I’ve been trying to stream a video of tonight’s Church service but to get to Pastor Bevan’s teachings I’ve had to listen to the live worship beforehand, Chelsea and the musicians, and really all I want is to listen to my pastor, but then the laptop decides to crash or it says ‘buffering’ and things go all static-y after Bevan says, I love Sunday nights at Church, and he stops and starts like a puppet having an epileptic seizure, and that’s not how I like to see him because he has a beautiful flowing voice and his speeches are usually like poetry, he’s the closest thing I have to Jesus in my life on this Earth and actually when I pray in bed I see his face sometimes as if I’m speaking directly to God, he stands in for my Lord, and he’s always been so concerned for my and Layla’s welfare, especially when I first started out in the Church and had all this hurt and anger deep down about Geoff, and of course scared of letting anyone in, but Pastor Bevan reminded me about the good news and let me see how the Lord was already working in my life, and I wanted to know Him passionately.
So I was really quite honoured when he came up to me after Church last week and asked me to be on the organising committee for the Like a Rainbow Conference, he said he’s always been impressed with my charitable giving and donations, and how I’ve made a success of my small business and bringing up Layla on my own, he understands that it hasn’t always been easy, and whenever I talk to him I feel really inspired and so we chatted about Layla and how she was getting along at school, and then he asked if I’d be interested in designing the brochures that they’ll send out to delegates when they register and of course I was so flattered, and I went in to Riverlay this evening to workshop and action ideas with him, and so we had a great meeting about options re the brochure copy and how the paper was to be folded, colours and fonts, and the importance of proofreading in this day and age where no-one seems to care about spelling and grammar, you know, a lot of designers don’t even read the text, and he said he wanted it to have maximum impact so we floated around words like Passion and Freedom and Eternity and we scrolled through images of Chelsea on stage with the African children’s choir that headlined the conference last year.
But as I got up to leave something in his bearing made me turn around too quickly and bump into him, and he put his hand on my neck and despite myself I felt a sizzle in my belly, like that first clove of garlic hitting oil in the frypan, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt anything like it and he said, I’ve had my eye on you since the very beginning, and he pressed his lips slowly to my forehead, and we stayed there still for a while with my eyes closed and his hands on my shoulders before he opened the door for me and turned back to his desk, and I sat in the dark in my car with the window down unable to drive home and they were playing that wonderful Hallelujah on the radio, and I felt a new realm of revelation moving within me and wondered whether he could be the one, the man Designed for me, and if the Lord had finally chosen to answer my many prayers.