It’s the day of Clemmy’s wedding and I’m flying around, trying to get ready.
Dropping my lipstick down the toilet, I let out a loud curse.
‘It’s your fault for dragging me back to bed,’ says a voice.
I turn to find Jake lounging in the doorway, giving me that lazy smile of his that always reduces me to a jelly.
I laugh. ‘I think it was a fairly mutual dragging, if I remember correctly. Now, stop looking at me like that. You’re distracting me. I need to find this book.’
‘Wuthering Heights?’
‘Yes, I said I’d lend it to Clemmy. She’s never read it and she’s decided she’s horrified at her lack of knowledge of the classics!’
‘You’d better take it to her, then,’ he says, and produces a book from behind his back.
‘Ah! You found it. Well done.’
‘Where’s my prize?’
‘What prize?’
‘My prize for finding the book. A kiss will do.’
‘Okay.’ I sidle up to him and he grabs me against him and we kiss as if we actually aren’t in any danger of being late for this wedding …
‘Give me the book,’ I gasp at last, laughing as he holds it behind his back. ‘No, seriously, give it to me. It was Mum’s all-time favourite. I’d like it to stay in one piece.’
Something falls out of it. A slip of paper. Frowning, I bend to pick it up.
My heart lurches. It’s a letter addressed to me in Mum’s writing.
‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes. But I need to sit down.’ Breathless, I move over to a chair and sink down. Then I hold the letter in trembling hands. A memory comes to me. That last day at the hospital. Mum murmuring Wuthering Heights and me thinking she wanted me to read it to her …
Perhaps she wanted me to find her letter.
Taking a breath, I start to read.
*
My darling Daisy
This is a very hard letter to write. Mainly because I love you so very much and the very last thing I’d ever want to do is disappoint you or hurt you. I’ve thought a million times about how to say this to you so that you’ll understand. But in the end, I’m just going to have to write it down and hope you’ll be fine.
You’ve always known you were adopted. But what you don’t know is that your birth mother came to find you but I never told you. I suppose I was terrified I might lose you.
Should I have told you? I kept meaning to but then time kept flying by. And now that I’m ill, I don’t want to spoil our last weeks together. Please don’t hate me for not being honest with you.
My dearest wish now is that you find the woman who gave birth to you.
She must have regretted her decision to have you adopted, and why wouldn’t she? You have been the loveliest thing in my life but now I must leave you and it scares me terribly to think of you all alone in the world.
So find this woman, please, my darling.
When she meets you, she will know how wonderful you are and she will love you like I do. I know she will.
Remember that I love you with all my heart and I will always be with you.
And please, please, please promise me you will search for her.
Remember the good times and be happy, my darling.
Your Mum XXX
*
Wordlessly, I pass the letter to Jake to read. Then I slump down on the sofa, so many different emotions crashing through me.
After all my worries that I was being disloyal to Mum by enjoying Sylvia’s company, here she is giving me her blessing! My heart feels as if it might explode with love for her.
Jake pulls me gently to my feet and kisses my cheek. Then he holds me so tightly against him for the longest time …