Aubrey and I have been interviewing for the junior executive position for nearly four hours, and there hasn’t been one standout candidate among them. The number of no-shows? Three. And the number of duds? I’ve lost count. One girl kept her iPhone in her hand and started scrolling Instagram when I was telling her what the role involves. We urgently need to find someone, though, because the two of us have slipped into a dangerous standoff over answering the phone. I’m officially Chief Operating Officer – Europe, so I’m hardly going to be the one to do it. And she claims that being ‘acting receptionist’ is nowhere in her job description, so she’s flat out refusing too. If we keep letting calls go to voicemail we’re going to start missing clients. Or worse, Mandy is going to notice and rip us to shreds when she visits at the end of the summer.
‘I’m so hungry, can we please break for lunch?’ Aubrey pleads after seeing out a twenty-four-year-old with a master’s from Trinity who asked if his mother could sit in on the interview because he was nervous. ‘I need my fix.’
She’s been hooked on chicken fillet rolls since I persuaded her to skip Starbucks and try a local delicacy from the Centra across the road instead. I caught her sobbing after the first bite.
‘Let’s just get this one over with first,’ I say, scanning the next CV on top of my pile. ‘No real experience but has three summers in her uncle’s B&B under her belt, doing a bit of everything. She signed off her cover letter with “keep slaying”, so, you know, we’ll see.’
The door goes and Aubrey buzzes her in.
I settle back and take a sip of water. Dee Ruane texted earlier to say she has news for me and she’ll fill me in later at the Peigs gig. Síomha and Cara finally replied to my message and sort of reluctantly said they’d come, so I’m already a bit stressed about merging the groups. They’d better be on their best behaviour.
The office door swings open and a tall brunette with the most incredible head of waist-length curls strides in. She’s wearing patchwork denim flares and a cropped purple cardigan with big pink buttons and has a tote bag with ‘Dump Him’ printed on it.
‘Hey … Aisling?’ She walks over to where me and Aubrey are squashed behind my desk, and I reach out to shake her hand. Good grip. Firm. No sweat. It wouldn’t be me.
‘Lovely to meet you, Hannah. This is Aubrey. Have a seat there. So, tell us, why would you like to work at Mandy Blumenthal Event Architects?’
Hannah tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and sits down. ‘Um, because Mandy Blumenthal is an icon. I’m obsessed with her.’
I glance at Aubrey, who shrugs. None of the other interviewees could even pronounce Mandy’s name properly, let alone knew who she was. Two of them kept saying Bloomingdale.
‘So what have you heard?’ I ask, flipping open my notebook.
‘Only that she’s in a league of her own when it comes to luxe events,’ Hannah gushes. ‘Her aesthetic always slaps. I mean, did you see the table settings for Bella Hadid’s Thanksgiving dinner? I die.’
I picked out the china pattern myself. ‘How do you know about that? It was a private event. All the guests had to surrender their phones.’
‘Oh, I can always find pics when I want to. One of the chefs has a private Instagram, but I created a Finsta using a profiler from her second cousin’s yearbook and, boom, I’m in. I’m the CEO of stalking when I need to be. So …’ Hannah’s eyes flick around the room. ‘Mandy isn’t going to be here today?’
‘Unfortunately not. But the successful candidate will of course get to meet her.’
‘Oh my God, seriously?’ Hannah looks ecstatic. ‘I can get her to autograph my dissertation.’ Her demeanour quickly changes. ‘I mean, if I’m lucky enough.’
Aubrey’s eyes narrow. ‘You want Mandy to autograph what now?’
‘My dissertation. The topic was the “Challenges of Fundraising Events Involving A- to C-List Clients”. I used William J. McNamara’s Fall Ball as my case study.’
I’m trying to conceal my surprise when the phone in front of us starts to ring. Aubrey immediately looks down and starts fiddling with her new fake jade bracelet. Penneys, four euro. I smile tightly at Hannah, who glances from me to the phone to Aubrey to the phone and back to me again. She looks a little confused. The phone continues to ring. And ring. And ring. And ring.
‘Mandy Blumenthal Events, Hannah speaking. How can I help you?’
Aubrey’s head snaps up and she looks straight over at me, her eyes wide.
‘No, we’re not a language school. I swear to you. Look, I’ve got to go. Oui. Merci.’
‘Hannah,’ I say as soon as she hangs up, ‘can you start Monday?’
****
There must be hundreds of people milling around outside the 3Arena, but I spot the gang from BGB immediately because Majella is wearing the most Peigs merch I’ve ever seen in one place, and all of it is clearly unlicensed. Sadhbh is going to murder her.
‘Here they are, Aubrey, come on. You remember John, don’t you? And this is Sharon and Maeve, and that’s Dee and Denise and Pablo there with the banner. What does it say, Pab?’
He passes it to Majella, who holds it above her head gleefully. Three big words. It’s. Yours. Don. And a massive arrow pointing straight down to her and her bump. He’ll get a laugh out of that, for sure.
The girls say their hellos and do their hugs while John gathers me into his arms with a ‘hey you’ and kisses my hair. ‘Nice to see you again, Aubrey. What do you think, is Dublin better than New York or what?’
‘It is, yeah,’ Aubrey scoffs, accepting a premixed tin of gin and tonic from Sharon. Then her face lights up.
‘Oh my God, Aubs!’ I laugh. ‘You’re assimilating.’
I check my phone. According to a text from Elaine, herself and Ruby are already upstairs in the VIP bar waiting for Sadhbh. I scan the crowd for Síomha and Cara. They said they’d be here at half seven and it’s quarter to eight now. The night is not off to a great start.
‘Lads, can we go inside?’ Majella pleads, pulling her Peigs trucker hat down over her eyes and wrapping her Peigs scarf around her neck. ‘I’m cold and sober and I want to make sure I have a good view of Don.’
‘Just let me knock this one back, Maj!’ Maeve shouts.
‘I don’t know how she has any left,’ Majella hisses in my ear. ‘She made me stop the minibus three times on the way up to widdle in the ditch.’
Dee Ruane squeezes in between us while John moves away to relieve Sharon of her last tin. ‘Quick word, Ais?’
‘Absolutely,’ I say, making sure John is out of earshot. ‘Tell me everything!’
‘So you know Murt Kelly’s mother’s cottage that I was telling you about? The one just outside the village?’
‘Yeah.’ It’s a tiny place, with two small windows on either side of a half-door. The back garden is massive, though.
‘I’ve checked it out and it’s actually in really good nick, considering it’s been vacant for a few years. It could do with a bit of modernisation, but it’s definitely liveable. Are you interested? The Kellys are thinking of renting it for a while before they decide if they’re going to sell it or not. I have the keys. You can look at it at the weekend if you like? It won’t be ready for a couple of months, but it’ll be cheap.’
I glance over at John, who’s rubbing Majella’s upper arms vigorously to warm her up while Pablo re-rolls the banner. I’ve been seeing him less and feeling more in the way in Sadhbh’s now that Don is home and they’re having tense conversations about coffee and laundry and anything but the ‘having kids’ issue.
‘I’ll take it.’
Dee looks surprised. ‘Without viewing it? Are you sure?’
‘Certain. Don’t let anyone else look at it and don’t say anything to anyone either, will you?’
‘My lips are sealed,’ she says, miming doing the zip and throwing it away and nearly losing her gin in the process.
‘That’s it, I’m going in,’ Majella roars, throwing her arms in the air. ‘I’m not missing Don walking out on stage.’
Everyone starts getting their stuff together, but there’s still no bloody sign of Síomha or Cara.
‘Okay, you guys go on to the guest-list kiosk and get your wristbands. They’re all under my name. You can go up and find Sadhbh, and I’ll wait out here for the last few stragglers.’
John grabs my hand. ‘I’ll wait with you.’
‘Are you sure you don’t want to sample the VIP amenities? Ruby says there’s three different kinds of chicken wings.’
‘No way am I leaving you – I haven’t seen you in two days,’ he replies, pulling me in for a kiss.
‘Good, because I have a surprise for you,’ I say, tapping my nose.
As the others head off to get their sparkly gold wristbands, me and John find a bench to sit on. It’s after eight now, so the plaza in front of the 3Arena is empty save for a few touts and a man selling T-shirts from inside his trench coat. The band is going to be on stage any minute.
‘So what’s the surprise?’ John goes, taking my hand.
I stand up and face him square on, my pitch already in my head. ‘I’ve decided I’m moving back to BGB and I’m moving into Murt Kelly’s mother’s cottage, and I think you should move in there with me.’
‘Okay, whoa!’ And then he laughs.
‘I’m deadly serious. I miss you too much when we’re not together. I think it’s finally time for us to move in together.’
He jumps up and takes out his phone.
‘What are you doing?’ I laugh.
‘Getting a taxi to BGB. Come on.’
‘Now, it needs a bit of work, so we’ll have to wait a while. It’ll be summer before it’s ready.’
‘The summer?’ He looks disappointed. Then he sits back down and pulls me with him and scrapes his stubble on my cheek. ‘You big tease.’
‘So you think it’s a good idea?’
‘I think it’s the best idea you’ve had in years.’
A roar from inside the venue announces that The Peigs must be taking to the stage. I swear I can hear Majella screaming.
John stands up. ‘C’mon, time to call it, Ais. You can’t say you didn’t try. I’m not missing “Pierce Brosnan” waiting for them. You know that’s my favourite song.’
I let him pull me up and look back over my shoulder. ‘Where the hell are they? They knew I was pulling strings to get them in tonight.’
‘Come on, we can leave their tickets at the box office. Just text them and let them know.’
****
We make it into the front pit just as The Peigs finish their first song. I’ve never heard screaming like it. The gang are over to the left, and several young ones are trying to sneakily get a pic of Sadhbh. She’s wearing a harness that I know she got in a sex shop on Camden Street, but over the frilly pink blouse it actually looks great. I’m wearing a new dress from Zara that I didn’t think would suit me because, historically, shirt dresses and my boobs are not great bedfellows, but I do feel pretty great in it and won’t mind if I get in the background of any pictures of Sadhbh and Don.
‘Where are the evil stepsisters?’ Majella roars as Don sings the opening lines of ‘Homesick for Henry Street’, one of the songs off their new album. She nearly brains a fan with her huge sign.
‘No sign. Left the tickets for them.’
Majella looks shook. ‘They’ve already missed two songs! Animals!’
The Peigs fly through their set, and it’s incredible how many people in the 3Arena already know all the words to the new album. Pablo has to keep restraining Majella from trying to get on his shoulders. ‘You are four and a half months with our baby, mi amor. Please keep your feet on the ground.’
I repeatedly check my phone for an update from Cara and Síomha, but it’s not until the whole place is roaring along to ‘Will You Meet Me Friend?’ that I finally get a text from Cara.
‘So sorry for the late notice, something has just come up. We won’t make it after all.’
I show the screen to John and he rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t mind them. You just enjoy yourself.’
I shove my phone back in my bag, seething.
When Don is handed his acoustic guitar to play ‘Bábóg Blues’, I glance across at Sadhbh and then grab her hand when I see tears in her eyes. Don says this one’s about missing her, but she’s convinced it’s about him missing his phantom baby. It’s a beautiful song, and we’re all in floods by the time he strums the last chords and blows her a kiss. I swear I hear a girl behind us hissing at her. It seems like way too soon when they go off for their pretend ending and then come back to finish with ‘She’s the Business’ and ‘Pierce Brosnan’. I squeeze John’s hand so tight as we scream, ‘God bless you, Pierce Brosnan, please God you’ll return some day to Navaaaaan.’
****
We’re able to slip backstage and out a side door to a minibus Don has arranged for us to bring us to the Clarence for the afterparty. There are lots of fans waiting outside the hotel, basically showing Don their knickers as he tries to go in. He’s super polite and stops to sign things and take selfies, while Sadhbh barely notices and drags us inside after her so we can get some good seats. Truly she is the perfect level of cucumber-cool to deal with his rabid following – and Majella. Don seems relaxed when he finally joins us and pulls Sadhbh onto his knee. The whole band look wrecked, and I’m not surprised. They’re touring the album for a month in the UK, then taking a few well-deserved months off before going back to the US for more gigs. Honestly, I don’t know how they do it, but I am excited about them playing a tequila event in Vicar Street in October that me and Aubrey are already hard at work organising. Ben Dixon will be flying in from the new Bond movie set, and Daniel Craig’s assistant’s secretary has acknowledged the invite. If we can get Brosnan there it will be the hat trick. Majella has already asked if she can bring a four-week-old baby.
‘I still can’t believe those two little face-aches didn’t come!’ No amount of mocktails will get Maj over the Cara and Síomha snub.
‘I know. I left them on read. That’s the last time I do anything nice for them.’
She finishes her virgin raspberry fizz and gestures at Pablo to get her another one. He’s flitting around her like a nervous moth. ‘Have you and John any holidays booked? I need to get away before I’m not allowed to fly.’
‘No. All his money is in the gym, and I’m just going to be hammering away at work all summer. Plus – this is exciting – Dee has the perfect place. Murt Kelly’s cottage. I told her I’d take it.’
‘No way! Is it not in bits, though? Mammy said there was a very cranky badger living in there last time Murt checked.’ Murt Kelly is Majella’s godfather and a bit of a cranky badger himself.
‘They’re doing it up. Dee reckons about three months until it’s ready for finishing touches.’
‘This is exciting!’ She shoos away a clinger who tries to slip into the seat momentarily vacated by Don and Sadhbh. ‘It’s mad that you and John have never even lived together.’
‘I know. I have a good feeling about it, though.’
‘Will you stay with Sadhbh until then?’
‘Ah, I’ll be nomading around a bit between there and BGB. But Sadhbh and Don are going away for a month, so at least I won’t be in the way too much.’
‘The Maldives. Must be nice. I wonder will they get engaged.’
‘As long as they stay together, I don’t care what they do.’