DAY 4: BIG O THURSDAY
Changing the Orgasm Dynamic

His orgasm is nearly inevitable while hers is often problematic. Why? He comes through friction against the head of the penis, the stimulation he gets during intercourse. But 66 to 75 percent of women need direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm—and she probably doesn’t get that stimulation from intercourse.

Going back thousands of years to the ancient sexual teachings and continuing today, sex advice aims to change the orgasm dynamic by delaying his ejaculation and speeding her arousal.

How long does it take him to reach orgasm? How long does it take her? Dr. Joel Block, author of The Art of the Quickie, says, “On average, four minutes for him, fifteen minutes for her.” That eleven-minute differential can be an obstacle to mutually satisfying sex or an opportunity to make sex last longer and feel more intense. Go for the opportunity.

Try this fun exercise today:

1. Make love in your usual way—except don’t give her an oral or a manual orgasm before intercourse.

2. Move from foreplay to intercourse when she feels highly aroused.

3. Time his ejaculation.

4. He continues to stimulate her orally, manually, or by stroking her clitoris with the head of his penis.

5. Time her orgasm.

Many of the techniques you’ll learn on Big O Thursdays will help delay his ejaculation or increase and intensify her arousal.

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