CHAPTER 23

The Only Known Cure for Premature Ejaculation

(May 30, 2015)

Heather and I were cuddled up in bed watching television. This was Saturday, our day off. The news happened to be on. We saw stories about the latest terrorist alert in Los Angeles, troop movements in Afghanistan, nuclear weapons in North Korea, the gang-related murders of innocent children in South Central, hate crimes inspired by religious demagogues in expensive suits. It all seemed rather familiar to me. One story stood out above the rest. It was a local story about an old naked man who had hobbled into a bank in North Hollywood in an attempt to rob it, armed only with a bamboo cane and a cigarette lighter. Believing the lighter to be a gun, the security guards shot him twice in the head. He died before he even hit the ground. Strangely, his entire body had been covered in a clear viscous liquid that remained unidentified.

The old man’s name was not known.