The walk through the dark streets of Salina, Kansas, had rejuvenated Cal after the long drive from Red Rye. He’d specifically asked for a late and contact-free check-in. They were almost safe for the night, and for that, he was grateful. Once he got them into their room, he’d let Marlise rest while he reached out to Roman at Secure One. He wanted an update on chatter about the trial or The Miss, so he could make a plan to return home. He’d rather not be in the wind with the hottest witness in the country, but he may not have a choice if Secure One was no longer secure.
His disobedient eyes glanced at the woman next to him. She was beautiful as a brunette, but he still preferred her blonde. It was as though she lost her innocence without the blond hair. He was so incredibly proud of her though. They’d been running nonstop for days, but she kept up with him and never complained. He’d been terrified for her when she walked into the post office this morning. Not just about The Miss either. He was worried that being back in Red Rye would trigger memories she couldn’t fight through to finish the job. He should have known better. Marlise was tougher than both Roman and him combined.
Cal had been overwhelmed with a feeling that he’d kept tamped down for years, and he’d been breathless for a moment until he pushed it back. He would not fall for another woman, and he certainly wouldn’t fall for a woman who was just as headstrong, stubborn and brave as Hannah had been. He forced them both from his mind to concentrate on their next steps. Hotel. Shower. Clean clothes. Food. Recordings. He was anxious to hear and see the woman at the heart of all this chaos.
“Are we almost there?” Marlise muttered next to him.
“Almost,” he promised with a smile and tossed his chin at the lights ahead. “A shower and comfy bed are just up ahead. You deserve it.” Rather than drive to the hotel, he’d left the rental an hour’s walk away at a depot and they’d come in on foot. It was safer that way. If they had to run, they weren’t tied to the city grid the way they had been in Minneapolis. On foot, they could go where cars couldn’t, and Cal knew if they had to escape, that would be the only way.
“Do you think we’re in the clear?” she nervously asked, her gaze flicking around the darkened street as they crossed to their hotel for the night.
“No. I think we’re in a lull. The Miss hasn’t found us yet, but she will, and when she does, she will hit us with everything she has. Before that happens, we need to access those recordings, find her and hit her when she’s not expecting it.”
Marlise was quiet the rest of the way to the hotel room. Because of his late check-in request, the hotel had texted him the room number and code for the side and room door. He wanted to bypass contact with the desk clerk. That mattered to Cal for both their safety and the safety of the innocent people they might come in contact with over the next several days. He punched in the code and pulled the door open with a quick glance around the area, but they were alone. He’d insisted on the room closest to an exit as an escape route as well as to avoid being seen by anyone. Marlise’s brunette wig was long, and it hung down over her face to hide her burns. It was harder for him to be unmemorable. His size alone stood out, but there wasn’t much he could do about it other than get inside the room as quickly as possible.
“Almost there.” Cal pressed in the code for the room, and the light turned green.
He held the door for Marlise, and she slipped through, the heat of her skin brushing against his to remind him of a woman’s touch. To remind him of the sensation of holding a woman he cared about in an intimate way. It had been too long since he’d experienced the touch of a woman, but Marlise would not be his next.
You don’t mix business with pleasure, Cal.
That little voice gave a hearty guffaw as he secured the door. He ignored it. It could laugh all it wanted, but it would not get the last laugh.
Marlise had stopped in the middle of the room to stare at the king-size bed. “There’s only one bed.”
Cal was as surprised as she was, but he couldn’t let it show. “I asked for a room closest to an exit. I didn’t think to ask how many beds.” He took her backpack from her shoulder and the hat and wig from her head and set them aside. After he’d straightened her hair, he motioned at the bed. “It’s no big deal. One of us can sleep while the other listens to the recordings. Okay?”
“Sure, yeah,” she agreed while she nodded. “It’s no big deal.”
As she gathered her things to shower, he had no doubt in his mind it was a big deal to her. It was a big deal to him too, but he’d never let on, not after their discussion about Hannah earlier. It was a firm reminder that he had better stay in his lane when it came to Marlise, and his lane was not the carpool lane.
WHEN MARLISE FINISHED in the shower, Cal had a pizza and a cold Coke waiting. After they’d eaten, she had to face the phones. She was terrified of them charging and equally terrified of them not charging. If they didn’t charge, they were back to square one in the investigation. If they did charge, she’d have to face the woman who’d tried to kill her. She wasn’t sure where she’d find the strength to do it.
She glanced at Cal, who was setting up the equipment they would need to listen to the recordings and consult with Secure One. He was her strength. He always stood by her, whether in silent solidarity or to hold her up. He helped her face the trauma from her past life, and she walked away stronger each time.
She yearned to do it by herself though. To rely on herself when the going got tough. Her mind traveled back to Secure One, where Mina sat at a computer while wearing a piece of carbon fiber and steel on what was left of her leg. The Miss had done that to her, and Mina still needed Roman’s help when the going got tough. Maybe it was okay that she depended on Cal for moral support?
Don’t get used to it, that voice reminded her.
There would be a day when Cal was gone, and she’d have to stand up for herself. She knew it was coming, but for now, for tonight, she’d let him help her through this new wrinkle from her past. After their discussion at the car this morning, she understood him better. He was just as scared as she was. Scared of losing someone again. He kept everyone at arm’s length because if he didn’t get close to anyone, they wouldn’t end up like Hannah. Marlise doubted that he was to blame for her death. A link broke on the chain long before Cal took over the mission, but he was the kind of guy who wouldn’t see it. The mission failed, and the woman he loved was dead. That was his fault. It broke her heart to think he lived with that every day.
Wars were ugly. They left carnage and death behind. There was no way to predict what the enemy would do. You just had to be prepared to react when they attacked. Unfortunately for Hannah, she was a casualty of a war she didn’t start. The man Marlise had killed was a casualty of a war he chose to start. Someone was always going to lose. Mary had lost a lot in life and so had Marlise, but as Marlise, she saw hope for her future.
“I don’t want to go by Mary,” she blurted out before slapping her hand over her mouth.
Cal set the tablet he’d been messing with down and walked over to her on the bed. He knelt in front of her. “You’ve been thinking about it?”
She nodded and swallowed to quell her dry throat. “Mary was someone who suffered a lot in the war on the streets. She did a lot of things Marlise isn’t proud of, and that’s saying a lot considering who Marlise is.”
“And you’re speaking about yourself in the third person now.” He gave her a wink to tell her he was teasing, but it lifted her lips into a smile. “You do what’s right for you. Whether you go by Mary, Marlise or a new name entirely, your past experiences and the people you knew will always be part of you. A name change won’t wipe your memories away, even if it wipes away their past from society. Does that make sense?”
“You’re right,” she admitted, staring down at her hands. “Every experience I’ve had as far back as I can remember has made me the person I am today. All I know is, I went from Mary to Marlise and, despite being trapped in the sex trade, took a step up in life. Once I figured out how to play The Miss to gain immunity, the stability of Red Rye helped me find even ground for the first time ever. I had plans to put The Miss away, and I worked toward that goal every day. In hindsight, I realize my mistake. I didn’t predict how brutal and evil she truly was.”
“You couldn’t have predicted the fire,” he said, taking her hand. “That was set by an agent of the FBI.”
“I know, but do you understand what I’m trying to say, Cal?” Her tone was imploring, and he took her other hand with a nod. His thumb rubbed across the scarred tissue of her hand, and she wondered if he even realized that he did it.
“I do understand, and I know whether you go by Mary, Marlise or any other name, you’re courageous enough to do anything. You’ll put The Miss away for good, so she stops hurting others. If you’re ready, we can start to unravel her web of lies so you can have your freedom back.”
“What about you?” Marlise asked, her gaze pinned on his handsome face. He was sporting a heavy five o’clock shadow that he was using to his advantage as a disguise.
“What about me?”
“When will you get your freedom back?”
“Never.” The word was a rasped whisper, and Marlise shook her head.
“You can’t lecture me about being brave enough to take my freedom back if you’re unwilling to do the same thing.”
He didn’t speak or even move. He just knelt there with his gaze so intent it made her insides tremble. This morning when he’d stared at her with the same look in his eyes, she swore he was going to kiss her. There was an internal battle going on behind those eyes. If she had to guess, his steely resolve would win, and he’d put distance between them again. It was his way of beating back the enemy. She wasn’t the enemy, even if he saw her as one. The enemy was the voice that told him he didn’t deserve to be with anyone again. It told him no one could heal his heart, so it was better not to try. She doubted he ever would. He was too busy taking care of everyone else to worry about his own—
Marlise’s thoughts went off the rails when Cal reared up and planted his lips on hers. He grasped the back of her head and kissed her with the hunger and ferocity of a man who had been alone for too long. In her, Cal had found a connection that was undeniably frayed but still holding up to the demand asked of it. Now, he was trying to shore up the connection. Reweave the frayed fibers into a connection he could trust when the time came.
She tipped her head to get closer, to dig deeper. Marlise had dreamed of kissing this man since the first summer she’d lived at Secure One, but he’d hung a do-not-disturb sign long ago. The sign was gone tonight, and his lips were soft as he teased hers. There was the promise of more as his tongue traced the slit of her lips in an unspoken request for entrance. He wanted to be the first to claim the part of her that no man had yet entered. Marlise had been with many men, but she never let them kiss her. That was the only thing she could control back then. She’d wanted to save something for the man who might someday love her despite what all the other men had done to her. Was Cal that man? She doubted it, but her lips parted anyway, giving him the first right to taste her.
When his tongue slipped inside, his heat came with it, and she worried she’d burn up under his lips and hands. It wasn’t a bad way to go. His right thumb ran across the scarred flesh of her face as though he were healing it with each caress. Maybe he was. It was easy for Marlise to think he could. When she’d seen the damage to her face and arm for the first time, she’d mourned the last hope that one day someone would love her.
“Cal,” she whispered when he broke the kiss for air.
“I’m sorry,” he rasped, running his hand down his face. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
He tried to turn away, but she grasped his chin and held tight. “Don’t run away from me, Cal. I’m not the enemy.”
“You’re right. I’m my own worst enemy. I’m the reason The Miss found you, and I don’t have the right to kiss you!”
“Cal,” she said, grasping his shirt so he couldn’t turn away. “What are you talking about?”
“My plane led her right to Secure One.” Cal stuck a finger in his chest. “If she hadn’t tagged my plane, you’d still be safe!”
Marlise shook her head while she tried to understand what he was saying. “No,” she said without breaking eye contact. “You and your plane saved my life, Cal. I’d be dead if you hadn’t come for me when you did. You had no choice but to use the plane.”
“I could have gotten you out in an ambulance,” he insisted, his gaze focused somewhere over her shoulder.
“Oh, you mean like the one Mack was driving when The Madame attacked? We could never outrun them in an ambulance.” His grimace told her he knew it too. “The plane was the only option you had, even if it wasn’t a good one.”
“I made my business and home vulnerable to these people, and now we’re paying the price. I will not lose you the way I lost Hannah.”
“So what if she knows where you live? She doesn’t have the manpower to attack it, or she wouldn’t have tried to pinch me at the trial. Stop looking for any excuse to put distance between us, Cal. You played the hand you were dealt.”
“And that hand put us right back in danger.”
“Why are you so hung up on the idea that The Miss tagged your plane? It doesn’t matter other than knowing we can’t use it right now. We knew if The Miss came back into the mix, this would always be the result—us stopping her.”
“I’ve let everyone down since you and Mina entered our lives two years ago. I didn’t have enough time to plan efficiently, which led to too many missteps.”
“In the end, you saved the day, Cal. We will again this time too.”
He gently took her face in his hands and offered a tender caress of his thumb across her temple. “Maybe that’s true, but I liked that kiss way too much for it to be good for either of us.”
“I liked it too, Cal. It was my first kiss, and I’m glad I waited for you.”
His head tipped slowly in confusion, and he blinked once. “You’ve never been kissed before?”
She pinned her gaze to the carpet and shook her head. “No, I never allowed it. I wanted to save something for a man who might someday love me despite everything else I’ve been through.”
“Marlise,” he whispered, pulling her head down to his until their foreheads touched. “Not despite everything but because of everything you’ve been through.”
“What did you see in me that day on the plane, Cal? I was a shell of a woman who was battered, broken and burned. You risked your life and the lives of your team for someone with little hope for a future.”
“I didn’t see the shell of a woman who was battered, broken and burned. I saw the woman you would become with a little care, love and respect from people who wanted nothing from you. People who wanted to help you heal from your physical scars and help you live with the emotional ones. That day on the plane, when we locked eyes, I saw the woman who ran through the woods for hours without complaint, all while bleeding. I saw the woman who would help put away a woman hell-bent on mistreating women like herself. I saw the woman sitting before me right now.”
“You’re just saying that to be nice,” she whispered, wishing she could take his lips again and make him forget about everything around them.
“I don’t say things just to be nice, Marlise. You know that. If I didn’t trust my instincts, you wouldn’t be here right now. You’d still be at Secure One if I didn’t believe that you had the courage and guts to walk back into Red Rye and revisit your past.”
“I even surprised myself,” she said with a smile. “But I’m terrified of what will happen when the phones come on, and I have to see the face of the woman who tried to kill me.”
“Use that fear,” he said, moving his jaw forward and kissing her lips once before speaking again. “Put her image front and center in your mind and keep her there. Remember all the things she did to you and is still doing to other women. Use that fear and anger to help me find her and put her away for good.”
“You believe I can, don’t you?”
“I always have. I just need you to believe it too.”
Marlise stared into his eyes, noticing they were the deepest, darkest brown they’d ever been since she’d been part of Cal’s world. Was she the woman he believed her to be?
“You’re right,” she whispered, her breath held tight in her chest. “I’ve already done so many things I thought were impossible two years ago. If I could do those things, I can do this. I can help you find her and save the other girls.”
“That’s my girl,” he whispered, his lips dangerously close to hers. “Are you ready to do that now? The phones should be ready to start up.”
“I’m ready,” she promised, taking his warm face in her tiny hands. She wasn’t ready. She didn’t want to break the connection they’d found here tonight, but she knew what her reality was, and it wasn’t having Cal Newfellow once this case was closed.
“Before we do, I have to ask you something.”
“Anything,” she promised.
“Would it be okay if I kissed you again? When my lips are on yours, I forget all the responsibilities I face and the heartbreak I’ve suffered.”
“No,” she whispered and noticed the light dim in his eyes. “This time, I would like to kiss you because you do the same for me.”
There were no more words then, just the sensation of floating in a different plane of existence while Cal teased her lips and showed her, rather than told her, how beautiful she was to him. When the kiss ended, they were both breathing heavily, and they took a moment to catch their breath.
“I know we have a lot to unpack with those kisses,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ears. “But they gave me the strength and the courage to face The Miss again, and I don’t want that feeling to disappear yet.”
He let his hand slip across her face on his way to the desk. “Whatever makes this the easiest for you,” he said, unplugging a phone and holding down the power button. She heard the whoosh when it came on, and she sat up straighter, strapping on her armor to prepare for battle. “I’ll show you this, and then we’ll call Roman and Mina and track this woman down. Are you with me?”
She took the phone from his hand and opened the gallery, taking a deep breath before letting her gaze flick to his. “This one’s for Emelia and Bethany,” she said right before hitting the hidden folder and accessing it with the password. A face filled the screen that usually only filled her nightmares. Not anymore. The Miss was real again. “You’re going down,” she whispered, right before she turned the phone for Cal to see.