DAY 312: BIG O THURSDAY
The Bigger O Trick #1: In Your Hands

The problematic nature of female orgasm is the big engine driving every sex philosophy, therapy, and theory. Yet the very first step a woman needs to take is rarely discussed. She can get advice on how to have anal intercourse—but probably not masturbation!—in a mainstream women’s magazine.

The most important message we should be giving young women is: masturbate.

If a woman has never masturbated, how likely is it that she knows how she reaches orgasm? Not very. She’s depending on her partner and serendipity to get her there when the truth would set her free.

Women like sex better when they reach orgasm often, and that’s not going to happen for most women without direct clitoral stimulation. Masturbating regularly:

• Makes her more comfortable touching herself with a partner

• Teaches her what she needs to know about her body’s responses to make orgasm happen in partner sex

• Encourages sexual confidence

• Takes the pressure off her partner to “make” her come or “give” her an orgasm

• Makes her a more relaxed, vibrant, and healthier person

Partnered or unpartnered, every woman needs to masturbate. I believe she should own a wardrobe of vibes and give herself an orgasm with one daily. Dr. Ruth says that a sexpert is a permission giver. You have mine. Go play.

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