Sutton
We're in Caleb's private jet thousands of miles above the ground flying in the air, crossing over mountainous terrain with me oblivious as to where we are or where we're going . Caleb never telling me our destination, only informing me of the climate I needed to pack for.
Caleb's by my side, snuggled closely to me, one arm wrapped around my shoulder, my head comfortably resting against his solid firmness just below his collar.
Without warning tears begin to flow, speedily the moist wetness is trickling down my cheeks to my chin. I know where they derive from, the pain I've constantly felt never diminished. Caleb's been sweet, caring, considerate since he apologized for the hurtful display I walked in on but it doesn't change the fact that I don't know where he stands, where
we
stand and it hurts, the aching pain almost unbearable.
"Sutton," Caleb twists his body with little hesitation so he can meet my eyes. His hands reach up grabbing my face, firmly taking hold, the crystal orbs that situate below his lids lock into mine. "I don't just need you, I love you. I can't fathom the rest of my existence without you. I'm taking you away somewhere private so we can be together. I'm tired of fighting my emotions, the way I feel about you, the way you make me feel when I'm with you. I know I'm not good at expressing the way I feel, you do mean so much to me, more than you can possibly image. I don't like seeing you sad this, please know it hurts me to see you this way when you're everything to me, you take my breath away. Without you I forget how to breath, how to live, you've become a necessity I don't think I can live without."
Caleb goes to bring his lips to mine, silence me with his kisses, his touch, his electrifying cosmic embrace but for the first time ever I don't let him avoid the long due conversation even though his speech could win an Emmy. He's so convincing with his tone, his gestures, his palpitating heart I can hear pounding against his chest. I'm too enthralled in his world, lost in a swirling never ending cycle with my heart and emotions constantly spinning, never finding semblance, never finding the truth or answers that can set it at ease and it's become too overwhelming, me feeling the things he says and does is only out of convenience. I've always needed more than he was willing to give letting things slide but right now it's ripped too far into my heart and soul for me to let him deflect the things I need to say and questions I need answers to.
Pushing his hands down so they sit on his thighs, I look at him fearlessly, "Caleb McIntyre, through the time I've known you, been with you, you've been cold, uncaring, barely showing a semblance of remorse for your actions yet somehow along the way I can't stop caring about you. I thought I could do this when you offered me a job, I thought I could be with you without feeling anything but I see sides of you you try to hide, sides that I draw me in, that make me want to be with you..... sides that make me love you. Maybe I'm just confused, I don't think I've ever really been in love before but the hurt I felt when I overheard you talk about me like I was nothing to Estoban makes me believe that I have fallen for you, harder then I thought was humanly imaginable. I need to know that you're not just telling me you love me to keep me around because you've gotten use to having me at your disposal. Do you mean it?" I ask disparagingly. I'm scared, I've left nothing back leaving myself open. I don't know what I'll do if he tells me he's only said these things because he felt it's what I needed to hear, what he felt he needed to say to keep me from leaving, the sex and my company being his only true concern.
"Ms Danvers," a small grin etches at his lips, "I've fallen in love with you. I never thought I could love again but I think I knew the moment I first saw you I wouldn't be able to let you go." I'm thrown into a magnificent haze with him confessing that he loves me, on top of him calling me Ms. Danvers. He has me evaporating into nothingness. I don't know why but I love when he refers to me like that, his sultry deep voice, his illuminating eyes, his addictive smile he likes to keep discreet blinds all reason making believe anything that finds way out of his soft inescapable mouth.
I'm lost in sea of crashing waves, my heart rapidly pounding against the rocks with each smashing current. "Then make love to me Caleb, don't just fuck me, I want and need to feel all of you." A small battle has been won, the war not over. The man I love, the man who loves me still bares secrets I need to know and understand but I've conquered a milestone, my body needing reassurance. I want Caleb inside of me, I want to feel him securely locked inside my walls, rocking, swaying, telling me the best way he expresses himself, without words. He's spoken them, I've heard them, now I'm ready to feel them.
"I do, I love you. Now take off your clothes before I rip them off." And the primitive animal who fucks like an untamed beast, the primal creature I love is back but not without the one confession I needed to hear the most, the most important, the one where he has said I'm somebody, I'm the woman Caleb McIntyre loves.