Chapter 39
His heart beat in rhythm to his quick footsteps as he hurried up the stairs. Outside her doorway, he took several deep breaths in an attempt to regain control of himself. He left Aleksi’s office and came here first. Like he could do anything else.
He knocked and heard movement on the other side of the door before it opened. Helena stared up at him like he was everything before a ripple of pain erased that gorgeous expression. He sighed.
“May I come in?” He kept his voice low so as not to startle her.
She nodded and moved out of his way, then shut the door and locked it. It didn’t take a genius to realize she wasn’t quite certain what to do with him.
To ease her, he took her hand and led her the few steps into her living room. Helena made a sound he couldn’t define, so he stopped and stared down at her. The urge to kiss her senseless spun through him in undulating waves. With the willpower that had kept him alive all these years, he resisted the overwhelming temptation.
Instead he smiled and brushed some curls off her face. “Aleksi offered me a new job.”
Her eyes widened and she looked relieved that he hadn’t delved immediately into their relationship status. “You have a new job?”
He couldn’t help himself. He grinned, happy about this at least. “You’re looking at General Vladimir Wellington, Commander in Chief of the Rurikstan Military.”
Helena’s mouth dropped open. “Commander in Chief of the entire military?”
He couldn’t seem to wipe the grin off his face. “The entire military.”
“Oh my goodness, Vlad. Oh my goodness,” she repeated, her eyes still wide, but glowing with awe and pride. “That’s huge.”
“The thing is, I’m the only person in Rurikstan right now who can do this. Those long years of training, all over the world, with all the different branches means I have the knowledge of how each branch of the military works. With me leading each branch, I can also make certain they work together.”
“What will you be doing exactly?”
“Overhauling the entire military to turn us into top fighting machines so terrorists and such understand we are capable of defending our own.”
“That’s a daunting task.”
“Yes, but it’s also a job perfectly suited to my skills.”
She stared at him with more awe. Then that same flash of pain crossed her face for a moment. “You’re going to be staying here, in Rurikstan?”
“Yes. I’m sure there will be some traveling, and I’ll have to spend time on the various bases here and abroad, but yes, for the most part I’ll be living here in Rurikstan.” He paused. “It’s beyond nice to be home.”
She stared numbly at him like she wasn’t quite certain what to say. Maybe she couldn’t.
With a hand that shook a little, he caressed her beautiful cheek. “I would like if you shared the next fifty or sixty years with me.” In the back of his mind, he knew he was rushing her. She had concerns and fears.
Helena swallowed, and it sounded painful. Tears didn’t quite well in those gorgeous green eyes before she turned away and padded to the closest chair where she abruptly sat. He couldn’t read her expression because her head was bowed and her long hair concealed her face.
Because he couldn’t stand it, he scooped her out of the chair and headed to the couch. He dropped onto it, keeping her firmly on his lap, in his arms where she belonged. She didn’t resist so that had to be a good sign, right?
“Why?” he finally asked in the silence.
Her head was still bowed, but she brushed her hair out of her eyes before those glorious jewels lifted to stare into his. “You’re a superhero.”
“I’m not. Like every other man on the planet, I’m just a man.”
A bordering-on-bitter laugh escaped her. It also teetered on the verge of hysteria. “No, that’s one definition that will never describe you.”
He tilted her chin so he could gaze into her eyes. “I’m human, I make mistakes, and often my mistakes are fatal for someone. I have to control my emotions or it will lead to someone’s death. My entire life has been learning how to stay alive.”
He fell silent for a few moments before he dragged air into his lungs. “After a few years, a few months, that sort of lifestyle wears on you. I see the very worst of humankind. It’s not an easy place to live, Helena. I need warmth and beauty in my life. I need to come home to someone who loves me and who counters what I do every day.”
For long moments she stared at him. “You’re going to grow bored with me.”
That was so unlikely he laughed. “No.” He said it firmly and with utter conviction. “The fear is that I’ll grow addicted to you. I already am. But when I look around, at my brother and Sara, our parents, Emerson and Karis, Aleksi and Tia, I see that’s not a bad future.”
He traced her lips. “In fact, I embrace it. I’m looking forward to my new job, but I need you in my life. I need you to be a part of my future or it holds no meaning.”
“I’m so afraid you’re going to start to resent me because my life and my job aren’t exciting like yours. I’m an ordinary scientist and pretty boring.” She made it sound like that was bad.
His lips curved upwards. “That’s one of the things I love about you.”
Eyes wide again, hers met his. “You love me?”
That made him stop. His mind raced as he thought on her words. All those long, lonely years without female company finally made sense. “Of course I do,” he said in wonder. “I was never attracted to other women because I’ve been in love with you since our teens.”
Staring at him as if she had never seen him before, maybe because she hadn’t been looking at him through eyes of love either, Helena’s eyes did fill with tears this time. “That’s exactly how I feel. I wondered if I was in love with you. Now I know for certain that I am.”
Judging it was okay to kiss her, he tugged her close and fastened his lips to hers. It had been far too long and he took his time. Savoring this woman because there were no guarantees.
“So do you still want to break up?” He wove his hand through her hair because it was there and tempting him.
“No. I didn’t want to the first time.” Her lips were glossy from their kiss and she had never looked so beautiful. Despite the dark circles under her eyes and the weary way she held herself. He hadn’t had much time to sleep, and it looked like she hadn’t been able to.
“You broke up with me because you were afraid,” he stated, combing his fingers through her long curls.
“Yes.” She laid her head on his shoulder. “You are a superman, you know. I’d hate for you to wake up one day and think, ‘You know, this nerd bores me out of my mind,’ because that would kill me.”
“Even men, maybe that should be, especially men with my training need a woman like you in their lives. The flashy ones you probably think of as interesting are shallow and self-absorbed. They’re not exciting at all.” He lifted her lips to his again. “You are.”
“I am what?”
“You are exciting, smart, beautiful.” He swallowed. “So beautiful I could stare at you all day. You’re also sexy, funny, sweet—all those things I’ve ever wanted in a woman. Yet you’re even more than that.”
“Like what?”
“Brave. Ingenious, because I would have never thought to set a man on fire. But you and Mom kept your heads and used what was available as a weapon. Impressive, Helena.”
Her lips drew down. “We were desperate.”
Again he tilted her face to his. “Now you understand a little bit about my world.”
That made her pause, her head cocked to the side as she stared at him. “It’s been that bad?”
“More often than not. There were some training exercises I didn’t think I’d live through. Much less some of our missions.”
“Yet those are the experiences that forged you into the man you are today, General Vlad.”
He grinned because he was pretty certain he would never grow tired of his new rank. “Yes, they did. Being forged in those kinds of fires aren’t all that pleasant though.”
“Of course they aren’t. That’s why they’re called adversity.”
Nodding, he tugged her into a tight hug, loving her warmth and understanding. “I love you,” he whispered into her hair. Fearful he would wake up and this would all be a dream.
“I love you.” She held him just as fiercely.
“Are you going to marry me, Helena?”
“Yes.”
That one little answer swelled his heart and made him feel like the superhero she deemed him. “Thank you,” he whispered vehemently.