CHAPTER THREE

Knowing You Are Being Manipulated & What To Do About It

How To Know You Are Being Manipulated

Anxiety: You feel anxious each time your partner is about to request for a favor. You are afraid they may ask you do what you don’t want to do yet you know you cannot refuse their request.

Mood: Your mood fully depends on the state of the relationship.

You End Up Apologizing: You always end up apologizing because what you say is always misinterpreted.

Your Relationship Feel Very Complex: you even find it hard to explain your relationship to friends and family, telling them that it's just “complicated".

You Hate Yourself: You know you are weak and you hate yourself for it. You have the feeling your partner is taking advantage of your generosity and niceness but you’re too weak to challenge them about it.

You Justify Your Actions: You find yourself justifying your actions every time and still end up convincing yourself that it is you who do these favor freely without being manipulated.

Inadequacy: you always think you need to improve yourself in some way such as your personality, body, career etc. you keep asking your partner if there is something wrong.

A Word Is No Longer Enough: a simple no or yes is no longer enough. You find yourself using plenty of words to explain simple actions you take. You strive to make your partner understand the reasons behind your decisions. Meanwhile, your partner is always vague and doesn’t see the need to justify his actions.

Expectations Grow: Your partner wants more from you every time. No matter what you do or how much love you show, they keep asking for more.

You Can’t Lie Anymore. You just cannot lie to your manipulator even when it is an innocent lie and you will never get caught. Simple lies such as telling them you are busy so you could have time for yourself becomes an impossible task.

You feel guilty. You think you are not being a good person and that it’s your entire fault. Even while you are relaxed and idle, you feel guilty that you aren’t using that time to please them in some way.

Obligations: You feel you owe them for loving you or for being in your life. You constantly feel grateful and obligated to them.

Thoughts Of Selfishness: You think you may be selfish for not assisting them in their troubles. Each time you turn down their request, you feel so bad that you may even find it hard to look them in the eyes!

Inability To Say No: you find it hard to say no to them. It’s virtually impossible even if it is the right thing to do.

Others include: you question your sanity, you are berated for doing things you enjoy and you find yourself always planning your life around their schedule.