CHAPTER 4

The next morning, I was feeling good. I’d slept properly for the first time in four nights, rolling over and snuggling into my doona without a sharp wake-up call from my knee. It was improving fast. The swelling had gone down, leaving an ugly old purple bruise – a shadow of the pain I’d been in. The knee was still tender but I could bend it further and it was getting stronger. More like the way Supergirl should be.

The morning was crisp and crunchy-cold. I waited for Rene before school at our usual spot beside the front gate, rubbing my hands together then forming them into a cave and blowing in hot air.

Then I started testing my knee – adding weight, trying different ways of stepping, wondering if I could leave my crutches at home the next day.

By the time the first bell sounded, Rene still hadn’t turned up, which was weird. I hooked my backpack over my shoulder. Maybe she was home sick. She did have a major history assignment due at the end of the week – about ancient human societies or something. Maybe she was faking a sickie to finish.

I turned around and jerked in surprise. Rene had rushed up behind me, flushed and out of breath. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun, making her look careless and classy at the same time.

‘You’ll never believe what just happened!’ she whispered, clutching her hands under her chin and rocking on the balls of her feet. ‘It’s so, so, so unbelievable!’

The other kids around us were disappearing up the path.

I let my bag drop. ‘What?’ I asked, with a sinking feeling.

‘Marco asked me to GO OUT WITH HIM!’ Rene squealed. ‘Can you believe it?’

I swallowed, trying to ignore the unnerving truth that she’d been spending time with Marco while I waited . . .

‘Really?’ I forced a smile.

Rene knew me better than that. ‘Come on, be happy for me, Jade.’ She held my hands and looked clear into my eyes. ‘This is a big deal for me.’

Her voice was soft and close. I didn’t know what to say. ‘I am happy for you Rennie . . .’ I trailed off as a million icky images of lips and straight teeth went through my mind. ‘Just as long as he treats you well . . .’ I tried.

Treats me well!’ Rene let go of my hands, laughing, and pulled up her sleeve. ‘How’s this for treating me well?’

A gold bracelet sparkled on her wrist with ‘Ren’ engraved on it. I hadn’t realised that they were so far down this road.

For a long moment Rene stared at it, biting her lip. When she looked at me again, her eyes were brighter than I’d ever seen.

I managed a small smile. ‘If he makes you this happy, then I’m happy too,’ I said quietly.

Rene kissed me on the cheek, then pulled back, beaming, and didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the morning.

But I spent the rest of the morning feeling as if my entire life had been flushed down the toilet. First my knee gives way at the gold-class worst possible moment and then my best friend falls for a guy who’s destined to break her heart . . . Congratulations, Jade, this week is turning out to be awesome.

At lunchtime it got even worse. When we reached the bench seats beside the oval, Rene smiled at me with a new kind of shyness then skipped over to sit with Marco. He snaked his arm around her waist straight away – squeezing so that her whole body curved into his.

Levi was sitting at the other end of the bench, his leg stuck out straight as he inhaled another steaming meat pie.

I threw my apple core into the bin then leaned back against the fence, facing the bus road and doing anything . . . everything . . . to avoid looking at Rene and Marco. All that was visible was the back of Rene’s elegant hair and Marco’s arms wrapped around her – they were in for a nice long kiss.

‘So, what happened to you?’ I asked Levi, trying to pretend that everything was normal. Yup, my best friend snogs macho morons all the time.

Levi shrugged. ‘Sprained my ACL,’ he said, gazing at the footy boys on the oval. ‘It’s a grade two. But I don’t have to have a knee reconstruction.’

I nodded as if I knew what an ACL was. He seemed to know a lot about knees.

Levi indicated my knee with a jerk of his head. ‘What about you?’

‘Oh . . . hyperextended it,’ I said.

‘Aw, take a load off, Jade,’ said Marco who had just come up for air. He jumped up and held out his arms as if his place on the bench was a gift.

‘Nah, I’m right,’ I said, shaking my head at Rene.

Come on, she mouthed, nodding as if I was being silly to refuse such a chivalrous offer from Marco.

I decided to ignore both of them. ‘So what’s an ACL?’ I asked Levi.

‘Oh . . .’ Levi sighed and rubbed his knee. ‘It’s the anterior cruciate ligament. When it snaps totally you’re meant to hear it go pop.’

‘Eeew!’ Rene lifted her shoulders up to her ears and screwed up her face. ‘I guess playing football means you end up knowing a lot about knee injuries?’ She shivered and flicked a piece of loose hair off her shoulder. ‘Footballers seem to get knee injuries all the time . . .’

Marco was leaning on the fence next to me. ‘That’s because football’s the toughest sport around,’ he said.

Gimme a break. I didn’t even look at him.

Rene was smiling up at Marco as if he was the answer to all her prayers. She sighed and leaned against the backrest of the bench. ‘I suppose football’s a hangover from the tribal days in a way . . . when the men went out hunting together? Teamwork and tactics, that kind of thing.’

Oh, come on . . . I rolled my eyes as Marco’s words from yesterday rolled and rumbled in my mind. Girls are softer than guys . . .

When I glanced up, Marco was watching me closely as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. ‘You got a problem with that?’

‘Um . . . er . . . well, yeah!’ I spat. ‘As if playing football somehow puts you two in the league of ancient warriors!’ I laughed, but no one else joined in. I couldn’t tell what Levi was thinking.

Rene bit her lip and frowned. ‘Well, what’s wrong with that?’ she said.

I opened my mouth to spell it all out, but Marco was sitting next to Rene with his arm around her again. ‘Nothing, baby doll.’ He smiled up at me.

A rush of disbelief hit me in the chest. ‘But that’s so sexist!’ I cried. ‘Why should you guys get treated like heroes! What about the top gymnasts? Or the women’s hockey team? As far as I can tell, football is just boys playing with balls! Kicking goals doesn’t make you freakin’ warriors.’

All three of them were staring up at me from the bench seat. Levi had his mouth open slightly.

‘Anyway, how often do football guys lift their own body weight?’ I said, nice and loud. ‘Gymnasts do that all the time.’

Some Year Sevens eating their lunch nearby stopped talking and looked at me.

Levi lifted both hands like stop signs. ‘Hey, Jade . . . gymnastics is cool.’ His eyebrows were tilted as if he was trying to hold back a smile – soothing a puppy that was barking and growling.

Rene shook her head. ‘Come on Jade. We didn’t mean it like that.’

But Marco rubbed his hands together, a glint in his eyes. He jumped the fence into the oval, raised both arms, blew a sharp breath out and balanced upside down on his hands.

Everyone turned and watched, even the footy guys.

His line wasn’t great, but Marco’s sense of balance was better than I expected. After a few seconds he flipped upright, blew a breath out and winked at Rene.

She rolled her eyes. ‘Come on, Marco.’

By now Marco was beaming at me. ‘Whaddya reckon, Jade?’ he called, lifting his arms up again. ‘Not bad, eh?’ Then he was upside down again, pushing up and down, doing a couple of inverted push-ups . . . lifting his own body weight.

‘Wow, Marco,’ I spat out. I knew I was overreacting a bit, but it still annoyed me. ‘I’m . . . I’m . . . speechless.’

He stood upright again, red in the face, and held his arms out wide, looking from person to person. ‘Yeah? Yeah? Pretty good, eh?’

‘Pretty good . . . for a beginner,’ I said.

On the bench, Levi snorted with laughter.

‘I train twenty-two hours a week, Marco,’ I said as if I was talking to a little kid. ‘And half of that time I’m upside down. Did you think I’d be impressed by schoolyard handstands?’

Marco held out his hands as if offering a patch of grass. ‘All right, I’m ready. Show me what you can do,’ he said.

I lifted my bad leg slowly, considering how it would feel upside down in a handstand. But when I glanced back at the bench, there was Rene standing with her legs apart and arms crossed . . . if looks could kill then I’d already have been stabbed to death.

‘Ah, maybe some other time, Marco,’ I said quietly.

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It’s impossible to run when you’re on crutches. Running requires two good legs, not one good leg and two awkward crutches. But that wasn’t going to stop me trying.

At the end of lunch, Rene headed off as if she didn’t have to wait for a best friend on crutches, and I followed. It wasn’t a run exactly, it was more of a hop, hop, big-glide-though-crutches, but I still kept up with her. Pretty much.

At the entrance to the locker hall, Rene stopped and turned to face me, cheeks red and eyes flashing in a way that made me nervous.

‘I know what you’re doing, okay?’ Rene said, once I’d caught up. ‘And I want you to stop.’ She had the same arms-crossed-legs-apart stance that she’d used at the edge of the oval.

‘What?’ I clunked to a stop, puffing. ‘He started it . . .’

That made Rene look up at the sky and shake her head. ‘I mean it, Jade! Don’t wreck this for me . . .’

‘That’s just it!’ I yelled over her. ‘It’s not me, it’s Marco – he’s the one who’s being a dick. He’s the one who’s sexist!’

Again Rene shook her head. ‘Look, I know why you don’t like him. I know he seems like a little kid trying to show off. But there’s more to him than he lets on . . .’ She shook her head helplessly then just looked at me.

I looked back at her, then sighed and sagged a little on my crutches. Rene had no intention of changing her mind.

‘So . . . what?’ I asked. ‘The next time he shows off, I should clap and say what a great guy he is? When he starts saying that guys are strong and tough, I should nod and pull out my sewing?’

Rene bit her lip, holding back the hint of a smile. Then she glanced through the door leading to the locker hall and shook her head. ‘No, just . . . give him a chance, okay? This is my choice, Jade. My life.’ She looked me straight in the eye.

I nodded, just once. ‘Okay.’ It wasn’t going to be easy, but this was Rene, my best friend who brought me daffodil bulbs and chocolate frogs and never complained when I spent so much time training.

No matter what I thought about Marco, I had to do what she asked.

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‘Alright, people!’ yelled Mr Bird. ‘Stretching first, then I want three laps of the oval.’

As if my crappy lunchtime wasn’t enough, the next class had to be PE. The universe seemed to be playing a sick joke. Missed out on State selection, Jade? Keeping quiet while your best friend gets her heart broken by an idiot? Why don’t you sit around and feel totally useless . . .

While everyone stretched, Gillian Macmillan stared over at me as if she wished we could swap bodies for a while. Gillian wasn’t exactly headed for the Olympics. I shrugged and waved at her. It’s all yours, Gill . . . that was, until I got my knee back to normal.

Already, Levi was sitting in the best of the bench seats. As I clunked over he glanced up.

‘Hey, Jade,’ he said when I was pretty close.

‘Hey, Levi.’ I didn’t want to imagine the kind of dumb stuff Marco might have said about me after lunch. But it looked as if I was destined to spend a bit of time around Levi, now that Rene and Marco were going out. Until it ended in disaster, that was. Might as well make the best of it, I decided.

I thudded on to the seat next to Levi.

Then we just sat watching our class finish their first lap of the oval – the fit sporty kids in a pack at the front, and the rest dragging behind like a limp, lazy tail.

When Rene passed about mid-tail, I clapped and screeched, ‘Go, Rennie!’ I glanced at Levi, wondering what he was thinking.

Not much, it seemed. He was clenching his jaw and staring across the oval as if watching a bunch of phantom footy players.

After a while I picked up a small stone and flicked it though the wire fence. That helped pass, oh, about two seconds . . . I’d need a few more stones to get through the whole class.

I managed to get the next stone through exactly the same hole. But my third one went way too low.

I was just taking aim for another go, when pling, Levi shot a stone though the exact same hole . . .

Of course, I considered that a challenge.

My next stone went slightly too high and was followed straight away by another perfect shot from Levi.

I took my time for my next one – shutting one eye and taking aim. It went straight through and was followed immediately by another from Levi.

‘Well . . . you think you’re pretty good now, don’t you?’ I said and laughed.

Levi nodded slowly, a smug kink at the ends of his mouth.

I picked up a handful of gravel and chucked it all through the fence. Game over.

As Levi shifted on the seat I noticed that his fingernails were short from being chewed.

‘So, I was thinking . . . about what you said at lunchtime, Jade,’ he said.

Here we go. After everything I’d said at lunchtime, Levi was sure to have a go at me. I shuffled a bit in my seat – getting ready.

‘Do you really train twenty-two hours a week?’ asked Levi.

I wasn’t excepting that one. ‘Yeah, well . . . when I don’t have a bad knee.’ It was weird how different my life felt these days. Empty, lazy . . .

Levi nodded slowly. ‘Even when I add running and weight training, I barely make it to ten.’

I shrugged. ‘Yeah, well, there are four apparatus in women’s gym, so that keeps us pretty busy.’

The bulk of our class passed again on their next lap – cheeks brighter now, steps slower.

‘And the stuff you do . . . is it like those, ah . . . like they do at the Olympics?’

I nodded, impressed that he’d been thinking about what I said – thinking about something other than football. ‘Yep, well, you know. Not quite that good. But yeah, lots of aerial stuff, flips and somersaults. I can do a lot of stuff that you’d see at the Olympics.’ I glanced sideways and caught Levi’s eyes lingering over my body. Not in a sleazy way but with curiosity and respect, as if he was considering what it was capable of doing.

It made me aware of how close we were sitting.

‘So, since you’re so serious and all,’ said Levi carefully. ‘I was thinking . . . are you missing anything important? You know, since your knee’s been injured.’

My mouth dropped open. His words seemed to hover in the air. Missing anything important . . .

That question was so fitting, so much the right question to ask. I nodded. ‘Selection for the State Squad . . .’ Then I swallowed. Saying those words made it achingly real – the disappointment, the frustration, the anger . . . And more words kept coming. ‘I was ready this year, you know? Everything was in place – my fitness, my skill level. And it was just a freak accident, you know, it shouldn’t have happened . . .’

I trailed off, suddenly worried I’d said too much. Would Levi think I was whinging? But when I glanced over, he looked me clean in the eye and nodded, as if he knew exactly how I was feeling.

I looked down at my hands and said, ‘What about you, are you missing anything important?’

For a moment Levi kept staring across the oval, then he sighed as if it hurt just to say the words. ‘I’m out for the rest of the season . . .’

We were just two athletes talking about normal stuff, but it felt like we were opening up, too. Unwrapping our bandages and comparing our scars, revealing our hidden raw parts.

I nodded. ‘Man, that really sucks.’

Another sigh. Then Levi went back to staring out across the oval, clenching his jaw muscles and frowning.

I sighed too – leaning forward with my hands on the seat. Although we were quiet for the rest of class, sitting out with Levi wasn’t bad at all.