We grunted simultaneously—which was about the only thing we had done in sync—and backed away from each other.
He blinked at me blankly and I must have looked at him the way the helpless girls in slasher films look at the crazed killer, because I couldn’t have been any more horrified than I was in that moment. Although unlike the ubiquitous stupid victim who always ended up dead, I kind of wanted to die in that moment.
“I am so sorry, Jared,” I croaked, my voice hoarse even after I cleared my throat.
He gave me one of those tight half-smiles, making me feel even worse. “It’s okay,” he lied.
I focused my eyes somewhere over his left shoulder. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s...”
Jared shook his head decisively, cutting me off. “I’m not doing it for you, am I?” he asked.
“What?” I gasped, my eyes suddenly drawn to his face. “No, I...” the words dissolving on my tongue because I couldn’t look at him and lie.
“Come on, Brooklyn,” he said, squeezing my arm. “I’ve been lied to my whole life. I’ve been surrounded by fakers, pretending to like me because I’m a celebrity. Don’t you do it, too. I can take that you aren’t into me, but I can’t take the lies.”
I took a breath and met his eyes, feeling the prick of tears in my own. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “That’s the honest truth. I really am, Jared.”
“Don’t be,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I guess I knew, but thought maybe if you got to know me...” his words trailed off and he shrugged.
Ugh, could he be any sweeter? “Jared, I did get to know you. You’re funny and sweet and...”
“Don’t forget sexy,” he said with a sad smile.
A hot blush crept up my face at the memory of his hard, sexy body pressed against me just moments ago. “You’re kidding, right? You’re totally sexy and I really do like you. Just...”
“Not that way,” he said.
“Not that way,” I agreed on a sigh. Because life would be so much easier if I did like him that way. I realized in that second that this was what had just happened to Emmie and Dave. I’d had so much trouble understanding how she could reject such an amazing guy, and here I was doing the exact same thing.
Jared echoed my sigh, bringing my thoughts back to him. “I’ve been friend zoned.”
I cringed.
“How does it happen?” he asked.
“What?”
He blew out a breath. “How do I keep ending up in the friend zone? I’m nice, I work out, I’m hot as hell, or so you tell me.” He smiled at me when I laughed, then said, “And I even tell good jokes...I don’t get it.”
“Girls are stupid,” I said.
He smirked. “I hate to point out the obvious, but,” he made a sweeping gesture toward me.
“I know,” I said, laughing. “I’m totally including myself. You’re a great guy, Jared. Honestly. And I guess that’s why I let it get this far even though I suppose deep down I knew that it probably wasn’t going to work out—you’re so the best guy for me right now.”
He frowned. “What does that mean?”
I shook my head.
Jared nudged me with his knee. “Come on. You have to tell me. If only to spare me more desperation and heartache for the future. Help me stop the cycle of friend zone madness.”
I grinned. I supposed I owed him that much. “This is going to sound really bad.”
“You’ve already chipped at least one of my teeth, why stop hurting me now?”
I laughed again. “See? This is why you’re a great guy. Even though I’ve maimed and insulted you, you’re still telling jokes.”
“It’s a nervous response. Believe me, I’m weeping on the inside.” His smile said otherwise, making me feel microscopically better. “Go on,” he urged.
“What I meant was that you’re the obvious choice: smart, funny, sweet and totally sexy as hell.” I fanned myself dramatically, making him chuckle. “But you can’t force chemistry, even if it should make sense.”
“Oh come on, you’re just not trying hard enough,” he said. “I’ll tell you what. We’ll give it another go and if by our fifth wedding anniversary you’re still not feeling it, we’ll just get a divorce, no questions asked. You get the beach house in The Hamptons and I’ll keep the dog and the Manhattan apartment. What do you say?”
His words were light, but there was a thread of hope in them. God, before coming here to Rosewood, I never could have imagined a guy would be into me and I’d turn him down. Any guy. And now, looking at this guy who really was smart, funny and sexy—the whole package, I was doing just that. It was hard to believe.
I shook my head, more at myself than at his words. “I hate The Hamptons; I would have to keep the Manhattan apartment.”
“Done,” he said, his eyes intent on mine, and I had a feeling he would have agreed to anything for another chance. The thought of it almost made me dizzy. Guys never liked me before. Was it really just my commitment to being more outgoing and not being the wallflower that was making them notice me? Was it that I was new to the school? It couldn’t be that the guys had low standards; an inventory of my new friends here at the school was enough to make me realize that couldn’t be true.
But whatever it was, this guy wasn’t for me. “Jared...”
He sighed and grabbed my hand, twining his fingers in mine. “Fine. I get it. No marriage, no beach house, no dog. He would have been an awesome dog, though.”
“I bet,” I said, squeezing his fingers.
“Can we still make out, though?”
I looked up at him, eyebrows raised.
He looked down at me, waiting.
I went up on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Very tempting. But I wouldn’t want to ruin that perfect set of teeth.”
He nodded, resigned to my answer, and the look on his face nearly broke my heart. “I guess it’s for the best. They cost a fortune.”
That seemed to signal the end of our conversation and relationship, so I peeked out from the bushes to make sure no one would notice us emerging from the hedgerow.
“Brooklyn?” he said from behind me, the tone of his voice making me turn around to face him.
“Yeah?”
“Who is it?” he asked, all traces of humor gone from his eyes.
I opened my mouth. Then closed it again.
“Is it Dave? I’ve seen him look at you. Is that why Emmie broke up with him?”
I took a breath, but no words formed.
“You just put me in the friend zone,” he said. “Friends tell other friends the truth. Always.”
I looked up at him again. “Honestly, Jared? The truth is I really have no idea.”
He worked his jaw and then said, “What do you mean?”
“I can’t. I can’t get into this with you,” I said, feeling like the worst person ever. I’d basically just dumped him and now he wanted me to tell him if there was someone else?
“Brooklyn, it’s okay,” he said, tugging on my hand again. “You and me—we’re so last week. Just tell me. I can tell something’s bugging you.”
Ya think? I exhaled. “It’s not why Emmie broke up with him. She...she’d rather have him in the friend zone,” I said, using his words.
“So how do you factor into this?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. When I met him that first day and didn’t know who he was...he was...” I broke off and looked up at Jared. He looked curious but sad at the same time and I knew that even though he’d asked me to tell him, I was hurting him. “I guess there was just chemistry.”
“So are you going to go out with him now?”
The million dollar question.
“I don’t know.”
“But you want to.”
“Jared...it’s so complicated. Emmie...you...”
And then suddenly, I was in his arms, being held, but not in a sexual way. In the friend zone way. “Brooklyn,” he said into my hair. “I like you. I’ve liked you from the first time I met you and Dave told me what a funny and smart girl you were.”
I nearly moaned into Jared’s chest at that. Instead, I forced myself to hold my breath while he continued.
“I get now that he was talking you up because he liked you, but with him and Emmie...” he trailed off as he squeezed me close. I splayed my fingers on his muscular back, wanting to move them and stroke him comfortingly, but afraid if I did, he’d take it the wrong way. “But you don’t like me that way and I have to accept it and I will. But liking you means I want to see you happy and if that’s with Dave, well, you couldn’t find a nicer guy.” He pulled out of the hug and looked down at me. “Other than me, of course.”
I laughed despite the sudden tears that had leaked out of me. He reached out and wiped them away.
“Stop being so nice,” I said. “This would be so much easier if you were a douche.”
He shook his head. “No. Guilt is how I torture the friend zone girls. Expect years of suffering.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. We should get out of the bushes.”
He nodded and stuck his head out. “Coast is clear.”
We walked back to the main doors side by side and suddenly I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. Obviously I had been lying to myself about Jared, and I felt totally guilty for stringing him along, but now that we were going to be just friends (unless he got weird about things) I felt lighter and like I was finally on the right path, even though it was still a complicated one.
Dave was, after all, Emmie’s ex.
“Can you not say anything to Dave?” I blurted.
He looked over at me. “About which part?”
“All of it.”
He nodded, making my heart twist over asking him to do so much. I felt so bad about it all. I was trying not to be all conceited about it, but he’d seemed to really like me and I’d just told him I didn’t like him that way and was now asking him to keep secrets from his roommate. Secrets that included me and his roommate. Ugh. I felt like a horrible person.
“So,” he said, as we approached the front steps to the main Rosewood building.
Okay, maybe he would get a little weird now. I hoped not, though. I really did like him.
“So,” I echoed.
“I guess since you’re no longer my girlfriend,” he winced slightly, but I pretended not to notice. “You’re not obligated to read my manuscript, but...”
“Oh!” I said, slapping my forehead. “I completely forgot. Of course I still want to read it,” I said, happy for a way to give him something back for how amazing he was being over all of this.
He looked at me for a second and then nodded and reached into his messenger bag, pulling out a thick envelope. “I guess it’s better this way.”
I took the heavy package from him. “What do you mean?”
“Well, if we’d broken up after you read it, I’d always wonder if you did it because the book is so horrible.”
I laughed, but noticed the vulnerability in his eyes, so I said, “I’m sure it’s good. They wouldn’t have given you a book deal if it was crap, would they?”
He shrugged. “I’m a celebrity.” Which I guess explained it. “But feel free to be brutal. I haven’t sent it to my agent yet, so there’s still time to fix things. You know, like the ending.”
I cocked my head.
He grinned, “You know, if we wanted to add in a pretty brunette with a slight British accent.”
I blushed, but smacked his arm. “Barf, Jared. You’ve gotta stop that.”
He grinned. “I know. That was the last one, I promise.”
I glanced down. “You think I don’t see your crossed fingers?”
“Crap,” he said and then before I could stop him or even really figure out what was going on, he leaned in and gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you later, Brooklyn. Thanks.”
Not waiting for a reply, he turned and started walking down the driveway and then cut across the campus toward the sports complex. I guessed he was taking the short cut back to Westwood through the infamous break in the fence between campuses.
As I turned to go into the building, I couldn’t help but wonder what he’d been thanking me for.