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The journey onward
After the fog
Emelia Reynolds
Blinking at the countryside rushing past the window, my brain tried to rationalize the scrambled events of the day in much the same way as my eyes attempted to focus on one tree after the other. All of the pieces of the puzzle were there, each tree registering in my brain as it whizzed past, but however hard I tried, I couldn’t concentrate on a single damn one.
Straightening in my seat, I forced my thoughts to slow down and recall each significant moment, one by one. First, there had been the satisfying sex with Nathanial—when he’d still been known as Ewan. That had been unexpected, especially since I’d half feared he’d been shot at Laurel’s school, but I had no regrets. The man in the driver’s seat was still an enigma, but despite everything, he’d been there for me. Hell, that made him unique as far as men in my life were concerned.
I swallowed down the perturbing realization. No promises had been made between us, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to wish we’d never met. Nathanial had awoken something in me, something that reminded me I was still a woman. My heart picked up its pace at the exciting acknowledgment. However stoic I’d been about independence after Sam, I knew I’d accepted deep down that I wanted more of what Nathanial had to offer.
The new man in my life would never be the most important person, though. That accolade belonged to my daughter, and after everything we’d been through together, it always would.
Laurel.
My lips twitched as a mental image of my gorgeous girl sprang into my head. I’d agreed, against my better judgment, that Laurel could go to her friend’s house for the day. After the trauma of the fog the day before, it had pained me to consent to the separation, but on some level, I knew it was necessary. Laurel needed a dose of normality in her life, however meager it was. Years of Sam’s toxic behavior followed by uprooting us to a new place had been understandably challenging for her. Now, it seemed I was going to have to rip my daughter from yet another life—but this time, we weren’t on our own.
I glanced around to acknowledge Sally in the back seat before my attention returned to Nathanial. Gripping the wheel, his focus was on the road ahead.
How the hell am I going to explain this to Laurel?
“Are you okay?” Nathanial peered my way. “You’re suspiciously quiet.”
“Yeah.” I pulled in a breath and threw Sally a nervous smile.
I was quiet. Probably because I couldn’t stop overthinking every lurid detail of what had happened. It was strange that, in the end, only the three of us had made it out of the small house I’d been renting. Ironically enough, Sally and Nathanial had been the only two I’d had any time for before the fog had captured us there, and aside from Laurel who had thankfully been with Chloe, we were the only survivors.
Apart from Cilla.
Tension seeped into my muscles at the memory. Cilla was still alive. We’d left her with the corpses of Maureen and Mary, but she’d been fighting fit and would have her own story to tell.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “It’s just... today has been a lot.”
That was an understatement. The last few hours had revealed more about the dark side of humanity than I’d ever believed possible, and I’d experienced more darkness than most.
“It’s been crazy.” Sally’s voice was hardly even a whisper.
“We move forward.” Nathanial’s tone was clipped. “There’s no choice.”
“Wh-what do you mean?” Sally pulled in a sharp breath.
“What I said.” His hands blanched as they gripped the wheel tighter. “We’ll have key members of the British government zeroing in on us. Cilla already contacted Eddie O’Hearne before we fled, remember? They’ll be onto us.”
Onto us?
My throat dried at the terrifying prospect. “We need to get to Laurel.”
“Laurel will be okay.” He stared at the road. “We’re not far from the address you gave me, and you’ve already messaged her to say we’re coming.”
“Right.” A part of me was still cringing at the spiteful tone of Laurel’s reply, my gaze falling to the phone in my hands. “She didn’t seem very pleased about the change of plan.” And she’ll loathe what has to happen next. I held my breath at the final line, unable to bring myself to vocalize the words.
“She’ll get over it.” Nathanial sounded very certain. “She’ll also have no choice.”
“She’ll always have a choice,” I snapped, regretting my snide tone in an instant. I hadn’t intended to take my angst out on the only man who might ever have cared for me, but I had to be clear about the boundaries Laurel and I had put into place. God knows we worked hard to erect them. “I promised her that much when I left Sam. No more being forced into corners. She has a choice and the right to stand up and be counted.”
“You know what I mean.” His attractive gaze slid fleetingly to me. “I agree with everything you’ve said, but we have to be sensible. Wilson might be prime minister, but it doesn’t make him reputable, and it sure as hell won’t stop him from taking us out if we prove to be suitably bothersome.”
“Bothersome?” Sally laughed at his choice of vocabulary. “Is that what we are?”
“No.” He stretched the word into a long sigh. “What we are is a threat, and Wilson’s government has a proven track record of eradicating those.”
“They do?” My brows knitted.
Being so cossetted and down-trodden by Sam for so long meant I hadn’t been exposed to news or the politics of the day. I hadn’t even known the man who’d abused me all those years ago had gone on to become the country’s leader until it had been announced at our rental home, and who knew when I’d be able to process what that meant? Ever since Nathanial had coaxed away the mental barriers I’d so deftly created, the terrible recollections of what Sam and his so-called friend had done kept bleeding back into my consciousness. It was like waking up to discover my nightmare had been real.
“They do.” Nathanial blew out a breath. “We’ll have to stay low for a while. Once we have Laurel, I suggest we ditch our phones.”
“Why?” The pounding in my head was making it increasingly difficult to think.
“Because they can trace us that way.” The resignation in Sally’s voice vibrated along my spine.
Sally was usually so happy-go-lucky. The idea that the smiley woman I met for the occasional coffee had been reduced to the weary, emotionally exhausted one now sitting in the back of the car was demoralizing. But then again, a lot about the last couple of days had been.
“Exactly,” Nathanial confirmed. “We need to get off-grid.”
Off-grid? I turned in his direction. What the hell did that mean? The United Kingdom was tiny. There was no way of truly disappearing on such a minuscule landmass.
“Laurel won’t like that either.” Anxiety clawed at my stomach as I imagined just how much my daughter would loathe the idea. “She’s only just made decent friends around here.”
“She’ll be okay.” Sally’s tone was soothing as she reached for my shoulder. “She’s young and resilient, Em, and she has a great mum.”
Managing a small smile, I met my friend’s eyes. Sally had been little more than a casual acquaintance before the fog descended, but the last few hours had proved otherwise. Like the others, Sally had only been embroiled in the fog because of her own mistakes, but she had been prepared to stand up for me. In a house full of back-stabbing self-servers, she and Nathanial had really stood out.
“Thanks.” Turning to face the road, my apprehension grew as we neared the place Laurel was staying.
So much had transpired since I’d last set eyes on my daughter. So much I needed to explain, yet so much that seemed unfathomable.
I’d vowed to keep Laurel safe, but the house we’d stayed in had been ridden with liars and traitors. As it turned out, no one had genuinely been safe there. Least of all me.
Maureen, Cilla, and the others had all been part of the closing net—a plan to drag me into custody at the mercy of the monster who was in charge of the government. The covert group had been close to achieving its aim too. Mary in particular had seemed hellbent on destroying me, and I dreaded to think how things would have played out if she had accomplished her twisted goal.
If it hadn’t been for Nathanial, I’d be screwed.
But even Nathanial had turned out to be an undercover cop. He’d been lying too. I hadn’t even known his real name until he’d come clean.
My focus flitted to the side of his face as he turned off the main road toward Chloe’s house. How did I know I could trust him? True, he’d played my hero from that first hour on board the train, but perhaps that had all been part of the performance. Was it possible that this car journey could be just another chapter in the story someone else was writing?
The tragic reality was that, yes, it could be.
The last few hours had unfolded to reveal multiple shattering disclosures and two more deaths. The people I’d invited into my home had been prepared to kill.
But then, so had I.
My throat dried as the truth washed over me.
I killed Sam. I put the crushed sleeping pills into his drink and watched as he drained it. I’d waited until he was out for the count before forcing the pillow over his nose and mouth.
I did that.
Fixing my stare on a nearby tree, I couldn’t say how I felt about the deed. The only easily identifiable emotion was that same warm numbness I’d known before. The same detachment that had allowed me to avoid the truth for so long. But deep down, I’d known. I might not have wanted to admit the truth, but I’d understood it well enough. Sam was out of the picture because I compelled him out. He’d been a parasite. He’d have sucked the life out of me and done horrendous things to Laurel in the process, while all the time posing as her father, and I wasn’t prepared to let that happen.
I had no regrets about setting us free, but it made me a murderer. No better than the men Nathanial seemed determined to keep me from. No better than any of them.
My eyes closed as Nathanial slowed the car. I’d fooled myself into thinking Sam had died of natural causes, just as I’d hoodwinked myself into thinking he’d been her father, who had conceived her in love.
I hadn’t recalled any of the horror of the night she’d been created until Nathanial had disclosed the details of the video he’d seen. That was when it had all come flooding back in sharp, fractured fragments of memories that threatened to tear me apart—the undeniable truth that I’d been drugged and offered to the odious man who now called himself the prime minister.
Trepidation ratcheted as I held back the torrent of emotion that rose at my verdict. We were close to Chloe’s home. I couldn’t risk an avalanche of tears escaping.
At least we’re free.
Steeling myself, I tried to hold onto that much, at least.
Somehow, we’d gotten out of the house. Somehow, the four of us were unharmed and Laurel was safe. I’d find a way out of the latest dark hole. I always did, didn’t I?
But we’re not really free, are we?
For so long, I’d lived under the pretense of liberation—of the independent life Laurel and I had carved out at the rental home—but the entire time, I was being scrutinized. I was subject to investigations that could see me in custody and Laurel taken into care. After so many years of scratching an existence to be out of Sam’s clutches, and after months of fighting so we could have a better life, how had our lives been reduced to the same terrifying question?
Who can we trust to get us out alive?
“This is it.” Nathanial gestured to the large house up ahead as I opened my eyes. “Do you want to jump out and grab Laurel, Em? I’ll turn the car around.”