DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF YOURSELF

Straight up, nobody in this world is worth losing your shit over. There’s no reason to act jealous, be possessive, or allow yourself to become sad and desperate. If someone doesn’t like you, who fucking cares? Find someone who does. If your significant other makes you feel like shit, they’re fucking shit—bury them in a sandbox, forget about ’em, and move on. Don’t be like Joanna of Castile. Don’t ruin your life and your reputation with an insecure obsession.

Born in 1479, Joanna (Spanish spelling: Juana) was the third child of Queen Isabella of Castile and King Ferdinand II of Aragon. But this royal privilege didn’t stop her from working hard to improve herself. As a young woman, she spoke six languages, excelled in religious studies, was active in equestrian sports, played music, and could dance with the best of them. Plain and simple, Joanna was a fucking badass. She was smart AND beautiful; this obviously attracted the attention of men. And in 1496 she married Philip of Habsburg, also known as Philip the Handsome. Seriously, the dude’s nickname was PHILIP THE HANDSOME—are you fucking kidding me? He must have looked like Idris Elba and Ryan Gosling had a baby the height of Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson. My point, even Philip’s handsome ass wasn’t worth “losing it.” But Joanna couldn’t resist, she let her imagination get the best of her, and she became absolutely paranoid he was going to cheat.

Her insecurities intensified, and her mental instability grew ever more apparent around the kingdom. She was like a fucking vulture, constantly swarming over Philip, checking his iPhone, and demanding his email passwords. Needless to say, it was sad to watch. She was once such a smart, intelligent, confident woman. Not even Philip’s surprise death in 1506 quelled her insecurities. She wouldn’t allow nuns to approach his corpse before his burial—afraid he’d put his ghost boner in one of them.

In the end, Joanna of Castile became known as Joanna the Mad, leaving behind a reputation of being pathetically jealous instead of beautifully badass.