‘Support her head, Aisling! She’s only eleven weeks old.’
Sadhbh has invited Ruby and Elaine over for a Friday night takeaway and wine. It feels a lot like old times, except there’s an uninvited fifth presence in the room now.
‘I don’t think she likes me,’ I yelp, holding down the Sphynx kitten who’s desperately trying to escape my lap and coming dangerously close to ripping a chunk out of my forearm. Every part of her is angular and sharp, apart from two little patches of velvety hair on either side of her rump. She hasn’t stopped hissing since they arrived.
Ruby turns to Elaine. ‘She might be cold. Did you bring her pink blankie? That always calms her down.’
Elaine looks alarmed. ‘Balls. Should I go back for it? I think I have her little fleece here somewhere.’
‘Guys, you know it’s only a cat, don’t you?’ Sadhbh can’t hide her impatience. ‘There’s one outside happily living off chia seeds in my bin.’
Ruby and Elaine arrived twenty minutes ago and have spent the whole time laying out the cat bed, litter tray and all the toys and bits they claim are absolutely essential to little Marsha’s comfort and happiness. The kitten leaps out of my arms and heads towards the kitchen. I’m a bit relieved, to be honest. She’s not very cuddly. I know That Bloody Cat can be a pain in the hole, but at least she’d occasionally sit on your lap without drawing blood.
‘Marsha is a she, Sadhbh, not an “it”.’ Elaine hasn’t changed a bit – she’s having none of Sadhbh’s attitude. They’ve known each other since college and behave like sisters sometimes, stealing each other’s tops and bickering over nothing. I would have said they were very similar, but Elaine’s gone full cat mammy now, and Sadhbh is just not an animal person. Or a mammy person.
‘Sorry.’ Sadhbh is contrite as she tops up our wine.
‘Oh, not too much for me, Sadhbhy,’ Elaine says. ‘She’ll be up at six in the morning whinging to be let out.’
I catch Sadhbh rolling her eyes and try to defuse the situation. ‘What made you want to get a hairless cat anyway?’ The question has been bubbling up inside me since they walked in with her in a carrier on Ruby’s back. She’s one of the weirdest-looking animals I’ve ever seen, and I remember when Mad Tom had a pet stoat he used to keep in his coat pocket.
‘What do you mean?’ Elaine says tersely.
Feck. I try to backtrack. ‘It’s just that they’re so unusual. I’ve never seen one in real life before, only on Friends.’
Ruby’s face darkens. ‘That episode has done untold damage to the Sphynx cat-owning community.’
Elaine pipes up. ‘They are unusual, though. We had to go all the way to France to adopt her.’
Everyone turns to look at Marsha, who’s sitting in the kitchen doorway glaring back at us.
‘Yeah, she seems like she was worth the trip,’ Sadhbh mutters.
This evening was supposed to be a relaxing catch-up, but it’s been pretty tense so far, not helped by the fact that Sadhbh is milling into the Pinot Greej and our takeaway is running extremely late. I always thought the Japanese were meant to be punctual.
‘Anyway, enough about Marsha,’ Ruby says, settling back into the cushions on Sadhbh and Don’s lovely couch. ‘I feel like she’s all we’ve talked about for the last two weeks. I actually wanted a puppy. Ha!’
Elaine leans forward in her armchair. ‘How many times do I have to tell you? Lesbians owning a cat is not a cliché!’
‘Can someone please tell my wife she’s in denial?’
Sadhbh clears her throat dramatically. ‘I think Don is going to break up with me.’
The words hang in the air. All three of us turn to the fireplace, where she’s standing. Even Marsha has stopped licking her naked paws.
‘What the hell, Sadhbh? Where did that come from?’ Elaine is up off her chair in a flash, her hand on the small of Sadhbh’s back, guiding her to the couch between me and Ruby. ‘Sit down, sit down.’
I don’t know what to say. She’s been a bit withdrawn lately, but I had no idea a break-up was on the cards. Don is still in LA, but they talk every day. How could things between them be so bad she thinks he wants to end it?
‘It’s not his fault,’ Sadhbh sniffs. ‘I told him to do it.’
‘Hang on a second, I’m confused,’ Ruby says, reaching for the wine bottle. ‘You told him to break up with you? Why the hell would you do that? You two are made for each other. I read that on Her.ie last week. There was a poll.’
Sadhbh takes a gulp of wine. I gently release the glass from her hand and put it on the coffee table. ‘Easy on the lady petrol there, Sadhbhy.’ If her sushi doesn’t come soon, she’s going to be on her ear.
‘It’s very simple.’ She shrugs. ‘He wants to have a baby and I don’t. I just don’t. I thought I was very clear about that from day one.’ Then she turns to me. ‘I’m sorry, Ais, I don’t want to upset you.’
Then Elaine looks at me. ‘Why would that upset you? You’re not telling her to just have his baby to keep him happy, are you?’
‘Jesus Christ, Aisling, are you for real?’ Ruby is incredulous. ‘Get a grip!’
Now it’s Sadhbh’s turn to backtrack. ‘God, no, Ais would never. It’s actually been so lovely having her here.’ She squeezes my hand. ‘I’ve been feeling so lonely. She has enough on her own plate.’ Then she whispers, ‘It’s okay to tell them, isn’t it?’
I nod, feeling a lump form in my throat. ‘Of course.’ We’ve seen each other through plenty of ups and downs over the years, not least the time I got us all into Berghain and then got off my face on Nurofen.
Sadhbh clears her throat. ‘Aisling had a miscarriage a few weeks ago.’
Elaine gasps and immediately tries to hug me.
‘I’m fine, I’m fine. Honestly. It happens to so many people all the time.’
Elaine looks horrified. ‘You two are dealing with all this, and you let us talk about our new cat for the past forty minutes?’
‘Really and truly, we’re mortified,’ Ruby adds, shooting Elaine a you-and-your-bloody-cat look.
‘I’m grand now, I swear,’ I reassure them, not willing to go into the whole sad story. ‘Let’s focus on Sadhbh.’
‘It’s fine, I should have said something sooner.’ Sadhbh sniffs. ‘I just wanted to let you know where things are with me and Don. We tried seeing a counsellor on Zoom to figure it out, but there was a time delay, and between that and her asking us to hold space during the session for her cat that had recently died –’
‘Oh God.’ Ruby reaches for Marsha.
‘– Don lost the head and said he wasn’t doing the counselling again.’
‘That doesn’t sound like Don.’
‘I know, but he’s so stressed about the new album, I think it all just got to him. I love him and he loves me, but if he really wants a baby, I’ve told him it will have to be with someone else and to go ahead and pull the plug on us. It’s not like he doesn’t have girls in his DMs twenty-four hours a day.’ She smiles. ‘And I’m not just talking about Maj.’
‘Jesus, Sadhbh, you poor thing. That’s a lot to deal with.’ Elaine turns to me now. ‘And you too, a miscarriage. I’m so sorry, Aisling.’
I pick at the cuff of my hoodie. ‘Thanks. But it’s okay. It wasn’t like it was planned or anything.’
‘That doesn’t make it any less hard, Ais.’ Ruby’s voice is so sweet it catches me off guard. Very out of character for her.
‘Thanks. No, I know. I’m okay – I’m a bit worried about John, though. He took it hard.’ That’s when I start to cry. More betrayal from my body.
‘John? As in … John?’ Elaine is reaching for the wine again and I don’t blame her. It’s a lot to take in. ‘What’s it got to do with him?’
I take a deep breath. ‘He’s Down Home. We’re back together. The baby was his.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Ruby shouts, sitting up straighter. ‘I’m really struggling to keep up here. You and John are a couple again?’
‘They’re BGB’s own Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck.’ Sadhbh laughs. ‘He won’t stop asking her to marry him.’
‘And you’re not saying yes?’ Elaine is incredulous. ‘That’s not the Aisling I know.’
I flick my hair. ‘What can I say? I’ve changed.’ Then I reach for Sadhbh’s hand. ‘You and Don will sort things out, I know you will. I think you’re right to be honest with him. Your body, your choice.’
The buzz of Sadhbh’s doorbell app sends the cat flying under the coffee table, but no one pays her any notice. ‘Finally,’ Sadhbh says, heading out into the hallway, slightly wobbly in her Ugg slippers. Then she pops her head back into the room. ‘And did you hear Majella is pregnant?’
‘She’s almost twelve weeks,’ I add.
‘I think we’re going to need to open another bottle.’ Elaine sighs, sinking back into the couch.