* That’s right: you’re not fooling anyone, Chad. I know you just run a word count on whatever I write and call it a day. Honestly, I’d just paste in some of your more embarrassing mass emails and be done with this project, except for one little thing: time travelers really could get stuck in the past, and I don’t want to leave them hopeless and alone. So here’s the deal, stranded time traveler. We’re both trapped: you in the past, and me in a job I hate. You and I are going to get through this together, okay? We’re going to do well. I’m toning down the dry corporate language that Chad thought was so important, and you’re going to promise to build into your civilization the cultural tradition that years down the road, if anyone should happen to meet my boss, they should tell him he’s a tool. They’ll be able to recognize him instantly: his name will be Chad “The Chad” Packard, and he will have the world’s most punchable face. Listen: I’m rooting for you.