“This one goes out to all the vegans…”
H ere is a fun fact: over 60 percent of vegans have never seriously dated another vegan. Considering how passionate we are about this here movement, that is a shocking number, especially because 45 percent of us claim that finding a vegan partner is “very important.” That means many of us are grappling with dating someone whose lifestyle differs from ours…or lying on vegan dating questionnaires. Dating is a social event, and that’s what this chapter is all about—navigating the social arena of dating someone who is intrinsically different.
Being upfront with yourself about what you want will help weed out those who aren’t right for you, before you waste time on second (and twelfth) dates. As we already went over in Chapter 1, you can’t choose who you fall for, but you can ask yourself this question:
Can I love someone who eats animals? If the answer is no, then you may be dabbling in vegansexuality, and should move on ahead to Chapter Four. If the answer is yes, don’t feel guilty or weird about it. Just know that like most things in life, it won’t be easy.
When it comes to relationships, Yoda was wrong. There isn’t only do. Trying is important as well. All relationships take effort, and when committing to someone whose values directly oppose yours, well, it takes even more effort. Sometimes you will triumph. Sometimes you will fail hard. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.
A vegan goes dating…
ZOË: Ahhh, dating. The most awkward of all recreational sports. When getting to know someone, most of us want to walk the fine line of accessibility and mystery. You want to let your personality shine through while simultaneously trying not to terrify anyone. I’ll never forget the look on Daniel’s face the time he stumbled on my copy of The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka. Gulp.
When your date isn’t vegan (you can tell by the steak they just ordered…), you might wonder when it’s appropriate to pepper the vegan informational nugget into conversation. Of course you want to stay honest and true to yourself, but if you’re crushing on your date, you don’t want to freak their freak too soon. Early dating banter usually covers career and hobbies and awkward yet weirdly unifying childhood stories, not deeply rooted philosophical beliefs. Hold out for a moment that seems organic to avoid sounding spastic.
Don’t: “Should we start with drinks? The weather is super weird this week, right? I’m vegan!”
Do: Ask the waiter for the vegan options and let that be the conversation starter.
I’m not saying you should hide your veganism or be ashamed of it! Heck no. But you’re just getting to know someone, so timing is important. I’m wary about chatting religion and politics on a first date, too.
Long before Daniel and I were exclusive, I went on this memorable date with a guy I met at a karaoke bar. It was our first date, and we went to this fancy Indian restaurant. I asked the waiter if the samosas were vegan, and then my date and I started talking about my veganism. Excitedly, he told me that he doesn’t eat dairy because it really activates his IBS. Not knocking IBS, and I do love a good potty joke, but really dude, on the first date? And while I’m eating? No more trolling for dates at karaoke night for this little lady…
AYINDÉ: Yes, first dates definitely tell the tale. I mean, what other black man orders the tofu option for no reason? Or what man in general, for that matter? I’m instantly outed as a vegan once those words exit my mouth. As Ginger and I got further into things, we began to merge our social groups, mainly by hanging out with her coupled-up friends. In the beginning, Ginger would let me pick the restaurant, but if we were out with a group, I would feel weird making everyone eat “my kind of food,” and there were only about three spots in NYC where I would eat. So we basically stuck with ethnic restaurants like Ethiopian and Mexican. I don’t think we ever went to a steak house or a French bistro. I like bread and salad as much as the next guy, but I’m not that kind of vegan who will march into a steak house and demand a full protein vegan option. My chef background gives me some professional courtesy.
Most omnis think veganism is “limiting.” Your omni family, friends, and co-workers expect you to “cheat.” If you’re the type who approaches veganism as a lifestyle, and not a diet, then you probably don’t cheat. I don’t cheat at all, which can create awkward moments when I have to turn down a bite of something that’s “soooo good.” I’m sure it is. But “no thank you” he said, high-horsing-ly.
Ginger has a summer birthday, and it fell during our early months together. She booked a small resort in in the Poconos. We had a nice road trip, and that’s when the lifestyle hiccups began to unfold—how I snack versus how she snacked, how it’s hard to eat at pit stops, and no fast food guilty pleasures. Special occasions were another thing. At her birthday dinner, Ginger had a steak. Like a good omni girlfriend, she called ahead and made sure they had something for me; it was some sort of overly decorated pasta. Over dinner, she asked the second inevitable question: “So how do you handle traveling and stuff, if you can’t eat?” Well, I go where I know I can eat. I’m never unprepared to cook something, or else I’m going to go hungry, and I don’t just get hungry, I get hangry. And I try not to let that happen, so I just grab my nuts, my bag o’ vegan nuts, that is. The point is, these questions—and the vegan’s responses—are very defining. They come up eventually. It showed Ginger what she was getting into. But she shrugged it off, and so did I.
Tips for vegans dating omnis
Okay, so now that we’ve talked about first date etiquette, let’s talk about a few things that can help juice up your relationship when you’re beyond date numero uno but still in the earlyish phases.
Talk about it
ZOË: As you move past the anxiety-riddled first few dates, it’s time to talk more about your rad lifestyle. Yes, rad. You’re really getting to know each other now, so it’s a good time to explain while you always have an emergency stash of almonds in your purse. While it’s good to discuss what you do and do not eat, it’s more important to talk about why. Some vegans would rather not get into the specifics for fear of starting an argument. Some of us get really heated over our food politics. But not me. Nope. Never. While it may be good to avoid heated food debates with semi-strangers in public (or around holiday tables), it’s important to be up front with your Sig-O so they understand you.
If your date is into you, they will hopefully be into learning about this lifestyle you subscribe to, even if they don’t want to sign up themselves. When discussing your veganism, you can gauge their interest by their participation in the conversation. Are they asking questions? Or are they eyeballing their phone while you talk about the terrors of fox farming. I mean, who the eff wears fox fur anymore? What is this, 1922? Whatever, the point is to make sure you’re acknowledged and understood.
WHILE IT’S GOOD TO DISCUSS WHAT YOU DO AnD DO nOT EAT, IT’S mORE iMPORTAnT to talk about why
About six months into our relationship, I overheard Daniel defending my veganism to a mutual friend who didn’t “get it.” Daniel calmly and clearly repeated a few eerily familiar-sounding lines about the depressing state of our country’s agricultural system, the politics of eating meat, and some of the common and cruel industry practices involving animal husbandry and where our “food” comes from. Hearing my own words tumbling out of his mouth made me feel really supported. Don’t go telling everybody, but I think I actually might have teared up a bit. I didn’t know how much I had been heard and understood until Daniel repeated it. It was a pretty gooey moment for me.
AYINDÉ: You can only avoid talking about “it” for so long, and, trust me, they are gonna want to talk about it. You have to show ‘em your passionate side at least once so they know it’s there. Use your vegan ammo about food politics. How, yes, you do remember bacon and no, it’s not helpful when they wave it under your nose. When all else fails, show ‘em the DVD; you know the one. It’s war! Kidding. It’s playful one-upmanship; just replace guns and bombs with love and sex. If they want to fight about food politics, have the argument, but don’t have it to win. Just state your point and let it marinate.
Be proactive and plan ahead
ZOË: Let’s talk about the semi-awkwardness of eating in a space you’re not comfortable in yet. Since Dan and I met in college, fancy dinners for two weren’t an option. What little money we had was spent on more important things, like textbooks and warm beer. My first several nights at Daniel’s, the dinner menu went something like this: first course, spaghetti. Second course, Oreos. This was fun for a sugar-fueled second, but the carb-loading didn’t exactly get my juices going, nor did it meet my nutritional needs. I was a bit self-conscious complaining about the culinary options, because coupledom was still new, and I didn’t want to seem high maintenance. “Make me a seitan pot-pie! Caramelize those onions! What?! No sesame oil? Get outta me.”
Eventually I realized that I could avoid seeming high-maintenance if I planned and packed my own meals. I started showing up with snacks stashed in my purse and would often wander out of
CAN I LOVE somEonE WHO EATS AnimALS?
the bedroom with an apple or a bag of nuts, leaving him to wonder at my resourcefulness…or make a mental note that I was seemingly part of the squirrel family.
Once I got super comfy, I started leaving food in his cabinet and fridge. A little bit of almond milk and some tempeh don’t take up too much real estate, and you could bet his roommates weren’t going to touch the stuff. If you forget to plan, there is always peanut butter and a spoon…
Proactivity also works with things like vegan contraception. I like to get cruelty-free condoms so I don’t have to cringe when my guy whips out his own weapon of choice. I got it covered! Literally…
AYINDÉ: I was not very proactive with Ginger in the beginning. I was lazy, and as I look back, I realize I really didn’t put any effort into choosing places at all. When it came to going out to eat, I let her do the work. Why? Well, I didn’t eat out a lot because I’m a chef, hello. But Ginger loved going out to eat. It was a big part of her life, and when you merge lifestyles you have to be open to new things. So, we’d go out a lot. As I stated before, I like hole-in-the-wall spots, and she liked something with a few stars. Or at least a star. I would think, “You want to eat here, when they have food I can make better myself?” But I still went, because the responsible, adult thing to do is to help your partner, compromise, and not be a dick. I guess I could have titled this point “don’t be a dick.”
Include them at mealtime, and beyond
ZOË: A lot of divided couples cook separate meals, which, in my opinion, sucks hard. Talk about disharmony at the dinner table! Don’t you want to ooh and ahh over the same amazing dish? Connecting over food has always been such an essential part of my relationships. Get down with me at the table, or get on out.
Dinner table divides aside, consider the extra work of creating two separate meals! In many relationships, there is only one cook in the kitchen. I cooked way more than Daniel, who was a professional dish-master in no time. I never cooked two meals, since twice the meals would be twice the hassle, and I had no time for all of that. Plus, I would be damned if I were to cook anything nonvegan. “I love you, but I will never cook you a steak.”
Sometimes, cooking two meals makes logical sense if your eating habits just don’t coexist, like when parents feed their picky toddler hot dogs every night. If one of you is a gourmand while the other prefers plain-Jane buttered noodles, it can be hard to share a meal regardless of the food politics. So, in my opinion, cooking separate meals should be a last ditch option. If it’s either “cook two meals or eat by yourself,” then go for the dual food fix—but your partner better be donning their chef hat along with you!
Food aside, you should also try and include your partner in vegan culture, or any culture you subscribe to. If Daniel could make me sit through a midnight showing of The Avengers, I could take him to a veg food festival, dammit. So include your partner in your restauranteering, your food prep, your cooking. Watch some documentaries with them. Eat good food! Have thought-provoking discussions. Enjoy your differences, because it gives you more to talk about.
AYINDÉ: It sounds crazy when you say “include them.” I mean, you’re in a relationship, of course they’re included. But beware of fatigue. With Ginger, she began to get a little tired of eating vegan at home, and when we ate out, she was tired of not being able to share and have the classic dinner experience. Nobody wants to argue when they are hungry, and it became easy avoid any potential bad vibes by just grabbing meals after work on our own and meeting for drinks or dessert afterward. It was an easy work-around, but be careful—it can also be the beginnings of a wedge.
Choose your battles
ZOË: As your relationship progresses, you will find a nice rhythm for navigating your differences. Maybe it’s okay if your partner eats meat when you’re not around. Maybe you always eat vegan when you dine out, or you take turns picking restaurants every other time. Find out what works, and more importantly, find out where your comfort zone is. Once you’ve located it, stand by it, and let the rest go.
Personally, I don’t make a fuss about what my partner eats as long as it’s not in my living space. If they’re happy with what they’re eating, then who am I to get all up in their food business? Now, if they tried to bring what they’re eating into my kitchen, that’s a different story. No meat my fridge, buddy! But that’s just me. You need to figure out what’s most important to you, and choose those battles. Remember, you chose to be one half of this vegan-fusion couple, so don’t nitpick or harass. Save up your energy for the points that truly matter to you. Let them conquer the small things so you can win it big when it counts. Also, whenever possible, let your fork speak. A good meal is a good meal, no arguments needed.
AYINDÉ: Ditto.
ZOË: This is a hard one. When something makes so much sense to you—like, you know, not harming animals—it can be really frustrating when someone you’re so crazy about just doesn’t get it. But think about how hurt you would be if they judged your lifestyle choices. What if, instead of defending my veganism the way Daniel did, I had overheard him saying “Yeah, she’s vegan. Ugh.” He would have suffered the rest of our relationship on an oral-sexless existence. If your partner isn’t judging you, grant them the same courtesy. You made the decision to date an omnivore, so now you have to suck it up and stand by that decision.
AYINDÉ: I’m a Judgey McJudgerton, I know this. It’s in my eyes; I can’t hide my feelings. I’d say to Ginger that I was okay with her meat-eating, but then I would sit back and judge my little vegan ass off. One morning, I remember Ginger looked up from a hardboiled egg to see what must have been abject loathing on my face. She said, “Wow, you really don’t like eggs, huh?” I didn’t even know what my face was doing, but it was one of those moments where I said one thing and meant the exact opposite.
Be compassionate
ZOË: That’s what we’re all about, right? This goes along with non-judgment, but takes it a step further. As important as it is to not feel judged, it is also important to feel supported. It made me so happy when Daniel would check a menu online to see if I could eat there, or scanned ingredients on labels before offering me some of his snack. And so I tried to shoot it right back at him. I didn’t wrinkle my nose when he ordered a beef burger or ate chicken at a barbecue. I did, however, refuse to kiss him post hot dog because those things are potent! Hot dog breath for days. Nasty.
AYINDÉ: There is a Sanskrit mantra, Lokah Samhasta Sukino Bhavantu, which means:
“May all beings be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and freedom for all.”
This is where I had to practice REAL veganism. We often forget to be compassionate to each other, much like our ethical vegan front-liners. But when you date an omnivore, you are signing up to be a teacher. Even though I said don’t try to convert them, and I mean it, when you form a bond with someone and are in close proximity to them on a daily basis, you will learn from them, and also teach them. That’s what happens in all relationships. It’s natural. Love is our greatest teacher.
The best teachers are compassionate, and attentive, and hot. Remember, it works both ways—we learn from each other, so be strong in your choices. Because of the close proximity and not wanting to be the odd man out in your own home, some will go into a relationship vegan and come out omni.
Kristin Lajeunesse, Will Travel for Vegan Food
“It’s only when you are comfortable and happy being with yourself that you can be happy and in a healthy relationships with someone else. I know it sounds cliché, but I’ve learned first-hand that it’s true. Because what happens is this: you create a life for yourself that you love by doing things that you love. This might sound woo-woo-y, but by doing those things, you energetically attract other people who love those things too. You’ll naturally be drawn to and pull in someone who will help you grow, become a better human, and aid in the happiness and love that you’ve created for yourself. I like to say that I’m not looking for someone who is good for me, but someone who is good with me. And vice versa. I wish to be good with someone, not for them.”
Let their fork do the convincing…
Tortilla Chips with Refried Chipotle-Lemon Pinto Beans
Sweet and Savory Blue Cornmeal Cornbread
Tuscan Quinoa Pilaf Stuffed Peppers
Hearts of Baltimore Crab Cakes
Tempeh Fries with Dill Avocado Dip
“At the very core of relationships that work is respect. I don’t expect my partner to think the way I do, act the way I do, or love every cause I take up. I do, however, expect respect. And I expect to be respectful in return. That often means communicating and establishing boundaries early, and often, in a relationship. All of these years later it’s my husband who says “I follow an omnivore diet and can eat anything. Let’s make something (or go somewhere where) we can both eat.” –
Prep time: 5 minutes | Cook time: 15 minutes | Serves 2
I first started working with hearts of palm for a traditional vegan crab cake recipe. But then I thought, what else could I make in the seafood family? Aha! A lobster roll. I re-imagined this New England summertime favorite with South and Central American palm cabbage, while maintaining traditional flavors and textures. Thanks, globalization!
2 ½ tablespoons grapeseed or safflower oil
1 (14-ounce) can hearts of palm (not packed with sugar), drained and roughly chopped to the consistency of crab meat
¼ cup chopped celery
¼ cup diced red bell pepper
½ cup chopped onion
1 teaspoon minced garlic
2 teaspoons Old Bay seasoning
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
¼ cup vegan mayonnaise
2 (6-inch) hoagie rolls
Vegan butter
Lemon wedges, to serve
1. Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the hearts of palm and sauté for 8 to 10 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking. Cook until golden brown on all sides. Set aside to cool. Add the celery and peppers and mix well.
2. Heat ½ tablespoon oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the onion and sauté until translucent, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the garlic and sauté for 1 minute.
3. Remove from the heat and add the onion mixture to the hearts of palm. Mix well. Add the Old Bay seasoning, lemon juice, and mayo.
4. Toast the hoagie rolls until golden brown and butter the insides.
5. Divide the hearts of palm mixture between both rolls. Serve warm with wedges of lemon.
Tortilla Chips with Refried Chipotle-Lemon Pinto Beans
Prep time: 8 minutes | Cook time: 10 minutes | Serves 4 | GF, SF
Okay, I’m gonna be frank—this is your après-amour snack. It’s more of a “what you have in the kitchen” meal, which everyone knows is the best kind of midnight munch, when the stores are closed, and you’ve worked up an appetite. Everyone has a bag (or half-eaten bag) of tortillas, a can of beans, and herbs and spices. Eat up, and get ready for round two!
DIP
1 tablespoon coconut oil
1 tablespoon grapeseed or safflower oil
½ cup minced onion
1 dried chipotle chile, stemmed, seeded, and minced
½ jalapeñ chile, stemmed, seeded, and minced
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 (15-ounce) can vegan refried pinto beans
½ teaspoon ground cumin
½ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
½ teaspoon salt (more to taste)
CHIPS
6 (5-inch) corn tortillas, cut into quarters
½ cup safflower oil
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon nutritional yeast
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon chipotle powder
1. Dip: Heat the oils in a medium skillet over medium-high heat until hot. Add the onion and sauté until translucent, approximately 5 minutes.
2. Add the garlic and cook for 1 minute.
3. Add the pinto beans and mix well. Cook for approximately 5 more minutes on medium-low. Add cumin, salt, peppers, and lemon juice. Taste and adjust the seasonings, if needed.
4. Chips: Heat the oil in a medium skillet over medium-high heat until hot. Arrange tortilla wedges in the skillet so that they do not overlap, and cook until browned on both sides. Repeat until all the chips are done.
5. Place chips in a bowl lined with paper towels. Season the chips with salt, nutritional yeast, chili powder, paprika, and chipotle powder. Serve with the dip.
Pro-Tip: For more spicy heat, add the jalapeño seeds to the dip.
Sweet and Savory Blue Cornmeal Cornbread
Prep time: 5 minutes | Cook time: 35 minutes | Serves 4 | SF
One of my Twitter followers said you should always have ingredients for cake in the pantry. Well, growing up in a southern household, we always had ingredients for cornbread. To spice it up a little, I like to use blue cornmeal and veggies. It’s a twist on a traditional dish, cooked up in a cast-iron pan. Enjoy!
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup blue cornmeal
⅔ cup granulated sugar
3 ½ teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
Egg replacer for 1 egg (here)
1 cup water
⅓ cup plus 2 teaspoons grapeseed or safflower oil, divideda
1 cup unsweetened almond milk
1 cup roughly chopped red onion
2 teaspoons garlic
2 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary
1 teaspoon chopped fresh sage
1 teaspoon dried basil
½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
1. Grease a cast iron skillet or casserole dish with a little oil. Set aside. Preheat the oven to 350°F.
2. In a large bowl, combine the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, and salt.
3. In a separate bowl, combine the egg mixture with ⅓ cup oil and the almond milk. Mix well.
4.Using a rubber spatula, fold the wet ingredients gently into the dry ingredients.
5. In a medium skillet over medium high heat, heat the remaining 2 teaspoons oil. Add the onion and sauté until it become translucent. Add the garlic, rosemary, sage, basil, and red pepper flakes and sauté for 1 to 2 minutes.
6. Use a rubber spatula to fold the vegetable mixture into the cornmeal mixture. Pour the mixture into the prepared skillet and bake for 35 minutes. Test by pressing a toothpick into the center. If it comes out clean, it’s done.
Tuscan Quinoa Pilaf Stuffed Peppers
Prep time: 10 minutes | Cook time: 45 minutes | Serves 2 | GF, SFO
My quinoa pilafs were a favorite. Ginger and I even joked about moving to Austin to start a quinoa business together. Ah, those were the days. Anyway, I was always experimenting with new quinoa recipes. Our weekly Sunday dinners became my test kitchen set. I experimented with a variety of flavors—Mexican, Italian, and more. Eventually, we landed on a favorite staple: Tuscan quinoa. I love the combination of colored bell peppers; the subtle, sweet flavor of red, green, and orange peppers is delicious when stuffed with this nutty, savory quinoa hash. It’s light, yet satiating. This recipe can be used as an hors d’oeuvre or an entrée. Use a soy-fee vegan cheese to make this soy-free.
5 cups water, divided
½ cup quinoa, well rinsed
¼ cup grapeseed or safflower oil
¼ cup chopped onion
¼ cup chopped red bell pepper
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary
1 teaspoon chopped fresh sage
1 teaspoon ground fennel seed
2 tablespoon capers, divided
Salt
4 small bell peppers, any color, tops sliced off, seeded and cored
½ cup shredded vegan mozzarella or your fave vegan cheese
1. In a medium saucepan over medium-high heat, bring 1 cup of the water to a boil. Add the quinoa and lower the heat to medium. Cover and cook until the water evaporates, 10 to 15 minutes. Preheat the oven to 350°F.
2. Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion and sauté until translucent, 3 to 5 minutes. Add the bell pepper, garlic, rosemary, sage, and fennel seed. Sauté for 1 minute.
3. Stir in the cooked quinoa. Mix well and continue to sauté for approximately 5 minutes. Add 1 tablespoon of the capers and salt to taste. Remove from the heat.
4. Bring the remaining 4 cups of water to a boil. Add 1 tablespoon of salt to pot of boiling water. Using tongs, add the peppers to the boiling water and boil for about 5 minutes, until the color of the peppers brightens. Remove with tongs and drain. Cool peppers to room temperature.
5. Using a spoon, stuff the quinoa mixture into the peppers, packing down until filled. Set the peppers in a cupcake pan and cover each of the peppers with shredded cheese. Bake for 15 minutes. Remove from the oven and top with the remaining 1 tablespoon capers. Serve hot.
Hearts of Baltimore Crab Cakes
Prep time: 10 minutes | Cook time: 10 minutes | Serves 2 | GF, SFO
The very first time I went to Baltimore to visit my mom’s side of the family, they wanted to take me to Inner Harbor for crab cakes. My mom told them we were vegan, but the family was like “No baby, it’s not meat, just crab.” Clearly we did not indulge, but they talked so much about these crab cakes, I was interested in learning what the fuss was about. Maryland crab cakes are traditionally oversized, and I wanted to recreate them using hearts of palm and traditional seasonings. I make them gluten-free and pair them with a garlicky dill aïoli. I don’t know if it’s spot on, but from what I hear, it’s pretty darn close. Use a soy-free mayo to make this soy-free.
GARLICKY DILL AïOLI
½ cup vegan mayonnaise
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon chopped fresh dill
1 teaspoon minced garlic
CRAB CAKES
3 tablespoons grapeseed or safflower oil, divided, plus more for frying
1 (14-ounce) can hearts of palm, (not packed in sugar), roughly chopped to the consistency of crab meat
¼ cup chopped celery
¼ cup diced red bell pepper
½ cup chopped onion
2 teaspoons minced garlic
2 teaspoons Old Bay Seasoning
1 teaspoon cornstarch
¼ cup vegan mayonnaise
BREADING
½ cup gluten-free bread crumbs, or more
1 tablespoon Old Bay Seasoning
Lemon wedges, to serve
Pro-Tip: If hearts of palm and vegan mayo are not available in your area, you can find them by searching online under the shopping tab on Google.
1. Garlicky Dill Aïoli: Combine all the ingredients in a small bowl. Mix well and add salt and pepper to taste. Set in the fridge to keep cool.
2. Crab Cakes: Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the hearts of palm and sauté for 8 to 10 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking. Cook until golden brown on all sides. Set aside to cool. Add the celery and peppers and mix well.
3. Heat 1 tablespoon of the oil in a skillet over medium-heat heat. Add the onions and sauté until translucent, 2 to 3 minutes. Add the garlic and sauté for 1 minute.
4. Remove from the heat, add to the hearts of palm, and mix well. Add the Old Bay seasoning, cornstarch, and mayo.
5. Transfer the mixture to a mixing bowl and mix well. Set aside to cool to room temperature, then shape the mixture into four round patties.
6. Breading: In a shallow bowl, combine the bread crumbs and Old Bay seasoning, stirring to mix. Coat the patties with the breadcrumb mixture and refrigerate for 20 minutes.
7. Heat about 3 tablespoons oil in a medium skillet over medium-high heat until hot and shimmering. Carefully place the patties in the skillet and cook until golden brown on each side, approximately 2 minutes per side. Watch closely to prevent burning.Transfer the cooked patties to a plate lined with paper towels to drain any excess oil. Serve hot, topped with the aïoli, with lemon wedges on the side.
Tempeh Fries with Dill Avocado Dip
Prep time: 5 minutes | Cook time: 10 minutes | Serves 2 | GF
I started working with tempeh in my NYC executive chef days and revisited this sprouted soy protein while touring with India.Arie. There are a million different ways to use it, and I found that out because it was the only soy protein India could eat. Once, while I was in the process of making a braised tempeh dish, she ate a piece of plain cooked tempeh which was cooling on a plate. She then continued to eat all of them off the plate, just like that. “Can you make fries?” she asked me? “No, you make fries with potatoes,” I responded. But, since the client gets what the client wants, I decided to try it. Next, I needed a dip. India’s diet restricted acids and mayo, so it had to be something else creamy and savory. Enter the avocado. When I paired it with dill, I was thinking ranch, and the combination is quite excellent.
¼ cup grapeseed or safflower oil
1 (8-ounce) package tempeh, cut into French fry sized sticks
Salt and black pepper
2 cloves garlic, chopped
¼ cup chopped fresh dill
1 cup water
1 ripe avocado, halved, pitted, and peeled
1 tablespoon grapeseed or safflower oil
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1. Heat the oil in a medium skillet over medium-high heat until hot and shimmering. Add the tempeh and cook until golden brown on all sides, turning the tempeh with tongs, 5 to 7 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Use tongs to remove the tempeh from the skillet and transfer to a paper towel.
2. In a blender, combine the garlic, dill, water, avocado, oil, and lemon juice. Blend until combined. Be careful not to overblend, as this will change the consistency of the avocado. Season with salt to taste.
3. Transfer the dip to a serving bowl. Serve with the tempeh fries. If not serving right away, press a sheet of plastic wrap snugly on the surface of the dip to limit oxygen exposure and prevent the dip from turning brown.
“At first I wasn’t too open to the idea of the person I was dating becoming a vegan. I think it was because I didn’t understand it and it just seemed like a hassle to cook separate meals. But when you are in a relationship things change and you have to adapt to keep her happy.” –
Braised Tempeh with Carrot Chips
Prep time: 10 minutes | Cook time: 25 minutes | Serves 2 to 4 | GF
While singer India.Arie was in the process of making her album, she would occasionally have dinner parties. As her personal chef, that meant I was cooking. At this point, I was reinventing tempeh in as many ways as possible, so she wouldn’t become bored. The flavor, temperature, and texture of this dish are usually found in a more high-end restaurant, with the cool crispness of the carrots contrasting the heat of the tempeh. When approaching this recipe, be sure to follow the instructions closely, paying attention to temperatures to create the max affect. It is a great hors d’oeuvre.
¼ cup safflower oil
4 ounces tempeh, cut crosswise into ⅛-inch slices
½ cup diced onion
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon dried sage
½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
½ teaspoon dried basil
½ teaspoon dried thyme
¼ cup low-sodium wheat-free tamari
¼ cup water
2 large carrots, peeled
2 tablespoons chopped scallion, for garnish
1. Heat the oil in a medium skillet over medium-high heat until hot and shimmering. Add the tempeh and cook until golden brown on all sides, 5 to 7 minutes. With tongs, remove the tempeh from the skillet and set aside on a paper-towel-lined plate.
2. In the same skillet, add the onion and sauté until translucent, 2 to 3 minutes.
3.Add the garlic, sage, red pepper flakes, basil, and thyme. Stir in the tamari and water and add the tempeh back into the skillet. Cover and braise on low heat for 10 to 15 minutes.
4. Cut the carrots on the diagonal, about ⅛-inch thick, roughly the same length as the tempeh. You should have approximately 12 slices. Place the carrot slices in the refrigerator and keep cold until ready to serve.
5. To serve, arrange the chilled carrots on plate, place a piece of hot tempeh on top of each carrot slice, and garnish with chopped green onion. Serve as an appetizer or main meal.
Prep time: 15 minutes | Cook time: 45 minutes | Makes 8 slices
When brainstorming holiday main dishes, I asked my Facebook friends what holiday food they missed most, and I heard a resounding “OMG I miss pot pie.” You had me at pie; say no more. I took on this savory American classic. This is gravy, veggies, and a fluffy crust all in one magical pie. Why devil’s pie? Well, the wordplay on seitan has become a tradition in just about every menu I make. It’s a signature, kinda like Carol Burnett’s ear-tug thing. (This means nothing if you’re under 30.)
1 double pie crust (double quiche crust recipe, here)
3 tablespoons vegan butter
1 tablespoon refined coconut oil
1 cup chopped leeks, white and light green parts only
½ cup chopped celery
1 cup chopped carrots
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon minced habanero chiles, stemmed, seeded, and minced
1 tablespoon minced fresh sage
2 teaspoons dried basil
2 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme
⅓ cup all-purpose flour
1 ¾ cups vegetable broth
1 tablespoon low-sodium wheat-free tamari
½ cup unsweetened soy milk
2 cups asparagus, woody ends removed, cut into ½-inch pieces
1 cup frozen peas
1 ½ cups diced seitan (see Note)
1. Make the pie crust as directed. Arrange the bottom pie crust in a pie plate and set it in the freezer. Preheat the oven to 375°F.
2. In a medium saucepan over medium-high heat, melt the vegan butter and coconut oil. Add the leeks, celery, carrots, garlic, habaneros, sage, basil, and thyme. Sauté until the vegetables are tender, 5 to 7 minutes. Whisk in the flour, mixing constantly. This should brown into a light roux. Add the broth, tamari, and soy milk, whisking until thickened. Fold in the asparagus, peas and seitan. Cook for an additional 5 minutes on low simmer.
3. Add the mixture to the pie shell and top with your second pie shell, crimping the edge to seal. Brush the top crust with a little oil. Poke a few holes in the top to vent the steam. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes. You can tell when it’s done when it’s a golden brown color and smells like pot pie! Remove from the oven and allow to sit for several minutes before serving.
Note: You can use storebought seitan if you like, but if you want to make your own, make a half batch of the seitan recipe on here.
Pro-Tip: Use gloves when cutting the habañero chile, and wash your cutting board with soap and warm water afterward.
Elizabeth Castoria, author of How to Be Vegan
“Before I started seeing my current guy, I had only seriously dated vegans for the last ten–ish years. I honestly thought that I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who didn’t think about animals in the same way I do, that it would be too surreal and sad to watch someone eat animals routinely. With previous dudes, having veganism in common was a huge part of my identity within the relationship. But when Ricky came along, we started seeing each other without having any intention of getting into a relationship. About a year later, we realized that we were in love. We’d already built a solid relationship, in which we accepted each other and didn’t have any expectations for the other person, so it wasn’t weird to me that he ate meat.
The best tip I can give is just to really be honest with yourself—which is pretty important in all aspects of relationships. Also, be with someone who enhances your life.”
