Noel sprung from her bed, a cold sweat coating her body. She clutched her hand to her chest, her breathing ragged. Swallowing hard, she blinked away the imagines of her nightmare. The memory of her dream was frighteningly vivid.
“Remind me to never eat nachos before bed again,” she muttered aloud, flipping the sheets off of her and heading to the shower.
After cleaning up and dressing, she made her way into the kitchen to grab something to eat. She was starving. The hockey game had been exhilarating, but she’d gotten tired and gone home immediately following. Grayson stayed to finish up some player interviews.
Luke had played well. He’d waved to her from the ice, which was a relief. At least he didn’t hate her. But as she suspected, he wasn’t eager to see her again either. That was evident since he hadn’t made any effort to contact her since she’d left him that ridiculous note.
“Well, I guess I can chalk that up to another mistake in my life,” she murmured.
Her phone rang and it was Claire, she picked it up on the second ring. “Are you calling to find out if I’m alone?” Noel asked, smiling, knowing that her friend was desperate to play match maker.
“Since you answered so quickly, I’m assuming you are,” Claire said, sounding disappointed. “What happened? Why aren’t you having morning sex with one of the hottest guys in hockey?”
Noel giggled. “Don’t you have Luke on speed dial? Ask him. I was there and he waved at me, but that was it.”
Claire was silent for a long pause. “Really? But I thought you kissed him?”
Noel snickered. “I’m sure I would’ve remembered something like that.” Especially since I can’t stop thinking about the way his warm mouth felt so perfect against mine.
She shivered as a sudden wave of tingles shot through her. Her lips throbbed with the memory of his kiss, but something wasn’t right about it. The vision unfolding had been from her dream. It wasn’t real.
“But Grayson told me—“
Her phone beeped. It was work. “Hold that thought. My office is calling. They never call on my day off,” she told her, clicking over to the other line. “This is Noel.”
“Hi, Noel. It’s Nurse Amy from the cancer unit.”
Her heart flipped in her chest and her breath froze in her lungs. “Yes,” she said, apprehensively.
“I thought you should know that Allison Daniels passed away last night.”
Oh no! Her jaw quivered and her voice shook as she replied, “Thank you for letting me know.”
She hung up, staring at her phone unable to click over to reconnect with Claire. She couldn’t get the words to move from her lips. As sad as Allison’s death was, she had the strangest feeling that she wasn’t really gone. She bit the inside of her mouth, fighting to understand the strange emotions that consumed her.
Allison’s smiling face flashed in her mind. She was playing in a large opened field with dozens of other children. Luke’s voice thundered in her mind, “The cancer claimed Allison tonight and while her human body is no longer, her spirit remains with us.”
When had he said that to her and what did it mean?
Shaking her head, she couldn’t focus. Her mind was jumbled with visions of reality and dreams. She couldn’t make senses of anything.
Her phone rang and she jumped. “Claire, I’m sorry. I just received the worst news. A child I was close to at the hospital passed away last night.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Noel.”
“The strangest part is that I keep having these memories that I’ve discussed it with Luke.” She frowned. “I think I’m going insane.”
“Would you like to come over?”
She swallowed. She didn’t think she would be good company. There were too many things racing through her mind. “No. I think I’m going to go back to bed, but I’ll see you on Christmas Eve. Are you and Grayson still having dinner at your place?”
“Yes,” Claire said. “Don’t worry about bringing anything. Grayson said he’s got everything covered.”
“Great,” Noel replied. “See you then.”
She dropped the phone on the floor and sank down, wrapping her arms around her knees. Shaking, she couldn’t get the sweet image of Allison’s smile to vanish from her mind. At the Christmas party, she’d been so happy when Santa had spoken with her. Too soon after, her life had been over.
Tears trailed down her cheeks as she said a prayer for Allison and her family. The hardest part about working for a children’s hospital was watching the terminal children lose their battles. Nothing hurt more than the deafening silence that followed. Never again would she hear her laughter, see her smile, or stare into her beautiful eyes. Allison was gone. Forever.
The next few days blew by in a dizzying haze. People in the office were buzzing with their holiday plans. The excitement should’ve been contagious, but it wasn’t. Even though Noel had managed to forgive herself for all that happened with Claire, she still felt hollow inside—like a piece of her heart was missing.
Allison’s funeral had come and gone and Christmas was approaching whether she wanted it to or not. Those who didn’t know Allison had no trouble looking forward to the holiday festivities. Noel couldn’t shake the sadness that loomed in her heart over a little girl she would never see again.
Heavy knuckles thudded on her door. She gazed up to see a smiling face staring back at her. “I thought you might want a cup of coffee,” Katie said, entering her office and depositing the iced coffee on her desk.
She smiled. She couldn’t help it. “Thank you.”
Katie gestured to the vacant chair in Noel’s office. “Do you mind if I sit with you for a moment?”
She shook her head, loving the idea of chatting with Katie for a while. She had gotten so close to her over the years and had shared more about life with her than most people. “Please do. But to be honest, I’m not very chatty these days.”
“I heard about the sweet girl who passed away. She was well liked by many of the hospital staff.”
She smiled, knowing that that was true. “I sometimes hate my job, but then I remember all the good we do and I love it all the more.”
Katie smiled softly. “Do you have any plans for Christmas?”
She hiked one shoulder. “I guess I’m just going to have dinner with friends and hang out with my folks. Nothing too crazy.”
Katie narrowed her brow. “What about that nice, young man I saw you with last week. Do you not have plans to see him again?”
She sighed. A day hadn’t gone by where her fingers hadn’t itched to dial his number—a number she didn’t even have, but could easily get from Claire. “I don’t think he wants to see me anymore. I didn’t really make an everlasting impression on him.”
She giggled. “Oh, I think you made more of an impression than you think.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know Luke very well,” she told her. “He’s my nephew and he spent a great deal of time telling me all about you.”
“Oh,” she said, heat filling her cheeks. “He did?”
With a sly grin, she nodded.
“I’m not sure what to do with that information. If he truly wanted to find me he could, but he hasn’t.”
“I think he’s afraid you don’t want him,” she said matter-of-factly.
She began to rebuttal, but stopped. She couldn’t ignore the fact that she hadn’t done much to show him she was anything more than a miserable, emotionally detached one night stand.
“Luke is a special person, Noel. His heart is pure. You’ll never find another quite like him.” She rose from the chair. “If you ever need anything, come see me. We’ll chat over a nice cup of coffee.” She winked and the moment she did, she knew Katie was related to Luke. Her eyes sparkled in the same magical way his did.
* * * *
Luke leaned against his motorcycle, glancing from his watch to the elevator doors and hoped that he wasn’t too late. He had to see Noel again. Even though he told himself that she didn’t want him, the real him, he couldn’t seem to stay away. He had to try one more time to get her to see past the fear and shock of who and what he was.
Looking back at his poorly executed plan, he realized that seeing Allison in his world must have been troubling, learning that she was dead, but somehow was still alive. It was clear now that he pushed Noel too hard, too soon. Any sane person would have responded the exact same way.
Each night since, Luke went to bed frustrated and annoyed, staring at the ceiling, and wondering if he imagined the wild connection he felt for Noel. He had no way of knowing if she even shared the same sentiments about him.
The moment he had stepped into her office and volunteered to be her date had changed everything. He prayed that somehow she would see right through the magic that he had used to strip away the terrorizing memories of his world and she would reveal just how much she cared for him, desired him.
Noel had become more to him than he ever imagined possible. She was all-consuming and left him hollow. He thought of her with each breath he took.
He knew work for her would be stressful this week with Allison’s passing and funeral services. Luke and his teammates had sent Allison’s family their condolences and attended the funeral. He caught a glimpse of Noel as she hugged Allison’s family. He kept a respectful distance.
Flowers were provided in an array of colors and hundreds of people attended. His heart swelled at the impact Allison had on the world around her. She was special, by all regards. Sadly, none of her family would ever know that her spirit lived on or that she was chosen to serve a higher purpose and help children just like her who battled against their own demons.
He cleared his throat. Emotions welling as he remembered the day he’d received the doll that now sat tucked away in his leather jacket, pressed against his heart. Before Allison died, she’d given her favorite doll to her mother to pass on to Ms. Green, but had requested that Santa deliver it to her. Allison had shared that Ms. Green needed it and that the doll would fill her heart with the love that Allison had been lucky enough to feel from all those who supported her. His teammates knew that he had dressed as Santa at the Christmas party and the doll had made its way into his hands.
As he sat in the chilly parking garage, he wondered if Noel would open up her heart just enough to let him in. He’d seen a piece of her he hoped hadn’t been a dream—a piece that was full of life and a desperate need for love.
Staring into Noel’s eyes as they’d made love, feeling the warmth of her skin against his had shown him just how much he craved a love of his own—a woman to cherish above all others. Noel was the first woman to make him think that forever was possible.
“Luke,” Noel called out, exiting from the elevator and slowly making her way to stand in front of him. “Stalking is frowned upon, you know?” Then she smacked her head with her hand as if she’d just remembered something obvious. “How rude of me…you’re waiting for your aunt.”
He narrowed his eyes, stunned that he had been so trapped inside his thoughts that he hadn’t even heard the elevator doors open. He cleared his throat. “You know my aunt?”
“Yes. She brought me a coffee today. She’s…sweet.”
The way Noel spoke about her had his brow arching high on his forehead. “Yes, she’s a great lady. But actually, I’m here to see you.”
“Oh?” Her gaze narrowed. “Why didn’t you come to my office?”
“I didn’t want to bother you while you were working.”
She snickered. “But stalking me in a parking garage is okay?”
He chuckled awkwardly and shrugged. He hadn’t thought about that. “Maybe this was not my best idea ever.” Lately, he was getting good at having bad ideas. He stood, unfolding his arms from across his chest. “I saw you at Allison’s funeral.”
She nodded, moving closer to her car. “I would’ve come to say hi, but I was—“
He waved his hand dismissively. “It’s okay, Noel. You had a lot going on and I was actually giving you space. I didn’t want things to feel weird.”
She turned toward her car, blocking her expression from his view. Damn, he was doing a lousy job at making things less uncomfortable between them. He wasn’t usually so behaviorally clumsy. A charmer is how Brendon had referred to him. If only his teammate could see him now.
He inwardly groaned. “Noel?”
She slowly turned to face him, holding the keys to her car in her hand. “Yes.”
“I’m afraid I’m doing a real awful job trying to speak with you. I’m not usually so bad at it, I assure you.” He sucked in a calming breath, hating that his palms had gotten sweaty and his pulse was like a rapid firing pistol in his neck. He reached into his jacket and pulled out the doll. “This is for you.”
Noel gasped as she stared at the doll he’d placed in her hands. Her eyes watered as she met his gaze. “This was Allison’s.”
His throat felt gritty. “She wanted you to have it.” With a sudden urge to touch her, he brushed back her hair, tucking the lose strands behind her ear. The innocent allure of her blue eyes stole his breath. “She said you needed it. She hoped that you would find love and be loved.”
His heart beat heavy as the poetic words moved from his lips. His mouth tingled with the memory of her kiss and he drank in the way her tongue glided over her lower lip. He was desperate to taste her once again. He cupped her face and wiped away her fallen tears with his thumbs.
She wrapped her arms around him, pulling herself snuggly against him. He kissed the top of her head and held her tight. The soft scent of her hair had his pulse revving. The warmth of her touch sent his blood to a boil. He’d missed her more than he’d realized.
In that moment, his body hummed with energy that he had only felt with Noel. She was pure joy to his soul—a harmonious blend of magic that he’d only dreamed of experiencing.
She belongs to me.
She nuzzled her face against his chest, her arms like a vise around his body. Sniffling, she whispered, “Thank you. I appreciate you bringing this to me.” Turning from his embrace, she opened her car door and tossed her purse onto the passenger side seat. “I hope you have a great Christmas.”
Once again, he didn’t know what to think as she slid into the front seat of her car and closed the door, backed out of the parking spot and drove away. She had left him standing there like a stranger. Never in his life had he ever felt so alone, so empty. His heart stopped beating and most likely never would again now that she was gone.
* * * *
Christmas Eve was here and all Noel could think about was Luke. Every night that she’d gone to bed her dreams had been filled with visions of a magical world. Allison was always there and she was happier than Noel had ever seen her.
For whatever reason, Allison continually called the paradise they played in the North Pole, but everyone knew the North Pole was an icy tundra. She giggled as she remembered trying to explain this little known fact to Allison. Allison would simply say, “Oh, Ms. Green, you’re so silly.”
Luke had been in her dreams, too. He was always in her dreams. Strangely her time with him felt more real than it should have. They talked, laughed, and on a few occasions even made love again. The disappointment she experienced in her heart each morning when she woke was like a shock to her system. Her lips tingled and her body ached from loss, his masculine scent fresh on the sheets beneath her. She sighed, wondering just how powerful her imagination was and if it were possible to get any better.
A swirling of emotions filled her belly as she asked Claire, “Is anyone else coming to dinner?”
“No, it’s just the three of us,” Claire smiled. “Were you hoping a certain sexy hockey player was joining us?”
She grinned, unable to hide her interest. “As a matter of fact I was.”
“Have you tried to call him…or stalk after him?” Claire laughed.
She giggled, but the passion in her normal laughter wasn’t there. She hadn’t been able to get her last meeting with Luke out her mind. She left him standing in the parking garage, her emotions so out of control all she could think to do was run away and put as much distance between them as she could. Trouble was, she had no idea way.
“Do you think he’d respond well to stalking?”
Claire’s brow shot up. “Maybe.”
Noel frowned.
Slowly moving closer and no longer using her wheelchair to get around, Claire asked, “Why the long face?”
Her chest ached as she considered the fact that she would never find the kind of love that Allison hoped she would. Plain and simple, Noel was a mess. Even with Claire’s blessing, she struggled to let go of the past and learn to let someone into her heart.
“You’re going to think I’m nuts,” Noel said, raking her fingers through her hair. “I know I do.”
Claire grinned, sitting down beside her on the sofa. “I love stories about crazy people.”
She hoped that was the case because she was about to unload a dozy on her friend. “I’ve been dreaming about Luke and it’s making me almost afraid to actually see him again.”
Claire’s brow furrowed. “I don’t follow.”
“I’ve been sleeping with my dream man and it’s been so amazing…I don’t think the real me can compete.” Noel’s hands covered her face. “I’m so screwed up.”
Claire giggled. “Are you serious?”
“I don’t know why, but I have these crazy dreams about a magical world. Luke’s there and we spend so much time together. I’ve been going to bed early all week just so I can see him.” Noel covered her face once more. “I’m a total psycho.”
Claire didn’t answer and that had the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. She separated her fingers as they covered her face and looked at her best friend. Her expression was stoic.
She lowered her hands. “You think I’m nuts, don’t you?”
Claire shook her head slowly, her eyes wide.
“Then why do you look like I just kicked you in the girlie bits?”
Claire’s mouth opened and closed, no words coming out.
“Claire what’s wrong?”
“I don’t think you’ve been dreaming, Noel.”
She laughed. “Now which one of us needs a visit to the loony bin?”
Claire didn’t laugh.
Every nerve flickered inside her. “You’re serious?”
“Was this world the most beautiful place you’d ever been? Color so bright it almost didn’t seem real?”
Noel scowled. “Yes.”
“It’s real,” Claire confessed.
“That’s insane. It’s my dreams we’re talking about.”
“No,” Claire said, “That’s Luke’s home.”
“What?” Are you messing with me?”
“I’ve been there,” Claire said sharply, the inflection in her tone was deadly serious. “That’s his home and that’s also where Grayson was raised.”
She abruptly stood. “Have you lost your mind? This is not funny.”
Claire frowned, staring up at her. “Really? All that you’ve seen and you’re still having trouble believing in magic?”
Her jaw quivered as she shook her head back and forth. Her pulse thundered as she tried to make sense of what Claire was saying.
Claire’s gaze softened sympathetically. “Oh, honey. He’s made you forget. He must’ve shown you his world and you didn’t respond too well.”
She dug her hands into her hips. “That’s because it’s insane.”
Claire stood, her legs shaking. She steadied herself. “I tried to kill myself after my accident,” she said sharply. Noel gasped, placing her hand over her heart. “I never told you because I didn’t want you to know. You were already in a very bad place and I couldn’t risk that you’d do something as stupid as I did.”
She swallowed. “Grayson was doing an article on an athlete recovering from knee surgery when I met him in the rehabilitation center. He changed my life. He showed me a world where magic and miracles lived and anything was possible.” She licked her lips. “Grayson showed me love. We had a connection that…I just can’t explain.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. “He became my everything and I became his.”
Her eyes widened. “You’re serious.”
Claire nodded. “I didn’t know if Luke would show you. I didn’t know you loved him like you do.”
She put her hands up. “Wait, I never said I loved him. I just met him.”
Claire smiled. “It only takes a moment for a mated pair to recognize one another. The attraction is electrifying.”
She breathed slowly, calming her racing heart. “I never took you for the romantic type.”
Claire’s smile grew. “I am now.”
She sat back down, shaking her head. “What do I do with all this?”
“You remember,” Claire told her. “If you truly want to know, and you let go of the fear you have, you’ll see his world for all that it is.” She touched Noel’s hand. “You’ll see that he loves you just as much as you love him.”
Love. Allison had wanted her to find love. She had made sure that Luke gave her the doll and she had been in her dreams since before she knew Allison died. Then a surge of memories flooded through her like a freight train flying off the tracks. Her heart pounded as she took in the horror she felt, discovering a world that couldn’t be real.
She met Claire’s curious gaze. “Did you see something?”
She nodded as her eyes watered. She swallowed back the nervousness that had her body overwhelmed. Biting the inside of her mouth, she hated that she’d pushed Luke away after he had shared so much of his life with her, after he trusted her with something so personal, so magical.
How could he ever forgive her?
“Oh, Claire, what do I do now?”
Claire placed her arm around her shoulders and leaned in close as she asked, “What do you want to do?”