Shelby crouched behind the couch, peering over its back. A snowmobile had driven through the front yard and stopped right in front of the deck. It had held a single rider. That was all she’d seen before diving behind the sofa.
Maybe it was a neighbor coming to introduce himself, happy to not be the only one on the summit. Whoever it was, she’d let Ryan greet them. He was at least armed.
Except Ryan hadn’t come in from getting firewood. The first trip had taken less than two minutes. Now he’d been out there at least five. What if something had happened?
She needed to get to her phone, but it was in her purse, which she’d left in the bedroom where Chloe was sleeping. She crept toward the closed door ten feet away. There was nothing to hide behind, no shadows to conceal her movement. With the sun shining through the soaring wall of windows, there wasn’t a dark spot in the room.
When she looked in that direction, the rider had gotten off the snowmobile. Large sunglasses hid the upper part of his face. Even in the bulky parka, the person didn’t look very large. Shelby squinted into the sunlight. Maybe she was looking at a woman.
The rider removed the helmet, and jet-black hair tumbled over her shoulders. Shelby heaved a relieved sigh. She never thought she’d be so happy to see Addy.
As she swung the front door inward, the back one creaked open. She gave Addy a welcoming smile. “I guess you heard the good news.” She’d probably watched the same report Ryan’s friend had mentioned and come to celebrate. The snowmobile likely belonged to Barry.
Addy’s eyes shifted beyond Shelby, and her features darkened. She’d seen Ryan, but this time, it was more than annoyance, or even dislike. There was a hardness in her eyes Shelby had never seen before—hatred, cold and lethal.
Shelby turned, a sense of dread she couldn’t explain showering down on her. Ryan was walking toward them, arms lifted, Barry behind him.
Dread turned to confusion, then denial as Barry stepped to the side. He held a weapon.
Barry didn’t own a gun. He’d said so. He hated guns. But here he was, pointing one at Ryan.
Barry had lied.
Shelby spun on Addy. “What’s going—”
Her gaze locked on the barrel of a pistol. The rest of the words froze in her throat.
Addy aimed the weapon at her chest. “Where’s Chloe?”
“Taking a nap in the bedroom.” Where she’d left her phone. “I’ll get her.” If she could manage a whispered 911 call, they might stand a chance.
“I’ll go with you. I don’t want you trying anything.”
Shelby’s heart fell. When she walked into the room, Addy followed. Chloe was just starting to stir.
Shelby bent over the playpen and patted her back. “Hey, sweetie. It’s time to get up. Addy’s here.”
Chloe sat up and pulled herself to her feet. “Addy.” She stretched out her arms then drew them back. The little girl didn’t know enough to be afraid of guns, but instinctively knew something was wrong. When Shelby lifted her from the bed, Chloe twisted to look at Addy and started to cry.
“Shh, sweetie. It’s okay.” Shelby jiggled her, but the more she tried to soothe her, the harder she cried.
Addy stared at them, lips curled in a sneer. “Can’t you do anything right?”
Shelby flinched. The words were like daggers, piercing places that had scabbed over years ago, and she was once again that little girl trying unsuccessfully to please her father. How many times had she heard those exact words, uttered with the same disdain?
Addy continued. “No one should have ever given Chloe to you. That cop at Mia’s place was an idiot.”
Shelby squared her shoulders. She wasn’t an insecure little girl. She was a responsible, confident adult. If she had any chance of talking her way out of the situation, she was going to have to pull together her scattered thoughts.
“What do you want?”
“All I’ve ever wanted. Chloe.”
“You have her. You’ve always had her.” She shook her head. None of this made sense.
Shelby motioned toward the gun. “This is unnecessary. Robert McConnell is in jail. The danger’s over. Ryan will go back to his apartment, and it’ll just be you and me and Chloe. You’ll be with her all the time, just like before Mia was killed.”
A block of ice slid down Shelby’s throat and settled in her gut. Maybe it wasn’t Ryan’s father who’d had Mia killed.
Everything had pointed to him. Mia had said she’d uncovered something at the club, something that could get her killed. The authorities had even found proof in her pictures.
But maybe he didn’t know what Mia had found and Addy had simply seized an opportunity. She’d struck, then led the authorities down the wrong path, knowing all along she’d be the least likely suspect.
But why kill Mia when she already had what she wanted?
Addy tilted her head toward the door. “Take her out to the living room.”
Shelby stepped from the room with a screaming Chloe. Ryan sat on the couch, and Barry stood with his back against one of the bookshelves flanking the fireplace. His weapon was trained on Ryan, his hand steady, his posture poised. Where was the nervous, insecure man who regularly visited Addy?
He was standing right there, the same person he’d always been. Except now, he was doing what Addy wanted, with no risk of incurring her anger. How far would he be willing to go in his desire to please her?
Addy gave Shelby a nudge with the barrel of the pistol. “Sit next to Ryan.”
“Addy.” Ryan’s voice was soothing, but his tone held an underlying tightness. “Please don’t do this. You love Chloe. Think of what’s best for her.”
“Shut up!” The command came from Barry. “You open your mouth again, that’ll be just the excuse I need to shoot you.”
Shelby raised a hand. “It’s okay. Everybody needs to stay calm.” If Addy would slash her best friend’s throat to take her child, she wouldn’t hesitate to kill Shelby and Ryan.
As Shelby approached the couch, she met Ryan’s gaze. Did he have a plan? He had to. He was trained to get out of dangerous situations. Through twenty years in the military, he’d probably escaped worse than this.
The odds were even—two against two. Ryan was a lot bigger than Barry. But Barry was armed. Ryan was, too. But the way Barry was watching him, he’d never be able to draw his weapon and fire without taking a bullet himself.
Unless she could get to it without Barry noticing, then distract him long enough to put it in Ryan’s hand. Ryan sat in the center of the couch. He was right-handed. That was the side where she’d find his weapon.
She rounded the coffee table and eased down beside him, positioning Chloe on her left leg. When she pressed the back of her forearm against Ryan’s side, her heart fell. The holster was empty.
Ryan was unarmed. And if he so much as opened his mouth, Barry would shoot him.
That meant everything rested on her.
“Where is Chloe’s stuff?” Addy’s question sounded more like a command.
“Everything’s in the dresser in her room.”
Addy nodded toward Barry. “Keep an eye on them. If either of them tries anything, shoot them.”
Shelby watched her disappear into the bedroom. Addy’s mind was made up. She wanted Chloe, and nothing was going to stop her. She’d been so sure her position as godmother would give her what she needed to get custody. It hadn’t worked. So she’d tried repeatedly to convince Shelby and Ryan to allow her to leave with Chloe. That hadn’t worked, either.
Now Addy planned to do the unthinkable—kill her and Ryan and kidnap Chloe. There was no way she would keep them alive. Otherwise, she and Barry wouldn’t make it out of the county before the authorities stopped them.
Addy tramped from the room, a pile of clothing and diapers in her arms. “What about food?”
“There’s a six-pack of applesauce and Goldfish crackers in the pantry, bananas on the counter, string cheese in the fridge. Take whatever else you want.”
As Addy disappeared into the kitchen, a low rumble seemed to come from somewhere in the distance. A snowplow was on the summit, possibly moving in their direction. Not that it was going to do them any good.
When Addy returned a few minutes later, she held two plastic bags. She’d stuffed Chloe’s clothing into one and filled the other with food. The pistol’s barrel was tucked into the waistband of her jeans.
“I’m securing all this on the back of the snowmobile. Then we’ll be ready to go.”
Addy stepped out the front door, pulling it shut behind her. Within minutes, she’d walk back in, and it would be all over.
Shelby sat up straighter. Addy’s mind was made up, but maybe she could appeal to Barry.
“I know you love Addy, but do you really want to be involved in this? You’re a good man. And you’re smart—smarter than any of us.” Unfortunately, when Addy was around, Barry seemed to lose the ability to make rational decisions.
“Think what this will mean.” She talked fast. Addy had already reached the snowmobile. She wouldn’t be out there for long. “You three will spend the rest of your lives on the run. That’s assuming you don’t get caught, which isn’t likely.”
His jaw tightened, but his eyes were unreadable.
“You don’t want to hurt me. Ryan, either. I don’t know what Addy has told you, but he’s never done anything to you.”
Barry spoke through clenched teeth. “He keeps trying to take Addy from me.”
Ryan tensed, and she willed him to stay quiet. Outside, Addy straightened and turned from the snowmobile.
“That’s not true. Addy’s manipulating you.” Shelby took Ryan’s hand and entwined her fingers with his. “Ryan’s not interested in Addy. He and I are a couple now.”
Hopefully, God would forgive her for the lie. Considering she was trying to save his life, Ryan should, too.
He squeezed her hand. He was only playing along, but his grip was reassuring.
Doubt flashed in Barry’s eyes, and his reserve seemed to falter. Addy lumbered closer, leaving deep footprints in the snow. Perspiration coated Shelby’s palms.
“Addy’s a user. As soon as she’s finished with you, she’ll throw you away. You’ve seen how she treats you, hot one minute, cold the next.”
Addy was climbing the steps now. Shelby’s pulse jumped to double time. If there was anything else that might sway Barry, she had only seconds to say it.
“You’re a great guy, Barry. You’re kind, devoted. You deserve better.”
The front door swung open and Addy stepped inside. After closing the door, she lowered herself to one knee and held out her hands. “Come here, sweetie pie.”
Chloe buried her face in Shelby’s shirt.
“Put her down.” Ice laced Addy’s tone.
Shelby tried to lower Chloe to the floor, but the little girl curled into a ball, clinging to Shelby’s clothes.
“It’s okay, sweetie. You have to go with Addy.”
“Noo-o-o-o!” The word was a wail.
Addy rose and stepped forward, casting Barry a glance over one shoulder. “If either of them tries anything, shoot the other one.”
With one knee on the coffee table, she bent forward and snatched up the little girl. Shelby gasped. It was the first time she’d seen Addy be rough with Chloe.
Chloe screamed more loudly and reached for Shelby. Addy gave her a rough shake. “Chloe, stop it.”
Shelby held up her hands. “Addy, please. You won’t get away with this. Your parents’ farm is the first place the authorities will check.”
Addy laughed, harsh and mocking. “I never knew my father, and my mother doesn’t have a farm in Idaho.”
Shelby’s jaw dropped. Another lie. With Addy, everything was a lie.
“Don’t look at me like that. This is your fault.” She rotated from side to side, trying to calm Chloe. She wasn’t any more successful than Shelby had been. “If you’d stayed in North Bend, we wouldn’t be here.”
Barry shifted his weight from one foot to the other. That calm demeanor was showing some cracks. He didn’t deal well with crying children. “Come on, Addy. Let’s get out of here.”
Addy ignored him, eyes still on Shelby. “It was supposed to be so simple. I’m Chloe’s godmother. With Mia out of the way and Randall in jail, she was supposed to be mine. Instead, you showed up.”
“Why kill Mia? You had everything you wanted.”
“Mia was taking Chloe away.”
“But you could have gone with her.”
“No, I couldn’t. Mia said she didn’t need me anymore, said that I was getting too possessive of Chloe.” Her voice was raised to project over Chloe’s screams, the volume amplifying the hurt and anger she apparently still felt. “It wasn’t fair. I wanted a child so bad, but for Mia, Chloe was just a way to try to get to Randall. She didn’t deserve her. I do.”
“So you had Barry slit her throat while she napped.”
Barry shook his head violently, eyes wide. “That wasn’t me.”
“I did it.” In spite of the volume, Addy’s tone was nonchalant. “When I got back from Safeway, she was still asleep. I put Chloe in her room then took care of Mia. Then I called the police, saying I’d found her like that when I walked in.”
Shelby’s heart clenched. Killed in her sleep by her best friend, someone she trusted wholeheartedly. “Did she know?”
“Know what?”
“That it was you.”
“Yeah. It took time for her to bleed out enough to lose consciousness.”
Shelby slumped, bile churning in her stomach. When she shifted her gaze to Barry, her own horror was reflected on his face. Either hearing the details bothered him, or like everyone else, he’d believed that Ryan’s father had ordered Mia killed.
Shelby shook her head, trying to clear the confusion. If Addy killed Mia, what about all the threats? “Who shot at me in Mia’s parking lot?”
“Barry.”
“I didn’t try to hit you.” He spoke fast, his tone defensive. “Addy called me, told me to fire a shot to scare you. I waited at the end of the road for her to text me when it was time.”
While Shelby had stood with Ryan outside Mia’s apartment door, Addy had gone downstairs. She’d been gone only a few minutes, but it had been plenty of time to make that phone call.
Addy shifted Chloe to her other hip and held her close. The little girl was finally calming down. Maybe she’d worn herself out.
Addy continued. “I figured if you thought Chloe was in danger, you’d let us take her.”
Ryan’s father had tried to take her, too. That couldn’t have been set up by Addy. He’d spoken with Shelby himself and made his threats.
“Who barged into the apartment and tried to take Chloe?”
“Nobody. That was a setup.”
Once again, she’d taken advantage of an opportunity. After Robert McConnell’s failed attempt to get Chloe, Shelby had automatically suspected him.
“But someone hit you.” There was no way she could have done that herself.
“Barry.”
“I didn’t want to do it.” Regret filled his tone.
“I made him hit me. It almost killed him.”
“You orchestrated everything.” Shelby shook her head. “Ryan’s father was never a threat.”
Addy nodded. “Barry was the mysterious man with the gun.”
Shelby looked at Barry, brows raised. “You’re the one who attacked Ryan?”
“He didn’t give me a choice. He was gaining on me. I hid behind a bush, then jumped out and hit him with the side of my gun. If I’d wanted to kill him, I would have shot him.”
Addy picked up where she’d left off. “Barry slashed Ryan’s tires, then scraped up the door and jamb to make it look like someone had tried to break in. He made the bomb and planted it on your car.”
Barry cut in again. “It wouldn’t have exploded. I intentionally didn’t get the mix right.”
Addy ignored the interruption. “As far as tampering with the deck, we were both happy to try to get rid of him.” She tilted her head toward Ryan, mouth set in a scowl.
Shelby tried to blink away her confusion. Things weren’t adding up. “But the masked person in the video was stockier than either of you.” They’d checked the feed numerous times.
Addy nodded. “Several layers of clothes a couple sizes too big can be pretty convincing. Your location made it simple—an alley that’s often deserted, bordered by trees. Barry would park a few spaces down, out of view of the camera and approach through the woods. When he finished, he’d shed the extra clothes and mask, move the car down and arrive like normal.” She frowned. “But you were too stubborn to heed the warnings. So I had to step up my game.”
“The fire.”
A twisted smile curled her lips. “That was all me. I slipped downstairs with some newspaper and a coffee can of gasoline I’d had Barry bring over.”
That was why the alarm hadn’t gone off until after the fire had started, why the only broken window appeared to have been blown outward.
Realization slammed into her with the force of a freight train. She’d made her tea, then left it steeping on the counter while Ryan had read Chloe a bedtime story. She’d thought she was sleeping exceptionally heavy. Now she knew the truth.
“You put something in my tea, hoping I wouldn’t wake up.”
“Two of my sleeping pills. It would have worked if he hadn’t insisted on running back up after you.”
“But why do all this now?” Addy’s possessiveness had disturbed Shelby enough to think about letting Addy go once the danger was over, but she’d kept those thoughts to herself.
“You were planning to take her away, like Mia was.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
“You were taking her to Arizona.”
“I was coming back.”
“That’s what you said. But what if you stayed and I never saw Chloe again? I couldn’t take that chance.”
Addy moved to the front door. When she swung it open, the faint rumble Shelby had heard filled the late afternoon air. The plows were closer than she realized, maybe even on Ober Strasse. With their four-wheel-drive SUVs and the help of the plows, police would be able to reach them. But no one knew she and Ryan were in trouble.
God, please help us. The silent plea felt awkward. She’d thanked Him for saving them from the fire. But throwing a prayer of thanks out there, just in case, was a lot different from asking for something and having faith to believe He cared enough to answer, or even heard.
Addy stepped into the opening, and Barry started to follow. She glared at him. “You’re not finished.”
He furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”
“As soon as we leave, they’ll call the cops.”
“We can take their phones.”
“They can identify us, you idiot. As it stands, no one suspects us.”
Shelby’s words tumbled out, her tone frantic. “The authorities don’t suspect you now, but when you disappear, you’ll both be suspects.”
“Not if we ransack Barry’s place and make it look like we were both abducted.”
“You’ll spend your whole life running. You don’t want that for yourselves or Chloe.”
“Don’t tell me what I do or don’t want.” She leveled her gaze on Barry. “Shoot them.”
Barry held up one hand. “Whoa, wait a minute. I agreed to try to scare them into letting us take Chloe, because that’s what you wanted. I was even okay with sabotaging the landing so Ryan would fall through, because you told me he was trying to take you away from me.” He tucked the barrel of the gun into the back of his pants. “I draw the line at murder. If you want to kill them, you’re on your own. I’m leaving.”
He’d taken one step when Addy slammed the door. Chloe flinched and started to scream again. After shifting the terrified child to her left hip, Addy drew her weapon. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Come on, Addy.” He raised both hands and stepped backward. “I love you.” He took another step. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked.”
Addy’s eyes narrowed. “I won’t let you bail on me now.”
Barry continued his slow backward steps. He’d almost reached the kitchen. “I’m not a killer.”
“If you won’t do this for me, you’re not worthy of my love.”
“And if you ask me to do this, you’re not worthy of mine.”
Addy’s jaw tightened, and coldness entered her eyes. Barry read the silent signal. He spun and ran for the back door at the same time a blast reverberated through the house. As he dropped to his knees at the end of the kitchen cabinets, Chloe released an ear-piercing scream that went on and on.
Addy gave her a shake. “Chloe, hush.”
Chloe fell silent long enough to draw in a breath for another scream. Addy aimed the pistol at Ryan. Shelby’s heart stopped, then resumed an erratic rhythm, slamming against her rib cage. She needed to say something, but her mouth had gone dry, and her brain had stalled out.
When Ryan held up both hands, Shelby’s panic ratcheted up several notches. Don’t talk.
He ignored her silent plea. “You won’t make it out of King County.” He shouted the words over Chloe’s wails. “You’re already a suspect. I talked to the detective. They know you lied about the farm.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Your mother is a waitress in LA, has lived there all her life.”
Addy’s eyes widened and her jaw went slack. She recovered immediately. “By the time anyone discovers your bodies, I’ll be several states away.”
“They’ll stop you before you get off the summit. I was on the phone with the detective when you arrived. They know you’re here.”
Chloe’s cries grew less hysterical, allowing Ryan to lower his voice. “If you kill us, Chloe will go into foster care. Think how traumatic it will be for her, losing everyone she knows. You don’t want that.”
Addy’s eyebrows drew together, parallel creases forming between them. Ryan’s arguments were getting to her.
He continued his calm assault. “You love Chloe. Everything you’ve done is because of your love for her. The courts will take that into consideration.”
Addy set her jaw, cold determination filling her eyes. “If I’m going down, you are, too.”
Chloe stopped crying to take several hiccupping breaths. In the relative silence, the rumble of the snowplow was more obvious. But there was something else, too—the higher pitch of a vehicle’s engine.
Addy spun toward the front windows with a gasp. Ryan sprang to his feet, leaped over the coffee table and slammed into her.
As the three bodies crashed to the floor, Addy’s furious roar blended with a renewed scream from Chloe. A second ear-splitting crack filled the room, and a lamp next to Shelby shattered.
Chloe scrambled away from the struggling adults, then curled up on the floor, sobs wracking her little body. Ryan wrestled the weapon from Addy and slid it across the polished wood floor. It came to a stop under the coffee table.
Shelby left it there. She was already on her feet, stumbling toward Chloe, arms extended. Prayers of thanks circled through her mind. Ryan was alive, and so was she. As she reached her niece, the front door burst open, and a uniformed police officer stepped inside, drawn weapon sweeping the room. Behind her, someone entered from the back.
She lifted Chloe from the floor, hoping she was only frightened. Ryan had taken a chance tackling Addy with Chloe in her arms. But if he hadn’t, he and Shelby would be dead.
Now he had Addy pinned facedown, hands behind her back, while she shouted curses at him. The officer stepped farther into the room. “Is everything secure?”
Ryan swiveled his head. “Yes. The woman here is the only threat. But the man down in the kitchen needs medical help stat.”
Shelby sank onto the love seat and cast a glance in that direction. Barry was still alive. Although she hadn’t been willing to take her eyes off Addy while she’d held the gun on them, regular moans had come from the kitchen. Even now, he writhed in pain, his legs bending and straightening. The other officer knelt next to him, talking softly into his radio. Shelby wrapped her arms around the sobbing child in her lap and held her close.
As soon as the officer had cuffed Addy, Ryan rose. When he reached the love seat, he shook his head, his eyes moist. “I almost lost her. And I almost lost you.”
He dropped to his knees and wrapped both of them in his arms, the side of his face pressed against Chloe’s back.
Shelby closed her eyes. The warmth of his presence wrapped around her, providing a sense of security she hadn’t felt since...ever. She couldn’t explain it. Her diner was ruined and her savings wiped out. She was responsible for the fragile little girl in her lap and had no idea what challenges she’d face in the coming weeks.
But with Ryan at her side, she’d make it through. Even if his involvement was only as a friend to her and a father figure to Chloe.
He rose and sat next to her, one arm draped across her shoulders, the other hand holding Chloe’s. Through the interviews by the police officers and the arrival of the paramedics, he remained like that, holding her in a one-armed hug. She didn’t make it something it wasn’t, even when he pulled her tightly against this side. Emotions were high. Once they both calmed down, they would transition back to the friendship they’d shared.
When the police officer walked away, Ryan leaned close, his warm breath brushing her ear. “Do you still doubt the existence of a personal God who cares for His creation?”
She turned her head to look at him. She had prayed, with no confidence that God would hear. But God had answered, anyway. He’d actually begun to orchestrate events before she’d sent her brief panicked prayer skyward.
The call from the detective had come at exactly the right time. Ten minutes earlier, the conversation would have been over before Addy and Barry arrived. Ten minutes later, and Ryan wouldn’t have been able to answer his phone.
She smiled up at Ryan. “Actually, I’ve been talking to Him, and I’ve come to the conclusion that my dad was wrong about a lot of things.”
She shifted her gaze to the kitchen, where the paramedics were working to stabilize Barry. According to one of the officers, a medevac chopper was on its way to airlift him to the nearest trauma center. Shelby prayed he’d hang on. How could such a bright young man allow himself to be manipulated so badly?
Some time later, after police had left with Addy and Barry was on his way to the hospital, Ryan stoked the fire and added more wood. Chloe was sound asleep in the bedroom, exhausted from their earlier ordeal.
Ryan straightened. For several moments, he stood facing the fire. When he finally turned, his gaze was warm. “You told Barry we’re a couple now.”
Heat crept up her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I was just—That was to convince Barry that you’re not his enemy.”
A while ago, he’d acted like he wanted to kiss her. It was what she’d wanted, too, and she’d almost let him. But she couldn’t allow them to cross that line. Once they did, she’d fall hard. When it didn’t work out, their interactions would be awkward and uncomfortable.
Ryan moved toward her without speaking. Was he mad at her? Did he think she was trying to push him into a relationship, like Addy had tried to do?
He had nothing to fear. She was too practical to harbor unrealistic expectations. Not long ago, she’d asked him what kind of woman was his type. She’d stupidly hoped it might be her. He’d said, “No one.” He wasn’t interested in a relationship, period.
She rushed to explain. “That was for Barry’s benefit. Trust me, I’m perfectly content to just be friends.”
He sat next to her and once again draped an arm over her shoulder. His nearness was making her jittery. Before, there’d been an excuse. They were both reeling from almost losing their lives. And they’d had an upset child to comfort.
Now, that child was asleep, some time had passed and their emotions had returned to normal.
So why was Ryan looking at her like that?
“What if I’m not content with just friendship?” His voice was soft, filled with tenderness.
Her throat constricted in an odd mix of anxiety and anticipation. This was exactly how her parents’ relationship had started, how almost every long-term relationship began. That decision to move from friendship to something more. It was a small step, but held huge potential. For happiness or disaster.
She wasn’t ready.
“I—I don’t know.” She dropped her gaze to her lap.
He laid his free hand over both of hers, which she had clasped in a white-knuckled grip. “Shelby, we’re not making a lifetime commitment. I’m asking for a few dates, an opportunity to get to know each other without threats hanging over us. I’d like to give it a try and see where it leads.”
What he’d said was tempting. She’d been fighting her attraction to him almost from day one. As she’d spent more time with him, attraction had grown into respect and admiration. Watching him with Chloe had chipped away at her resolve even further.
He’d said he wanted to see where it led. But what if it led the same place as her parents’ relationship? What if she eventually found herself in the same prison her mother had inhabited for the past thirty-five years?
Ryan squeezed her hands. “What are you afraid of?”
What was she afraid of? Everything. She was afraid that Ryan would go into this with unrealistic expectations, then realize that he’d gotten an inferior product. She was afraid that she’d fall head over heels for him, and someone prettier or smarter or more talented or more fun would come along and steal his heart. And she was afraid of losing herself, afraid that as Ryan shaped her into who and what he thought she should be, the strong and independent woman she was now would disappear into the mist.
Ryan released her hand. “You know I was married before. You might have even guessed my wife was unfaithful. What you don’t know is that you two were born within a few weeks of each other. And she’s beautiful, just like you.”
Warmth spread through Shelby’s chest at the compliment, even while her mind protested. She wasn’t the pretty one—Mia was.
He heaved a sigh. “But she was restless. At first, I blamed the age difference. Then I blamed myself, that I didn’t have what it took to hold on to her.”
He hooked an index finger under her chin and gently lifted, encouraging her to meet his eyes. “The idea of trying a serious relationship again scares me to death. But these past weeks together, I’ve fallen in love with you. I can’t walk away from this without at least seeing if we can make it work.”
He lowered his arm from her shoulders and took her hand, entwining her fingers in his. “Neither of us grew up in the best home. And we’ve had bad experiences since. We’ve both got baggage that makes us want to run in the opposite direction.” He squeezed her hand. “I think it’s time to let go of those fears instead of allowing them to shape our futures. Think about it, Shelby. I’m not asking you to do anything I’m not willing to do myself.”
His gaze held hers, his eyes heavy with a silent plea. How could she deny him when he looked at her like that? If he was willing to risk his heart, couldn’t she find the courage to risk hers?
“I’ve been fighting feelings for you almost from the start.” She gave him a shaky smile. “It hasn’t worked. As hard as I’ve tried not to, I’ve fallen in love with you, too. But it’ll be a while before I’m ready to jump into anything. You’ll have to be patient.”
His lips lifted in a hopeful smile. “I’m willing to go as slow as you want to go. Turtle speed. Even snail speed.”
“Glacier speed?”
“As long as we’re moving forward, I’ll be happy.”
He squeezed her hand, and she squeezed his back. When he dipped his head and leaned toward her, her heart fluttered. He was going to kiss her. She wasn’t sure she was ready for that, either.
The first brush of his lips quelled her fears. His kiss was gentle, demanding nothing, giving rather than taking. As she released the final shred of resistance, all the tension drained from her body, replaced by warmth and contentment.
She’d made her decision. She was dropping her guard completely, putting her heart in Ryan’s hands. She should feel as if she was dangling over a precipice.
But she didn’t.
If she was, it wasn’t nearly as scary as she’d envisioned.
Because something told her she could trust Ryan to be her safety net.