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CJ dressed like Robin Hood. “Way to rock the tights and troll shoes, CJ,” Matt teased. To Harry he said in a low voice, “She looks like Peter Pan.”
“Don’t tell her that or she’ll be crabby all day,” he warned.
Amanda examined Harry. “Hey preacher. I’m ready for confession.”
“I’m not that kind of preacher,” Harry said.
“You mean I don’t get to sit on your lap like Santa Claus and tell you all my sins?” Amanda asked, sounding disappointed.
“You’ll be ready for last rites by the time you finish,” Matt scoffed.
“About those women...” Amanda said, and Matt scowled but closed his mouth.
“I thought you were dressing,” Amanda told Sady when she approached five minutes later wearing street clothes.
“Just waiting for the right time,” Sady replied. The rest wore costumes except Matt, who wore jeans and a T-shirt. He caught her checking him out and to cover her embarrassment she hastily whispered, “I hate to say it but CJ looks like a Keebler elf.”
“Best keep that to yourself,” he suggested.
Their client met them at the gate and gave them security passes, then he walked them around the grounds. He showed them areas where they could set up for an act, or just observe. After they wrapped up, he motioned for Sady to follow him. She turned and smiled. “Time to dress.” They didn’t see her after that.
People lined up at the gate well before the festival opened at ten. Sady took advantage of the influx to position herself for her act as a wandering minstrel. She had secured her hair up under a hat, darkened her face with makeup, thickened her brows, and wore a scruffy beard with a mustache. Her outfit was a pair of close fitting leggings, a large, long white tunic, and a vest. No one would know she was a woman unless they got very close.
She had a bag of balls and juggled to entertain the crowd. Another old beauty pageant routine, recycled and put to better use. After a while she put away her balls and did magic tricks for the kids. As she was putting her magic tricks away in her bag, she saw a woman walk by and thought, that is the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen, poor thing.
Then she shook off her sympathy for the woman and pulled a cittern from its case. It was a beauty. Uncle John had come through again. She played a few tunes, entertaining the crowd that gathered to watch. It delighted her when people tossed money in the open case. It paid better than a beauty pageant!
Later that morning she heard a commotion and laughed to see Amanda in the middle of it. A man dressed in a period outfit had her by the arm and announced in a loud voice, “Make way. She needs to use the privy. Please, ladies and gentlemen, we’re on our way to the privy. Out of the way.”
Amanda stopped and yanked the thin man back with a jerk that rattled his teeth. “You keep up that yelling and I’ll make you privy to things you don’t want to know. Now you find me a bathroom and not one of those portable gas pods either.”
She pointed to a permanent structure on the grounds. “Get me in there or I’ll lock you in the scotty potty and tip it over.” The man hastily and quietly cleared a path to the wooden building. Sady smiled as she watched. Everyone else thought it was part of the entertainment.
Sady had seen CJ and Harry walk by several times. She also saw Matt, usually with a pretty woman by his side each time he passed. She was juggling when she spotted him a short distance away, leaning over a buxom wench displaying her billowing wares over the top of her too small blouse.
A couple young kids were watching Sady juggle. She winked at them. “You want to have some fun?” They nodded, and she handed them a couple balls. “When I turn back I need you to toss me those balls- quick.” They agreed, and she reached into her bag.
By the time the tomato splattered on Matt’s head and sent the wench screaming Sady had her back turned, juggling again. The kids laughed and complimented her on her aim. She invited them to practice with her while Matt looked around, irritated. She kept busy with her junior jugglers and he couldn’t identify who tossed the tomato.
Throughout the day she kept in text contact with the rest of the crew. So far no one had seen or heard anything on their thief.
Later that afternoon Amanda was in the middle of another scene. She had a beggar by the arm and dragged him to the security booth. "Next time you’re gonna flash your trash, make sure you got something worth showing. I seen wienies at the gas station on the 24 hour rolling grill that look better. Maybe you should use Viagra before you try this again... or did you? What makes you think anyone wants to see that? I bet your toilet seat cries when it sees you coming. I should sue you for traumatizing me. Ain’t no amount of bleach gonna remove that image from my mind. I’d gouge out my eyes with a rusty screwdriver but it’s too late. I’m gonna need therapy for years..."
Harry nudged CJ. “I see Amanda’s taken care of our flasher. We should probably go rescue the guy before she emasculates him completely.” Harry and CJ met up with Amanda and the flasher at the security booth. The security team was trying not to laugh while Amanda continued her rant. It wasn’t long before the man begged security to take him away.
Amanda straightened her gown and adjusted her hat. “Dirty old pervert, showing off his nasties to innocent young girls. He’s lucky I wasn’t wearing gloves or he wouldn’t have anything left to show. Now if you’ll excuse me. Looks like that knight over there could use a rescue. I’ll go see if I can help.”
Sady went back to her magic act and Matt wandered by with another top heavy tart. “You want to see me make this egg disappear?” she asked the kids watching her performance. They nodded, and she fast pitched the egg, hitting him square in the middle of his back. She had her deck of cards out when he looked around trying to wipe the egg off his shirt. The kids screamed with laughter, and Sady kept her back turned.
She soon decided to pack up her act and wander through the event grounds. Her equipment was in a bag she slung over her shoulder. At the back edge of the grounds she saw a man stumble out from behind a booth. He had a trickle of blood running down his forehead and she approached him with concern. “Some guy just clubbed me then took my wallet and watch.”
Sady sent a text to the security team and her workmates, and she then stepped back. Security helped the man to first aid and took his statement while she stayed under cover.
CJ put her phone on speaker so Sady heard the discussion from her position near the back of the park. The victim had seen nothing out of the ordinary. He had stepped to the side of a booth to check the goods when he was shoved behind it and knocked on the head.
While Sady listened to what was taking place at the first aid station she saw a woman crying for help. The crowd closed in and Sady heard a similar story. She waited and watched as the rest of the security guards rushed to the area.
Then she fired off a text to her crew. Two hits on the north end meant their thief was likely on the move to another area. Amanda was taking east, CJ and Harry were going south, Matt was central, so Sady would check the west side.
There was that ugly woman again. Sady shuddered and wondered if it was a costume. That woman had a better five o’clock shadow than... she looked again. The woman pushed against someone in the crowd and pulled out their wallet, shoving it down the front of her dress. Sady realized the woman had a very lumpy bosom.
Sady pulled out her cittern and strummed as she walked. The ugly woman stepped behind a booth and reappeared with her skirt tucked into hobo pants, her bandanna now on her neck. Now she was a man... and still ugly.
He stopped to check a booth on the west side of the grounds. Sady put away the cittern and pulled out her juggling balls. She heard a roar and knew the jousting event was taking place. It was a big draw, and the crowd was thinner now.
The young girl managing the jewelry booth looked nervously at the man lingering over the tables. Sady watched in horror when he made his move. He grabbed the young girl and bashed her head against the table, letting her body slide to the ground. Then he reached for the cash box and emptied it out down the front of his dress. He pulled the skirt out of his pants, hiked the bandanna to the top of his head, and left the booth as a woman.
When someone yelled for help, he headed back to the booth with other concerned spectators. Security arrived a short while later and the thief lingered with the crowd while security scrambled to cover the area. Smart guy, not making a run for it. No one would think he was still in the crowd. Sady watched security and soon realized the thief watched her. Crap- he’d made her.
He didn’t linger but ran toward the exit. There was no way Sady could know if he would exit as a man or a woman so she took off after him. He was moving fast, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to catch him. She was still holding her juggling balls, so she paused, wound up, and hurled one. He caught it in the middle of his back.
He stopped in surprise, turning around to see what happened. Sady hurled another ball, and he took it in what Amanda would call his “nasties.” He dropped to the ground clutching himself and moaning. His bandanna came off and money rolled out of his dress. Sady stood back and watched with pleasure as the angry crowd pulled his dress and more items fell out.
“Nice arm.” Sady jumped when she heard Matt’s voice beside her. He pulled the cittern out of her bag. “So you really play this thing?” She took it and plucked out a tune.
“Okay, I’m impressed. You’re more than just a pretty face... with a beard. You have good aim too. Remind me to ask you about that later. You wouldn’t know anything about an egg or a tomato incident would you?” Sady just smiled and didn’t speak.
He pushed her back against a tree. “No comment? That’s okay. I like the quiet type too. There’s more time to do this.” He lifted her chin with his finger and brushed his lips against hers, teasing her. She dropped her bag and pulled his head toward hers, closing the gap between them. The kiss was heating up when a kid yelled, “Oh, gross. There’s two men kissing.”
Security had a busy day. They rushed over and pulled them apart. “We don’t allow that on the grounds. This is a family event.” CJ and Harry watched as Matt and the person they now recognized as Sady got kicked out of the festival.
Matt and Sady almost made it to the parking area when they heard, “Yoo-hoo, Stubbles! Don’t forget about me.”
Matt stopped and closed his eyes, muttering, “I’d need a lobotomy for that to happen.”
Amanda caught up with them and latched onto Matt’s arm. “You coming with us, Sady?” he asked hopefully when they stopped by his car.
“Sorry, but I’ve got a hot date. I’m in love and things are moving fast.” She waved and left them standing by his car. Matt looked confused and Amanda jammed her elbow into his ribs.
“I told you that you’d better pick up your game. Now you gotta win her back, but don’t worry. I’m her best friend and I’ll give you tips on the way back home. Oh, and you can take me for some food while we talk it over. That fried stuff they served here didn’t settle right. I know the perfect place and the drinks are half price.”
CJ and Harry watched from behind a tree. CJ chuckled, “Life’s a lot more interesting with them around. This is going to be fun to watch.”