THE LIVING ROOM

Well worn and threadbare. Not messy but cheap. Really cheap. Matching chairs and couch. TV in the corner, on and loud.

CAMMIE stands drinking a can of Coke and smoking. Thirty-eight, she chooses clothing that makes her look younger, if a little foolish. Wears her hair long. She yawns loudly.

SHARI is on the sofa, sorting a few bottles of formula and the like in a soiled diaper bag. She is twenty-one, very thin and sexy, although her face is plain and almost sad. A baby cries in one of the other rooms.

CAMMIE

—fucking pooped, huh?

SHARI

Yeah.

CAMMIE

And it’s only hump day. Believe that? Still got two more to go—

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SHARI

Uh-huh.

CAMMIE

How’s the baby?

SHARI

’S kinda colicky.

CAMMIE

Yeah, poor thing. Keeping any milk down ’em?

SHARI

Little bit.

CAMMIE

He’s gonna be all right . . . Darrell went through the same thing. Worse, probably.

SHARI

Yeah?

CAMMIE

Shit . . . like he was gonna bust apart, screaming and crying just like that, day after day. Drove me crazy—

SHARI

I know.

CAMMIE

I mean, God . . . you don’t know what the hell to do! New mom, middle ’a the night. You just feel like knocking the shit outta them—

SHARI

Yep.

CAMMIE

—anything, just to shut ’em up.

SHARI

I know what ya mean. Sometimes I just crank the stereo and zone out, you know, kick back and say, “fuck it,” cry if ya wanna, I gotta take a break—

CAMMIE

Right.

SHARI

—and I don’t think that’s so wrong or whatever, I really don’t.

CAMMIE

Me neither. He don’t die from it, does he?

SHARI

Exactly. Little hungry or wet himself, hey, so hold on a second. You grow up, you wait for shit all the time—

CAMMIE

Every day.

SHARI

Every day ’a your life, true, so I don’t think you oughta just jump up whenever they start wailing like that . . . just teaches ’em bad manners, really.

CAMMIE

That’s what it is.

SHARI

Seriously . . . and false expectations ’a things. ’Cause life isn’t like that, with people all down on one knee for ya when you need ’em, just gotta cry out or say, “hey, I want this or that.” ’S totally not that way at all—

CAMMIE

I agree. (pointing at a bottle) You want me to throw one ’a them in the microwave for ya?

SHARI

Nah . . . he likes ’em cold, fine. I mean, room temp or whatnot.

CAMMIE

’Kay.

(CAMMIE looks up at the sound of a car door.)

Oh. Here comes Rich—

RICH enters the house, swinging a lunch pail. Thirty-three or so, plain-faced but muscular. He looks at SHARI sternly for a moment, then walks over and kisses CAMMIE on the cheek.

SHARI

Hey, Rich—

RICH

’S up?

CAMMIE

I, ahh, called Shari to gimme a lift home from work, hope that was okay.

RICH

Uh-huh.

SHARI

We didn’t mind . . . nice to get out.

RICH (to CAMMIE)

Could’ve taken the Impala today.

CAMMIE

No, see, that’s why I called her. Got a bunch ’a oil and stuff, dripping down.

RICH

What?

CAMMIE

Well, looks like oil . . . kinda reddish, but thick. ’S all over the driveway.

RICH

Fuck.

CAMMIE

You didn’t see it out there?

RICH

No . . . (BEAT) Shit, just got it back!

The baby cries out; RICH makes a motion toward SHARI.

SHARI

Sorry.

RICH

’S fine. I mean, if it doesn’t bother you

SHARI

Right, yeah, I was just gonna—

RICH

’S a baby, they do shit like that. Cry.

SHARI

—I know, but—

RICH

You do? Huh. Well, that’s something, I guess . . . at least you know it.

A moment of silence between them all; the child whimpers.

CAMMIE

Anyway, that was nice of Shari, did me a favor—

RICH

Right. Yeah—

SHARI

No problem . . . we were planning on coming over tonight, anyway. Bought a new video for us, that one comedy one.

RICH

Oh.

CAMMIE (to RICH)

Just to watch the tape. Not dinner.

SHARI

No, I’m gonna grab something on the way, I mean, unless—

RICH

—great.

RICH pulls off his sweatshirt and moves to the sofa. He kicks back as he fires up a cig. Grabs up the remote. Phone rings and CAMMIE picks it up.

CAMMIE

H’lo. Yep. Uh-huh. Right. Oh well. Yeah. Whatever. No. Fuck no. Nevermind. Fine. ’Kay. Later. (to the others) ’S just Darrell—

RICH

Fuck’s he want, calling?

CAMMIE

Ride over to the mall.

RICH

Shit.

CAMMIE

I told ’em “no.”

RICH

Good. (to the remote) The hell is . . . ?

CAMMIE

Cable’s out.

RICH (tossing the remote)

Jesus Christ! Nice place—

CAMMIE

Hey

RICH

You mail the bill or not?

CAMMIE

Yes, I mailed the fuckin’ bill.

RICH

Well, then what’s up?

CAMMIE

I dunno. You flip ’em on, you get snow.

RICH

Really?

SHARI

Yeah, anything above seven is fuzzy.

RICH

And you did the little wire thing in the back?

CAMMIE

Shit, Rich, do I look retarded to you?

RICH

Kinda—

CAMMIE (smiling)

Fuck you

RICH

Forget it, you’re too old for me.

CAMMIE

Prick.

RICH blows her a kiss. She pretends to eat it.

SHARI

—mine went out last week, too.

RICH

Yeah, but you can’t afford cable.

CAMMIE

Rich!

RICH

What, I’m just saying—

SHARI

It’s okay—

RICH

I just mean you don’t pay for it, you had that neighbor guy ’a yours do that thing with the back ’a the box, that’s all I mean. It goes out you can’t really be weeping about it . . . this is different.

CAMMIE

Still don’t gotta say it like that.

RICH

What?!

SHARI

Not a big deal.

RICH

Exactly.

CAMMIE

Anyhow, we still got all the other channels—

RICH

What “others”?

CAMMIE

The regular ones.

RICH

“Regular?” Only “regular” thing on the whole fucking tube is Sports Channel—

CAMMIE

Listen to ’em. You got the ABC, CBS and NBC. Plus that PBS thing—

CAMMIE slides in next to him and takes a hit off his smoke.

RICH

Oh, cool, that’s fucking great . . . you think I’m gonna do, watch Nova? ’S not about cars

CAMMIE

No. I’m just telling ya—

RICH

Whatever.

A moment of silence between them all. Only the baby crying.

SHARI

Ummm . . . could I get a drag, Rich?

RICH nods and SHARI slips down on the other side of him. He puts his hand up and she reaches her mouth forward, sucking deeply off his cigarette.

RICH

Well, ain’t this just cozy?

CAMMIE

Ummm-hmmm—

They all giggle. CAMMIE lays her head on RICH’s shoulder. RICH puts his free hand on her shoulder while keeping an eye on SHARI.

SHARI

Hey. I got that tape in the car, should I go and . . .

(They both look over at SHARI; she stops cold.)

. . . maybe I oughta take off.

RICH gets back up, leaving his sweatshirt where it fell. He heads for the door.

RICH

Worry about it . . . I’m gonna go pull the Chevy in the garage, take a look at it. You guys go back to your girlie shit or whatever—

CAMMIE

Oh yeah, that’s us.

SHARI

Right.

RICH (to SHARI)

—or you might wanna go hold your kid a second, get him to fuckin’ shut up. That might be something to do.

RICH smiles and exits. CAMMIE looks over at SHARI, but neither one of them make a move for the baby.

CAMMIE

So—

SHARI

Yeah.

CAMMIE

—don’t listen to that. He’s tired.

SHARI

Right.

CAMMIE

No big thing.

SHARI

’Kay.

CAMMIE

—what tape’d you get, anyway?

SHARI

You know. That one comedy one.

CAMMIE

Oh, right. Good. That’ll be good.

SHARI slowly lays her head down in CAMMIE’s lap. CAMMIE plays with her hair as SHARI closes her eyes. The baby continues to cry.