THE LIVING ROOM

Same as before, but with trays set up for dinner. The TV is blaring a game show.

CAMMIE, RICH and DARRELL take up the two chairs and sofa, hunched over their respective meals.

RICH

—fucking salmon loaf, huh?

DARRELL

Yeah.

CAMMIE

Hey, don’t start, okay,’cause I’m gonna throw my plate at both ’a you, keep ripping this stuff to shreds.

RICH

What?

CAMMIE

Tastes like shit, I can’t help it. I still gotta cook it, takes time to prepare it, doesn’t it?

image

DARRELL

I’m not saying nothing.

RICH

Well, I am—(BEAT) Tastes like some thing. Something bad. Fish. I hate that—

CAMMIE looks at him but says nothing. DARRELL glances over, smiling.

DARRELL

The fuck you think salmon is, Rich?

RICH

Should I know? Fucking gourmet chef, some TV show? I’m saying what it tastes like, not what it is.

DARRELL

Oh man . . . listen, you gotta be kidding me, right? “Salmon.” He’s just giving me shit, isn’t he, Mom?

CAMMIE

I dunno.

RICH

I’ll give you shit, pal, piece ’a this salmon loaf, ’ever the fuck it is, all over your Zeppelin shirt.

CAMMIE (barely amused)

You two’re like a couple brats over at nursery school. Drive me nuts I gotta work there all day, come home find my babies going at it. Knock it off and eat.

(DARRELL makes a face and RICH smiles. He throws a piece of his dinner at DARRELL, who ducks.)

Hey, I said enough!

RICH reaches over from his chair and pulls her close. She gives in and they kiss deeply while DARRELL slips part of his salmon onto RICH’s plate.

DARRELL

Careful there, Rich, fucking tongue ’a hers’ll be snaking down your throat—

CAMMIE glares at DARRELL and they all eat in silence for a few moments.

RICH (to DARRELL)

Hey, you wanna go to the track with me, Friday night?

DARRELL

What’s going on?

RICH

I need a date

DARRELL

Figures.

RICH punches DARRELL and they wrestle from where they’re sitting.

RICH

Stock cars’re coming in, two weeks only. Got tickets from work.

DARRELL

That’s cool.

CAMMIE

We’re going tomorrow night, but thought you’d wanna go with Rich alone. Check out the “babes—”

RICH

No shit.

(She punches RICH on the arm.)

Oww!!

CAMMIE

Be nice, two of you get out and do something. Right?

DARRELL

Yeah. Can Tim go with us?

RICH

Sure. Gotta pay full admit, though. Only two discounts per night. Per person.

DARRELL

No prob’. His mom’s good for cash. Hint, hint—

CAMMIE

Uh-uh, I don’t give a shit, I earn my money. You wanna buy hot dogs, sneak a beer, you need to round up your own, Sweetie—

DARRELL

Just kiddin’ ya.

RICH

Maybe we can slip ’em in, trunk or some deal ’til we get inside the gates. Save us a couple bucks we’ll get a pizza—

DARRELL

Cool. (BEAT) You get enough air, closed up space like that?

RICH

Fuck yeah. Go for miles in there.

DARRELL

Yeah?

RICH

No problem at all. What do you think, Cammie?

CAMMIE

Long as his Mom knows—

DARRELL

Great! No, that’d be really great. (BEAT) Shari going, or she gonna hit the Thursday show with you guys?

CAMMIE

Nah, she can’t get a sitter.

RICH

Can’t afford it.

CAMMIE

Rich.

DARRELL

Oh.

(Silence settles over them as DARRELL picks at his food. RICH and CAMMIE exchange looks.)

So, Rich, how’s the car? Don’t trust those fuckers down the shop.

RICH

Still got a lotta trannie fluid dripping. I’m gonna take it back over, maybe Monday, give ’em hell—

DARRELL

Yeah?

RICH

Fuck yes. Get to the bottom ’a this.

DARRELL

Oh. (BEAT) So, then, where’s the . . .?

CAMMIE

It’s in the garage. And don’t even think about it.

A moment passes.

RICH

Hey, Babe, you get me a beer?

CAMMIE

Shit . . . you’re a real bargain, you know?

RICH

Better believe it.

They kiss again, then CAMMIE stretches and smiles, tossing a look at DARRELL as she goes.

She’s a great woman. You know that, right?

DARRELL

Whatever, man.

RICH nods and stands, moving his tray out of the way and crossing to the door. He swings it open and fires up a smoke, holding his Lucky Strike outside.

RICH

So how’s school?

DARRELL

Fucked.

RICH

Yeah. (BEAT) I went there, you knew that, right?

DARRELL

Uh-huh.

RICH

That ol’ bitch in the office still there? Miss Pinch-Ass, something, her name—

DARRELL

Dickers? Kinda orange hair—

RICH

Shit yes! Fucking Dickers! That’s her . . . What a cunt.

DARRELL

Oh yeah.

They share a brief smile as DARRELL bums a cigarette.

RICH

Blow it out here . . . hate the smell, love the fucking taste. What can I tell ya?

DARRELL

Right.

RICH

—hey, piece of advice?

DARRELL

Mmm?

RICH

Giving you a clue, pal . . . get the fuck outta here, you got the chance.

DARRELL

Huh?

RICH

Your step-sister’s coming over. Bringing her fucking kid, gonna watch some kinda bullshit tape she bought. Sorry I ever lugged that fucking machine home now, know what I mean?

DARRELL

No shit. And bringing the baby?

RICH

Fuck else she gonna do with it?

DARRELL

Oh man—

RICH

Love to punt that little fucker into the next county! Crying his ass off all night, stinking up the place. Can’t take that shit, day of humping fifty pounders ’a dog chow all over hell—

DARRELL

Yeah, I’m with ya.

They each take a drag, then RICH looks back inside.

RICH (to CAMMIE)

Honey, the fuck you doing, brewing the shit youself?!

DARRELL laughs and RICH winks at him.

DARRELL

Listen, I’m gonna take off. That kid hits me with a rattle or something, liable to fling ’em out the fucking window.

RICH

I’ll hold it open for ya, buddy, believe me!

DARRELL gives him a sympathy pat on the shoulder as RICH fakes a jab at him. They spar for a moment, which turns quickly into wrestling. DARRELL loses.

DARRELL

Hey, come on! You fucking want me!! You like me, don’t ya, you do—

RICH

Little prick, come on! Get off!! You are a squirrelly motherfucker—

RICH sits on top of him now, twisting his arm.

DARRELL

’Kay, oww, shit, I give!!

RICH laughs and pulls DARRELL to his feet. They slap at each other and then DARRELL grabs his coat.

RICH

The fuck outta here . . .

(DARRELL smiles and disappears out into the night. RICH looks around as he lights up again. After a moment, CAMMIE appears with two beers.)

Hey.

CAMMIE

Hi. (BEAT) Where’d Darrell go?

RICH

I dunno, took off. He’s your kid. (BEAT) Why’d you take so long?

CAMMIE

Called my daughter—

RICH

Step. Step-daughter.

CAMMIE

You know what I mean. Told her to come in an hour. Give us some time to clean up . . . (BEAT) Did you tell Darrell they were coming?

RICH

Nah.

CAMMIE

’Cause he likes playing with the baby.

RICH

Hmmm. Maybe he went to get smokes or something, not sure.

CAMMIE nods and leans back into RICH’s arms; he offers her a drag on his cig. She takes it and closes her eyes.

CAMMIE

—nice.

RICH

Tired?

CAMMIE

A little.

RICH

You wanna lay down or whatever . . . I can do up the dishes.

(CAMMIE laughs softly at the thought of this. RICH smiles.)

Fuck you . . . I could.

CAMMIE

That’s okay. Just gonna rest a second . . . You gotta say “screw this” every once in awhile, you know, and kick back. You do.

RICH

Yep.

RICH kisses the top of her head. She responds and turns to him as they begin to kiss passionately in the open doorway.

CAMMIE

Mmmmmmm . . . hey, you tell ’em his dad called?

RICH

Yeah, I mentioned it, yeah.

CAMMIE

You did?

RICH

Uh-huh . . . said he’d call him later.

CAMMIE

’Kay. (BEAT) Think he wants Darrell to come down and stay with ’em again this summer. Like he did two years ago—

RICH

Fine with me.

CAMMIE

Yeah, I don’t care. Whatever.

RICH

Exactly.

CAMMIE nods, then goes back to kissing RICH. They slide up roughly against the jam and continue.