Chapter 2

 

We left Catch 31 about two hours later. Now, I had Reggie all to myself. We didn’t get to the hotel until about ten that night. He booked us an ocean view room about six months ago, which landed us on the fourth floor with a king-size bed, couch, and a two-chair dinette. When we walked into our room, I was instantly drawn to the sliding glass door. While Reggie set our suitcases next to the bed, I stepped out onto the balcony, staring into the peaceful ocean. It was dark and I could hear the waves crashing together. The fresh air was enough to wake all of my senses.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Reggie asked, closing his arms around me, hugging me from behind while his five o’clock shadow brushed up against my face. I closed my eyes, let out a deep breath and placed my hands on top of his. This tranquility – the ocean and my best friend – was the break I needed.

“Yeah. It is.”

“This beach is a part of us, you know. I don’t think I could ever leave this city.”

“Me either. I love it here.” We both stared out into the ocean as if it was our first time seeing it in all its beauty. Reggie squeezed me tighter and while I tried to pull his arms off of me, he spun me around so I was facing him – my butt shoved against the railing and his arms caging me in, blocking me from escaping.

“Tiff, look at me for a minute,” he told me since I was shyly looking away, staring at nothing. I was being a nervous wreck, too timid to even make eye contact with him, my best friend, the boy who grew up to be this fine man standing before me now. I somehow found the nerve to look up like he wanted. “Why have you been so jumpy around me lately?” he asked. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing.” I tried to escape from this temporary prison, but was unsuccessful. Reggie pulled me closer instead.

“You sure? Nothing you want to talk to me about?”

“No, there’s nothing,” I said, barely looking at him, knowing there was indeed something. I was in love with him, but too afraid to tell him.

“But if there was something, you would tell me, right?” Reggie pressed.

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Reggie said, then turned me loose. I walked back into the room, ripped the plastic off of my new CD and popped it in the DVD player. I skipped to Lollipop right way and started singing.

Reggie came in shortly after I did, but left the door open. He unbuttoned his white shirt and slid it off as he walked to the bed where I was sitting. I promise he did stuff like that intentionally to make me hot. I caught a few glimpses but I couldn’t let Reggie see me checking him out.

I grabbed some shorts and a tank top out of my suitcase and went into the bathroom to get comfortable. When I came out, Reggie had the trunk on the bed, on top of a ripped-open, Food Lion paper grocery bag.

“You wanna do the honors?” he asked me. I took the key out of my purse and unlocked our past. The first thing I saw when I opened the trunk was a picture of me and Reggie in a sandbox. We had to have been about four or five years old.

“Wow. Now that’s taking it back…waaay back,” he said as he laid flat on his stomach, propped up on his elbows looking up at me. The muscles on his back caught my interest but I looked away.

I sat there in Indian style taking stuff out of the trunk, and as I was deciding what to pull out next, Reggie playfully fiddled with my toes. I took out another picture of us lying on the floor with pillows and sheets at my house. I would have guessed our age to be about eleven in this snapshot. Reggie and I had slept over at each other’s houses many nights back then, which was probably the reason why he still wanted to do it now.

“You were so adorable,” I told him. “Even back then you had them lil’ girls fighting over you.”

“Ah, stop it.”

“Am I lying Reggie? You know I’m telling the truth.”

“Well, you know I ain’t never been one to brag but…” Reggie laughed.

I hit him with one of the white pillows on the bed (which didn’t even faze him) then pulled a small teddy bear out of the box.

“You remember that. I gave that to you when we were in the sixth grade,” Reggie said as he examined the bear.

“Yeah. I remember.”

“It’s crazy how far back we go, huh? Besides our parents, you’re the only one who knows everything about me.”

“And you’re the only one who knows me.” I respected Reggie for keeping me by his side as his friend. He could’ve easily pushed me away for one of his boys, but he didn’t. “Reg, did you ever think you would end up having a girl as a best friend, because most guys—”

Reggie cut me short. “I’ve never regretted you,” he sternly corrected me before I could even finish my statement.

“What?”

“I’ve never regretted having you as my best friend, Tiffany, if that’s where you were going.”

“Okay. You don’t have to get so serious,” I laughed it off. “I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a question.”

“Yeah, a question I’ve answered how many times before, Tiff?”

Reggie rose up off of the bed and sauntered to the bathroom. I must have struck a nerve. The one thing I didn’t like about Reggie was his quick temper. If you said or did something he didn’t like you had it coming. When he came out of the bathroom I knew I was in trouble.

“Why do you always do that, Tiffany?” he asked me as he sat on the bed again. That’s another thing. Whenever he called me Tiffany, he was dead serious about something. He would usually only call me by my nickname, Tiff, force of habit.

“Reggie, I wasn’t trying to imply anything. I was just making conversation.”

“Yeah, but you know how I feel about you and our friendship. You know.”

“I do.”

“So why would you even ask me something like that? I’ve been defending our relationship for years. You know how many women have come and gone out of my life because of you?” Reggie placed his hands on his head and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong.”

“No. It came out right.”

He was right. Almost every relationship Reggie attempted to have was ruined over me. Even now his current girlfriend, Shontay, was getting tired of him putting me before her, and she had every right to be. The bottom line is, Reggie and I are close – so close, even our parents were trying to talk us into getting married after high school. They said it jokingly but deep down I knew they were serious.

“You know what, Reggie? I’m gonna go. This doesn’t feel right anymore.” Though his comment was true and I’ve known this all along, it hurt to actually hear him say it. He made it seem as if I had become a thorn in his side. I was the reason he couldn’t keep a woman. I slipped my feet into some pink flip-flops and grabbed my purse.

Reggie jumped in front of me, barricading the door. “We’ve had this tradition of staying at the beach every year of college, and this year ain’t no exception.”

“Reggie, move.”

“No.”

“Come on now. Get out of the way.”

“Tiff, told you I didn’t mean it like that. You know what I meant. Stop being so serious.” He picked me up and dropped me midway the bed, his body looming over me like a dark rain cloud. “You ain’t leaving me girl.” Then he started tickling me. Since I was still mad at him, I tried my best to hold in the laughter, but it burst out of me. I was giggling so hard, I could hardly stop. Once he got back on my good side, Reggie fell on the bed beside me.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that, baby. I don’t care about those girls.”

“But I want you to care. I don’t want to be the third wheel in all of your relationships.”

“You’re not the third wheel. You’re the second.”

“And that’s the problem. I shouldn’t be the second. Shontay should have that position – not me.”

“But you’re my best friend. I’ve known you longer than her.”

“True, but sometimes I feel like I’m in your way, especially in Shontay’s way.”

Reggie turned on his side to face me.

“Look at me,” he said. I stared deep into his dark brown eyes. He continued, “You could never be in my way. I love you. I respect you. I value our friendship. Nothing is going to change that, ah’ight? Not even Shontay.”

I smiled at him. Reggie didn’t want to let me go. I dared to imagine what life would be like without him as well, but I wanted him differently than he wanted me. I wanted him to fall in love with me.

Then again, I loved Reggie so much, I wanted him to be happy. If that meant it was with Shontay, then so be it. I just found it difficult to watch another woman date the man I was in love with and for that reason I needed to let him go. That way, he would be free to pursue a life with Shontay and live happily ever after like a well written fairytale. I would put aside my feelings, and maybe one day I would get over it, but to do that – to leave Reggie behind would hurt him, and I would rather die than see him hurt.

I love him that much.