get into a sitting position from stomachYou may have a Baby Houdini on your hands this month, whose major preoccupations are getting into things he or she shouldn’t be getting into and getting out of things he or she shouldn’t be getting out of. There’s no shelf too high, no cabinet handle too unwieldy to deter a ten-month-old baby on a mission of seek and (what seems like) destroy. Accomplished as an escape artist, baby will now try to wriggle his or her way out of diaper changes, strollers, high chairs—in other words, any confining situation. Along with great physical advances (including, for a few, those momentous first steps) come remarkable verbal strides—not so much in the number of words spoken but in the number of words understood. Looking at books becomes a much more interesting and enriching experience as baby begins to recognize and even point to familiar pictures. In fact, pointing becomes a favorite activity no matter what baby’s doing—just one way he or she is able to communicate without words.
All babies reach milestones on their own developmental time line. If your baby seems not to have reached one or more of these milestones, rest assured, he or she probably will very soon. Remember that some babies zoom ahead in certain areas (large motor skills, for example) while they lag a bit in others (verbal skills, perhaps). Your baby’s rate of development is normal for your baby. If you have concerns about your baby’s development (because you’ve noticed a missed milestone or what you think might be a developmental delay), don’t hesitate to check it out with the doctor at the next well-baby visit—even if he or she doesn’t bring it up. Parents often notice nuances in a baby’s development that doctors don’t. Premature infants generally reach milestones later than others of the same birth age, often achieving them closer to their adjusted age (the age they would be if they had been born at term), and sometimes later.
By eleven months, your baby … should be able to:
get into a sitting position from stomach
pick up tiny object with any part of thumb and finger (as always, make sure dangerous objects stay out of baby’s reach)
understand “no” (but not always obey it)
… will probably be able to:
play patty-cake (clap hands) or wave bye-bye
walk holding on to furniture (cruise)
point or gesture to something to get needs met
… may possibly be able to:
pick up a tiny object neatly with tips of thumb and forefinger (again, keep all dangerous objects out of baby’s reach)
stand alone momentarily
say “dada” or “mama” discriminately
say one word other than “mama” or “dada”
… may even be able to:
stand alone well
indicate wants in ways other than crying
“play ball” (roll ball back to you)
drink from a cup independently
use immature jargoning (gibberish that sounds as if baby is talking a made-up foreign language)
say three or more words other than
“mama” or “dada”
respond to a one-step command without gestures (“Give that to me”—without hand out)
walk well
Most doctors do not schedule regular well-baby checkups this month—again, just as well, since babies this age do not appreciate the holding still required during a doctor’s visit. Those with stranger anxiety may also not appreciate the doctor, no matter how warm and friendly. Do call the doctor if there are any concerns that can’t wait until next month’s visit.
Ask most pediatricians when a baby should be weaned from the bottle and the majority will say by age one—and definitely no later than eighteen months. Ask most parents when they actually weaned their baby off a bottle, and the majority will say … much later than that. There are a host of reasons why parents (and babies) hang on to the bottle for longer than doctors recommend, reasons ranging from convenience for the parents, to comfort for the baby, to less mess for everyone involved. Throw in a dose of parental weariness and infant attachment, and it’s no wonder millions of two- and three-year-olds still haven’t kicked the bottle habit.
But here’s the message about bottles most experts would like parents to pay attention to: Weaning by age one—or as soon as possible after the first birthday—is best for your baby. And there are many good reasons why. First of all, as with many other attachment objects of babyhood (such as a pacifier, being rocked to sleep, and so on), old habits die hard. And the older the habits (and the baby) are, the harder it is to break them. Weaning a fairly flexible one-year-old is like taking candy from a baby compared to tussling with a strong-willed two-year-old over the bottle.
Second, when an older baby uses a bottle, he or she runs the risk of developing tooth decay from bottle feeding, and not only because there are now teeth to decay. While an infant is usually fed in his or her parents’ arms—and the bottle removed when the feeding ends—a mobile toddler often totes the bottle wherever he or she goes. This drinking-on-the-go and nipping-all-day-long allows the milk or juice to bathe teeth in sugar, with cavities the potential result.
Third, toddlers who are bottle drinkers end up drinking more juice or milk than they should, filling up on too many liquids and taking in too few solids. Not only do these toddlers become fussy eaters (not surprising, since their tummies are always full of juice and milk), but they can end up missing out on important nutrients. If their bottles are filled with juice—particularly apple juice—they can also end up with chronic diarrhea.
And if you’re still not convinced to switch to a cup in the next month or two, consider these developmental drawbacks: A toddler who’s constantly toting and nipping from a bottle has only one hand free for playing and exploring—and a mouth too full to speak out of.
If your baby hasn’t been introduced to a cup yet, see page 326 for tips on how to begin. While introducing the cup is relatively easy—albeit messy—getting your baby to give up the bottle entirely and take all his or her liquid from a cup is a little more challenging. Following these suggestions can make the switch from all bottle to all cup a little smoother:
Time it right. Don’t wean your baby from the bottle if he or she is sick, very tired, or even hungry. A cranky baby won’t take kindly to your weaning attempts. And wait until baby has settled down again after a big move, new baby-sitter arrangements, or any other stressful time.
Go slow. Unless you’re planning on making your baby kick the bottle habit cold turkey—a technique better suited for an older toddler or preschooler whose help can actually be enlisted in the plan—the best way to transition from a bottle to a cup is by slowly phasing out the bottles while phasing in the cup. There are a number of ways to do this:
Drop one bottle-feeding session at a time and replace it with a cup. Allow a few days or a week before replacing the next one with a cup. The middle-of-the-day bottle will be easier to cut out first. The morning and bedtime ones are usually harder to give up.
Put less formula or milk (formula for babies under a year, whole milk for those over a year) in each bottle than your baby normally takes and top off each bottle feeding with a cup. Slowly decrease the amount of formula or milk in the bottle while you increase the amount of formula or milk in the cup.
Serve only water in the bottle, starting with one feeding at a time. Save milk, formula, or juice for the cup. Your baby might find that the bottles aren’t worth it anymore. But do make sure your baby’s getting enough total formula or milk, or enough in the way of other calcium foods.
Keep it out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind—hopefully. Keeping the bottle away from your baby (during the feeding you’re replacing with a cup) will make craving it less likely. Hide it in the cupboard, put it on a high shelf, and when you’re down to the last feeding and ready to call it quits entirely, throw it away. At the same time, make sure your baby sees his or her cup around the house often—in the refrigerator, on the kitchen counter, on the dining room table.
Make it exciting. Give your baby cups with bright colors, adorned with his or her favorite characters, or see-through so he can watch the liquid swish around—whichever type makes it more thrilling to use.
Expect a mess. Unless you’re using a nonspill sippy cup (which you shouldn’t use all the time; see box, page 327), you should expect lots of wet accidents until your baby has mastered drinking from the cup well. Allow your baby to experiment (and to do it himself or herself)—and protect your floors, walls, and yourself with newspapers, aprons, and towels. Don’t be tempted to take the cup away and maneuver it yourself into baby’s mouth in order to cut down on mess. The bottle was in baby’s control; the cup needs to be, too.
Expect less. Less milk, that is. Expect your baby to take fewer ounces of formula or milk during the weaning process. Once he or she gets used to taking in all his or her daily liquid from a cup, the amount he or she consumes will increase.
Teach by example. Babies at this age love imitating adults (particularly adults they love). Take advantage of this urge to mimic and drink from a cup along with your baby (or have older siblings pitch in with drinking duty).
Be positive. Every time your baby uses a cup, apply positive reinforcement. Clap when your baby holds the cup (even if he or she doesn’t drink from it). Cheer when baby takes a sip.
Be patient. Like Rome, weaning from a bottle won’t be conquered in a day. Allow several weeks, even a month or two, for the entire process to be completed. The first few days will be rough, but, like most things in parenting, being consistent (by not caving in and giving your baby his bottle back) and giving it time will allow for a much smoother transition. And if it takes a long time because your child is really attached to the bottle, don’t stop trying. It’s okay if it takes longer—as long as the eventual goal is met.
Give extra love. For many babies, the bottle provides not only nourishment but also comfort. As you limit the amount of time your baby has the bottle, be prepared to shower him or her with extra hugs, extra play sessions, an extra bedtime story on your lap, another stuffed animal to help your baby feel secure and comforted.
“My baby just started taking steps and she seems to be bowlegged.”
Bowed until two, knock-kneed at four, a small child’s legs certainly won’t give a supermodel a run for her money. But even the legs that grace fashion’s top catwalks were probably bowed when they took their first steps. Almost all children are bowlegged (their knees don’t touch when they stand with feet together) during the first two years of life. Then, as they spend more time walking, they become knock-kneed (their knees meet, but their ankles don’t). Not until the teen years do the knees and ankles align and the legs appear to be shaped normally. Special shoes or orthotics (bars, braces, or other orthopedic appliances) aren’t needed and won’t make a difference in this normal progression.
Occasionally, a doctor will note a true abnormality in a child’s legs. Perhaps just one leg is bowed, or one knee turns in, or perhaps the baby is knock-kneed (though sometimes a baby only looks that way because of very chubby thighs), or normal bowing becomes progressively more pronounced once walking begins. In such cases, or if there is a history of bowlegs or knock-knees in adults in the family, the baby may need further evaluation, either by the baby’s doctor or by a pediatric orthopedist. Depending upon the particular case, treatment may or may not be recommended. Fortunately, rickets, once the most common cause of permanently bowed legs, is fairly rare in the United States today, thanks to the fortification of formula, milk, and other dairy products with vitamin D.
“I sometimes dress in front of my baby, but I’m starting to wonder how long I should let him see me naked.”
You’ve got some time before you’ll have to start retreating behind closed doors to do your dressing and undressing. Experts agree that up until the preschool years, parental nudity won’t affect a child in any way. (Beyond the age of three or four, however, the consensus changes. At that point, some believe, it may be less healthy for children to see parents of the opposite sex fully undressed.) Certainly, an infant under a year is too young to be stimulated by seeing his mother undressed (though a breastfeeder may smack his lips at the sight of his favorite milk machine). He’s also too young to remember, years later, what he’s seen. In fact, he’s as unlikely to notice anything special about mom’s birthday suit as he is about her best dress, and will probably largely ignore it.
If your baby is curious about what he views, however, and wants to touch your pubic hair or pull at your nipples, feel free to end any explorations that bother you. Be matter-of-fact, and don’t overreact. His interest in the private parts of your body is, after all, no less wholesome than his interest in the public parts, such as your nose or ears (though he may be even more fascinated by the private parts since they’re usually kept under wraps). “That’s Mommy’s” is a response that will help a baby begin to understand the concept of body privacy and help him keep his private parts private later on—but one that won’t instill guilt.
The same, of course, applies to a baby girl and her father—nudity now is not an issue (though covering up is fine, too).
“I feel as though I’m living on the brink of disaster ever since my little boy started to walk. He trips over his own feet, bangs his head on table corners, topples off chairs ….”
This is an age that many parents fear neither they nor their babies will survive. Split lips, black eyes, bumps, bangs, bruises, and countless close calls for baby. Frazzled nerves and skipped heartbeats for mommy and daddy.
Yet babies keep going back for more. And a good thing, too, or they’d never learn to get around on their own—or, in fact, learn much of anything at all. Though horseback riding can be mastered, according to the old adage, with just seven falls, mastery of walking and climbing takes a good deal more—with seven or more falls not being uncommon in the space of a single morning. Some children learn caution fairly quickly. After the first topple off the coffee table, they retreat for a few days and then proceed more carefully. Others (those who will probably always enjoy living life on the edge, much to their parents’ chagrin) seem as though they will never learn caution, never know fear, never feel pain; five minutes after the tenth topple, they’re back for number eleven.
Learning to walk is a matter of trial and error or, more accurately, step and fall. You can’t, and shouldn’t try to, interfere with the learning process. Your role, other than that of proud but nervous spectator, is to do everything possible to ensure that when your baby falls, he falls safely. While taking a tumble on the living room rug can bruise his ego, tumbling down the stairs can bruise a lot more. Bumping into the rounded edge of the sofa may draw some tears, but colliding with the sharp corner of a glass table may draw blood. To decrease the chance of serious injuries, be sure that your house is safe for your baby (see page 402). And even if you have removed the most obvious hazards from your toddler’s path, remember that the most important safety feature in your home is you (or whoever else is minding your child). While your child needs plenty of freedom for exploration of the world around him, it should be permitted only under very close and constant adult supervision.
Even in the most conscientious of homes, however, serious injuries can happen. Be prepared for this possibility by knowing just what to do if one should occur; take a baby-resuscitation course and learn the first-aid procedures beginning on page 572 (they’re dark at the edges for quick flipping).
Parental reaction often colors a baby’s response to mishap. If each fall brings one or more panicked adults rushing to his rescue, chorusing, “Are you okay? Are you okay?” between gasps and shudders, your fallen soldier is likely to overreact as much as those around him—shedding as many tears when he’s not really hurt as when he really is—and may soon become overcautious or lose his sense of adventure, perhaps even to the point of hesitating to attempt normal physical developmental hurdles. If, on the other hand, the adult’s reaction is a calm “Oops, you fell down! You’re all right. Up you go,” then the child is likely to turn out to be a real trouper, taking minor tumbles in stride and getting right back on his feet without missing a beat.
“Although she’s been trying for some time, my baby hasn’t yet pulled up to stand. I’m worried that she’s not developing normally.”
For babies, life’s a never-ending series of physical (and emotional and intellectual) challenges. The skills that adults take for granted—rolling over, sitting up, standing—are for them major hurdles to be confronted and scaled with no small effort. And no sooner is one challenge met than another looms ahead.
As for pulling up, there will be babies who will master this skill as early as five months and those who will wait until well after the first birthday, though most will fall (or rather, stand) somewhere between the two developmental extremes. A baby’s weight may have an impact on when she first pulls up; a heavier baby has more baggage to take with her than does a lighter one, and so the effort needed may be greater. On the other hand, a strong and well-coordinated baby may be able to pull up early no matter how much she weighs. The baby who’s cooped up in a stroller, baby carrier, or mesh-sided play yard much of the day won’t be able to practice her pull-ups. Nor will a baby want to practice if she is surrounded by fragile furniture that buckles under her every attempt to steady herself. Slippery shoes or socks can also hamper efforts to pull up, and can cause falls that dampen enthusiasm for the activity—bare feet or slipper-socks with nonskid soles give baby a better foot to stand on. You can encourage your baby to try to pull up by putting a favorite toy in a place where she has to stand to get to it. Also, help her to pull up in your lap frequently, which will build her leg muscles as well as her confidence.
The average age for passing the pulling-up milestone is nine months—and most, but certainly not all, children have accomplished the skill by twelve months. Of course, it’s a good idea to check with the doctor if your child hasn’t successfully pulled up by her first birthday, just to rule out the possibility of a problem. Right now, all you need to do is sit back and wait for her to stand—in her own good time. Children gain confidence from being allowed to progress at their own pace, from discovering “I can do it myself.” Trying to force a child to stand or walk before she’s ready could set her back rather than move her forward.
“My son fell and chipped one of his baby teeth. Should I take him to the dentist?”
Since those cute little pearly whites will fall out someday anyway to make room for permanent teeth, a small chip in a baby tooth is usually nothing to worry about—and pretty common, considering the number of tumbles the typical fledgling toddler takes in the course of a day. Still, it’s a good idea to make sure you’re not dealing with anything that’s more than cosmetic. First, do a quick check of the tooth. If there seem to be any sharp edges, give the dentist a call when you have a chance. He or she may want to smooth out the edge or fix it with a plastic filling or crown. Call the dentist right away, however, if baby seems to be in any pain (even days later), if the tooth appears to have shifted positions or become infected (swollen gums can tip you off to this), or if you see a pink spot in the center of the chipped tooth. Any of these symptoms might indicate that the fracture has gone into the nerve. In such a case, the dentist will need to determine—by taking an X ray—if the tooth should be extracted or if nerve treatment (a baby root canal) is needed. An injury to the nerve, if left untreated, can damage the permanent tooth that is already forming in your baby’s mouth. Either way, try to smile—chances are there will be plenty more bumps for your baby on the road to walking!
“My wife and I are very careful about cholesterol in our diets, but when we asked our pediatrician whether we should start our son on skim milk at a year, he said no, only whole milk. Does this mean we don’t have to worry about his cholesterol at all?”
A child in the first and second years of life is in an enviable position—at least from the point of view of parents who miss their daily bacon and eggs. Not only are fat and cholesterol not hazardous to a baby’s health, they’re believed to be essential for proper growth and for development of the brain and the rest of the nervous system.
Still, though you should plan to include whole milk and whole milk dairy products (including whole milk yogurt and cheeses) in your baby’s diet until his second birthday, it also makes sense to take steps to help ensure a healthier cardiovascular future by instilling heart-smart eating habits now:
Don’t butter baby up. If your baby becomes accustomed to bread, pancakes, vegetables, fish, and other foods cooked and served without added butter or margarine now, he won’t crave that buttery taste later on. And if, when he’s older, he wants to spread his bread, less will likely be more. (To keep the family’s cholesterol down, when shopping for margarine, choose those that are low in trans fatty acids; generally, softer margarines are heart-healthier than stick varieties.)
Forgo the frying. Fried foods shouldn’t be a regular part of anyone’s diet. Serve or order baked potato (or baked fries) instead of fries for your baby, broil the chicken breast or bake the nuggets instead of frying, pan-fry the fish in a non-stick skillet or bake it in the oven. When you cook with fats, opt for those high in polyunsaturates, such as olive, canola, safflower, sunflower, corn, or soy oil, over saturated fats, such as palm or coconut oil, hydrogenated vegetable shortening or fat, coconut butter, or animal fats.
Be picky with your protein. Red meat’s fine for baby (and, in fact, is a good source of iron). But it’s also important for your child to get a taste for protein sources that are low in cholesterol and fat (such as fish, skinless poultry, dried beans and peas, and tofu)—if only so your child won’t grow up spurning anything but hamburger. It’s okay to avoid red meat entirely, but then be certain your baby has other sources of iron in his diet. Eggs are a great source of protein for baby; choosing omega-3-rich eggs will offer brain-boosting and heart-healthy fatty acids, too.
Favor fish. There’s no heart-healthier food than fish, particularly those varieties that are high in omega-3 oils (such as salmon and sardines)—which makes the fish habit a good one to catch early on. Introduce your baby to a variety of fresh fish, particularly those that have a pleasingly mild taste and an easily chewable texture. (Some fish are better for baby than others, and some should be avoided altogether because of mercury contamination; see page 342). Always screen carefully for bones when serving your baby the catch of the day.
Look at the label. Most of the fat and cholesterol in the diets of both adults and children is hidden in prepared foods. Chips and other snack foods are, not surprisingly, a major source of dietary fat for Americans, but so are cakes and pastries. To avoid hidden unhealthy fats, read labels carefully. Look for products made either without fat or without saturated fats or oils.
Take it slow on fast foods. They may be finger-licking good, but most fast foods are high in fat, cholesterol, and sodium, and low in important nutrients and fiber. They can also be pretty addictive. Holding off on serving your baby fast foods will keep him from getting hooked on them at an early age. Another reason not to rush into fast food: Most fast foods are nutritionally inappropriate for babies. Though burgers prepared at home are fine, fast-food varieties generally contain too much sodium. Ditto fast-food chicken nuggets, that perennial preschool favorite; baby will be better off nibbling on homemade ones (baked in the oven) or on wholesome brands bought at the health food market. Same with French fries; there’s no need to give baby a taste for them this early in life, especially since they’re loaded with salt and unhealthy fats. If you do visit fast-food restaurants as a family, do so infrequently, and choose from the menu carefully. Good options for babies include grilled chicken and plain baked potatoes.
“The pediatrician just told me that my son has dropped from the 90th to the 50th percentile in height. She said not to worry, but it seems like such a big drop.”
Healthy babies and children come in all sizes. When a doctor assesses a child’s progress, she looks at more than the curve of his growth chart. Are both height and weight keeping pace fairly closely? Is baby passing developmental mileposts (sitting, pulling up, for example) at about the right time? Is he active and alert? Does he appear happy? Does he seem to relate well to his parents? Are hair and skin healthy-looking? Apparently the doctor is satisfied with the way your baby is growing and developing, and unless you have some reason (other than this drop in height) to believe something’s amiss, you should take your cues from that assessment.
The most common reason for such a growth shift at this time is that a baby who was born on the large side is just moving closer to his genetically predestined size. If both parents are not very tall, you shouldn’t expect your son to stay in the 90th percentile—chances are he won’t. Height, however, isn’t inherited through a single gene. So a child with a 6-foot father and a 5-foot mother isn’t likely to reach adulthood exactly the same height as one or the other. More likely, he will end up somewhere in between. (Each generation is, however, on the average, a little taller than the previous one.)
Occasionally, what appears to be a sudden growth shift is just the result of a measuring error—one made at this last visit or at a previous one. Babies are usually measured while they’re lying down, and a baby’s wriggling can easily yield inaccurate results. When a child graduates to upright measurement, he may actually appear to lose an inch or so in height because his bones settle a little when he stands.
Because keeping thorough health records is important, jot down your baby’s statistics at each checkup. Then do your very best to forget about them. As you will soon realize, kids grow up too fast anyway.
You’ve come a long way, baby. From a newborn whose only way of communicating was crying, and who understood nothing but his or her own primal needs; to a six-month-old who was beginning to articulate sounds, comprehend words, and express anger, frustration, and happiness; to an eight-month-old who was able to convey messages through primitive sounds and gestures; and now, to a ten-month-old who has uttered (or will soon utter) his or her first real words. And yet with all the accomplishments already behind your baby, still more astounding growth is around the bend. In the months to come, your baby’s comprehension will increase at a remarkable rate; by around a year and a half, there will be a dramatic expansion also in the number of words spoken.
Here’s how you can help your baby’s language development:
Label, label, label. Everything in your baby’s world has a name—use it. Verbally label objects in baby’s home environment (bathtub, toilet, kitchen sink, stove, crib, lamps, chair, couch, and so on); play “eyes-nose-mouth” (take baby’s hand and touch your eyes, your nose, and your mouth, kissing the hand at the last stop), and point out other body parts; point to birds, dogs, trees, leaves, flowers, cars, trucks, and fire engines while you’re out walking. Don’t leave out people—point out mommies, daddies, babies, women, men, girls, boys. Or baby—use his or her name often to help develop a sense of identity.
Listen, listen, listen. As important as what you say to your baby is how much you let your baby say to you. Even if you haven’t identified any real words yet, listen to the babble and respond: “Oh, that’s very interesting,” or “Is that so?” When you ask a question, wait for an answer, even if it’s just a smile, excited body language, or undecipherable babble. Make a concerted effort to pick out words from your baby’s verbal ramblings; many “first words” are so garbled that parents don’t notice them. Try to match baby’s unrecognizable words with the objects they may represent; they may not even sound remotely correct, yet if the child uses the same “word” for the same object consistently, it counts. When you have trouble translating what your baby’s asking for, point to possible candidates (“Do you want the ball? the bottle? the puzzle?”), giving him or her a chance to tell you whether you’ve guessed right. There will be frustration on both sides until baby’s requests become more intelligible, but your continuing to attempt to act as interpreter will help speed language development as well as provide baby with the satisfaction of being at least somewhat understood.
Concentrate on concepts. So much of what you take for granted, baby has yet to learn. Here are just a few concepts you can help your baby develop; you can probably think of many more. Be sure to say the word for the concept as you and baby act it out.
Hot and cold: Let baby touch the outside of your warm coffee cup, then an ice cube; cold water, then warm water; warm oatmeal, then cold milk.
Up and down: Gently lift baby up in the air, then lower to the ground; place a block up on the dresser, then put it down on the floor; take your baby up on the slide, then down.
In and out: Put blocks in a box or pail, dump them out; do the same with other objects.
Empty and full: Show baby a container filled with bathwater, then one that’s empty. A pail filled with sand, then an empty one.
Stand and sit: Hold baby’s hand, stand together, then sit down together (use ring-around-the-rosie to help with this concept).
Wet and dry: Compare a wet washcloth and a dry towel; baby’s just-shampooed hair with your dry hair.
Big and little: Set a large ball beside a small one; show baby that “daddy (or mommy) is big and baby is little” in the mirror.
Explain the environment and cause and effect. “The sun is bright so we have light.” “The refrigerator keeps food cold so it will taste good and stay fresh.” “Mommy uses a little brush to brush your teeth, a medium brush to brush your hair, and a big brush to scrub the floor.” “Flip the wall switch up and the room becomes light, down and it’s dark.” And so on. An expanded awareness and understanding of his or her surroundings, as well as sensitivity to other people and their needs and feelings, is a far more important step toward your baby’s eventual mastery of language and reading than learning to parrot a lot of meaningless words.
Become color conscious. Start identifying colors whenever it’s appropriate. “See, that balloon is red, just like your shirt,” or “That truck is green; your stroller is green, too,” or “Look at those pretty yellow flowers.” Keep in mind, however, that most children don’t “learn” their colors until sometime around age three.
Use double-speak. Use adult phrases, then translate them into baby shorthand: “Now you and I are going for a walk. Daddy, Connor, go bye-bye.” “Oh, you’ve finished your snack. Brandon made all gone.” Talking twice as much will help baby understand twice as much.
Don’t talk like a baby. Using simplified grownup talk, rather than baby talk, will help your baby learn to speak correctly faster: “Abby wants a bottle?” is better than “Baby wanna baba?” Forms like “doggie” or “dolly,” however, are fine to use with young children—they’re naturally more appealing.
Introduce pronouns. Though your baby probably won’t be using pronouns correctly for a year or more, the end of the first year is a good time to start developing familiarity with them by using them along with names. “Daddy is going to get Josh some breakfast—I’m going to get you something to eat.” “This book is Mommy’s—it’s mine—and that book is Olivia’s—it’s yours.” This last also teaches the concept of ownership.
Urge baby to talk back. Use any ploy you can think of to try to get your baby to respond, in either words or gestures. Present choices: “Do you want bread or crackers?” or “Do you want to wear your Mickey Mouse pajamas or the ones with airplanes?” and then give baby a chance to point to or vocally indicate the favored selection, which you should then name. Ask questions: “Are you tired?” “Would you like a snack?” “Do you want to go on the swing?” A shake of the head will probably precede a verbal yes or no, but it still represents a response. Get baby to help you locate things (even if they aren’t really lost): “Can you find the ball?” Give baby plenty of time to turn up the item, and reward with cheers. Even looking in the right direction should count—“That’s right, there’s the ball!”
Never force the issue. Encourage your baby to talk by saying, “Tell Mommy what you want” when he or she uses nonverbal communication (pointing or other signs, grunting) to indicate a need. If baby grunts or points again, offer a choice; for instance, “Do you want the bear or the dog?” If you still get a nonverbal response, name the item yourself, “Oh, it’s the dog you want,” and then hand it over. Never withhold something because your child can’t ask for it by name or because he or she pronounces the name incorrectly. Eventually, the verbal responses will outnumber the nonverbal.
Keep directions simple. Sometime around the first birthday (often before), most toddlers can begin following simple commands, but only if they’re issued one step at a time. Instead of “Please pick up the spoon and give it to me,” try “Please pick up the spoon,” and when that’s been done, add “Now, please give the spoon to Daddy.” You can also help your baby enjoy early success in following commands by giving commands that he or she is about to carry out anyway. If, for example, your baby is reaching for a cracker, say “Pick up the cracker.” These techniques will help develop comprehension, which must precede speech.
Correct carefully. Very rarely will a young child say even a single word perfectly, and none say everything with adult precision. Many consonants may be beyond your baby’s capability for the next several years or more, and the ends of words may be omitted for at least many more months (“mo mi” may mean “more milk” and “go dow” “go down”). When your baby mispronounces a word, don’t correct as if you’re a demanding schoolteacher—too much criticism could prompt a baby to give up trying. Instead, use a more subtle approach, teaching without preaching to protect your baby’s tender ego. When baby looks up at the sky and says, “Moom, tar,” respond with, “That’s right. There’s the moon and the stars.” Though baby mispronunciations are adorable, resist the temptation to repeat them, which will be confusing (baby’s supposed to be learning how they should sound).
Expand your reading repertoire.
Rhymes are still favorites with babies entering their toddler years, as are books with pictures of animals, vehicles, toys, and children. A few children are ready for very simple stories, though most won’t be willing to sit still for them for several months yet. Even those who are ready usually can’t handle more than three or four minutes with a book at this age—their attention span is still short. You’ll hold it longer if you make reading interactive, a process baby can participate in fully. Stop to discuss the pictures (“Look, that cat is wearing a hat!”), ask your child to point to familiar objects (naming them will come later), and name those he or she hasn’t seen before or doesn’t remember. Eventually (fairly soon for some children), your child will be able to fill in last words of rhymes or sentences in favorite books.
Think numerically. Counting may be a long way off for baby, but the concept of one or many isn’t. Comments like “Here, you can have one cookie,” or “Look, see how many birds are in that tree,” or “You have two kitty cats” will start to inculcate some basic mathematical concepts. Count, or recite, “One, two, buckle my shoe,” as you climb the stairs with your baby, particularly once he or she can walk up while you hold both hands. Sing number rhymes, such as “Baa, baa, black sheep” (when you get to the “three bags full” hold up three fingers, then bend down one finger at a time as you “distribute” the bags) or “This old man, he played one, he played knickknack on my thumb.” Integrate counting into your baby’s life: When you do your crunches, count them out in one through tens; when you’re adding flour to the cookie dough, count out the cups one by one as you add them; when you’re adding banana to your baby’s cereal, count out the slices.
Use signs. Many parents enjoy using signs and hand motions for words with their baby to encourage communication, enhance understanding, and even, as some studies show, promote language development. For more on using baby signs, see page 389.
