“Chat with us,” the younger bikers pleaded as MJ started serving them organic salad with roasted sesame dressing on their plates. It used to be that the club’s dining hall stayed empty. Although Hallie had always served as some sort of mother hen to the club, she was also notoriously bad at cooking and preferred to spend most of her time in the garage working on the bikes.
In MJ, everyone found what they didn’t get from Hallie – someone domesticated enough to make the kitchen a cozy place to hang out in. Of course, it also meant that they had to bear with her love for greens and healthy food. But since she was extremely amusing, the bikers were able to tolerate her mostly vegan diet.
“I’m not here to be your entertainer, you guys.” After checking to ensure that every one of the bikers had his salad, she grabbed her camera and started taking photos.
Everyone groaned.
“Oh come on, this is what I’m here for.”
“No stories, no photos.”
In one corner of the kitchen, Yuri stood next to the window and observed the scene with quiet satisfaction. MJ was a good addition to the club, probably the best since Hallie. He knew that MJ thought everyone was humoring her, but it was the opposite. She didn’t know it, but she was the one humoring the guys.
Every member of the club hankered for family, secretly or not, and with MJ they had the little sister they all wanted. While none of them lacked for female company, they also knew that girls wanted to be with them for a reason. Money, power, fame, sex – there always was a reason.
But like Hallie, the members of the club were sure that MJ did not want any one of those from them. After all, MJ had...
“My secret crush then,” MJ decided after a beat.
Everyone groaned, but it was a good-natured sound. In truth, it was MJ’s secret crush that had everyone at ease with her. Most of the guys felt safe teasing MJ, knowing they would not be misunderstood. Some liked to flirt with her outrageously, knowing that she would not reciprocate. After all, she did have her secret crush, and the story of how she became part of the club was now legendary.
She made a face. “Well, what else am I going to talk about?”
“Yeah, yeah. Fine. We got it. Talk about him then while we eat your salad.”
Another one asked with a frown, “But he’s here? He’s really a part of the club?”
MJ turned red. Every time the question could be answered with Helios’ name, she just couldn’t help but blush.
The sight of MJ’s reddened cheeks had everyone laughing.
“And you haven’t made your move yet?” a freshmen member demanded. “You’re so slow.”
“I’m not slow. I’m...biding my time.”
The biker next to her snorted. “Does he even know you exist?”
“Of course he does.”
“I just don’t get why he doesn’t make the first move instead,” the biker on her other side muttered. “Maybe he’s got a girlfriend?”
****
Helios watched MJ shake her head almost violently at the question. “He’s not that kind of man! He’s gentle and nice...”
“Knock, knock.” A mocking voice said behind the door just before Kellion walked into the study.
Helios swiftly snapped his laptop shut and stood up. “What is it?”
Kellion only smirked. “No need to feel edgy. I know you’ve been watching MJ on the CCTV. Your laptop’s screen was reflected on the window behind you.”
Helios grimaced.
Kellion headed towards the minibar at the corner. He took out an energy drink from the fridge. As he tore the wrapper off its lid, he remarked casually, “I never knew you would last this long, you know.”
Helios did not answer, his face stoic.
“It’s been over two weeks. You’ve been watching her all the time. Why don’t you just take her?”
Helios said silkily, “Maybe because I would like to honor her ‘secret crush’?”
“Bullshit.” Kellion took a long gulp of his energy drink. “You’re never one to let anything stand in the way when you want something. What’s different now?”
Helios did not answer.
“Has it never occurred to you, the possibility that you could be her secret crush?”
Kellion’s words warranted a humorless laugh from Helios. “Have you heard her speak about him? I have. Because you’re right. Every goddamn day I watch her like a stalker. I am obsessed with her. I need to think about her just so my cock will get hard and when I fuck another woman, I pretend it’s her. That’s how low I’ve sunk, and I don’t even fucking understand why I want someone like her.”
The words were spoken with such harsh emotion that Kellion knew there was nothing he could say in return. He had never seen Helios feel so strongly about anyone...at least not since Helios had learned of his brother’s betrayal.
Everything had changed for his friend since then.
Everything had become black, with seemingly no chance of light ever coming into Helios’ life...until one girl had skidded into his life and made Helios’ heart start beating again.
There was no redemption left for Kellion, but Helios was a different case, and he would do everything he could for his friend to start living again.
“It’s possible—-”
Helios cut his friend off curtly, “No. It’s not. You’ve heard her speak about him, too. She says he’s kind. The kindest man she’s ever known. Someone gentle.” His lips twisted and he asked mockingly, “Does that sound like me, Kellion?”
“No. It doesn’t sound like you. But you can be that person again. You were that person before.” Kellion gestured to the laptop. “Why be satisfied with just watching her from afar? For her, can’t you be that person again?”
Helios shook his head. “I will not be weak again.”
Kellion did not answer. When Helios spoke like that, he knew there was no changing his friend’s mind.
****
It was almost eleven in the evening when MJ made it back to the club’s headquarters. She was tired and hungry, and because of both, she was irritable, too. Why in the world did Helios Andreadis have to build his club’s headquarters so far from the main campus anyway? Did he know how many calories she had to burn just to cross the football field to get here? She hated burning calories. She hated it because that meant exercise, which was synonymous to training. The latter word reminded her of all the training she had with James.
Crossing the dimly lit living room, MJ made her way directly to the kitchen. Switching the lights on, she threw her backpack on the counter and prepared to cook herself a meal. Since it was a Tuesday, most of the bikers would probably be out racing and come home at around three in the morning.
MJ said a quick prayer.
Dear God, please let them eat out because right now I’m too tired to cook, but Andrea’s gone so now I have to take over and cook for them.
It was a selfish prayer, and feeling guilty about it, MJ decided to pray again.
I’m sorry God for being selfish. If they’re hungry after the race, of course I’m going to cook for them. Please just make it easy for me to wake up later?
There. That was better. With a happy smile, she started whistling as she cooked herself some mac and cheese. The real kind, not the one that needed to be microwaved.
“Mmm...” She couldn’t help sighing in pleasure when the aroma of mac and cheese hit her nostrils. She took a seat and as she started to dig in, her mind drifted back to her talk with Hallie earlier this morning.
––––––––
“Your secret crush is Helios, isn’t he?”
Hallie’s softly spoken words had an unexpectedly positive effect on MJ. She was so shocked by the other girl’s words that the urge to throw up stopped. Slowly, she opened the tap and rinsed her mouth. When she was done, she saw Hallie through the mirror, gazing at her with a look of sympathy on her face.
She whispered, “It’s really not a crush. That’s just something Kellion came up with. It’s more than that. I just...I just feel a connection with him.”
MJ allowed Hallie to lead her out of the bathroom and into one of the bedrooms. The other girl made her sit on the bed, and she did. Although she and Hallie were of the same age, Hallie was like a little general with the way she commanded people around her with such ease, using a gentle word or a look of chastisement to get everyone to do her bidding.
“I’m sorry about what you had to see this morning.”
“It’s okay. It wasn’t the first time.”
“Do you want another volunteer to trade tasks with you?”
She shook her head quickly, completely disliking the idea of yet another girl being able to enter Helios’ room.
“I’m not a girl who easily takes risks, MJ. But for you...for Helios...I will. Kellion, Yuri, Helios, and I, we’ve known each other for a long time. We’ve known each other the longest. Even when we were kids, we were all that each other had so you can say we’re a family and we’re extremely loyal to each other.” Hallie was gripping her skirt hard as she spoke.
MJ said hesitantly, “You don’t have to...”
“No. I want...I think I need to tell you. Helios wasn’t always so hard to reach. He wasn’t...as unfeeling. Once, he was like...Kellion. He was the most popular kid in school. Everyone liked him. Even though he was a bastard – a son of his father’s mistress – no one treated him differently because he was just...just like his name, you know? He shone. He was good at everything. And his older brother always came out second best. And it ate at Herod. Helios adored him as a big brother, but Herod hated him.”
Hallie took another deep breath. “Then Helios fell in love with this girl, Odessa. We all liked her. She was wonderful. Helios would do anything for her. He loved her so much. But she had all of us fooled. When it was his eighteenth birthday, she came to the party with Herod. And it was obvious for anyone to see that they were together. That they had just had sex. And if it wasn’t obvious, they took pleasure in telling everyone about it. Herod even went up on stage and...”
Hallie struggled to breathe.
MJ couldn’t breathe either.
“He told us in explicit detail what Odessa had been able to make Helios do. It wasn’t dirty! Even I knew it wasn’t bad, wasn’t dirty, wasn’t wrong! What Helios did, he did it out of love. But the way Herod spoke of it...”
Hallie looked at MJ with beseeching eyes. “You understand now, right? He’s just afraid. That’s all. He’s just afraid.”