I got to the graveyard just before noon and crouched behind the tomb opposite the entrance. A minute later, I heard a couple of men strolling towards me. They stopped right in front of the tomb.
Brilliant. How was I supposed to jump out with these idiots blocking my way?
‘It’s nearly time,’ said a man with a very high voice. ‘We need to be ready to strike Baldy as soon as we get the word.’
‘I’m ready,’ said a man with a very low voice. ‘He won’t be making a nuisance of himself once I’ve finished with him.’
The men walked on, but I was busy wondering what they meant. Who was Baldy? Why was he a nuisance? I was so distracted by this that I must have missed Gaius’s first few coughs. By the time I snapped out of it, Gaius sounded like he was choking on a fish bone.
I leapt out and shouted, ‘WOOOOO.’ Unfortunately, it wasn’t Cornelius I was yelling at, but the seriously terrified face of an old lady.
‘Honorius?’ she asked. ‘Is that you? Why have you come back from the dead? Didn’t we bury you properly?’
‘Er, I’m not Honorius,’ I said. ‘Sorry. I was just hiding there as a joke.’
The woman grabbed me by the ear. ‘Is that your idea of a joke? Pretending to be my dead son and hiding behind his grave?’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.’
The woman yanked on my ear ... really hard.
‘Stop!’ I shouted. ‘That REALLY hurts.’
Just then I noticed Cornelius. He was standing nearby with Gaius and Flavia, and they were all killing themselves laughing.