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IN THE MORNING, I DOWNED a cup of complimentary coffee before we checked out. Gertie was determined we weren’t leaving until we found her missing horns and I had a feeling I’d need the caffeine. Ida Belle drank one in our room and took one for the road. I guess she felt the same way.
After breakfast, we returned to the old part of town and Gertie found a public parking lot since we were no longer guests of the rooming house. It was Sunday but the businesses in Desperado didn’t close for God or bad weather—only a Willie Nelson concert, or so we were told at the restaurant where we ate.
“Well, where should we start?” Gertie asked.
“Let’s stop people on the street and ask if they’ve seen a purloined rack,” Ida Belle joked.
“This is serious, Ida Belle!”
“I still have the picture of the thief’s back,” I said. “It might be helpful. He’s not a small man and his hair is rather full for a man his age.” Then I suggested we try the fudge shop first.
After annihilating my plans to go on a strict diet by purchasing a full two pounds of fudge in a variety of flavors, I pulled up the picture of the suspected thief, gave a brief description, and then showed the woman working at the cash register. She shook her head so we walked next door to the candle shop where Gertie bought some hand-dipped beeswax candles.
“Have you seen this man?” I showed the photo and gave the description but the clerk hadn’t seen him either.
Outside, Ida Belle suggested we try shops that would attract men. “Like the blacksmith’s.”
At the blacksmith shop, two men worked outside, demonstrating their skills for the tourists. One was friendly and stopped to talk between tasks. The other stuck to his business and paid no attention to the audience. Consequently, very few stood near him and I took the opportunity to show him the picture.
He glanced at it and shook his head. But he held the horseshoe over the fire longer than he had previously. Plus, he hesitated a bit too long and I was sure he was lying. He pounded the shoe and then turned to dip it in water to cool it. I shoved my phone in his face.
“Are you sure?”
“Uh, I, uh...” His eyes shifted and he loosened his grip on his tool, allowing the horseshoe to drop into the water. “What do you want him for?”
“I just want to have a word with him,” I replied.
“Please,” Gertie added.
He studied us for a moment. “You together?”
“The three of us,” Gertie answered, pointing to Ida Belle who watched the other smith at work.
“You the law or something?”
“Just passing acquaintances,” I assured him.
“He was by here earlier and that’s all I have to say.”
He removed his leather apron, hollered to his coworker, and left his work area for the shop through a door marked “Private. Employees Only.”
“Well, that was interesting,” Gertie said under her breath as we joined Ida Belle in the other group.
“So what illegal activity is the Rackman involved in?” I asked.
We waited for the friendly blacksmith to finish his demonstration and take off his apron, a signal that the show was over. I moved forward—with Ida Belle and Gertie behind me—hoping I could catch his attention before he entered the shop.
“Excuse me,” I called.
He turned and smiled. “Can I help you, ladies?”
I nodded and made my request. He took my phone and squinted at it before handing it back.
“This guy? Yeah, I seen him but I didn’t need what he was selling.”
“Need what he was selling?” Gertie repeated.
“My stallion gallops just fine without the uh...juice. Or, in this case, the powder.”
“Oh-h!” Ida Belle, Gertie, and I spoke as one. So that’s why the gray-haired man was so eager to get the horns. He must have ground them into an aphrodisiac. We thanked the blacksmith and left. On the sidewalk, Ida Belle laid the facts out to Gertie. “The rack is gone and even if we found the thief, there’s no way to prove it.”
Gertie’s face fell. “I guess we might as well go home.”
I felt bad for Gertie, but not bad enough to suggest we stay around for the square dance. From the way Ida Belle hustled Gertie to the car I could tell she felt the same way. It wasn’t until we were an hour out of town that Gertie recalled the event.
“Should we go back?”
“Absolutely not!” Ida Belle said.
“Fortune?”
I met Gertie’s hopeful eyes in the rear-view mirror and my desire to please her fought with my sense of dignity and self-preservation. While my mental battle raged, Gertie reminded us that she’d purchased special clothes for the occasion, quickly ending my indecision.
“You should return those clothes for a refund and put the money toward the horns,” I declared.
“You don’t mind?” she asked.
Absolutely not! I smiled and shook my head while Ida Belle shook with laughter at Gertie’s question. The remainder of the trip was uneventful and when Gertie dropped me off, I was glad to be back in the comfort of my own home. I took a shower and then called Carter, inviting him for supper.
He cooked hamburgers on the grill while I put together a salad. I told him about our trip while we ate and after finishing, we tidied the kitchen—leaving the dishes for later—and settled onto the couch. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. The show wasn’t particularly interesting, but that was okay because I found Carter far more enjoyable. I was exploring his jawline when someone pounded on the front door. Of course, I stopped what I was doing.
“Ignore it,” he whispered in my ear, sending shivers up my spine.
I smiled at the look in his devastating green eyes and closed my own.
“Yoo-hoo! Fortune, are you in there?”
My eyes popped open, and Carter cursed under his breath. “Didn’t she just spend the weekend with you? What can she possibly need to see you about?”
“Maybe I should check and then we can be alone.”
He kissed me hard and I forgot about Gertie on my front porch. Until I heard her tapping on the window directly across from the couch where I was sprawled across Carter’s lap. His lips stilled, and I opened my eyes and gazed up at him.
“Can she see us?” I asked.
He rubbed his forehead. “Take a look for yourself.”
I turned toward the window to find Gertie with her hands cupped on either side of her face and her nose pressed to the glass. She waved and shouted, “I have important news!” She pointed to the front door and left.
I swung my feet to the floor and assured Carter, “I’ll be quick.”
He ran a hand through his dark hair, leaving it even more mussed than what I had done to it. I smoothed it down and dropped a kiss on top of his head before running to answer the door.
“I hope I’m not interrupting,” Gertie said, pushing past me into the house. “It’s just this is such wonderful news and I wanted to share it with you.”
I coughed to cover the sound of Carter’s less-than-polite remark and smiled at Gertie. “Yes?”
She sniffed the air. “Is that coffee I smell?”
“Uh, no.”
“Well, go start a pot. We’ll want it to go with these brownies.”
It was then I noticed that she held a pan and when she pulled back the foil covering, I heard Carter stir in my living room just before joining us. “Do I smell brownies? Is there any coffee?”
That was all Gertie needed to hear. She left me standing with the front door half-closed and Carter, with an untucked shirt and tousled hair, grabbing for my hand.
“Quick, let’s go before—”
“Oh, Fortune! Gertie didn’t say Carter was joining us.” Ida Belle pushed the door fully open, took one look at Carter’s face, and headed to the kitchen.
“That worked out well,” he remarked as I thumped my head on his chest.
“Stay.”
“For women’s gossip? No, thanks.”
“Then how about for brownies and coffee?” I asked, peering up at him.
He closed one eye thoughtfully before shaking his head. “Nah. That can’t compensate for what I’ll be missing.”
“How about if I add a scoop of ice cream to your brownie?”
“What flavor?”
I rolled my eyes. “With a chocolate brownie? You even need to ask?”
“This evening has taken a wrong turn,” he reminded me. “And staying for a brownie with Blue Moon would only make it worse.”
“Would you settle for vanilla?”
“I’d settle for you.”
The next thing I knew Gertie was behind me, clearing her throat. Even when Carter released me with a grim look, I clasped his shirt with my fists and struggled to gather my flustered thoughts.
“I really do hate interrupting, but the coffee’s ready,” Gertie said. She grinned and returned to the kitchen.
“I don’t think she hated interrupting at all,” he murmured.
I stepped back with a laugh and took one of his hands in mine. “They won’t be here all night,” I reminded him.
“I’m not betting on that.”
I pulled him toward the kitchen but I could tell he was reluctant to stay. “How long can it possibly take?” I reasoned. “We don’t have a case to discuss and we rehashed our Desperado trip on the way home. Please?” I traced a finger down his chest and he grabbed it.
“You don’t play fair,” he accused but followed me into the kitchen where Gertie had set the table for four. Carter cocked a brow at me. “Is this a setup?”
And then a vision of Ida Belle, Gertie, and I sitting at the restaurant and Gertie telling us about Lance passed through my suddenly uneasy mind. I prayed Gertie wasn’t about to issue Carter an ultimatum, telling him I had the next guy lined up to take his place if he didn’t propose marriage. Ida Belle grinned at the inquiring—and horrified—look I shot her and quietly shook her head. I let out a silent breath of relief and took my seat to wait for whatever important news Gertie decided needed to be revealed tonight.
“Not so fast,” Carter said. “Where’s my ice cream?”
I hopped up, praying my freezer wasn’t stocked with Superman or whatever flavor had been on sale last week when I went shopping. Whew! A new carton of vanilla, and not the cheap stuff either. After Gertie put brownies on the saucers I plunked a big spoonful of ice cream onto Carter’s dessert.
“You might as well pass that over here,” Ida Belle said.
By the time the ice cream made it around the table, there wasn’t much left. Carter narrowed his eyes at me when he saw that so I spooned the remainder of the carton onto his plate before turning to Gertie.
“What’s the big news?”
“Well, I got to thinking about those horns. Does Carter know what happened?”
“Someone stole Gertie’s longhorns,” I told him, promising Gertie I’d give him the details later. “Go ahead.”
She nodded. “So I wondered what so special about them and did a little research. Do you know what I learned?”
“Obviously she doesn’t or we wouldn’t be here.” Ida Belle sounded exasperated and I wondered if she’d left Walter cooling his heels. I met Carter’s amused eyes and knew the same thought had crossed his mind. Meanwhile, Gertie continued her story and finally got to the reason for her visit.
“I don’t owe Sammy a penny! And do you know why?”
Ida Belle growled in her throat, and Gertie huffed back.
“The question was rhetorical, Ida Belle!” She turned to me and Carter. “Well, do you know why?”
Ida Belle’s palm hit the table and I couldn’t help the bubble of mirth that slipped out at Gertie’s offended expression. I shook my head, not daring to look at Carter’s face. He shrugged and Gertie beamed as she answered the question.
“Those horns are illegal.”
Carter cleared his throat and said, “So you admit to taking the horns from Sammy’s?”
Gertie’s eyes popped. “What horns?”
“Oh, for pity’s sake!” he nearly shouted while Ida Belle laughed. “The ones you speared my squad car with.”
“Hmm. I’m not sure about that,” Gertie replied.
Carter shot me a sideways glare at the strangled laugh I choked off and I grabbed my coffee cup, taking it to pour down the drain while he continued questioning Gertie. “Why are you unsure? You had a pair of horns on your car when you tore into mine.”
“Yes,” Gertie admitted. “But I’m not sure they’re the same ones you’re talking about.”
His face reddened. “Did you take a pair of horns from Sammy’s shop?”
Gertie drew herself upright in her chair. “Are you accusing me of theft?”
“I’m simply asking if you had a pair of horns in your possession.”
“I already told you that I did. Don’t you remember?”
Carter’s eyes shut and I mentally counted to 300 before he opened them and tried again. “Were the horns on your car from Sammy’s shop?”
Gertie smiled broadly. “Why didn’t you ask me that first?”
“Just answer the question,” he replied tersely.
“Yes, I had a pair of horns from Sammy’s shop,” Gertie said. “What’s with all the questions?”
“Sammy filed a complaint and Sheriff Lee issued an arrest warrant for the theft of the horns,” Carter explained. He cast me a nervous glance and I heard our plans for a romantic evening taking flight because I knew he intended to arrest Gertie.
She had other ideas though. After sipping her coffee, she gazed at him over the rim of her cup. “Well, I wish you luck finding the perp.”
Carter’s jaw dropped. “You wish me luck? But you just admitted to taking them!”
Gertie carefully placed her coffee cup on the table and then spread her hands on the surface as though smoothing out wrinkles. “I did no such thing.”
“She’s right,” Ida Belle added, sitting back in her chair, her blue eyes alight with mischief.
“Then how did you get them?” he demanded, getting to his feet and pushing his chair with such force that it toppled backward.
“I told you they’re from Sammy’s.” Gertie's look suggested that Carter was slow.
“Then you’re under arrest!” His narrowed eyes challenged me to protest but I knew it wouldn’t be necessary.
“Where’s the proof?” Gertie asked, refusing to stand.
“You just said you had his horns.”
“How do I know they’re the same ones that were stolen?”
“Sammy only had one set in the shop,” Carter said impatiently. “Therefore, they have to be the same.”
“I’d like to see them to be sure they’re the ones I had.” Butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth and Carter dropped onto the chair that I’d set upright.
“You know I can’t match them,” he rumbled. “Because they were stolen.”
“I know that! Just as bold as can be, someone lifted them from my car while it was parked on the street in Desperado.” Gertie shook her head. “I don’t think that town has reformed, what with all the thieves running around.”
“That’s not what I meant!” He shook his head and chewed his lip briefly before eyeing her sideways. “Let’s see if I have this right: even though you had the only pair of horns in Sammy’s shop, you’re claiming that you don’t know if they’re the ones he said were stolen.”
“I’ve never stolen a thing in my life!” she declared dusting the shoulders of her shirt.
Carter rested his head in his hands as though it hurt. Then he looked up, inhaled, and...exhaled loudly. Waving his hands helplessly, he said, “You should go into politics!”
“Why, thank you!” Gertie looked delighted at his sarcastic comment. “Would you vote for me?”
“Humph!” He rose and pushed his chair under the table. “It wouldn’t matter who I actually voted for. In the end, I’m sure the votes would all be in your favor.”
I prepared to walk him to the front door but before we were out of the kitchen Gertie said, “Deputy? If you decide to arrest Sammy for having a Mighty Johnson rack, let me know. It just so happens I got a good look at it!”
Ida Belle lost it and I doubled over, unable to contain myself. Carter stalked to the front door without me. I stumbled after him, still snickering. But before leaving, he turned with a frown. “They’re corrupting you!”
The door slammed and I hurried to look out the window, hoping he wasn’t too mad. As he neared the squad car, he saw me and grinned. “Call me when they’re gone,” he mouthed. Then, shaking his head with laughter, he got behind the wheel and drove off.
I returned to the kitchen and tipped my head to Gertie. “Do you really want it known that you saw Sammy’s Mighty Johnson?”
Her eyes sparkled. “I’d just like to hear Carter asking him about it,” she admitted with a giggle. “Actually, that’s the name of the cattle breed and the reason why the horns are so valuable. The once common range herd were nearly slaughtered to extinction due to a misconception that its ground horns made a powerful aphrodisiac. The federal government passed a law in 1965 making it illegal to buy, sell, or otherwise possess the horns. Sadly, even with the sanctions, there are relatively few now living in protected areas.”
“So Sammy was breaking the law,” Ida Belle said.
“Technically, he fell under the grandfather clause because those horns have been there since his great-uncle’s time.” Gertie paused thoughtfully. “I wonder if there’s anything to those rumors, though.”
Ida Belle snorted. “I don’t think you’ll ever be in a position to find out!”
Gertie scowled. “That may be but I think I’ll ask Brock to find the seller and get me some. It will be my wedding gift to you and Walter.”
“I meant you can’t take it,” Ida Belle sputtered. “Don’t you dare give Walter anything like that!”
Gertie stood with a sigh. “Well, how will I ever know if it works?”
Ida Belle took our dishes to the sink and rinsed them while Gertie divided the remaining brownies between us. Then, as they walked out the front door, Ida Belle suggested that Brock should try the potion.
“I’m sure he doesn’t need help,” Gertie said. “Maybe I could slip some into Carter’s coffee.”
“I heard that,” I hollered down the steps with a warning look at Gertie.
“Just kidding,” she said. Grabbing Ida Belle’s arm, she whispered loudly, “Maybe we should make an elixir for women and put it in the SLS cough syrup. What do you think?”
I closed the door, hoping Ida Belle talked her out of the crazy idea before she turned Sinful into a mecca for senior women hoping to spice up their love lives. I returned to the kitchen, washed the dishes, and put them away. Before calling Carter, I made a pot of coffee and downed a cup since I planned on having a late night.
It didn’t take him long to reach my house. “Where’s your car?” I asked, looking over his shoulder when I opened the front door for him.
He snorted. “My car is a magnet for Gertie. Anytime I park out front, she shows up.”
I pulled him inside and closed the door, leaning on it with my hands behind my back. “Maybe we should also keep the lights off,” I suggested.
He gathered me in his arms and buried his face in my neck. “Definitely keep the lights off.”
“I had a cup of coffee,” I confessed a minute later—when I could speak coherently. “Do you want some?”
“I don’t need coffee.”
He breathed into my hair and I nearly melted into a puddle right there. Until someone hit the door with both fists, startling me upright. The top of my head crashed into Carter’s chin and we both yelled in pain.
“I’ll handle this!” he said, moving me aside and throwing the door open. “What?” he roared. “Oh, Kyle. It’s you.”
I turned and waved to Deputy Breaux. He nodded quickly before bugging his eyes at Carter. “I need help!”
“Can’t it wait?” Carter closed his eyes and we both knew what was coming.
“Bobbert’s pigs broke through the cow fence and now they’re out and they knocked the chicken wire over and the chickens got into the horse pasture and caused them to stampede right through the electric fence and the dogs in the neighborhood chased the horses...”
Carter rolled his eyes at me while Kyle continued the tale of chaos and woe. “I guess I’ll need that cup of coffee after all.”
By the time Kyle finished, he was so upset that he grabbed the front of Carter’s shirt. “HELP!” he wheezed.
“Better make the coffee to go,” Carter amended.
I packed two travel mugs and a baggie of brownies for them to split. He gave me a quick kiss and followed Kyle to his car. I watched them and waved. Then Kyle pressed the gas pedal to the floor and Carter grabbed the dash when his head snapped back. I hoped Kyle wasn’t too distracted to drive safely.
I went inside and called Ally but got her voicemail. Then I tried watching TV but everything bored me. So what to do on a Sunday evening with hi-octane coffee coursing through my veins... Snap!
I ran upstairs to change and then hopped in my Jeep. I got directions from Gertie and drove a few miles out of town where I found Carter, Kyle, and the Bobberts working to capture and corral farm animals.
Carter gaped at me. “What are you doing here?”
I stuck my fingers between my teeth and whistled at the dog sneaking around the backside of the cow Kyle led with a rope. The dog loped off, and I shrugged at Carter. “I’m running on caffeine and need to work it off.”
“Good,” Kyle said. “I don’t think we have enough people for this job!”
“Do you want me to call Ida Belle and Gertie?”
Kyle looked hopeful, but Carter shut the suggestion down. “But save a little caffeine for later,” he suggested, winking at me.
And then Kyle’s cow broke free, scaring a pygmy goat being carried by one of the Bobbert boys. He dropped the squirming goat and it nearly stepped on a chicken. The bird squawked and flew after the dog who’d returned. The dog barked and frightened a piglet held by another Bobbert. It bucked and squealed, slipping to the ground and nearly causing the horse that Mr. Bobbert led to stumble. The horse reared, and Kyle screamed.
I raised an eyebrow at the mayhem and asked Carter, “What did you say?”
He wiped his sweaty neck and changed his tune. “You’d better get on the phone to see who’s available to help. And Fortune? I’m afraid you’re going to need all that caffeine.”
I chuckled and pulled my phone from my pocket, realizing how far I’d come since leaving the CIA. If Harrison and Morrow could see me now, they’d probably never believe it. I turned to see a cow standing behind me and stepped back to take a selfie with it. But I wouldn’t send it to my former colleagues. No, this was a reminder that no matter where I wound up in life, the biggest piece of my heart would always be in Sinful.