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Reality by the Dashboard
“What took you two so long?” Sally’s tone was wry as she shoveled another snack into her mouth. “Laurel and I were starting to get worried.”
“We had to find the bag with the food.” I glared in Sally’s direction, taking comfort in the fact it was at least half true.
“Sure.” Laurel laughed dryly. “We believe you, Mum.”
“Do you want the truth?” Nathanial’s tone sounded severe compared to the rest of us. “Because I’m happy to share.”
Sally glanced my way before she answered. “We’re only joking, Nathanial.”
“Sorry.” His fingers tightened on the wheel, and momentarily, I wondered if I should have offered to drive. The truth was that the Mercedes was a bigger vehicle than I was used to, but I’d managed the ambulance. I’m sure I’d have coped. “Ignore me.”
“Nathanial was showing me how to use this.” I rummaged in my large purse and tentatively pulled out the gun for Sally and Laurel to see.
A part of me loathed the idea of Laurel even knowing there was a gun. She fortunately hadn’t been a witness to the carnage that had taken place at the rental house, but I’d have no choice but to involve her in whatever came next. Much though I didn’t want to scare her, she was old enough to understand the extent of the danger we were in. She’d need all her awareness to keep her alive.
“Mum!” Laurel physically recoiled, sliding across the leather interior. “Why have you got a gun?”
“Mary had it at the house.” Anxiety knotted at the recollection of what Mary had tried to accomplish.
“What?” Laurel shook her head. “Why?”
“That’s another long story.” I pushed the weapon away and shoved the bag to the footwell. If there was a good time to reveal to my daughter that I’d killed the man she thought was her father and Mary had come to bring me to justice, that wasn’t it. “Let’s just say she wasn’t our friend.”
Laurel stared at me, her eyes wide. “Something happened while I was at Chloe’s, didn’t it?”
“Yes.” I nodded, acknowledging how the atmosphere in the car had shifted from convivial to cold in a matter of moments. “A lot happened, sweetheart.”
“Is that what you’re going to tell me about?” Laurel’s voice dropped to a whisper. “When you can?”
“Yes,” I repeated, although I still had no fucking idea where to begin.
It wasn’t that I was worried about her judgment—not really. Of everyone in the world, Laurel knew what Sam had put me through and she knew what he deserved. But the news that I’d ended Sam’s life, coupled with the doubt over his paternity of her, and the fact the prime minister seemed to want us out of the equation, would be information overload.
I wasn’t sure how anyone was supposed to receive news like that. Let alone a teenager.
“Okay.” She swallowed and turned to look out of the window, but I didn’t have to be a psychologist to fathom how uncomfortable the gun had made her.
Frankly, I concurred. I didn’t like having the thing either, but after Nathanial had given me a brief overview of which was the safety and which was the trigger, he’d insisted that I take it, reminding me, that he too had another weapon in his jacket pocket. He’d apparently also managed to squirrel some bullets from Mary’s purse, which meant both guns could be reloaded if the need arose. I shuddered at the terrifying prospect, trying not to consider what type of event would have to transpire for yet more bullets to be required.
“It’s important Mum can look after you both, Laurel.” Shifting into a higher gear, Nathanial glanced around at my daughter. “The people after us won’t play fair, so neither can we.”
Her shoulders sagged. “This sounds serious.”
“It is.” I slid closer along the back seat and reached for her hand. “Nathanial’s doing what he can to help us. That’s all.”
I wanted to tell her not to worry, wanted to assure her that everything would be all right, but how could I? I’d made a promise to myself not to lie to Laurel anymore, vowing that we’d deal only in honesty from the day we walked out of the shitty little house we’d shared with Sam, but when those heady principles had floated to my mind, I hadn’t been contemplating guns and custody. Our world had changed since we’d rented the new house and found a school for Laurel, and despite my best intentions, it was going to change again.
“How about we stay here?” Sally interrupted the impending sense of doom as she gestured to a well-lit building open ahead.
Lost in my conversation with Laurel, I’d barely noticed the day slipping into dusk around us, but as Nathanial slowed the vehicle, the bleeding light was obvious.
“What is it?” I shifted forward as far as my safety belt permitted, trying to make out where she referred to.
“Just a roadside place.” She glanced back at me. “Nothing special, but it’s somewhere we can sleep.”
Nathanial was already signaling to pull into the place. “We need somewhere to rest, and I have plenty of cash for a place like this.”
Plenty of cash? My brow furrowed at his foresight.
Why would Nathanial have a wad of cash with him? Sure, his employer would have provided him with expenses to cover his transport and accommodation, but that didn’t usually include bundles of notes. But then, Nathanial had been planning this for a long time, hadn’t he? Knowing he was going to counter Mary’s investigation and manage the fog at St. Mary Bonhunt’s station. Maybe he’d had time to save for all manner of eventualities, although surely, he couldn’t have conceived the things we’d already been through.
Or maybe he’s not the knight in shining armor I think he is?
Pushing the nagging voice of doubt from my mind, I clung to the conclusion I’d reached when he’d held me at the back of the Mercedes. I had to believe in him, had to have faith that he was as good as his word, and so far, he’d done little to let me or Laurel down. Hell, he’d already trampled on his no doubt blossoming career just to help us. There was little reason to believe his superiors would be impressed by the way his impertinence had crushed Mary’s investigation, and he’d told me how his feelings had got in the way of his mission.
“Okay.” I heard the word escape my lips, even though I couldn’t remember ordering it to. We pulled into the dimly lit parking lot before he switched off the engine.
Ultimately, logic had won out. It had been one hell of a day, and we did need somewhere to rest. Whatever my paranoid misgivings, I had to think of Laurel.
“I’ll go in and see what rooms they have.” Nathanial unfastened his safety belt and reached for the door.
“Let’s have adjoining rooms,” I blurted out. “I don’t want us to be separated.”
Nathanial paused, turning back Sally’s way. “Do you feel the same, Sally?”
“Well.” She hesitated, clutching her purse to her chest. “I see what Emelia means. I wouldn’t want to be in a room too far from you guys, but I don’t really fancy sharing a room either. Shall I come with you?”
“Sure.” Nathanial nodded. “Em, you and Laurel stay here. If there’s no space, we’ll need to move on.”
“Got it.” Casting a glance around the abandoned place, I found it difficult to believe the motel would be fully booked, but there was no point in arguing. I was happy to stay with Laurel. “We’ll wait.”
Light flooded the interior as Nathanial and Sally opened their doors. I glanced at Laurel, noticing just how weary she looked. No doubt the reality of not being able to contact her friends was only just starting to dawn on her.
“How are you doing?” My question was drowned by shadow as both doors were closed simultaneously.
“Okay, I guess.” Her small shrug was just visible in the half-light. “Today has not turned out the way I expected.”
“I’m sorry we have to move again.” The bubble of guilt that had been mushrooming in my chest swelled again. For a girl who’d been through so much, this latest twist—tearing her from the bonds she’d formed—was simply unfair. “I know it’s hard, sweetheart.”
“It’s shit.” Her voice was tiny in the darkness. “I know you don’t like my vocabulary, Mum, but what other word is there for this?”
“None.” Sighing, I leaned back against the headrest. “The next few days are going to be hard.”
“Who’s after you, Mum?”
I straightened, startled at her direct question. Laurel was not the same little girl I’d tried and often failed to protect from Sam. She was a smart and shrewd young woman who’d seen and heard more than anyone her age should have. I couldn’t successfully pull the wool over her eyes anymore, and more to the point, I didn’t want to.
“And please don’t tell me it’s a long story.” She reached for me in the near black of the back seat.
“Well, it is.” I almost laughed at the ridiculousness of what we faced. “But okay. I’ll tell you, Laurel, but you’ll only have more questions than answers when I do.”
“Try me.” Her fingers squeezed mine. “I’m not a baby anymore.”
“I noticed.” I sniffed back the emotion that threatened to rise. My little girl was nearly all grown up, but it wasn’t every day she’d discover everything I had to tell her. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Just answer the question, please.” She remained polite, but I could tell how much effort it was taking for her not to snap at me. “Who’s after us?”
“Have you heard of Ryan Wilson?”
My insides twisted as I said his name out loud. I hadn’t had much time to process the things he’d done to me since Nathanial had confirmed them, but somehow, speaking about them seemed to give power to his and Sam’s vile acts.
“You mean the idiot who calls himself prime minister?”
Despite her penchant for cosmetics and the latest celebrity crush, Laurel immediately knew who Wilson was.
“That’s him.” The apprehension furled in my tummy until it was painful, and the long, drawn-out silence that followed did nothing to quell my rising unease.
“What, so you mean, he’s the one who’s after us?” Laurel’s voice dripped with cynicism.
“Yes.” My answer was a pained exhale of breath. “He hurt me, Laurel. Before you were born, and now he badly wants to keep me silent.”