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THEY WERE ACROSS THE bridge, but Lyric was naked.
Again.
“I don’t believe this,” he grumbled, shielding his private parts as they moved closer to the town. “I don’t believe this. How could this happen to me twice in one day, huh? Please explain to me why I have the worst luck in the world!”
“We could’ve tried swimming across.”
“Yes, that would have been lovely. On top of everything else, I could’ve been eaten by piranhas. Or I could have sunken to the bottom of the river like a stone.”
“You never know until you try.”
“Thank you for bestowing your philosophical genius on me, Miss Optimism. However, I’d rather be naked than dead.” Lyric whimpered incoherently for several seconds, as if trying to decide if being naked was preferable to death. “Those overalls were completely and utterly disgusting! Why did he want them, huh? Why did he have to want them, of all things!”
“Well, the troll was pretty disgusting himself...”
Lyric glared at the back of Aurora’s head, hoping the dark cloud over his head would follow her instead. “Why did it have to be me? Why couldn’t something bad happen to you? Why did it have to be my overalls? Why couldn’t it have been your dress?!”
“Um... maybe the troll isn’t a crossdresser?”
“That is a good point, however, he couldn’t have fit into those overalls anyway! Large as they were, that troll was enormous. He’ll be lucky to get his pinkie into the leg hole. Wait!” Lyric grabbed the back of Aurora’s dress and pulled her backward. “Don’t go yet. We’re getting too close to the town. I can’t go into the castle like this!”
“No, that’s probably not a good idea.”
“Of course it’s not a good idea. Look me in the eye and tell me you’d be comfortable going into town in the nude.” He locked his eyes on hers, but she quickly looked away. “See? You can’t do it! You have to help me!”
“Help you?”
“Yes, help me!” Lyric pleaded. “I’ll go wait in those stables over there, and you go find me something to wear!”
“You’re asking me to help the man who threatens to put me in the stockade?”
Lyric rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Oh, stockade, stockade! Is that all you ever think about? Just forget about it for a moment and be a good Samaritan. No, good Samaritan be damned! I’m the emperor, and I command you to find me something to wear!”
“Okay. Alright.”
“You’ll do it?”
“Yes, I’ll do it!” Aurora nodded her head in the direction of a ramshackle building from which the unmistakable stench of horse dung was wafting. “Just... go wait over there.”
“In the stables.”
“Yes!”
“You won’t leave me?”
He sounded so sincerely fear-stricken by the thought of her leaving, it almost stirred some pity. “No, I won’t leave you.”
“Well, get going then. Unless you’d rather stand around and watch my rear end as it flees into the stables...”
“I’d rather not stand around and watch your rear end as it flees into the stables, thank you very much,” she retorted, making a dash for the town.
Should she leave him and never return? That question entered her mind as soon as they parted ways. It was a tempting thought, but she couldn’t find it in herself to abandon him. As unpleasant as he was, she felt wholly responsible for his predicament. Deep down, she knew he had every right to be angry with her.
The half-timbered houses in Cleves were nothing like the flat stone dwellings in the emperor’s city, nor were they the same as the cottage where Aurora grew up. Though sturdy, the wooden framework and stucco walls gave every house a strangely dilapidated appearance. As she walked along the cobbled path between the buildings, she tried to peek around the houses, hoping to find some clothes hanging on a clothesline.
“Look out below!”
Aurora looked up. A woman popped out of a second story window and heaved a bucket of sudsy water into the street below. With seconds to spare, Aurora leapt aside. As the water hit the ground, a few droplets splashed up with amazing momentum, dousing the muddied hem of Aurora’s dress.
“Sorry, love!” cried the woman, though she hardly seemed sorry at all. She closed her window with a loud bang, which brought her apology into further question.
“Maybeee....” As her voice trailed off, Aurora stared at the soapy water that scurried along the cracks in the cobblestone. “Maybe that’s laundry water?”
She heard the tolling of church bells in the distance: one, two, three, four, five. A minute later, the street was swarming with passersby. Aurora used that opportunity to slip through the crowd and enter the alleyway without being noticed. She sneaked into the backyard of the washerwoman’s house, and sure enough, she found fresh linens hanging on a line. It wasn’t clothing, but Lyric was in no position to complain. At least it was something.
Aurora held her breath as she walked to the clothesline and snatched a white towel. It was her first foray into thievery, but in this case, it was necessary. Folding the towel under her arm, Aurora returned to the busy street. It seemed she was an able thief; no one noticed her coming and going.
She ran back to the stables and burst inside. When she didn’t see him right away, she felt a strange twinge in her stomach. Was he gone? Did something happen to him?
Why in the world was she worried about that idiot?
“Lyric?”
“Yes?” He popped his head out of one of the stalls. “I’m hiding in here with one of the horses.”
“Oh... okay. Well, I brought you this.” She tossed the towel across the stall door, and he regarded it as if it was pure poison.
“What’s this?”
“Something for you to wear.”
He pinched the corner of the towel and held it up. “This? This is all you could find?”
“Sor-ry!” she said, sarcastically extending the first syllable. “It’s not like I could go get some tailor-made pants for you. We’re broke, if you haven’t noticed, and I didn’t have much time!”
“Very well,” he conceded with a sigh.
“It’s not that bad, is it? At least you won’t be walking around in the nude.”
Lyric wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out from behind the stall door. “It’s not much worse than the bear’s clothes, to be honest. Now, come.” A bit forcefully, he seized Aurora by the elbow and dragged her from the stables. “I could hardly stand the stench of the horses much longer. My face is probably green. I need fresh air.”
Aurora shook her arm, freeing her elbow from his grasp. “We could part ways here, you know. You can appeal to the princess for help, and I can go my own way...”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Weren’t you listening to me?” Lyric brought his face close to hers. “I’m not letting you out of my sight!”
“How romantic.”
“Very funny. But no. You got me into this mess, and you’ll see it through to the end... behind bars.”
As they started off toward the castle, Aurora crossed her arms. “I could have left you in the stables, you know. I didn’t have to come back with something for you to wear!”
“You brought back a towel. Am I supposed to be grateful for that?”
“You’re missing the point. I could have left... completely! But I didn’t!”
“Ah, but I knew you’d be back. You peasants are all the same. Without thinking, you do whatever the emperor tells you to do. Your flock mentality is a really handy thing.”
Dressed in nothing but a towel, Lyric was drawing several stares from people strolling by. But he was too busy bickering to notice.
“A peasant... a peasant? Is that what you think I am?”
She was on the verge of confessing her true identity, but Lyric laid a finger over her lips. “Shush, girl. We’re approaching the castle.”
Aurora wondered if there was some truth in what Lyric was saying. Why did she let him follow her for so long? Why did she come back? Why did she help him? She could turn around and leave him right now if wanted to. Why didn’t she—
“Who goes there?!” The stern voice of a castle guardsman shook her from her thoughts.
“I am Emperor Lyric Marsapier Grenovich von Fable, and I’m here to see Her Majesty, Princess Rachelle Punoir Zelathustra of Cleves.”
The second guard sneered at Lyric. “Dressed like that? You really expect us to believe such rubbish? Go away, beggar!”
“When the princess confirms my identity, I have no doubt you will be punished for speaking to me in such a manner!”
“Oh, yeah? Confirm this!” The guard made a rude gesture with his hand.
With a gaping jaw, Lyric looked over at Aurora. “I don’t believe this!” he gasped. “I don’t believe this! Such nerve!”
Aurora stepped forward, hoping she could handle the situation a bit better than the hothead standing beside her. “This really is the emperor, sir. I know it’s hard to believe, given the circumstances, but we’re not lying to you. I know it might be asking a lot... rousing the princess for someone who must surely look like an imposter, but I promise you... if you can get her to come out here, she’ll confirm what the emperor is saying.”
“And why should we believe you?” one of the guards barked at her.
“Because, as my friend was saying, things could turn out very bad for you if you bar the emperor from the castle. Don’t you think that would upset Her Majesty?”
Friend? She hadn’t actually called him that, had she? She felt like throwing up.
The guards’ resolve seemed to crack. They turned to each other, whispered between themselves for a few seconds, then turned back to Lyric. “Alright,” one of them spoke, “One of us will fetch the princess. But if it turns out that you’re an imposter, it’s the dungeon for both of you.”
“Understood,” said Aurora.
“Oh, you’ll regret threatening me, sir!” responded a far-less-placid Lyric. “I’m sure the princess will be appalled when she learns of how I’ve been treated... or mistreated. Yes, that’s the word!”
“Um, Lyric?”
He looked down at Aurora. “What, girl?”
“I really hope the princess knows who you are. If she doesn’t, we’ll both be thrown into prison because of you.”
“How in the world would the princess not know who I am? I’m her suitor! Her favorite suitor, I might add. She makes it quite clear that she’s head over heels for me!”
“Then I feel sorry for her!”
“What was that?” As Lyric leaned toward Aurora for a confirmation on what she said, the castle door burst open, and a fair-skinned, flaxen-haired girl came rushing out. She clasped her hands to her rosy cheeks, as if overcome by emotion. “Lyric! Oh, Lyric! It’s so good to see you... and I apologize for my guards’ rudeness! Their behavior is completely unacceptable! Oh, Lyric!” She tossed herself into his arms, and he caught her in a hug.
“Take whatever exhilaration you might feel, double it, and that is exactly how I feel at this moment, Princess. Nothing compares to the sight of your lovely face.”
“Oh, Lyric, you flatter me! Surely I don’t deserve such compliments from the handsomest man in the world! I can but gaze into your eyes for three seconds before I am in danger of melting to the ground!”
For the second time, Aurora felt a wave of nausea creeping into her stomach. Their superfluous sweet-talking would have made anyone nauseous. However, she couldn’t deny they were a attractive pair. The princess had posies in her hair, the complexion of a child’s doll, and a pink dress to match her rosy cheeks. She was, in a word, adorable. And Lyric, though downright annoying, was also disgustingly handsome. With his chiseled cheekbones, intense dark eyes, and thick mahogany hair, it was no wonder the princess was smitten with him. To think that such beautiful people were also rich and royal—it was completely unfair!
“Lyric...oh!” The princess’ gaze fell on his bare chest, and she took a few steps away from him. For the first time, she noticed her beau’s lack of clothing. “What in the world are you wearing?”
“A towel.”
“I see that it’s a towel, but why in the world are you wearing it? What happened to your clothes?”
Lyric wrapped an arm around the princess’ shoulders. “That would be a long story, Rachelle. I don’t want to bore you with the details.”
“Any story that explains how you ended up with barely any clothes could hardly be boring!” The princess’ gaze slid over to Aurora. “Excuse me...who is she?”
“My cousin!”
“His cousin.”
Lyric and Aurora shouted their answers the same time. At least they were corroborating their stories.
“Oh. Well, Lyric, get inside! I can’t leave you standing out here like this! I’ll have a tailor come at once.”
“Aurora. My cousin’s name is Aurora.”
“Okay. She can come inside as well, of course. Any family of yours is welcome in the castle.” Rachelle coiled an arm around Lyric and steered him into the castle. As they stepped inside, Rachelle barked an order at the guard. “Show the cousin to one of the guest bedrooms, if you please.”
Arm-in-arm, they left Aurora behind. Lyric didn’t bother to look back at her, not even once. Maybe, at long last, she was truly rid of him?
“Will you allow me to escort you to your own chambers, miss?” It was the same guard as before, the one who heckled the emperor. Now that Aurora was a guest in the castle, his demeanor completely changed.
“Um... sure.”
She barely had a chance to soak in the castle’s lavish interior before she was accosted by a cluster of maids, eager to do her bidding. They followed her down a long corridor, spewing questions along the way.
“Some refreshments for you, miss?”
“Can I get anything for you, miss?”
“Will you be dining with the emperor and princess tonight, miss?”
“Uh, uhhh...” Which question was she supposed to answer first? “Um, refreshments? Some tea would be nice. And maybe some cake?”
One of the maids turned on her heel and fled.
When the maid was gone, Aurora wondered if she should have asked for a full course meal, as it had been a long time since she had one. Cake, as silly as it sounded, was the first thing that popped into her head.
“Can I get anything else for you, miss? Anything at all?” Another maid chimed.
“Well, a bath would be nice. And maybe a clean dress?”
“I’ll get right on it, miss!” The second maid was off in a flash.
Aurora looked over at the last maid and raised her eyebrow. “What was the last question?”
“Will you be having dinner with the emperor and the princess, my lady?”
Aurora shook her head so fast, her neck popped. Dinner with those two lovebirds
was hardly her idea of fun.
* * *
HEAVEN COULDN’T BE much better than this. The bath was just the thing she needed after everything she’d been through, and the soak in warm water was just the beginning. The maid filled the bathtub with rose petals, and candles floated on the surface of the water. The mattress in her bedroom was the softest thing she ever lay on, and the canopy was swathed in extravagant red silk. Her closet was filled with the most beautiful dresses, hand-selected for Aurora to wear.
Being the emperor’s faux cousin was certainly worth it.
Aurora devoured a slice of black forest cake and slipped beneath the blankets for a nap. However, her peace was disrupted as soon as she closed her eyes. Someone was knocking on the door. Without thinking, she ran to the door and flung it open.
In her nightgown.
The sight of Lyric’s face on the other side of the door made her remember her modesty. She closed the door half-way and peered out. “Um... hello.”
Lyric’s eyebrow was raised so high, it was almost comical. “Hello. Excuse me, why are you hiding?”
“Well, I’m not exactly decent.”
“Are you serious? Have I not been walking around in the nude for the last six hours?” He made a gesture to the clothes he was wearing: black tailored pants and a white poet’s shirt. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?”
“What’s amazing?”
“Clothes! I’m actually wearing clothes!”
Aurora cracked a smile, but she stayed hidden behind the door.
“Well, anyway, I’m here to personally invite you to dinner.” Before she could be touched by this friendly gesture, he added, “It wasn’t my idea. Princess Rachelle insisted that my cousin should join us.”
“Oh.”
“So, will you come?”
“I already told the maid I wasn’t coming.”
“Oh, come on! You should come!” Lyric pressed. “It might be the first and only time we get to have dinner together.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, right... my last supper before I go into the stockade.”
“Well, I might pardon you. I’ve been in a better mood since I arrived at the princess’ doorstep.” Aurora started to close the door on him, but he wedged his fingers between the door and frame before she had a chance to close it. “No one refuses an invitation from the emperor, nor does the emperor dole out invitations very often. You should be honored.”
“This girl should be honored to accept the invitation of an emperor who refers to himself in the third person?” With a sigh, she added, “Alright, I’ll come. But you’ll have to give me a minute to get dressed.”
“Very well. I will wait outside your door.”
Aurora closed the door. It seemed she would be dining with the lovebirds after all. With a groan, she went to the wardrobe and randomly selected a dress. It was midnight blue with a veil of silvery gauze over the front of it. When she put it on, she felt like she was draped in moonlight. The dress was so beautiful, it seemed more suitable for the likes of Princess Rachelle.
That’s what she thought—until she met with Princess Rachelle in the dining room.
“Oh, I remember that dress. It’s one of my cast-offs,” she said, scrutinizing Aurora from head to toe. “It’s so outmoded. Could they find nothing better for you to wear?”
Rachelle’s snobbery was like a fist to the gut. The dress was probably expensive enough to feed a family of four for an entire year, but the princess had the nerve to insult it? Somehow, Aurora found the strength to hold her tongue. “This is fine, thanks.”
When they were all seated, a string of cooks descended on them with an endless tide of silver platters. There were only three people at the dinner table, but the meal could have easily served twenty. There was roast duck, roast beef, grilled salmon, cooked carrots, sweet potatoes, and a soup with odd-looking string beans floating in it. Aurora made a mental note to skip the soup. As hungry as she was, she wasn’t feeling that adventurous.
However, she piled heaping portions of everything else onto her plate. When she compared her portions to Rachelle’s, she felt a bit sheepish. Oh well, she thought to herself, and proceeded to shovel food into her mouth.
As her fork hovered tentatively over her plate, Rachelle watched Aurora. “Your cousin’s table manners leave something to be desired.”
“Yes, well...” Lyric chuckled. “She was raised in the country. What can I say? Her mother is the black sheep of the family, I’m afraid. My aunt ran away with a farmer when she was sixteen years old.”
Aurora lifted her head and glared at Lyric, then she turned to glare at Rachelle. She wasn’t going to let the princess’ criticism stop her from enjoying her meal. She skewered a giant slice of roast beef and stuffed the whole thing into her mouth.
“You never told me about that!”
“Yes, it’s true,” Lyric shook his head, as though ashamed. “There’s an entire branch of my family that I’m embarrassed to call my own.”
Aurora clenched her fork so tightly, she nearly bent it—which was no small feat, as it was probably pure silver. She had never encountered such rudeness in all her life! They were talking about her as if she wasn’t there, and Lyric was making up lies on a whim! If not for the guards standing at the doorway, she would have been tempted to plunge her fork into his arm.
The princess couldn’t take her eyes off of her beau long enough to take a bite. “Oh, Lyric,” she cooed. “You’re so, so handsome!” She reached up and ran a hand through his short, dark hair.
“Why, thank you.”
“Being near you sets my heart aflutter!” she declared. “I’m sure your cousin doesn’t want to hear all this, but I can’t help myself! Even she must realize what a beautiful man you are!”
Lyric gingerly took a bite of his fish. Unlike the princess, he seemed more interested in food than flattery. “Who knows?”
“You have such searing eyes. It’s as if they’re looking straight into my soul! What color are they, anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever noticed. They almost look green... or silver.”
“Brown,” he corrected her.
“Oh.” She ran her hand along his arm, caressing him like she owned him. “You’re so strong, too. So masculine!”
Aurora almost spat out the wine she was drinking. Masculine? She begged to differ. She’d heard enough of his whining to know he was far from masculine.
“You have such a strong chin.” Rachelle touched his jaw, but he hardly seemed to notice. He just kept chewing.
“Thanks.”
“And perfect lips.”
“They’re perfect for kissing, if you’d like to try them.” Though he was clearly extending the offer to Rachelle, he looked up at Aurora and winked.
“And a perfect nose... perfect ears... perfect cheeks.” Rachelle tapped each of Lyric’s body parts as she named them.
Aurora decided she’d heard enough. If she had to listen to Rachelle any longer, she would likely vomit the food she was putting into her mouth. She stood up and said, “I’m feeling a bit under the weather. Do you mind if I take my dinner to my room? It seems like you two would rather be alone, anyway.”
Rachelle’s eyes were fixed on Lyric, and it didn’t look like she would be tearing them away any time soon. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Aurora, not even for a second. “Oh... go on.” The princess waved her off with a flick of the hand.
“Goodnight, cuz,” Lyric said, winking at Aurora yet again.
“Goodnight, idiot.” As she walked by, Aurora laid a hand on his head and gave his hair a ruffle.
Rachelle drew in a sharp breath as soon as Aurora was gone. The princess puffed up her chest and shook her head in disgust. “How dare she talk to you like that? She’s not even royalty, is she? Did she really call you an idiot? Aren’t you going to do something about that?!”
“Nah.” Lyric brought another piece of fish to his lips. “We’re family. I guess we just have that sort of relationship.”