“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” Pastor Taylor said as we lowered Caesar into the ground.

I had been knowing Pastor Taylor almost my entire life. First he eulogized my mother, not having much to say. It was then I knew a preacher had a talent too besides preaching the gospel.

A preacher could speak on a person, not knowing them at all, but make you feel something anyway just speaking about life. I was sixteen, but I remembered clear as day when he said, “This too shall pass.”

It did, but I never knew it meant I would bury Mama Sharon. I had been stuck ever since that day, only feeling somewhat alive when my kids were around me. I loved Asia, but she was a reminder that I couldn’t have it all, even now as I buried my best friend. I wiped my eyes, thinking about the good times. Caesar wasn’t always a bitch. No, there was a side of him that saved my life. That side died long before we got here, so I had to move on.

By the time doc came and took care of Asia and we disposed of Latoya and Caesar’s bodies, I heard all I needed to hear. I couldn’t believe the lengths they’d both gone through to destroy me, but they mostly destroyed themselves.

The headline for The Miami Herald’s front page read, “Real Estate Tycoon Turned Sex Trafficker”. While paid law enforcement cleaned up behind us, most of what was reported was true.

As for Shaunie, she barely got two lines in the story, quietly being laid to rest with no memorial service at the funeral home. Her family had cut her off a long time ago, choosing to have nothing to do with her. It wasn’t her fault that her mother was more worried about a man who raped her repeatedly growing up, but sadly, it made it too easy to put her away. No one identified her but me and that was because fo Anna Maria. Now I was left to raise not only her but her three other children.

I wish I could say I did it alone, but I didn’t. Asia quietly stepped in, parenting not only them but trying to love Malik, too.? I had four kids all under the age of five, still asking myself why me. My entire life was one tragic event after another.

People looked at the money, power, and status when all I wanted was to be loved. I was filthy rich, so rich I could burn money, but I felt empty and alone. Once I learned Asia participated in the lie about CeeCee’s paternity, I just couldn’t give her my all. When I asked why, she refused to tell me, pushing me further into a dark, deep depression. Clearly, trust wasn’t something people around me seemed to care about anyway, and she was one of them.

I looked around the cemetery, the energy feeling weird. I had just laid my best friend down to rest next to his mother, whose quiet voice still found a way to comfort me. I didn’t deserve it, but being who she was, Mama Sharon showed me what she called mercy. I know I’m still here because of her and there’s nothing no one could tell me to make me feel differently.

CeeCee was still in shock, but my daughter, Roxy, was all too thrilled. Roxy, being oldest, was not only her best friend but now her sister. Somehow, Roxy told me she always knew, but this only confirmed. I watched the two of them huddled up crying, while Gank, Block, and Racer stood behind them at the cemetery as they lowered his body into the ground.

“I fucked up,” I head Racer whispered to no one at all. I knew what he meant, watching that same stare he had on his face when I stared at Asia.

Block stood up with his shoulders straight, looking straight ahead. Out of the three of them, he was the one who showed the least amount of emotion, but today even he struggled.

“Come on, son,” I said, patting Racer on the back. I looked back at Block and Gank who waited until the rest of the family got up. I didn’t even have to ask, they understood that no matter what, there was still an enemy out there.

Pedro was still out there and, honestly, there were more I knew nothing about. That’s what came with this fucked up lonely life at the top, but I chose it so I had to ride it out.

As we all walked to the limousine, heading back to my house for the repast, I saw a black Navigator. It slowly pulled off, driving at a snail’s pace like we were being watched. When it turned a corner, it picked up speed, preventing me from getting a tag number. Still I watched until it disappeared.

“You alright, sir?” Gank asked, opening the door for me while Block and Racer stood on each side of the limosuine.

“I will be,” I said, reaching out to CeeCee who urgently hugged me. She loved Caesar and even though I was a little jealous he got to raise her, she was all mine now.

“Daddy?” she said, her voice shaking as I felt her tears on my shirt.

“Yes, baby?”

“Are we all going to be okay?” she was asking me like she knew there was more she didn’t know. I hated lying to her, but this was still new to all of us and I had the campaign that still deserved my attention.

“Of course, baby. I got you,” I said, feeling her flinch. “What?” I asked her, pulling her away as I looked at her. She quickly looked at Racer, then back at me.

“Nothing.” She touched my chest, patting it as she got inside and slid over, making room for the rest of us.

By this time, CeeCee realized her Uncle Zeke, well her father, lived a dangerous life. While it still took some getting used to, she accepted that either one of them, mostly Gank, would always be nearby. That meant nearby in her life, too.

I knew my baby girl was hurt behind Racer, but I had to let them find their way. As long as he wasn’t toying with her feelings, confusing her with all the back and forth shit, I had to let it run its course.

“Sir?” Gank whispered as I lingered, looking back at the cemetery.

“I’m fine, son.” As soon as I got in, Asia slipped in me behind me. I figured she was riding with the kids, but noticed their limousine pulled off with Block and Racer inside.

I grabbed her hand, softly squeezing it. No matter what place we were in, she did a great job preparing them. They were sharp, dressed up in all black. Asia went out of her way to have Malik, and Shaunie’s sons, Cedric and Ace dressed in Armani suits just like me. Anna Marie and Shaunie’s daughter, Cion, had on full, satin black dresses. In a matter of weeks, we were a ready-made family, yet I had never felt so distant from her.

Once Gank closed the door, he told the driver to head to the house. I closed my eyes. It was my way of saying leave me the fuck alone, but Asia just couldn’t allow that.

“Zeke?” she whispered, leaning in my ear. This was the time I wished the kids were around. If they were, they would probably be playing or laughing with each other in spite of what was going on.

I tried telling them about their mother being in heaven, but honestly, they seemed to be pretty happy with us, not missing a beat. The only one aware of what had just happened was Malik, asking that we cremate his mother.

Latoya’s family could careless, quickly coming in to take whatever she had left behind, apologizing for the embarrassment she caused them. I always knew Latoya had another side. I felt it was more about her mental health, but it really was simply who she was.

From the day she wanted in on our hustle, I should have known a girl like her was out for self. I wanted to love her, but she was incapable of giving and receiving that and I knew that now after many wasted years.

“Yes, Asia?” I said, opening my eyes as I looked ing out the window instead of at her.

“We need to talk, Zeke. I mean really talk.”

I wanted to slap the shit out of her, saying it like it had been me all that time holding out, not wanting to talk. The second Gank told me CeeCee was mine, I waited just enough for her to somewhat heal and she refused to give me what I wanted.

I felt embarrassed, less than a man because she chose to give my child another man’s name, tying her to him for the rest of her life. I had my fucking issues, but I never once would have denied her a chance to love something we both created.

Yes, I did get to watch CeeCee grow up but with Caesar lurking around, we could never just relax and enjoy ourselves. The rules he imposed or tried to made sense now. He basically watched me long for my own child, while I let him.

I guess the look I gave her made her re-think her opening statement. I watched her tug on her skirt, hugging her nicely shaped caramel thighs. Her jacket and top did not leave much to imagine, making it hard for me to ignore her but my anger was very present.

“Okay, I get it. It’s me that need to talk. Can we, please? Like later on tonight?”

“How? We don’t live together?” I said, keeping my voice low. I would never disrespect her intentionally in front of CeeCee and Roxy, but faking like shit was smooth between us was a stretch.

If she could treat me like my feelings didn’t matter all of those years, I can do the same thing now and I did. We spoke when she came in the morning to get the kids ready for school and daycare, and again when she dropped them off.

Between Malik and I, we got them bathed and fed and into bed. So, her presence later on at night wasn’t needed short of me fucking her and we still hadn’t done that.

“Fine,” she said, rubbing my thigh as she crossed her arms. I watched her quickly catch a tear, sitting back as the driver slowly drove us home.

I tucked my lips in, rubbing my chin. I was being an ass, but most men in my position would be. That’s the problem. She didn’t respect me as a man. To her I was still Zeke, her little boy crush and that shit had to stop. I loved her more than I wanted to admit right now, slowly giving in because I had questions that needed answers.

I grabbed her hand and said, “Sure, once everyone is gone.”

She smiled, nodding her head as she leaned over and softly kissed me on the cheek. “Thank you,” she replied, kissing my cheek once more. I shouldn’t have, but I caught her by the back of her neck and pulled her mouth to mine, gently kissing her. She smelled so good, and tasted even better.

Once we pulled up, we slowly got out to head into the house. The kids were playing and squealing as our limousine was the last one to pull up.

“Uncle Zeke?” Cedric said running our way. Asia slipped her hand in mine, our fingers entwining as she held on to my arm. “Are you and Ms. Asia our new mommy and daddy?” Cedric was smart, soon to be four as Anna Marie was five. He was quite the observant and inquisitive one, reminding me of his father. Caesar stayed asking questions when we were kids, making me see all of him in Cedric.

And he was definitely his, all tests coming back with him being the father. I was fucked up initially in the head until I remembered I was still the last man standing. All four of them were his, but Anna Marie still carried my name and always would.

“Yes,” Asia said, answering for the both of us. “Yes, we are.”

I wasn’t comfortable with her saying that just yet, knowing how vulnerable and impressionable children were.

“Good because the kids at school were making fun of us,” he said, hugging on to me as we walked up to the front door.

“I’m sorry that had to happen to you.” I knelt down in front of him, rubbing the top of his head. He smiled and I felt the breeze in the air. Mama Sharon was there.

You did good, my boy. Now let it all go and live. Don’t let what once was, be all there is to be today. She deserves love and so do you. Forgive and let go, I heard her say.

“Let’s get you in the house and out of these clothes,” Asia said, taking his hand.

I wanted to go in and pretend all was okay, but I needed to ask Mama Sharon something.

“Daddy?” CeeCee said, causing my heart to warm. “You’re coming in?”

“Not right now, sweetheart. Give me a minute.” Once they were all inside, my boys walked up making sure we safe.

“Sir, you really need some rest.” That was Gank, good old Gank. I expected him to say that, but we needed to address business relatively quickly now that most of the dust had settled.

“I will but pull every black Navigator registered in Miami Dade county. Get the list and let’s discuss it tomorrow.”

“Already on it,” Block said, his jaws twitching. “It took everything in me not to run that bitch down in my fucking feet, but like always, they will fuck up again and I’ll be right there.”

“Perfect, and Racer?” He sighed, but knew to shut the fuck up until I spoke to him. I knew what he was feeling but he still had to think clearly.

“I’m listening,” he finally said, looking down at the ground.

“Look at a man when he speaks to you, son.” He said looked up, waiting for me to tear off in his ass. I couldn’t but I did need him to focus. “Either talk to her and clear the air, or stop acting like a little bitch. I’m not sure what up with all three of you—.”

“Three of us?” Gank spat, looking at me like I didn’t own the streets. Sierra was out of control and he needed to shit or get off the pot. If I had to cut him off to go get his household in order, I would.

“Yes, the three of you. Block looks like he full of shit constipated, Racer’s acting like a bitch stole his Barbie and you’re acting like you can’t hold your dick and pee straight unless another motherfucker tell you how, where and when. Now I handpicked you three myself. What happened with Caesar and I could never happen with you. And I know you all think Gank is the weakest link but if he were, I would put a fucking bullet in his head myself. He’s just different but so are you two. You both handle your feelings different. Now Pedro is still fucking me hard and when this shit dies down, game is back on. Fuck feeling sorry for shit we didn’t get. Let’s go get it.”

I didn’t know where all of that came from but I did know they each looked up to me and I owed them to act like a man and business.