A MAN AND HIS JEWELRY

CORBIS: (Riff Raff at the 2012 MTV Video Music Awards), Jennifer Graylock/INFphoto.com/Corbis.

UNLESS YOU ARE AN EXCEPTION, AND IT IS POSSIBLE THAT IN FACT YOU ARE, BUT I REALLY DOUBT IT, PLEASE PRACTICE RESTRAINT WHEN IT COMES TO ADORNING YOUR BODY WITH SILVER AND GOLD AND PRECIOUS STONES.

GETTY IMAGES: (Johnny Depp at a Sweeney Todd press conference, Tokyo, 2008), JIL Studio/WireImage.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE JOHNNY DEPP TO GET DRESSED IN THE MORNING—OR IS IT PROBABLY AFTERNOON BY THE TIME HE GETS FINISHED? BUT IF YOU REALLY HAVE TO SHOW THE REST OF US THAT YOU HAVE, IN FACT, RISEN ABOVE, YOU GO GIRL.