings. “What happened?” I said out loud, unsure who I thought would hear me. How did I get to this field? I sat up and ran my hands over my face. There was confusion and disbelief at what had just happened. I couldn’t wipe it away.
My head spun, leaving me lightheaded and confused. I was hungry and exhausted. My mind raced through a million thoughts all at once. A fly buzzed in my ear. Not in the mood fly. I tried to remember what had happened to me. What felt like just moments ago could have been hours or days. I had no sense of time or location. As the dizziness passed, I stood up with caution, straightened my satchel across my body, and looked around the small field that had a few trees scattered throughout. There were heavier wooded areas on both sides of me. I know there hadn't been that many trees a few moments ago.
My surroundings were not familiar. What had happened before I had passed out? I rubbed my forehead and searched for the answer. I blocked the midday sun from my eyes and looked around for my sunglasses that I had pushed on top of my head before I had walked into the building. “That's it! I had walked into a building. But now, the building is not here.” I rubbed my neck. I continued to talk to myself. It wasn’t as though anyone was around to question my sanity. “In fact, nothing is here. Where in the hell am I? None of this is making sense. I could have sworn that I had seen Kyle when I entered the building.” Did he have something to do with me blacking out?
I twisted around slowly in a circle to take in my surroundings. No sign of civilization. A building? Road? Cell phone tower? Sound of cars? Nothing. I held my breath and concentrated on the surrounding sounds. It was still too early in the year for the drowning noise of cicadas, so it did not surprise me at the lack of their buzz. There was a slight rustle of the trees as the breeze blew through the branches. I felt the breeze slip across my face and the tall grass brushed up against my boots. I looked for a landmark or a sign to help me figure out where I was or how I got to this field. No clues. I remembered the scent of burning cherry wood had filled the room before I had passed out. I could no longer smell it. Someone had parked next to my SUV, but I couldn’t remember who I thought I had seen. I still thought it could have been Kyle. But that didn’t make sense to me either. Nothing made sense. My brain was in a fog.
My stomach grumbled and begged for food.
I looked around again, my hand shielded my eyes from the bright sun. I had never felt more lost in my entire life than I had felt at that moment. When Todd died, I had Hannah and Beth to lean on for support. In the middle of this field, I had no one as I panicked. I had no sense of which direction to walk. It was all too quiet and empty. Had someone dragged me out into the middle of the woods? Kyle? Thousands of thoughts tossed around my head, and I couldn't make sense of them. They felt jumbled together. Lost. Confused. Alone. Afraid. The situation reminded me of Stephen King’s story, Misery. The writer was in an accident and rescued–if you want to call it that–by a stalker. He ended up escaping. Even as crazy as that was, he had someone with him. I was alone.
I continued to turn around, looking for some sign of people. Groves of trees. Fields. Sky. What sounded like a creek babbling nearby? This was not what I had planned for my day.
Tears pricked and the sting in my nose told me that a big cry was imminent. I fell to my knees and sat back on my heels. I was emotionally and physically drained and felt defeated. The last time I had felt this physical and mental exhaustion was when Todd had died. It had taken me weeks to recover. I sensed I could not be afforded that recovery time now.
I laid down on in the tall grass and looked up at the sky. The sun was almost directly overhead. I covered my eyes with my forearm, blocking the sun, and gave myself a moment to pull my emotions back together and think this situation through.
“Get yourself together, Murray. Stop your bellyaching, it will not help. Think. Think. Think!” I sat up, wiped my tear-soaked cheeks with the sleeve of my navy corduroy jacket, and searched my satchel for something to wipe my nose. There was a travel size package of tissues at the bottom. I almost forgot I had packed a few protein bars and felt my stomach cramp in hunger. My fingers couldn’t open the package fast enough. I was absolutely famished. It did not feel like it could be enough to help re-energize me, but it offered me an opportunity to slow down my racing thoughts and focus on finding my way back to civilization. And to not think about all the ticks that was probably lurking in the field.
“Pull on your big girl panties and figure this out. What do you have available? Pens. Notebooks. Protein bars. Water bottle with some water left in it.” I rocked the bottle back-and-forth to judge what was left. “Satchel. Car fob—obviously of no use without a car—and... my phone! No sunglasses. Must’ve dropped them at the fort.” I searched my bag, pulling everything out to look for the phone, and couldn't find it. “Back pocket! Of course!”
I patted my back pocket and found the phone where I had put it when I got out of the car. I always carried my phone next to my body or else I would not feel it vibrate when I got a text or call. It was a habit I had picked up after Todd had died. I didn't want to believe that he was dead; he was just on a trip, and he was going to call me when he had the opportunity. That phone call never came, but the phone was always nearby. I pulled the phone out and tapped the screen. Nothing. I pressed the power button. Nothing. “Are you kidding me? Come on!” Tap. Tap. Tap. It almost turned into slam, slam, slam.
I continued to tap the screen and push the buttons, with no success of getting it back on. Frustrated with what was going on, I shoved it into my satchel instead of hurling it into a nearby tree.
“No phone. No car. No people. No landmarks. No sense of direction. No sense of time. It just makes no damn sense.” Frustrated again, I felt the tears welling up. I twisted my wedding ring around my finger. “Honestly, how can this day get any worse? Think, Murray, think. What would Todd do?” Todd always had a way of working through odd situations, and it didn’t get any odder than waking up in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere.
Still seated, I looked around again and looked up at the sky. “The sun! Okay. Okay. The sun is almost overhead, so it must be around noon. I walked into the building a little before noon. Unless it has been longer than a day, then it is shortly after I walked in. How did I get moved into the middle of nowhere so quickly? Was the cherry wood scent a poison or something to make me sleep? Have I been asleep for days? That makes little sense.” I rubbed my temples to stave off the headache that threatened to make this day worse. “Who would do that? Who was there? Kyle? Was there anyone else? Why can’t I remember? That part doesn't matter right now, Murray. You can worry about that later. You have got to figure out where you are and get to the police, hospital, home... anywhere but here.” I slammed my fists onto the ground. A gritted growl burst from my lips.
I inhaled deeply. A shaky exhale escaped. Try again. Inhale deeply. Slow, controlled exhale. Rinse. Repeat. My panic subsided, and I could think with a logical mind. “Wherever I'm at, I could not have been taken far. There was not enough time in between me passing out and waking up. I could head north, I guess.” I looked around again. Maybe, I would come across a town or a road. “Maybe? Now, which way is north?” Talking to myself made me feel better. As if I was talking to someone else and not alone.
I stood up, looked around the vicinity, tried to figure out which way was north, and realized that I hadn’t had to really think about directions before. My SUV’s GPS would tell me which direction I was driving. My phone had a compass app. I always stayed on marked trails when I went hiking. And I was terrible at reading maps. I never needed to figure out direction by using the sun or a real compass. Besides, with the sun directly overhead, it was difficult to figure out the direction it was moving. I knew when it started to move, I could tell which way was north. “Sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Move sun so I can figure out which way is which. Why does this even matter? I don’t know where I am and what will be in any direction.”
I took a deep breath in through my nose, using the deep inhales to fill my lungs with the clean air and long exhales to help center myself. The air was clean. No scent of car exhaust or dirty air lingered. The cool breeze was light and continued to blow now and then. A gust blew through and caused my blazer to flutter open. I could feel the cool breeze cross over me. I inhaled deeply, the faint scent of burning wood tickled up my nose. “Mm. I love the smell of a campfire. Campfire! Where there is smoke, there is fire. Where there is fire, hopefully, there are people.” I had to admit, I danced a little and whooped.
I looked around above the tops of the nearby trees, looking for the telltale sign of a fire and people. I could see a slight amount of smoke wafting above the trees and headed off in that direction. I couldn’t tell you if it was north, south, or otherwise, but I didn’t care.