acknowledgments

In a certain way, of course, this entire book is just one big acknowledgment—an acknowledgment of people who have mattered deeply to me. And yet, there are so many more! And in particular, there are so many who have been kind, helpful, skillful, and indispensable in the four-year-long project that has been the writing of this book.

Let me name, here, some of the most important of these.

First, I must thank my twin sister, Sandy—who has always been my most incisive, generous, wise, and unfailingly honest reader. My debt of gratitude to her is so great that I cannot begin to detail all of it here. So often did we confer, that by the end of the writing, I felt that she had almost been a co-author of this book.

Of course I must thank my best friends, Brian Degener and Susie Griffiths, for their willingness—and, unaccountably, even eagerness, at times—to hear the endless stories of my wrestling match with this material.

My editor and longtime friend, Patty Gift, and my wonderful agent, Ned Leavitt, have acted so beautifully for me as that “evoking, affirming, sustaining web” about which Dr. Kohut so often speaks, and my debt to these two is incalculable. And the editorial and marketing teams at Hay House have been wonderfully supportive and generous in their efforts on behalf of the book.

My great new friend, Nan Satter, made a tremendous contribution to the shape of the book as it came together.

And I also wish to make a deep bow of gratitude to the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, which generously gave me time and support of all kinds throughout this project. In this regard, I especially wish to acknowledge my new and important friend, Elizabeth Burnett, as well as David Lipsius, Deborah Orth, Aruni Futoronsky, and Barbara Vacarr.

Thanks are due, as well, to my devoted dharma group: to Tom, Peter, Brian, Annie, Diane, Dave, Susan, and Heidi, who held me up during the entire process, and especially to Diane Cameron—a well-known writer and columnist—for reading and commenting helpfully all along the way.

I hasten, too, to thank my dear “second family,” The Compton Family, for their interest and expertise in reading and commenting upon the chapters on Helen Harrington Compton. Hearty thanks go, in particular, to Sherret Edwards Chase, Helen Chase, Cici Chase Peters, Nancy Compton, and Holly Compton Noelke—all grandchildren of Helen Harrington Compton herself. And, of course, to all the rest of my dear “brothers and sisters” in the Compton clan, including, especially, Compton Chase-Lansdale and Lindsay Chase-Lansdale, and to Alice Chase Robeson and Bob Robeson.

Thanks, of course, to my beloved siblings, Arlie, Barb, Randy, and the aforementioned Sandy, for the decades-long joint struggle to understand our family’s complex autobiographical narrative.

A major tip of the hat to Dr. Alan Poole, longtime friend and adventure-buddy, for reading and commenting, and especially for suggesting Darwin and Fitzroy as the perfect story for the Adversity section.

To David Griffiths, my former partner of so many years and current friend, for reading and commenting upon the final section of the book.

Many thanks, as well, to Marnie Cochran, my editor extraordinaire from Bantam Books, for helping me to flesh out my ideas for this book in the early stages.

I owe a debt of gratitude to Dr. Dan Siegel, for the many ideas mined from his brilliant work over the past decade, and also for reviewing the galleys of this book before its publication.

I owe a debt of gratitude, as well, to Dr. Anna Stothart, for ideas culled from her extremely incisive dissertation, “Yoga, Winnicott, and the Capacity to Be,” and to Dr. Paul Stoltz for reviewing the sections on Adversity.

And finally, to my friends Barbara Bonner, Bessel VanderKolk, and Peter Lostritto, for moral and intellectual support of all kinds.