KIS(S)MET

Expectations set the tone of every situation. Sometimes our expectations work in our favor; other times our expectations leave us wishing it would all be over—particularly when our expectations lead to heartbreak. Nobody likes to be led on. And most of us (I can’t speak for everyone, because some of you are sick fucks) don’t like leading others on, because it feels wrong. But what if the other person deserves it? I mean, what if leading someone on can actually be beneficial to everyone (except the person being led on, of course)? Perhaps you could teach them a lesson, leave a lasting impression, or simply prevent others from falling victim to the person’s less-than-noble behavior. Would you do it then? Still no? Well, let me share a story that will make you change your mind. Occasionally it’s totally okay to mess with somebody’s feelings.

In 1940, after their anti-Nazi protests had caught the attention of a local commander, sisters Freddie and Truus Oversteegen joined the Dutch urban resistance against Nazi Germany—with the permission of their mother, of course. At the time, Freddie was only fourteen, and Truus was only sixteen. The outspoken and spirited siblings, along with twenty-year-old Hannie Schaft, were taught to shoot, trained in the art of sabotage, and encouraged to use their God-given gifts of feminine flirtation to fight against the Nazis and any of their dipshit supporters.

Together, the trio sheltered victims who were fleeing oppression, organized and executed drive-by shootings on their bicycles (okay, that’s badass), and, most notably, hung out at the local bars. But it was what they did after leaving these bars that was the real act of heroism. You see, Freddie, Truus, and Hannie would lure drunk, dumb, and deserving Nazi jackasses (and their friends) into the woods with the promise of some good kissing—and later, these horny hopefuls would “mysteriously” go missing.

Essentially, the girls would ask them to “take a stroll” in the forest, where the only thing their drool-covered lips would be kissing was a hot bullet. The trio never revealed how many Nazis and known supporters they killed this way because, according to Freddie, “Soldiers don’t say.” (Also, killing was not something they were proud of, but it was something they knew had to be done.) Unfortunately, only a few weeks before the war ended, Hannie was arrested by the Gestapo and sentenced to death in 1945. Thankfully, the sisters lived to tell the tale of their bravery and necessary late-night trickery, each living to the age of ninety-two. (Truus died in 2016; Freddie, in 2018.)

Now, I don’t condone the act of leading someone on—unless you find yourself meeting a lot of Nazis. In that case, you might want to reconsider the dating sites you’re using.