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On the Road
Emelia
“Are you sure you don’t mind driving?”
Glancing across at Nathanial, a pang of guilt echoed in my chest. He’d been behind the wheel for hours since we’d taken the car. Sure, we’d tried to grab a few hours of sleep at a cheap hotel by the station after we’d arrived late in Aberdeen the night before. That had been essential after the trials of the day, especially for Nathanial, but we’d headed out as soon as we’d found breakfast the next day. We kept to the tiny back roads in order to avoid scrutiny, but with the sky darkening around us and Laurel fast asleep in the back, I was concerned he was taking on too much. He needed to rest, but there was no respite on the run.
“I’m fine.” His gaze flitted to me before sliding back to the road. “Stop worrying.”
“But you’ve been driving for hours.” I couldn’t hide my nagging tone. ”I don’t mind taking over, or we can just pull over and sleep for a while.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, do you?” He slid the car into fourth gear. “The real owner of this car will have reported it stolen by now, and sooner or later, we’ll need to ditch it.” He peered around the dimming interior. “Better that we’re as far north as possible before that happens.”
“Okay.” I glanced out of the window. Maybe he was right.
“This car is comfortable and has a full tank of petrol.” He stretched back in the driver’s seat. “Let’s benefit while we can. We don’t know what we’ll find next.”
When I said we’d ‘taken’ the vehicle, I really meant it. Unable to hire a car because we didn’t have a valid driving license between us, there had been little other choice but to steal. We needed to push on, to get as far away from London and the looming threat of Wilson as we could. Better that we took our chances working outside of the law, even if that meant we were criminals.
I grimaced at my conclusion, still unsettled by the label and the fact I’d infected my daughter with it by association. I had been many things in my life, from a long-standing victim to an apparent ‘murderer’, but ‘car thief’ wasn’t a label I’d envisioned assuming.
“Still thinking about how we took the car?” Nathanial smirked at my seeming reluctance to accept our criminality.
“Yeah.” I inhaled. “I’m thinking about the consequences. You wouldn’t think a killer would have a conscience, would you?”
He laughed at my sarcasm. “You’d be surprised. I’ve met all sorts of killers over the years.”
“I bet.” I’d never really heard him talk about his profession before. That was the curse of being undercover. “Despite everything, stealing still bothers me.”
“But this isn’t the first car we’ve stolen, is it?” His tone was knowing. “We’re connoisseurs of car theft.”
“True.” I’d managed to push the memories of the vehicle that had got us to the motel out of my mind, but he was absolutely right. This wasn’t our first time. What the hell had happened to me that events like this were now considered normal? “Christ, I don’t even recognize myself anymore.”
“Is that a bad thing?” A trace of paranoia rang in his voice as he peered nervously in my direction. “I mean, I know the time we’ve had together hasn’t exactly been fun, but it has to be better than living with Sam, doesn’t it?”
“God, so much better.” Reaching for his arm, I smiled. “There’s no comparison. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to infer that meeting you has been bad, only that practically everything else that has happened since the fog has been one triggering experience after the next, and knowing the entire weather event was orchestrated for my benefit makes it worse somehow.”
“It has been mad.” His tone was quiet. “I wish I could have got to you before the fog. Wish I could have swept you and Laurel away before all of the trauma, but I was still undercover then, still taking orders. I hadn’t met you properly... I only knew about the woman in my case file. I didn’t know who you really were.”
“What will happen with your job?” Suddenly, I was afraid to ask, because I knew the truth. He’d fucked up his chances of career progression—another sacrifice Nathanial had made in the name of our welfare.
He shrugged. “The calls stopped coming after I ignored my bosses for a day or two, and I’ve since lost my phone, stolen another and binned that one too.”
“Shit.” I cringed at everything he’d had to give up just to be driving away in a stolen car with me. I had a pressing motivation to keep moving—she was currently sleeping in the back of the vehicle—but Nathanial was doing this all for me—for the illusion of a woman he hardly even knew. It still seemed unbelievable. “I’m sorry this has messed up your career.”
“Yeah.” He sounded wistful. “I’d got rather disillusioned since getting the job, to be honest. It’s hard to act with integrity when the people at the top are so full of shit.”
“You mean Wilson?”
“Yeah.” The word was a sigh on his tempting lips. “Among others.”
“Why don’t you finish telling me about him?” I prompted, not really wanting to think about the man who’d forced himself on me again yet eager to hear what Nathanial had to say. “You were going to tell me something on the train from Edinburgh, but when Laurel came back from the toilet, you changed tack.”
I hadn’t pursued the change of pace at the time, sensing it was something he’d rather she didn’t know, but it had piqued my interest and I was ready to discover his secret.
“Sure.” His hand tightened on the wheel. “I don’t like talking about the prick, but I’d rather you heard this from me.”
“Okay.” My heart rate elevated at his cageyness. “Go on.”
“Wilson’s my brother.” Nathanial’s jaw clenched as he forced out the words. “Well, half-brother, actually. Not that it matters.”
“Wilson is your brother?” My lips parted at the admission. I would never have guessed a family connection in a thousand years. I’d rarely met two men who were more different in character. Wilson was moral debauchery on legs, while Nathanial had been nothing but honorable. Hell, the two didn’t even look like one another. “How can that slimy, conniving bastard be related to you? You’re so different to him.”
“Turns out, I’m the bastard.” His tone was sardonic as he turned to me. “I’m the illegitimate and unwanted son of his father.”
“Fuck.” I didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He blew out a breath. “I guess that’s why I jumped at diving into your case. It was controversial stuff, you know, pursuing evidence against the current prime minister—my revolting big brother—but I was dogged in my approach, determined and unafraid of the consequences. My bosses were terrified about what I found.”
“You never told them the two of you are related?” I could understand his reticence. Who would want to own up to being Wilson’s kin?
“No chance.” He glanced out at the tracks the headlights were plowing into the growing darkness. Like beacons of light, they led the way—our only hope for a life beyond our combined torrid histories. “I never told anyone else. I didn’t want to. I mean, would you want to admit the scumbag running the country is really your brother?”
“No.” I twisted to check if Laurel was still sleeping, happy to see her stretched out across the back seat. She’d managed to maneuver so her safety belt was still fastened but she could still relax. “I can’t imagine.”
I wasn’t lying either. I’d not been blessed with any brothers or sisters growing up, so I really couldn’t imagine.
“Yeah, well...” His voice trailed into silence, and for long moments, we both only stared ahead at the unknown road before us. “Now you know. Whether this thing between us grows or not, Em, I don’t want any secrets.”
“I appreciate that.” My hand lowered to his thigh. “Nothing bad that’s happened has been because of you. You’re my hero, Nathanial. I hope you know that.”
“I like that idea.” His lips tugged into a smirk.
“Being my hero?” I snorted.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Being anyone’s hero, really, but you deserve one, Em.”
“I wouldn’t have made it to this day without you.” I had absolute clarity on that point. I was strong and I’d dragged Laurel and me out of hell, but I’d have faltered more than once since the fog without Nathanial’s help. “So, I mean it. Thank you.”
“You’ve got it.” His tone was more relaxed as he took the turn to Dunbeath.
Our previously mooted plan of going to the Shetland Isles seemed to be our goal, and although we hadn’t consciously decided so, getting out of mainland Britain was a reassuring thought.
“I have one question, though.” My fingers slid along his leg toward his groin, the caress igniting memories of the night we’d shared.
“Oh, yeah?” The hand nearest to me fell to hold my digits as I stroked his denim-clad inner thigh. “What’s that?”
“How did you find my number after you escaped Wilson’s men?” I was keen to tie up the one remaining loose end dangling in my mind. “I mean, I know a man with your super skillset has his ways, but it was a brand-new phone. No one knew the number.”
Technically, Sally and Laurel had known the details, but I knew neither of them had been in touch with Nathanial. His expertise was still a mystery.
“There’s no superpower, I’m afraid.” He glanced in my direction. “Just good old-fashioned police work. There was only one person I ever genuinely trusted in my team, so I asked her to find your number for me. I knew you’d have a new phone after leaving your stuff in the motel, but I struck lucky—you used your card to buy the phone, and my friend was able to track the transaction.”
“Wow.” I hadn’t thought of that. The purchase had left a trace his cop friend had been able to follow. “So, if I’d used cash, you wouldn’t have been able to find me?”
“It wouldn’t have been impossible,” he admitted. “But it would have been much harder and I didn’t have much time. Let’s just put it this way, I’m happy you didn’t use cash.”
“Me too.” I allowed myself a smile. “I’d have come here alone with Laurel, but I’m happy you could join us.”
“You wouldn’t have been on the run without me,” he reminded me. “Things would have been easier.”
“Maybe.” There was no point in dwelling on the alternative reality. I’d used my card and he’d traced me, and there wasn’t a part of me that lamented either deed. Amidst all of the gloom and terror of my life, Nathanial was a shining light. He and Laurel were like the two beams breaking through the darkness on the front of our stolen car. “But we are where we are. I have no regrets.”
“Good.” He squeezed my hand before his palm rose back to the wheel. “Do you remember the last time I was driving in the dark with you?”
“In the ambulance?” My mind flitted back to that night.
I’d been so uneasy then, stuck on the platform all day and worried about Laurel. Taking that vehicle was probably the first genuinely reckless moment of my life—unless I counted ending Sam’s part in it.
“Right.” He scanned the rear-view mirror. “That night feels like a million years ago, but really, it was only a few days.”
“Crazy, huh?” My fingertips stroked north, teasing him. “Time has been playing games, but so much has happened, I suppose I’m not surprised.”
He sniggered. “We might not have known each other long, but we’ve sure been through a lot in the time we’ve had.”
“More than enough.” I couldn’t argue. “If we get through this, I hope a far duller future awaits us.”
His laughter deepened. “I hope so as well. We deserve dull.”
“We deserve long, boring, and utterly unremarkable lives.” Grinning, I joined his mirth. It was good that even in the face of despair, we could still laugh. In the end, our collective sense of humor was essential.
“I think I will have to find somewhere to stop.” Repressing a yawn, he peered out into the night. “I could use some shut-eye before tomorrow.”
“Good idea.” Anxiety twisted in my tummy at his perfectly reasonable assessment of the situation. I’d been the one who’d suggested he rest, after all. His proposal should not have been disconcerting, but hearing him address what was in store for us was perturbing at best.
Whether we lived out free lives or suffered some darker fate would soon be decided. Worse still, I appeared to have no control over the outcome.