Chapter 18
Embarrassment Enough to Last a Lifetime

I had been praying about it, like I’d said. But now that the moment of decision had come and I was face-to-face with it, I felt nervous and uncertain all over again. Of course, how much of that had to do with the election and how much had to do with Cal Burton himself, it was impossible for a twenty-three-year-old girl like me to know.

I couldn’t help being a little taken with him. He was just about the finest-looking man a girl like me’d ever set eyes on. And so nice—how could I keep from liking him?

As much as I tried to concentrate on things like the election and what I ought to do as a writer, my mind kept filling up with Cal Burton. I wanted to say yes just because of him. All kinds of doubts would rise up, reminding me that I wasn’t pretty, that a man like him would never look twice at me. I’d take to looking in a mirror and fiddling with my hair without even realizing I was doing it. When I suddenly woke up to the fact that I was daydreaming the day away, I could hardly stand what I saw in the glass and would turn away in disgust.

One time Pa chanced by the open door of my room and saw me standing there like an idiot, turned sideways, looking at myself. I caught his reflection in the mirror as he walked by, mortified to have him see me like that. I got so flushed my skin burned, and I turned away from the mirror and ran outside. Pa never said a word, but he knew well enough what I was thinking about.

All the rest of that day I wandered about in a daze, trying to concentrate, trying to pray, trying to be rational about it. But it was useless. I’d never figured myself to be overly emotional as women were sometimes said to be. I thought my head was sitting pretty level on my shoulders.

But after this day I didn’t know! As close as I’d felt to God that very morning, suddenly he might as well have been a thousand miles away. I couldn’t stand it, but I couldn’t help it either.

I had to talk to Almeda! But when she got back from town about an hour after Mr. Burton had left, I couldn’t get up the gumption to tell her. I had always talked to her about everything, but this was different. I couldn’t help being embarrassed for how I was feeling.

Cal Burton came back some time between four and five in the afternoon. I was wandering around aimlessly near the corral when I heard his rented buggy approaching. I had been working in the garden and rubbing Raspberry down, and I was positively filthy from head to foot. I quickly ran into the barn, hoping he wouldn’t see me. He reined in the horses in front of the house and went inside. I watched the house for a few minutes from one of the barn windows, being careful to keep out of sight.

A little later, the door opened and Pa and Mr. Burton came out. They were talking away like old friends. Pa really seemed to like Mr. Burton. It was the happiest I’d seen him since Zack left.

Suddenly I realized they were heading straight for the barn! I jumped back from the window and hurriedly ran back into the back part of the building where it was darkest, frantically trying not to make any noises that would give me away. I was just crouching down behind two bales of hay in the far corner of the barn when I heard Pa and Mr. Burton enter by the opposite door. I held my breath and hoped the hay didn’t make me sneeze!

“Corrie!” I heard Pa’s voice call out. “Corrie . . . you in here?”

A brief silence followed.

“Blamed if she wasn’t around just a few minutes ago,” I heard Pa say. I thought I heard his footstep coming nearer. He had to know where I was! It would be awful if they found me like I was! What would I say? But I hadn’t answered Pa’s call, so now there was nothing I could do but make sure they didn’t see me!

Silently I hunched down even more, lowering my face into my dress so if any part of me did show, at least my hair would blend in with the hay and straw around me. Why had I hidden? Now I was really in a pickle!

I heard Pa’s footsteps going one way and the other, looking about. “Corrie!” he called out again. I felt like such a deceiver for not answering, but I couldn’t make myself say anything now!

Pretty soon they turned and headed back out. “Can’t imagine where she went,” Pa said. “But come on, Cal, I’ll show you the mine, and take you up to see my brother-in-law. Corrie’ll be along soon enough. The two of you can talk about your business later.”

These last words were faint, because by now they were outside and walking up the stream toward the mine. Slowly I crept out of my hiding place and tiptoed toward the window. I peeked carefully around the edge of it. There they were, thirty yards away, their backs to me, in animated conversation, Pa seemingly telling him all about the mining operation, which Mr. Burton seemed interested in by his questions and gestures.

I stepped back inside the barn and breathed a big sigh of relief. Then first it struck me what I must look like. I was sweating like a horse, my hair was all messed up and hanging all over everywhere, my dress was dirty and had pieces of straw and hay stuck to it all over. I was a mess! Whether I was pretty or not, I was certainly in no condition to meet a man like Cal Burton!

I sneaked back to the window and peeked around the edge. There they still were, almost at the mine now. I needed to go clean up, but I was dying to know what they were saying! What if they were talking about me?

Pa turned and led the way toward the creek. They crossed the bridge and in another minute were out of sight, walking through the trees toward Uncle Nick and Aunt Katie’s. Without even thinking what I was doing, suddenly I left the barn and hurried after them, keeping out of sight behind trees and brush, just in case one of them should glance back in my direction.

I made it all the way to the bridge, then stopped. I couldn’t hear their voices any longer.

Quickly I ran across the bridge, then ducked out of sight off the pathway again. From there I slowly made my way through the trees toward the clearing, moving from tree to tree, glancing around to make sure no one else was coming who could see me. I slipped around behind the house. Everything was quiet, but I knew they were inside. I crept out from my hiding place and ran to the house, kneeling down behind one of the back windows.

I was safe there. Even if someone came to the window and looked out, they couldn’t see me. That side of the house faced the forest, which was close by and generally darker than the front. I strained my ears to listen.

“All this way to talk to our future Congressman, eh, Drum?” I heard Uncle Nick say.

“No, he didn’t come to see me. I already told you, I’m not at all sure what I’m gonna do.”

I heard a woman’s voice next, either Aunt Katie’s or Edie’s.

“He came to see Corrie, of course,” Pa answered whoever it was. “And to take her back to Sacramento with him.”

Some exclamations went around, followed by some laughter. How mortifying. They were talking about me!

Uncle Nick must have made a joke, although I was glad I didn’t hear it. Some more laughter and comments went around the room. “I’m sure Corrie will keep her head,” said Katie.

Cal Burton was the next to speak. “It’s all for the good of the party, I assure you,” he said. “They genuinely want her involved, as they do her father, I might add. I promise to take good care of her.”

“It’s your chance to be a famous man, Drum,” said Uncle Nick, going back to the subject of Pa’s running for office.

“That’s the last thing I want,” said Pa. The laughter had faded from his voice, and I figured he might be thinking about all the things Zack had said. The conversation gradually subsided, and I couldn’t hear everything. The next thing I did hear seemed to be Cal Burton talking to Aunt Katie and her sister. Edie had apparently said something about having recently come from the East.

“What’s it been like there?” Mr. Burton asked her.

Edie laughed. Her voice had an edge to it just like Katie’s, and I could hear her distinctly. “How do you mean?” she said. “Between my husband dying and political tensions, I can’t say it was an altogether pleasant time for me before coming here.”

“I suppose what I meant was more the weather, the scenery. It’s been some time since I saw spring come out in that region, and your mentioning Virginia flooded me with memories.”

“Why?” asked Katie, drawing into the conversation. “You’re not from there, are you?”

“No, but close by. Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina, actually.”

“I would never have known! What happened to your accent?”

“A casualty of coming west to California!” he laughed.

“And you are working for the Republicans?” put in Edie in astonishment.

“You have to take the opportunities that come your way, you know.”

I had hardly paused to consider why their three voices sounded so clear. With the next words Katie uttered I suddenly knew—they had been gradually moving closer to the window I was crouched below outside.

“Is it only me, or is it rather hot in here?” said Katie.

When I heard her hand on the window latch. I panicked and ran. But it was too late!

“Why Corrie Hollister,” I heard behind me. “What in heaven’s name are you doing out there?”

I stopped and turned, trying to look as though nothing was wrong. “Oh . . . I was just coming around the back of the house,” I said lamely. “I heard you talking and couldn’t help listening.”

“Eavesdropping!” said Katie with pretended annoyance. “Shame on you, Corrie!”

There stood Cal Burton right behind Katie, along with Edie, looking out the window at me where I stood like the mooncalf I was! I was so glad the trees kept the light dim. I would have died for him to see me in the state I was in!

“Well, Corrie, don’t just stand there,” said Katie. “You were coming in, weren’t you?”

“I . . . was . . . I mean I didn’t want to—”

“Come on around to the door, Corrie,” she insisted. “As I understand it, this man came all the way from the big city to see you.”

I hastily tried to think of some way to squirm out of the awkwardness and get out of there. But by now Pa realized what the ruckus was about. He came outside as I walked slowly around the side of the house.

“Where you been, Corrie?” he said. “I’ve been looking high and low for you.”

“Just around and about, Pa.”

“Well, come on in. Cal’s back.”

“No, I have to go back home and take a bath before supper, Pa.”

“At least come in and say hello.”

“Oh, Pa, I’d rather—”

“Come in and be sociable a minute,” interrupted Pa. “You can clean yourself up later.”

I knew there was no way out of it, so I sighed silently and went into the house with Pa. He may not have minded my dirty dress and mussed hair, but Uncle Nick wasn’t about to miss the chance for kidding. For once I wished he’d have kept his humor to himself. Usually I didn’t mind, but this time it hurt.

“Corrie Belle,” he said, “you’re a mess! You look like you just stepped out from wrestling with a dad-blamed hog!”

“Nick! Haven’t you got any sense in your head?” Aunt Katie rebuked him sharply. “Now’s not the time for saying such things.”

I was grateful for Katie’s standing up for me, especially since it gave me a quick second to blink back the tears.

“I think your niece looks just as nice as can be, Mr. Belle,” said Cal Burton to Uncle Nick. Hearing his voice say such a thing took my breath away for an instant, and I almost forgot the mess I was in. “Hello again, Corrie,” he added, turning to face me and holding out his hand.

I shook it, daring a quick glance up into his face. His eyes were looking straight at me. I glanced away almost as fast as I’d looked up.

“Honest, hard-working, robust beauty, Mr. Belle,” he said, turning again to Uncle Nick. “Not the kind of thing you see too much in the city, you can take it from me. I’ll take a handsome young lady from the country like this anytime!”

“Oh, Corrie,” whispered Aunt Katie behind her hand, but loud enough so that she made sure everyone in the room heard her, “you better snatch up this fellow while you can! Men like that don’t come along but once in a lifetime!”

Now my face was red! I couldn’t stand it, being the center of everyone’s talk. But everybody just stood there looking at me in my dirt-smeared dress. I could hardly keep the tears back now. It was awful to be stuck there like that!

“So, where have you been, Corrie,” asked Pa, “to get such a mess all over you? We got a guest for dinner.”

“I know, Pa,” I said, trying to stay calm. “I was rubbing down Raspberry. I guess the time got going too fast for me.” I wiped the back of my hand across my eyes.

Pa laughed. “You just smeared a streak of dirt across your forehead,” he said. “Here,” he added, reaching into his pocket for a handkerchief, “you can wipe it off with this.”

Suddenly, without even realizing what I was doing, I spun around and ran for the door. I made for the woods as fast as I could, tears streaming down my cheeks.