––––––––
Johnny leaned down, struggling for the latch to move his seat backwards. He pulled an empty, crushed cigarette box out and a leaking McDonald's coffee cup from underneath.
Firefighter Mildred Potter said, "It's broke. Won't go back none."
Johnny snorted and threw the trash over her shoulder into the backseat. He felt around on the side of his seat, near the door. He reclined the seat down as far as it would. He semi-stretched out.
Firefighter Potter reached into the backseat and yanked out a round red tin bucket, the kind that three flavors of popcorn were sold in. The image on the can was that of confetti and horns and party hats. She flicked a sticky paper towel off the top and said, "Cookie?"
"Happy friggin' New Year," he mumbled.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Here, have some. I baked them yesterday."
Johnny stuck his hand inside and grabbed a raspberry shortbread thumbprint cookie. "Thanks."
She dug in between layers of paper towels and pulled out a grubby fistful of cookies and began munching.
Johnny bit the cookie and it crumbled into dust, leaving just the round congealed raspberry jam stuck in his front teeth. Johnny yanked it out and shoved the jam back to his molars. He wiped the crumbs off of his bomber jacket, onto the trash strewn floor of the vehicle.
She drove through the tunnel into New Jersey. "Mind if I smoke?"
"Go ahead. Your car."
She cracked the driver's window open and lit a long thin, menthol cigarette. Johnny stared out the windshield at the small snowflakes melting on contact with the glass.
Potter said, "You look tired. Lot of runs last night?"
"Eight after midnight."
She said, "I heard about your rescue last tour."
"Just lucky. No big deal."
"No big deal? Come on. All of us wanna be the one to pull a citizen out to safety. Be the big hero. Must've been a rush. What was it like? Give you a boner?"
He rolled his eyes. "I just did what we do on every fire. You've been on a ladder company. Felt around the room in a clockwise sweep, opened a closet door, found her hiding inside. Put my face piece on her and carried her down the stairs. Handed her off to the medic unit."
"They said you got burned."
"Nah. Here's the story, pass it on. Gets bigger with every oration." Johnny recalled napping in Susan's bed afterward. Her asking about what color it was when he'd blown his nose. Worried that it was black and he'd inhaled too much smoke. And her fussing over the burns on his wrist. Such a sweet girl...
Firefighter Potter asked, "So they actually do hide in the closet then..."
"Statistically and in reality, yep. Always remember your training. Check under the beds and in the closets. Some survival thing kicks in and people try to hide from the fire."
"I heard she was one of those perky girls from the reality TV show where they pick the singing stars. I'll bet she'll come around the firehouse and kiss it for you...so grateful that you saved her life..."
Johnny snarled and turned toward the window.
Firefighter Potter said, "So, got any plans for New Year's?"
"We'll be in Emmitsburg."
"They'll let us off for that."
"I'll be studying."
"You get your pre-course materials?"
"Packed in the bag."
Potter coughed, then wiped her runny nose on her sleeve. "There's a bar in town we can walk to. I heard they got a cover band for New Year's Eve—"
"Stop talking, all right?"
"What?"
"I'm sorry, I'm really tired."
Edging up to the tollbooth, she rolled her window all the way down, flicked out the ashes and snatched the toll ticket.
Johnny closed his eyes.
Potter switched on the radio. Christmas music.
Christmas was over. "What Are You Doing New Years Eve?" played.
Johnny had hoped to be in Times Square with his fiancée. Kissing her at midnight. Resolving to adore her for the rest of his life. Now what life did he have? His job. His stupid calling. Yeah, that was fulfilling. When he had first come on the job, it was a rush. Wearing the uniform, walking the walk talking the talk, dousing the flames. He'd get such an endorphin rush when his line would get to the fire first. He'd fistfight with the other guys over who got to deliver the babies. Well, only once. The other O.B. calls were always after the fact and nothing left to deliver but afterbirth and then package up the mother.
He sighed. He wouldn't be there to see Susan deliver their baby. She didn't want to. He pictured her with a swollen belly and breasts and how he'd be extra gentle with her, rear vaginal entry and oral. He craved a taste of her milk. Nope. It would never happen.
Firefighter Potter asked, "You okay?"
He grunted.
"So, if the weather gets too inclement, we'll just find a motel."
He opened his eyes. The snow flakes were huge. Her wipers swished big masses away.
Johnny barked, "I'll drive. Pull over at the next rest area."
"No, it's okay. I'm from Minnesota. This girl does know how to drive in the snow. Doesn't scare me none."
"Then why the crack about the motel?"
She twisted a short strand of wiry mousy brown hair in her fingers and smiled. It looked like she hadn't brushed her teeth in years.
He suppressed a snarl. She was after his cock. What a friggin' long trip this was turning out to be.
"I heard you broke up with Jenna."
"What, am I on the FDNY entertainment channel?" Johnny attempted to conjure up Jenna, a skinny blonde, in his hazy memory.
Firefighter Potter said, "I just figured, since we don't need to report into class until oh-seven-hundred tomorrow, that maybe you and I could..."
"Could what?"
"You know..." She purred, then coughed.
"No, I don't."
She raised her bottle of water and licked the rim. Then tongued inside the tiny opening.
Johnny was astonished at the brazenness of this uniformed firefighter.
She licked all around the circumference of the plastic, then wedged it between her thunder thighs and pumped it up and down. She pulled the bottle out and splashed her chest, then turned it toward Johnny and splattered him in the face.
"Stop it." He wiped his face, slinging the water at her. "You're a friggin' weirdo."
Potter pulled off at a rest area. She unzipped her uniform jacket. Her naked pendulums fell to her waist.
Johnny struggled to free himself from the seatbelt. He threw open the door and snatched his suitcase from the backseat. Stomping into the service area, he made a beeline to the men's room. She couldn't follow him there.
Johnny shoved the door to a stall open. He dropped his suitcase onto the dirty floor and fumbled the silver stall latch closed. He leaned against the cold wall and used his foot to flush what an inconsiderate traveler left.
"Stayin' Alive" rang out. He pulled his cell phone from his coat pocket. He checked the Caller ID: Cervini Brandon. He inhaled and demanded, "What?"
Susan said, "I'm sorry."
He didn't respond.
"Johnny, can you hear me? I'm sorry."
"So."
"We really need to talk."
"Yeah?" Just spit it out and tell me you hate me and I was stupid to imagine you as my wife.
"Face to face."
"I'm on my way to the National Fire Academy."
"Can I meet you there? Where is it in Maryland?"
"No you can't meet me there. I'm staying in the men's dormitory. We're not allowed to have girls in our rooms."
"You can't have visitors?"
"Oh, I don't know."
"Please, Johnny...I'm so sorry. Please, we can't leave things this way. Two weeks is too long...I just know by then you'll have shut me out of your life completely. And probably have hooked up with another girl."
"You should have thought about that before you ran away from me. Do you know how long I had planned that exact special moment? How many times I ran every detail through my mind, practicing, trying to find every chink in the armor? And fixing it so it would be the most beautiful romantic moment in the history of love?"
She cried. "I've screwed everything up! I could have had the most wonderful man in the world for my best friend and lived happily ever after. And I went and ruined it. And now I'm ruined for any other man. So I might as well just run away. Run away from home. There's nothing for me in New York. Nothing for me. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares about me."
"Stop it. Stop it. Stop talking like that. You're feeling sorry for yourself. How the hell do you think I feel? I saved myself for the one girl that found me repulsive. I might as well enlist in the Army and volunteer for land mine clearing. At least I'll go out with a bang."
"Stop it yourself, Johnny. Trying to one up me. You have an honorable career that's your calling. And you can have any sweet young thing you want. I have no job. No career. No calling. And you ruined me. I can never be with anther man now."
"What do you mean I ruined you? Oh, my God, did I hurt you? Say I didn't hurt you? Are you all right? What, did you go the E.R.?"
"What? No you didn't' hurt me. I told you that. But you ruined me with your dirty sex."
Tears fell down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Susan. I knew you were a nice girl. So repressed and innocent. I shouldn't have done it. I just thought that..."
"I'm flying to Florida."
"For how long?"
"Maybe forever. I received a message from Mister Wright. His private eye found Melody. She's alive, Johnny, my cousin is alive!"
"That's wonderful, sweetheart. I'm so happy for you. My battery is getting low...come to the rest stop—" The line went dead.
"Crap!" He didn't get to tell her where. He didn't even know if she heard him or not. He squeezed his suitcase out of the stall and set it by the sink. Turning the water on hot, he lathered up his hands and wrung them. He stared at the man in the mirror. The broken man. He was tired of looking at that ugly guy. It was time he did something. Stop feeling sorry for himself first. Stop crying over what went wrong, what he couldn't have. Let the sun shine through.
So she didn't like the dirty sex. Okay fine. Been there, tried that, oh, well. So they'd just have a lifetime of kissing. He knew she liked that. He'd just have to buy some stock in shower tile cleaner, that was all. He'd make love to her mouth with his mouth. Some girls had kissing orgasms. Rare, but he'd work at it the rest of his life. More girls had mouth orgasms when they had a cock in them than a tongue, but hey, she wasn't a dirty girl. Oh, why'd he have to think about that? He'd love to make love to her mouth with his cock. He'd stimulate the roof of her mouth, the back of her throat, her palate, under her tongue, inside her cheeks, rub it all over her teeth and taste buds. Nope that was out. He'd just settle for lonely explosions in the shower.
Johnny dried his hands. He carried his suitcase to the restaurant and bought a cup of coffee. He sat down at the last table. The place was packed. Lots of folks pulling off the road to wait out the snowfall.
* * * *
Susan groaned and hung up. She punched redial. The call wouldn't go through. She tried and tried and tried, then turned on the radio before sitting down at her computer. She opened the browser. In the search box, she typed "National Fire Academy." Great. She found it right away. It was a part of FEMA. The US Fire Administration. National Emergency Training Center. The campus was in Emmitsburg, Maryland. She printed out the address and driving directions. As she was waiting for the American Airlines page to open, she heard on the news all the area airports had been shut down.
Susan plopped onto the living room sofa. She heard the snow melting on the windows as the flakes blew in a moderate wind. Now and again was there a pronounced howling.
She heard the droning of a Jeep and tires spinning. She peered out the window at the dirty white U.S. Mail Jeep. Susan paid most of her bills through automatic drafts from her checking account each month. She'd turned off "paper bills" for as many as she could. Even her real estate taxes, auto, and homeowner's insurance. She only had to actually go online to pay her two charge cards each month. Most of the time, no checks cleared her account. Only when she went to a craft show and wrote a check to the vendor, or something like that, was she required to actually spell out a check.
Susan heard footsteps stomping up her stoop. Bob ran barking to the front door. She parted the lace curtains on the bay window. Oliver's truck was half turned into her driveway, parked with the exhaust fumes blowing. She held Bob's collar and opened the front door.
"Happy New Year, Susan. I have another package from the dead letter office for you." He grinned.
"Oliver, I've told you, Melody isn't dead. As a matter of fact—"
He took two steps to the right. And there she was.
Susan screamed, "Melody!"
Melody screamed, "Susan!"
The two cousins hugged and kissed. Tears trickled down their cheeks. Oliver even had a little tear in his eye.
Susan asked, "Well, where have you been?"
Oliver said, "I told you, at the dead letter office."
Susan looked at him curiously, then searched her cousin's face.
"Don't listen to him," Melody said.
"I've got to get my route finished. I'll get your bag." He stomped through the four-inch accumulation and fetched a rolling pink duffel bag. He set it in the foyer.
Melody said, "Thanks so much, Oliver."
"You're welcome. We do deliver." He left.
"Come in!" Susan said.
Melody did. Susan closed and locked the storm door and house door. She said, "Here, hang your coat in the foyer closet, I was about to light a fire. I'll get it started now. Do you mind putting on a kettle of water to boil? I have orange and spice tea."
"Sure."
Susan shoved the sooty damper handle straight up. Then she stuck her head inside and checked, just to be sure. She crumpled newspaper and shoved it under the iron log grate. Then she ran down the hall and opened the basement door.
Melody had hung her pink cloth coat in the closet, placed a kettle full of tap water on the stove, and ignited the burner. She was stepping out of the kitchen as Susan was about to trot down into the basement.
Susan nearly tripped. "You're pregnant!" Uh oh, "I'm sorry, are you pregnant? If you're not, then I'm sooo sorry I said that."
Melody smiled. "Yes, I'm not that fat. I've got a baby girl in my tummy."
Susan ran over and placed her hand on Melody's stomach.
Melody said, "She's pretty quiet right now."
"When are you due?"
"Sometime around the ides of March."
"And it's a girl?"
"Yes, well, there wasn't a winkie anywhere to be found when I had the sonogram."
"I'm so happy for you!" Susan hugged her around the neck. "I'll have another live relative! Our family is growing, finally! No more death..."
Melody said, "Yeah, I don't think I'll ever get used to being an orphan, either. No matter how long we live."
Susan asked, "Why did you disappear and not tell me where you went? Persona incommunicado. I didn't know where you were. Zander told me you were dead." Susan stepped past her, walking inside Bob's playpen. He followed her in. She hugged him.
"Oh, he did, did he? That's fascinating. So he's killed me off. I'll bet he's enjoying himself now that the old lady is outta the way."
"I thought you were dead!"
"I'm so sorry, Susan. I had no idea..."
Susan kissed Bob on his whiskery cheek and stepped out of the enclosure. She walked over to Melody and hugged her. "It's okay. You must have had a really good reason to disappear. And I want to hear all about your adventure...and the baby." Susan smiled. "Oh, right, I was going to get some kindling." Susan hurried down the basement stairs and grabbed a bucket full of scrap pine two by fours Johnny had hatcheted up for her. Johnny...what had she done?
When she returned, Melody was standing in the living room near the curio cabinet.
Susan said, "I love the little sea shell and eggshell penguins. Thank you so much." She pointed them out and then assembled an intricate grid of kindling on the iron grate. She stuck a Yule log in the back and three smaller seasoned split oaks on top. Lighting a long fireplace match, she held it up at the flue opening, trying to create a good updraft. She then lit the newspaper and closed the glass doors.
Melody said, "I made them."
"Wow!"
"I work in a sea shell shop now. Now you can refer to your cousin using the tongue twister, 'She sells sea shells by the sea shore'." She smiled.
"I know."
"What do ya mean, you know?"
"Mister Wright."
"Oh, did you like his new CD? Don't you think he should have released track three as the first single?"
"No. Track ten is my favorite."
"Yeah, it's catchy if you like to dance."
Smoke billowed from under the glass doors. The wood hadn't ignited. It just smoldered. Susan opened the fireplace doors and smoke rushed out. She shoved more newspaper underneath and relit it. She left the doors open for more oxygen to feed the fire.
The tea kettle whistled. Melody waddled to the kitchen. Bob chased after her, sniffing and licking.
Susan called out, "Open the sliding glass door, will you?"
"Sure." Melody opened the door and Bob ran into the backyard.
Susan opened the front door and stuck a boot in between the jam and the storm door, cracking it enough for ventilation. Cold wind whooshed inside. She was thankful the smoke detector didn't go off. Smoke detector. Smoky odor on Johnny. Oh, did she miss him.
Back in the living room, the pine kindling had ignited and the smoke was now surging up the chimney. Susan closed the fireplace doors halfway. She removed the boot from the front door and locked up, then proceeded into the kitchen. Bob raced back in. She fastened the sliding glass door.
Melody had the tea bags steeping in two mugs.
"You want anything to eat?" Susan asked.
"Maybe later."
"Okay, good, because I don't know if I have much you'd like. Let's take our tea into the living room."
They sat next to each other on the emerald chenille sofa. Melody wriggled out of her boots and propped her legs on the glass topped coffee table. Susan curled her legs up under her.
She cast a glance at her cousin and said, "So."
"So." Melody returned. "The fire is very nice now."
"Oh! Wait! I've got some magic dust." Susan set her tea on the table and scurried over to the mantel. She opened a tall canister and shook some crystals into her hand. She opened the doors on the fireplace and threw them in. Blue, green and purple flames danced. Susan closed the doors and clapped her hands together over the black slate hearth.
"They're beautiful," Melody said, "Zander doesn't know about the baby."
"Okay." Susan sat and leaned closer to her. "Is it his?"
"Of course she's his baby," she said defensively.
"I wasn't judging you, Mel. You know I would never do that."
"He doesn't want any kids. He wants to get rich quick and live the life of Riley. Not that he doesn't live that now. He's such a lazy ass. I don't know why I ever..."
"Because he loves you."
Melody sipped the hot tea.
Susan asked, "How come you left him? And didn't tell me where you were? Why didn't you call me? You could have come here, you know..." The hurt was evident in her voice.
Melody sat back and stretched her neck. She exhaled and stared into the lilac flames. "I didn't plan on leaving him. It wasn't supposed to be that way. End that way. I tried telling him I was pregnant, but he was such a stupid jerk, spouting off his stupid plans for our stupid lives. He made it very clear they didn't include children. So, with my eyes wide open, I kissed him goodbye."
"So you told him you were leaving?"
Melody shook her head and stood up. "Nope. Didn't know at the time. I drove down to the strip mall for Chinese take-out. While I was sitting there, waiting on my food, I stared at the photo mural behind the counter. The Great Wall of China. Feeling sorry for myself. Never getting to see the world. Never having any of my dreams come true. Then a snippet of a song came into my head '...and tonight I climbed the wall.'"
Melody waddled over to the bay window, where she stared out at the snowy wonderland. Susan followed her and slid her arm around her cousin's shoulder.
"And so I took our food and walked outside, past my car. I walked to the next strip mall and cashed my paycheck at the bank. Then I hopped on a bus to the airport. I sat there waiting for my flight and I ate his damned pork and pancakes. I climbed the wall...by climbing onto a southbound plane."
Bob circled the girls and plopped on their feet with a groan.
"Well, what did you do there? Do you have a friend in Florida?"
"Nope. I caught a bus to Sanibel Island. Barged into the first real estate office I saw. The agent was trying to fill a house-sitting spot for a friend of hers. The guy had to leave in a hurry, something about I.R.S. trouble and couldn't take his personal things. So he couldn't rent it out, but instead wanted a body coming and going, to lower the chance of break-ins."
"So you got to live there rent free?"
"Yep." She smiled. "That was just until October. Then I had to move to another place and before I knew it, my services were in demand. I was doing little two and three week stints in tropical mansions all over Sanibel and Captiva."
"That's amazing!"
They extricated their feet from under the dog and then sat back on the couch. Melody rubbed her belly. "I got a little job working at a sea shell shop. Learned to make some artwork. It was paradise, Susan." Melody's eyes glistened.
"So why did you leave?"
"I knew eventually I'd have to get a job paying decent money and an apartment, once the baby arrives."
Susan frowned, "Yeah, I guess your blessed event brings responsibility."
"Susan, I'm scared. He's coming after me. He's found me. Zander."
"What did he say?"
"Oh, I haven't seen him yet. But Alice, the real estate agent, my friend now, told me there was a private dick asking around about me. Of course it was Zander. I mean, who else would look for me but you and you knew where I was, because I sent you a package and wrote my address on it."
"It was smeared and damaged. I had no idea where you were living. Zander told me you were dead."
"So you mean, you hired a dick to come and find me?"
Susan smiled. "No, it wasn't me. And it wasn't Zander. Don't worry, he's not after you and our precious little next generation."
Melody stood up. "Well, then that's really scary. Who the heck is trying to find me?"
"Mister Wright."
Melody placed her hand on her belly and gave a sarcastic chortle. "Yeah, right. As if he even knows who I am."
"He calls you Angel."
Melody stared at Susan. "What?"
"I was at the hospital. In Austin. I went to be tested to see if I could donate part of my liver for his little boy. Did you hear about that?"
"Yes." Melody said quietly. "You went? You really were going to give up your liver?"
"Of course. Brandon had wanted to be an organ donor, but they only recovered his...his..." Susan shuffled over to the fire and picked up the poker. "I was hoping to find you there. Now I understand why you weren't...of course you couldn't donate, it makes sense now."
Melody said, "I heard on the news they got a donor and the operation was successful."
"That's right. So we didn't even get tested."
"We?"